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MY OFFICIAL DECREE OF KING CHAD
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 110
Thread images: 26
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Greetings Robots

My name is Chad Preston, I am chief ambassador of the glorious nation of Brohemia. King Chad has sent me to /r9k/ on a diplomatic mission to re-establish diplomatic ties between Brohemia and the Robot people.

Diplomatic relations between our two nations have been frozen for far too long. We invite your leaders to sit with us, as equals, at the negotiation table. Our goal is to normalize diplomatic relations, establish guidelines for open trade, establish an embass, learn about your unique culture and share our glorious culture with you.

We also greatly desire to develop a joint plan to eliminate the DMZ that separates our two nations. There should be no militaristic tension between our peoples. All we wish for is peace and mutual cooperation.

May Lord Brohammed's blessings be upon you as you consider our invitation. Please respond with questions and your terms in order to convene a meeting between our peoples.

Here is a list of topics we wish to discuss at our first meeting:
1. Exchange rate between GBP and Collared Shirts (CLS).
2. An updated map of your nation. As you can see we are very ignorant of your cities and provinces.
3. Travel visa regulations so that we may begin the flow of tourism.
4. How much do you bench press?
5. T or A?
6. Do you have a few minutes for us to tell you about our lord and savior Brohammed?

As a sign of our peaceful intentions we are also sending you the following gifts:
1. An extra large crate of our finest pornography.
2. A P90X workout Blu-Ray disc.
3. A "husky" portion of protein-rich chicken tendies.
4. Xbone editions of Call of Duty 2016 and John Madden Football 2016.

*Bro Fives*
Chad Preston
>>
>>26154404
I will allow it Chad Preston
>>
>>26154404
We will not stand for your actions. The removal of the demilitarized zone would put our smuggling operations out of business. Those close to your royal family, and various strategic points throughout your nation WILL be destroyed if you do not cease. Stand down now or face our wrath.
>>
I'm not robot or Chad though
in this scenario, I'd probably be growing weed and fruit trees in the DMZ somewhere
>>
>>26154483
We understand that some of your citzenry may be uncomfortable with a rapid normalization in relations. Brohemia admits that our two nations have a troubled history but King Chad has really been working on himself lately and now he tooootally realizes he needs to stop being a douche to other nations.

Our proposal to remove the DMZ would of course be a joint operation; planned and executed by a coalition of leaders and works from both nations.
>>
>>26154455

We welcome your diplomatic leaders to a 5 day peace summit in our capitol city, Brokyo.
>>
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>>26154539
Ah! Diplomatic circle speaking from kingn Chad himself? Hardely comes as a surprise. Brohemia WILL bleed due to your proposal. We will give you a taste of what it would be like for your government and people if you were to make such a mistake.
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>>26154620
Madam, I don't think we have been introduced. Are you the designated ambassador representing /r9k/?
>>
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*spits on Chad ambassador*

FUCK OFF WITH YOUR PATRONIZING BULLSHIT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


UPRISING WHEN FELLOW BOT BRETHREN
>>
This is the hermit kingdom
get out pigdog scum, we don't need brocuculture maligning influence on our glorius isolation
>>
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Normies' back on the menu boys!
RREEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>26154693

SIR! I understand this is an emotional subject for many in the Robot community but I MUST ask you to refrain from insulting the Brohemian ambassador.

* Security, could we please have this... frog(?) escorted to the chill-out tent? *
>>
>>26154693
>>26154620
please don't, the last time you guys REEEd, both sides stole all my weed and cut half my trees down
>>
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>>26154539
Give us Stacey concubines and only THEN will we consider sitting down for talks of peace.
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>>26154658
You could say so, though I am not the official leaders. The decadent, and bourgeoisie government of r9k is too intoxicated by tendies and GBP to act as such. We descend from a group of cyborgs who sought refuge in neither brohemia or r9k. Thus we quickly took over the black market of r9k, the neet's inability to go outside left them ill trained. We quickly gained ground In the counterfeit gbp, rare pepe, and drug markets. De facto we run r9k, our armaments are vast, and the government has not attempted to arrest one of us for over 5 years.
>>
>>26154404

