Autistic shit you do: the thread Randomly count in my head in

whenever i put pizza rolls in the microwave, i triple count them to make sure they're all there. when they're done cooking, i recount them. everytime i eat a pizza roll, i recount them over and over again to make sure my pizza rolls are all there. also, sometimes i just eat the bread of the pizza roll and not eat the
meat/cheese/sauce.

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Laugh maniacally to myself when things go right, then fantasize about the day I'll have revenge on the normies

Pull my shirt over my face like I scored a goal in soccer when I take a shit.

>become fanatically loyal to movie/book/vidya factions
>collect mountain dew bottles
>go to public bathrooms and piss on the toilet paper & flush handle

>>26162564
just buy something else you dumb fuck
like idk a single candy bar if you have to for a snack

>>26163980
>go to public bathrooms and piss on the toilet paper & flush handle

that's not autism. you're just an awful human being

when im alone and on the pc i sometimes laugh at things really hard for a second or two even if it's not that funny and then go right back to blank face and repeat a lot

>>26162618
you have ocd nigger
>>26162698
just retarded anon
>>26163980
regular autism

>>26164028
or he can buy nothing at all and walk out the store. nothing wrong with that if the store doesn't have what you need

>call people pinecones when I get pissed
>go to shitter, write "The Great Saswante Tey Une hath risen to reap the sinners" on toilet paper, stick in mirror
>whistle nazi march songs almost everyday
>put on bird mask, robe, and fedora, go around neighborhood knocking on doors, asking if they are ready for the return of Ghengis Khan

I repeat stuff I just said under my breath, I did it much more often as a kid and not as frequent now.

I bite the skin off the tip of my fingers.

I count in 2 + 3, ever since I learned to count. If I have to count a batch of apples or whatever I do it 2 + 3 (5) + 2 (7) + 5(10)
etc

flap my hands around like a fucking retard for no reason when im alone

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>>26162564
I choke myself.... all the time.
Its like a weird fucked up psychological addiction for me. it started when i was 11 and im almost 21 now and its a weird combo of self harm and an addiction. I try to look up what the dangers of it are.. if it makes you stupid, and causes brain aneurisms.. but there is a lack of research of it. so all i know is that you can pass out on your arm and you die.

No one knows i do it, cept for my mom shes very worried about me. it gets so bad i do it in short bursts about once a minute at least. when alone.

its so fucked up in just about every way and its not even edgy like cutting, its just fucking autistic and weird. i hate myself

im literally the most pitiful austistic piece of trash. only reason anyone has done anything for me is because they feel sorry for me.


god...im pathetic what do i even do


i have no idea what the hell is wrong with me

>>26164380

>whistle nazi march songs almost every day

i do that shit all the time.. mein nigger.

>tfw walking around whistling der konigratzer (i know i probably spelled that wrong but who cares) marsch and no one knows

>always eat my pizza counterclockwise, starting with the one closest to me
>get mad when someone interferes with that order

>can't maintain eye contact for more than a second in everyday situations like classes or grocery shopping, can stare into random girls eyes on the bus for minutes or until they are creeped out and leave

>can't cut/rip through seals on boxes
>sometimes spend half an hour peeling it off, literally scratching halfway though the box in the process

>>26164641
chop ur arms off

>>26162564
>work as security at Best Buy
>have to stand by the door so I ask customers if they need help with anything
>autists always come in to buy vidya and anime movies
>"do you need help w-"
>they aggressively stare at the floor and rush past me

Well fuck you too perma-virgin

>>26164766
>Need to clap or say stuff three times or otherwise I feel like something terrible is going to happen.

>Run like a retard when I imagine things,

>talk to and debate with myself.

>>26164878
first one is ocd
second is general autism
third i don't know, but I do it too

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>>26162564
Sometimes I type the lyrics of the music that I'm listening. The objective is to get to the end of the song before the singer.

