My sister wants me to help financially support her son.
Her stupid boyfriend left her, just like I warned that he would, and now she's stuck with the baby. She wants me to help support her b/c I'm doing fairly well for myself and I'm single, so my living expenses are pretty low. Parents aren't even speaking to her, so that's off the table.
What does /r9k/ think? He's my nephew, my own blood, and he's not black (thank god).
What I would do is offer her a room in your house and tell her to get a job. If she doesn't get a job kick her out. Give her about a month to do it. Then give her a few months to save up for rent then kick them out. That is what I did for my sister. She hasn't spoken to me in 9 years for kicking her out. Not my problem though. If the kid was black I would have never helped though.
What does he look like? What country do you guys live in?
I'd only help her get on her feet. Set a deadline for self-sufficiency - maybe 6 months after he's born. As soon as she should be able to support herself (even by working two dead end jobs), withdraw support. The key here is to not let her become reliant on your support. You have to be strict with that deadline.
she has a job. It's just not a very good one.
It's hard to say b/c there's no way I'd be in her position. A woman can't leave a man with a child, but a man can.
I like the deadline idea, but if I did that I'd at least give her a year
You want the deadline to serve some purpose (eg, for her to get a better job, or two jobs, or whatever). You really really don't want to be this kid's baby daddy for 20 years, which is what will happen if you just let it go on.
The most you should do is provide her with a place to stay, shower and sleep. Set a clear expectation that you want her to find a job and provide for her child on her own and NEVER, NOT ONCE babysit.
Treat her like a roommate, and provide emotional support (as you already seem to be doing) but if she ever feels like a financial burden make it CRYSTAL CLEAR she's slacking.
Most importantly ask her, "What do I get out of it?" and if all she can come up with is some normie explanation for altruism then you can explicitly give her responsibilities and ideas of things she might be able to do for you.
>He's my nephew, my own blood, and he's not black (thank god)
You're obligated to give her some shekels either way, but if he's not a raceless mongrel, maybe be a little more generous than you would otherwise. We need all the healthy, well rounded people we can raise. Maybe show up during the holidays and take the kid fishing.
You aren't responsible for him.
Here's what I think you should do: Be present in his life. Spend money doing things like taking him to the zoo and other activities that will help him out. If you can, get him new shoes and clothes occasionally, and books and stuff since those things are reasonable gifts that will also help his mom out.
Do not give her cash money. If she has a specific need you want to fulfill, do it by going shopping. Do not give her cash.
What I would do
1. Tell her you will take full care of the baby
2. When she gives you the baby throw it away
3. Tell her she can get her baby back after she gives you a million dollars and bj
This is very good advice OP. Do not give the sister cash, and do not let her move in with you.
Just buy stuff the child himself may need, and volunteer your time.
If you give cash, she'll always ask for more. If you let her move in with you, there's no way to kick her out.
Personally, I'd let her move in. Very efficient for families to share residential space. Cuts all your biggest costs in half. Then I'd trust her with money. I'm not going grocery shopping for her. If she abuses that trust, then we have a different story.
If she becomes a problem, the police will remove her and her kid from my house if I really insist on it.