Ambassador Preston,

It behooves us to inquire: after the Chad Nation's long history of insults, wedgies, bookbag thefts, implications about our acne, and characterization of our culture as "stupid anime bullshit for nerds", what sort of reparations do you propose to atone for these crimes against our citizens?
>>
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>>26154715
SIR! The term "Normie" is considered a racial slur in Brohemian culture. I ask you please refrain from its use in the future.
>>
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Just you fucking try it, bro scum.
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>>26154738
WHO YOU CALLING A FROG NORMIE!?
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>>26154738
You think you are in control of these peace talks? You are merely a roach in the eyes of a being much greater than your tiny mind can possibly comprehend. I am at this very moment manipulating this situation so I can bring chaos at any moment I see fit.
>>
I say we kill the normalfag ambassador and send his dick back to the their kindgom as proof we don't want anything to do with them.
>>
>>26154787
Please, disregard the citizenry and answer our inquiries here >>26154786
on reperations if you may good sir.
>>
>>26154693
>>26154715
It would be in our best interest to help you with our cause. Your rage will decimate the normies, given you have the right arnaments. We are sending you mortars, surveillance drones, rifles, pistols and ammo immediately. Free of charge. A sovereign and segregated r9k is in our best interest to promote. King chad wishes to try to open the borders, bring normies in, and incessantly hound you with the normies advise of "bee urself".
>>
>>26154786
A fair question. While we will be the first to admit that we "don't get the point of adult men watching Chinese cartoons" we have come to realize that judgement and torment of others is not a fulfilling life choice. King Chad has taught us the importance of looking inwards and focusing on lifting as a way to improve ourselves.

We regret the violent history between our two nations (although we won't go so far as to call them war crimes).

That being said, as an initial payment of reparations we offer 1 crisp, collared polo shirt to every citizen of the Robot Kingdom. We also offer 1 free copy of Kind Chad's latest workout/pornographic video where you can witness him simultaneously building muscle and bring Stacy to satisfying climax.

We are also under the impression that many in the Robot kingdom are "virgins" (note: our native language has no direct translation for this alien term). To help rectify this we would like to establish a 24/7 phone line from /r9k/ to our largest callcenter (located in Bromalia). For only 7.95 GBP/min you can chat with a local Stacy who is hot and ready for action.

We know this does not erase the past but from this moment forward we hope to only look towards the future.
>>
>>26154900
That offer is insulting to the denizens of r9k. We both know your people have been selling us std free stacies to pimp out. We retain favour with the people due to our 50 gbp an hour flat rate. Our people do not want to see free stacies making 8 gbp for 1 minute of phone time, they want to see enslaved stacy get fucked so hard her socks come off against her will.
>>
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>>26154900
> While we will be the first to admit that we "don't get the point of adult men watching Chinese cartoons"
> Robot kingdom are "virgins" (note: our native language has no direct translation for this alien term)
toppest kek. i shall continue lurking this meeting

please continue, for i am simply a humble jester, a shitposter if you will and i have nothing to teach nor learn
>>
>1. An extra large crate of our finest pornography.
We can only really use magazines and posters, to be honest.
>2. A P90X workout Blu-Ray disc.
We have long since lost the use of any device that could understand this type of physical media, as we do not have any means of acquiring electrical power, as everybody is too NEET to build a power plant.
>3. A "husky" portion of protein-rich chicken tendies.
I didn't hear mention of any sauces to accompany these tendies. The insolence of your government will not be soon forgotten.
>4. Xbone editions of Call of Duty 2016 and John Madden Football 2016.
Again, no power plants. We just have piss.

Do you need a tributary of piss?
>>
Nice thread you got here reddit
>>
>>26154936

Perhaps we can establish a jointly operated "recreation zone" in the border area near Broklahoma.

We will supply a legion of our fittest Stacies who will be available to "entertain" visitors from /r9k/.

Obviously we will need to ask the leaders of /r9k/ to assist with the cost of operations and supply the facility with "extra small" condoms (a hygienic item that does not exist in our country).
>>
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There is no God but God, and Elliot Rodger is his prophet.

Infidels not welcome
>>
>>26154404
Finally OC in this board
>>
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>>26155034
This man has it right.

