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Closest you've ever been to being normal
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 17
Thread images: 2
I'll start.

>be me
>older chad brother in the military
>comes home in the holidays
>mostly watches me play vidya and calls me loser etc
>go to bathroom and see his electric shaver
>always curious about shaving my pubes
>shave the right half of my ballhair and surroundings to see growth and compare
>comes around to christmas
>brother throws christmas themed party for all his chad and stacey friends
>pressures me to drink
>4 beers
>very drunk
>18 y/old 7/10 starts hitting on me, probably for laughs
>my dick is diamonds
>she asks me to show her my room
>on my bed
>kisses me
>almost cum in my pants
>she pulls my pants off
>sees my Harvey Dent pubes
>laughs hysterically while wtfing at the same time
>calls all her friends in
>sitting there pantless trying to cover up while being laughed at and photographed by a group of socially normal people

>kill me pls

Still have nightmares over it, decided to never shave again
She laughed because you dont shave half of them you shave all of them retard.
should have owned up to it, it's for science bitch
I had sex once.

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>>4 beers
>>very drunk
probably a better idea now that i think of it but idk how i wouldve explained while really drunl and being laughed at
>be me, first year unifag
>first couple of weeks of freshers term are shit, don't make any friends, etc.
>a few weeks in I meet this guy when I'm in the bar by myself (our bar is pretty quiet most nights and a nice place to read with a few pints), we'll call him Matt, because that's his name
>he's by himself too, he just walks up to where I'm sitting, asks if he can sit down and then starts chatting to me
>initially I'm fucking annoyed and anxious, but he's a pretty cool guy and I ended having a few pints with him and getting on well
>next day in dinner - I usually sat by myself at this point - he's sat with his friends, sees me and says "Hey anon, come sit with us"
>go sit with him and discover his friends - while definitely not 'cool' in any conventional sense - are all nice people
>basically a gang of fairly nerdy people, you'd probably call them 'betas', and Matt - again, you'd never call him 'typically' cool - is the sort of unspoken leader; he's the charismatic one that gets everyone out of their shells, persuades them to come out to the bar, what have you, kind of an alpha among betas
>fast forward to now, our second term of uni, and they're all my friends as well. People relevant for this story are:
>Matt: the most sociable of us, always organizes our meetups, is now going out with
>Anna(other names have been changed, just in case): Matt's gf, almost certainly the most qt of our group
>Robert: guy with similar beta levels to me, really nice guy (not 'nice guy'), has a big crush on
>Georgie: despite her occasional sjw tendencies and her tumblr-esque obsession with Star Trek I get on pretty well with her. Seemingly unaware that she is Rob's oneitis, as he's only told me and Matt
>all of us go out to the pub the other day, have a few too many pints, but a fairly normal night out
>Matt being his usual self, telling us funny stories, making us all laugh, and we're all getting pretty boozed
>when the pub shuts other people in our group start peeling off back to theirs
>Rob, who is at this point the drunkest of us, invites me, Matt, Anna and Georgie back to his for a few more drinks
>probably shouldn't because lectures, but whatever, go for it
>get back to Rob's, everyone starts drinking spirits despite already being pretty messy
>play drinking games a bit; never have I ever, ring of fire, etc. till about 1am. Me and Rob are both virgins, but everyone knew that already so we're not really embarrassed about it anymore.
>Rob gets up and staggers to the loo, is gone a while and so we check on him and (surprise surprise) he's had too much and been sick. We ask if he's alright and he says he just needs a while alone with the ivory throne
>I stay with him for about 15 mins while the others go back into Rob's room and carry on drinking, making sure he drinks a bit of water/he doesn't choke himself, etc., then go back and rejoin the fun when I'm sure he's not going to die.

>this is where it gets weird, and where people will almost certainly start saying I'm bullshitting, but I swear on my nan I'm not
>go back into Rob's room and Anna and Georgie are both in their bra and pants, Matt is in his pants, all three of them sat on Rob's double bed
>still not sure how this happened, I assume it was a dare or something, but they start encouraging me to do the same
>too self-conscious/confused, so just take my shirt off and sit on a chair near the bed
>seemingly predominantly at Georgie's instigation they're all getting a bit more giggly and touchy-feely with eachother, Anna included, they end up lying down on the bed together
>I'm awkwardly sat there with my shirt off trying to make conversation
>Matt's encouraging me to come join them on the bed, but I'm just a bit weirded out by the unfolding situation/uncomfortable that Rob's oneitis is getting up to this in his bed while he's puking his guts out from drinking too much
>I could have joined them, and now sort of wish I had even if just to have a naked cuddle with a girl, but I just made my excuses about lectures (it was getting on for 2am) and went back to my room, didn't even think to check up on Rob.

still sort of regretting this 2bh
When I was 16. I had a gf back then. Yep, almost 10 years ago.
holy shit you fucked up
My freshman year of college I reinvented myself, made a ton of friends, was flirting with a qt who would have fucked me, and was even getting to go to parties. I ended up drifting from those friends, cucking myself, and staying inside every weekend because I got too drunk a couple times and started ranting about my dead best friend from high school and how I want to kill myself.
Oh, also had a massive panic attack on weed for the first time in my life (smoked a lot my senior year of high school) and went full autism in front of another qt and told her I liked her only to get rejected.
I feel you man. I somehow made myself to be normal and pushed away my depressing tendencies and even had a couple of friends. But I somehow started to tell people about the shit I made myself think about. It even wasn't that much real for me back then. I guess I was an attention whore and wanted to be interesting. But I somehow made the thoughts real and ended up really depressed.
Can relate, I smoked pratically everyday on senior year, never had a panic attack, but I had low blood pressure once and made a sweat puddle in my desk kek
I left hs and now I'm stuck with friends that call me stupid nicknames
They call me them even in front of girls, I want to die
>be me
>get drunk/high as fuck on schooltrip
>go to room
>puke everywhere
>clean up with bedsheets
>chick who's into me knocks on door
>asks if she can "use the toilet" in our room
>say yeah sure
>comes out of toilet, sits next to me on the bed
>anon did you puke ?
>gross, why didn't you say anything !!
>she leaves
>pass out like a minute later
>next morning everyone knows

she ignored me since that day

That was the last time I even got close to getting laid.
Thread replies: 17
Thread images: 2
Thread DB ID: 495340

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