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>>26162564
>meh tier
>>26162618
>ocd tier
>>26162673
>autistic sanic faggot tier
>>26162698
>normal autism tier
>>26163980
>fucking asshole tier
>>26164050
>its even weirder that you realize you do this tier
>>26164380
>laughable tier
>>26164417
>not that weird I also bite the skin off my fingers but i dont repeat stuff under my breath tier
>>26164423
>retard tier
>>26164641
>go get therapy tier
>>26164727
>what the shit are you doing sperglord tier
>>26164831
>normalfag get out reeeeeeeeeeee tier

I just have really bad impulsive thoughts. I have been able to keep it under wrap since I started taking ADHD medicine. I always have the impulsive thought to just grab my gun and shoot a crowd of people, fuck shit up by destroying it, or just fucking randomly start fighting. I used to keep it down by hitting stuff really hard when no one was looking or digging my nails into stuff. I was pretty close to causing Columbine 2.0

>>26164831
Haha I'm one of those guys, sorry bro I get really nervous, but I would do the same with anyone, don't take it personal.

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I am sexually attracted to my cat.

it started when he started cuddling me at night.. and he was purring in my face and stuff. and they do the knead thing, and he was paw paw ing my special place and i thought of his cute kitty whiskers ticking my junk as he purred and licked and mewed.

when he lays with me now he feel his flat little cat belly.and sometimes he kisses me and stuff and his little kitty brown eye gets in my face.


one time i put gravy on my underwear and he licked it off...

ive been doing this for a few years now and he doenst know whats going on..

sometimes i give him a few friendly pats on his cute little kitty butt.

god i want to fuck him and spank his little ass.

but that would hurts kitty and i still loves my kitty ;-;

>>26165009


I can tell by the babyspeak and by the fact that you molest your cat that you have some SERIOUS issues

>>26165123
it made me hard either way, i love sex stories on 4chan

>>26162564
I play this game where I count the number of lines (pen strokes really) in words. Then use the total number of lines to make new words. So like:

"Strawberry fields forever" = 44
"Hello world its me anonymous" = 44

I also do a range of other autistic shit. But this one has always been my favorite; wastes alot of time.

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>download random torrent
>seed it when finished
>sit for hours and watch people download it
>that comfy feel when someone hits 100%

>>26165322
I used to do this when I had 250mbps internet at my place. Felt good.

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>>26164417

I also bite my fingers, it's directly related to stress, so I do it a little all the time, and more when I'm stressed. Specifically my thumbs when I'm really horny.

I intentionally try and and put people in strange situations in order to see how they react. I used to talk to people at random to see what they would do, with obvious results. I write cryptic letters with loads of occult symbolism and put them in people's mailboxes. Or balance pinecones on their doorhandle.

I do a thing where if someone says a sentence that catches my attention (around one in every one hundred, but sometimes one in every five) I'll then count the number of letters that are in the first half of the alphabet and how many are in the second half.

Sometimes instead of which half of the alphabet the letter is in, I'll go by how tall a given letter is. When writing by hand some letters are tall like T short like A and some go under the line like J. I'll count how many of each kind there are and sometimes it balances, like if there's 20 short ones 11 tall ones and 8 under the line I'll sum it up as 20 normals and 19 outliers.

>>26162564
I can't walk in a certain amount of steps that aren't divisible by three. I also have a habit of touching creases and corners of walls and twisting my fingers.

If someone drops matches on the floor, I pretend to count them in an instant and say some random number to impress on people.

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>>26165569

Amazing.

Every day is a roll of the dice for this man.

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Well, i eat with my hands.. is this autistic?

I also pretend i shoot people when i'm taking a dump

Just the usual stupid faces in the mirror/talking to myself when I'm alone stuff.

One thing I do, though, that's silly enough to the degree that I don't want others to know is I record myself whistling made up songs because I keep telling myself I'll finally start making music someday. I have hundreds of recordings by now. I used to do other sounds in stead of whistling, though, but switched over to whistling when I realized that I couldn't tell what the he'll they were supposed to sound like. I don't really know how I would describe those sounds. It was kind of like a cross between a "ch" sound and a "sh" sound.