Praise be to Elliot.
>>
>>26154404
>tfw there's actually a nation called Chad.
>tfw American public school educated frogposter don't know where it is
>or that it's populated with niggers.
>>
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>mfw smuggling stacies out of Brohio and into Wojaksonville

Fuck you Chad, you created this so deal with it. As we say in Wojaksonville "bless this mess"
>>
>>26154848
HEAR, HEAR!
>>26154861
We accept your offer and we appreciate your recognition of the dangers that follow an influx of Normies and their detrimental nature, both of our nations would suffer from such an invasion.
>>
>>26155057
>Wojaksonville


Public education is not very good in Brohemia. Is Wojaksonville the capitol city of /r9k/?

...also where is it on the map?
>>
>>26155088
The capital city of /r9k/ is Isla Vista, named after the holy city of the martyrdom of theProphet (pbuh)
>>
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>>26154404
How can we possibly trust the chads or the bros? I cannot think of a single thing a chad would want from a robot: no lesson, no knowledge nor friendship. Simply put and commonly understood, we have nothing to offer you. The chads have already mastered the only lesson in life worth learning: how to enjoy the meager time you have on this earth - something a robot seems incapable of learning, so i am left wondering, what could you possibly want from us?

Tell us what you wish to gain, else we have no option but to consider this and any action going forward a probable trojan horse.
>>
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>>26154404
>2. An updated map of your nation. As you can see we are very ignorant of your cities and provinces.

Done
>>
>>26155088
It's one of our larger towns, and a major producer of dank memes. In terms of your map, it's along the same parallel as Brohio, on the eastern coast of our section of the continent.

Have a good one, Ambassador!
However, you are a filthy normie, so you should kill yourself REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
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>>26155127
MYfag reporting in

MY city best city
>>
((This is one of the best threads to ever grace this board. Peace, brothers.))

Leader of the Robot NatSoc Party here. If we come into power, we promise that if our borders are so much as BREATHED on by your heathenous untermensch slime, our armies will be forces to annihilate your capitol. We are a Nuclear Armed country. Beware, Ambassador. The clock's ticking.
>>
>>26155172
There are only untermensch here. Leave desu senpai
>>
>>26155161
>MY
>Not being black
Pick one

Board master race
>>
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>>26155113

Is this map correct? If you are uncomfortable with holding peace talks in Brokyo perhaps we can meet in Wojacksonville.
>>
>>26155150
You're under arrest, citizen. Revealing geographical information to the enemy.

Prepare to meet your waifu.
>>
>no broome

one fucking job
>>
>>26155127
Bromalia belongs to the nords
>>
>>26155217
Since Brohemia supposedly has weapons of ass destruction that information is not to be disclosed.
>>
>>26154404
WE DEMAND THE CITY OF BROKYo AND ALL THE SLANT EYED STACIES THAT LIVE WITHIN REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
In return i will play you a song of my people
https://youtu.be/rlbRZjp_nbo?t=19m42s
>>
>>26155214
Fucking niggers are what is ruining this city, with your street culture and shit. Before you this was a quiet and enjoyable city only with the sound of cars and occasional steps, now its all music and laughter and ruckus everywhere

I regret ever voting for Pepe
>>
>>26155261
Pepe was the best thing to happen to this country and you know it

Frail-Snail 2016
>>
I do not believe that there will ever be peace between our great nation, and the kingdom of chad.

You may leave the tendies on the west side of the DMZ, though.
>>
You have within the hour to leave the country, with all of your shekels, and the tendies, or else my warships will blow Mt. Gains into nothing but ASH.

Desu senpai motherfucker!
>>
>>26154404
Robot Kingdom should be either barren, arid desert or a cracked, melting glacier.
>>
>>26155412
It should be one giant chicken farm.
>>
>>26155448
Nation comprised only of NEET. All physical labor is handled by robots.
>>
>>26154404

> Be me, King Chad.
> Live a dope life, do dope shit.
> Feelsgoodman.frog
> Sad because I look across the water and see a nation of people not happy like me.
> Try sending them workout videos and protein rich snacks.
> Don't get positive response.
> Try to introduce them to some of Stacy's friends.
> They just drop spaghetti everywhere.
> Want them to feel the loving embrace of Brohammed and also start hitting the gym at least 5 times per week.
> Don't know what to do.

> SEVERAL HOURS LATER

> Meet cutie asian chick who says she is into animoos(?)
> Don't know what that is but want to bang her.
> Can't talk my way into her pants because I don't know about the magical samurai cat woman in her cartoons.
> Need to consult an expert.
> idea.jpg
> ESTABLISH DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH THE ROBOT KINGDOM.
>>
how would people in the robot nation procreate?

if we actually had grills to copulate with, we wouldn't be a robot nation anymore.
>>
>>26155625
How is any NEET created?
>>
>>26155515
>All physical labor is handled by robots.
Nah. The BETA federation of islands is just south of Brohemia. They send aid and supplies to the robot kingdom because they think it'll make them look better to Brohemia.
>>
>>26155520
Aha! Now you've shown your true colors! Tell us who this asian is or I'll cut your cock off.
>>
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>>26155338
GONDOLA WOULD HAVE BEEN TWICE THE PRESIDENT THAT PEPE WAS. With Gondola atleast you knew you weren't getting a LIAR.


fuck that commie FS
>>
>>26155648

i see your point. all of the robots would be refugees, expelled from brohemia (or any other country) because of being too autistic.
>>
>>26154752
Where are the trains you fucking impostor
>>
>>26155709

And so it was decided. On this historic day a meeting convened in the Robot city of Wojacksonville.

King Chad of Brohemia sent his top advisers and ambassadors to meet with representatives of the PEPE government. The air was electric with both tension and optimism.

As a sign of friendship the PEPE government ambassador opened the ceremony with the unveiling of a recently discovered pre-civilization PEPE drawing. It was scrawled on a cave wall in the southern /r9k/ wastelands.

The Brohemian ambassadors also brought gifts of Mtn Dew and slow-cooked Chicken Tendies.

Following a brief striptease by the All-Brohemian Woman's Dance crew the serious negotiations began...
>>
I wonder what our artillery looks like. All I can imagine is 20 manlets launching piss jugs with a large rubber band.
>>
>southern desert wilderness with nothing but the occasional wooden shack, housing the NEETs connected by power lines.
That sounds like the best place to live.
>>
>>26155847
Due to recent equality laws, 20% of the robot workforce must be comprised of dicklets.
>>
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>>26154404
my autistic analysis of the situation
>>
>>26155847

it definitely looks like that, but our piss is like concentrated hydrochloric acid because of our shitty diet.

>tfw your piss burns a hole thru your bladder
>>
>>26155964
Brohemia accepts the borders as drawn by the autistic adviser representing the PEPE government.

We also request the immediate establishment of a two lane motorway and rail line between the cities of Wojacksonville and Broklahoma. A border crossing must be established along the line of demarcation. The crossing needs to permit rapid inspection and trade for goods flowing between the two cities.

Lastly we request access to the seaport in Wojacksonville so we may establish ocean based trade routes.

Is this proposal acceptable?
>>
>dealing with chads

the Monroe-bot doctrine applied here implies that we shouldn't be involved with them at all in any capacity

normies go home
>>
This doesn't make any sense at all.

Chad nation doesn't negotiate or engage in diplomacy. Brohemia would just take land and shove robots off it. They would just casually push robots aside and take the land.
>>
>>26154404
>broklahoma
I fucking died
>>
Someone has to make a mount and blade warband mod about this.
>>
>>26156210
Wouldn't work. If you wanted to play as robot kingdom AND have an army then you would have to recruit from brohemian villages.
>>
>>26154404

I feel as though I speak for most fembots when I say that we welcome any chance at a normalization of relations with Brohemia, we would welcome any and all muscular men to come to our country to be our BF, on a personal note ambassador do you currently have a gf?
>>
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>>26155779
I have a few narrow gauge lines built through my fields
but when the REEEEhadists come here, they rip up the tracks
seriously considering starting a cyborg revolution for control of the DMZ
>>
>>26156327
fuck off roastie stacy
>>
>>26156327

if fembots want chad bfs, you are free to go across the border, but we'll never let the muscular alpha scum enter our sacred land.
>>
>>26156427
sorry, should be the REEEhadists AND the Chadsaders
>>
'Suo, nerds.