>>26164417
I did some digging around and the first thing is apparently palilalia.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palilalia
>It can also occur in a variety of genetic disorders including Fragile X syndrome, Prader-Willi syndrome, Asperger's syndrome, and autism.

lmao

I play a game i like a lot, i'm obviously autistic here guys

>>26164641
i do the same thing except i hit myself in the head instead of choke. i have bruises and bumps all over the sides of my head and i'm pretty sure i've given myself brain damage at this point.

>>26165995
But, just...why? I don't get it. Do you actually try to get yourself to stop?

Whenever I write or read something short, I often count the number of characters including spaces, punctuation, and letters. If it isn't even, then it freaks me out and I get uncomfortable.

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>>26165757
>having a mirror
>looking at your own reflection ever
NORMIE

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You mean actually?

>wear my socks inside-out to avoid feeling the inside texture
>walk on my toes everywhere and bounce along as I walk
>tiptoe laterally and rotate on my toes a lot while walking through people and obstacles, spin completely sometimes
>crush the back of my shoes under my feel and walk with just the front part inserted
>stand observing a group of people I'd like to socialize with, looking for an excuse to enter the conversation, then leave when I find none
>sniff things/people
>sit cross-legged, hunched over, and rocking/swaying in small circles
>constantly, violently shake one leg, particularly when excited or nervous
>speak with a slight lisp
>eat even numbers of things to equalize the sensation on both sides of my mouth
>unconsciously read text aloud sometimes when I see it
>echo people sometimes
>tear the tags/seams off of clothing to avoid feeling them
>look past people or at other parts of their body while speaking to them
>grind my teeth together when thinking of words
>compulsively pick at nails, scabs, zits, etc.
>sit the wrong way in chairs
>get extremely uncomfortable if I have to transition from one headspace or task to another
>space out and stare at things a lot
>develop obsessions and attachments to very particular things
>develop obsessions with very particular topics and then rant at people about them
>flinch/react to sounds that apparently don't bother other people
>wear eaplugs/headphones/ear protection to focus
>spin things
>pace constantly, easily several miles a day even if I'm in one room
>"dance" when I'm excited
>instinctively recoil from/twist past/duck under unexpected physical contact and need a moment to cool down before I can return the hug
>cover my ears with my hands/fingers
>cover one eye with my hand or shut one eye to block off movement in my peripheral vision while in class or watching TV with people
>have EXTREME hyperlexia
>have shitty volume control
>maniacally collect and categorize trivial information
(CONT)

>>26166080
because i hate myself. i obviously realize that it's irrational to hurt yourself and that you should just try and change your behavior and be positive instead, but when in the middle of a panic/emotional episode that all flies out the window and i find myself smashing my head without even realizing it.

it's not like i sit down and say "oh today i will hit myself", it just happens. been talking to therapists about it for around 5-6 years and nothing seems to help. desu i think i am just a weak piece of shit who wants to die and this is my way of "committing suicide" in my mind without actually doing it.

i really would kill myself if i weren't such a pussy.

>>26166173
Have a nice day, anon.

Call myself "big dog" as a form of personal encouragement.

whenever I remember something cringe worthy that I did, I yell something random, like a cat meow or bird noise. Either that or I have this full body tic/twitch.
I can't control it.

I occasionally dont feel like talking to people.

I pray to an imaginary being called god for things to get better.

It never does

>>26166210
The fact that your comment is original says a lot about this board...

>>26166182
(CONT)
>plug/unplug ears to make them do the "WA-WA-WA" thing
>play with my vision, basically spacing out and letting stuff distort for a bit
>replay entire songs/episodes of cartoons/movies in my head, in accurate and vivid detail, when I'm spacing out; basically rewatch or re-listen-to recordings in my head
>play little puzzles or video games in my head
>worldbuild in my head and daydream
>don't react to extreme pain and injury to the point that people point it out; react with agony to the wrong sounds, sights, or light touch
>seriously used to do the hand-flapping thing
>used to scream whenever I was exposed to or remembered something cringey

The list goes on.

every time my dad is angry i have thoughts on how im gonna knock him out

every time i buy a pre-made sandwich i always check if they poisoned it

>>26166458
>>26166458
That's not autism. It seems just...unstable. And paranoid. No offense.

>>26166186
Hitting yourself can do permanent damage and kill brain cells. Simply cutting up your thighs and wrists will heal in a month and has virtually no risk if you do it safely.

>>26165995

actually i'll go ahead and post the rest of the shit to do:

1. make random whining/painful sounds when remembering or doing something cringe
2. if no self checkout is available, put items back and come back the next day
3. smash self in head during emotional episodes
4. won't talk on phone
5. scream my lungs out every lunch break when i get into my car
6. lay in bed for hours and just think about all the ways i could kill myself
7. rock back and forth on one leg to the other like a penguin when talking to anyone
8. completely unable to sit still
9. shit squatting on my feet
10. sit in chair cross legged, can't put feet on ground
11. shake leg/legs whenever sitting and talking to anyone to the point that it will make a car i'm a passenger in rock
12. constantly plagued by murder/rape thoughts and always think of completely offensive and awful things like not being able to leave the house unless i say "nigger" to myself 15 times as punishment
13. cannot stop twirling hair or biting fingers when talking to someone

i'm sure there's more but oh well

>>26166488
i also like to take a single leaf from a bush and put it in my hand so i have something to touch while im walking

>>26166458
>every time i buy a pre-made sandwich i always check if they poisoned it
How do you do this, exactly?

>>26166550
checking for surgical holes in the meat/veggies in case someone injected poison

>>26166508
right but cutting is something that requires calculation. you have to at least get something sharp and a way to clean up if you even remotely want to hide it.

like i said before this isn't a premeditated thing, it's a compulsion and i just don't know how to fight it.

I mindless browse this board 14h+ a day during weekends, mostly of the time without even posting.

>>26166585
There's no need to inject the poison, you can just mix it with the ingredients. Some poisons are lethal in such low doses there's no way you can tell just from using your eyes, not to mention someone could just start a colony of bacteria on your sandwich and you wouldn't know a thing. Even having someone taste it for you isn't foolproof since you can just place it strategically in the middle of the sandwich.

>>26166698
welp, time to make my own sandwiches

>>26166417
>>26166182
Jesus christ I didnt know everybody did all these things.

>>26166852
Well, of course. The "/r9k/ is autistic" meme didn't come into being ex nihilo. Hell, it's largely the reason I can relate to this board.

>>26166874
I guess its just one of those "I cant believe I am not the only one" moments times however many items you listed.

>>26166943
It's weird, but it is nice to have a word like "autism" to encompass all those little idiosyncrasies. Back when I was a kid, I used to just think of the people I sought out as "different" or "weird" or "eccentric" or "quirky" or whatever, but really, I was just looking for stims without a word for that.

i wipe my ass and then sniff/stare at the poo

Sometimes when I go to a store I feel sad for all the products I think nobody would want to buy.

I buy sausage.

>>26164699
I'm not alone....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2sr7dYSD3s

Okay lads here you go:

>walk through a door way or any path, i have to go back the exact same way in in video games
>impulsive thoughts of violence or destruction
>when im in the shower and i pee i cannot allow it to go down the drain between my legs; only around
>scared of point furniture and imagine freak accidents when i get impaled
>when i put a pen or pencil down it cannot face me
>get frustrated when there are loud noises or bright lights.
it goes on

whenever I take a pee, I yell, kill all the fuckin niggers!

I eat chips with a fork

Earlier today I was thinking I was a part of MONARCH/MK ULTRA mind control. A few minutes later I thought "what the fuck". I get thoughts like that all the time
Am I going crazy?