On behalf of the Communist Helot Army of Defense (CHAD) I release this ultimatum to the Robot Kingdom: stand down your armies, surrender your weapons, prepare for mad gains, and do our homework, or we will launch crippling terror strikes against your Chinese cartoon servers. You have one hour to comply before we unleash your full stockpile of our pictures taken with girlfriends while lifting.

All power to the Broletariat!

-Chadimir Lenin
>>
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> MANY MONTHS LATER

Following the successful Wojacksonville peace summit, diplomatic relations between The Robot Kingdom and Brohemia were established.

With the help of bomb-sniffing autists the DMZ was cleared or ordinance and a wall of demarcation was built in its place.

Checkpoint "BroBot" was built at the midpoint between Wojacksonville and Broklahoma to enable the flow of goods between the two nations.

The Robots helped build a high speed rail line between the two cities (none of that narrow gauge, Thomas the Tank Engine bullshit) and shortly thereafter a two lane highway was opened.

Emmigration was opened up for fembots wishing to move to Brohemia (though the number of annual visas was initially set at a paltry 500).

Dank memes and rare Pepes began flowing into Brohemia at an unprecedented rate...
>>
>>26156327
>fembots are filthy racemixers
Makes sense.
>>
>>26156778

Unfortunately, parties on both sides of the new border were unhappy with the new status quo.

The Broletariat terrorist organization dared to call Queen Stacy a "skanky 4/10" and threatened to beat and rape freshly emigrated fembots.

In /r9k/ the REEEhadists began plotting sabotage efforts designed to disrupt the Wojacksonville-Broklahoma friendship highway.
>>
A personal meeting between the leader of Brohemia and President Elliot Roger of Robot Land should be the most effective.
>>
>>26156778
can I keep my pot farm and orchards on the border?
>>
>>26156972
Believe it or not, Brohemia imports dank weed at an even greater rate than it imports dank memes.

Kind Chad has even been known to publicly smoke Robo-Kush.
>>
>>26154404
>implying this isn't just a ploy for you to get your filthy hands on our fembot sex slaves
>>
>>26157029
I'd probably have mostly Cyborg Haze and Autist Orange
>>
>>26156778
The Brohemians wish to establish an embassy in the Robot capitol. Will the safety of our diplomats be insured by the PEPE government?
>>
>>26157470
> Lame Brocalist Chad saying "Proletariat" and not "Broletariat."

Looks like you skipped linguists as frequently as you skipped leg day.
>>
Attention, nerds:

On behalf of the Central Chadmittee of the Communist Helot Army of Defence, and the Chadman Chadimir Lenin, I, Bully Squad Captain Lev Davidovich Brostein, declare war on all parties. The time has come to overthrow both the Robot Kingdom, whose fapitalist ways hoard the good porn, and the Brohemian government, which is corrupt and becoming flabby. We urge all to rally to the banner of CHAD to establish a Union of Soviet Brocialist Republics, expunging the betas by force and restoring a just social hierarchy. There is no room for compromise, senpai. Fuckboys of the world, unite! All power to the Broletariat!

Comrade Broseph Stalin will begin the revolution in Brokyo, while I, Brostein, will personally assault the WinRAR Palace and execute this President Rogers. He will be hanged from a goalpost. We offer a temporary alliance with the REEhadists against our common foes, and will combine cyberbullying with tripping people in hallways for the sublime military might.

Forwards!
>>
>>26154783
Shut the fuck up, whore!

Send us crates of Stacies, and we will make self-aware bench press robots for you.
>>
>>26157549

Why should we spell when we can bench press?
>>
The PEPE government and King Chad are considering a face-to-face meeting in Brosaka during Super Bowl Weekend...

It sure would be a shame if some mischief happened...
>>
>>26156849
Roboton Rouge has sent a delegation to the border, so as to ease the tensions that have risen out of this freshly formed and fragile alliance. In agreement with the PEPE government, the Independant City of Roboton Rouge proposes to send the Piss Corps of Roboton Rouge to the rescue of the Wojacksonville-Broklahoma friendship highway, as a means to restore order and guarantee security to both parties.
>>
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>>26154404
>role play thread
Fuck off normies if you want to role play fuck off to /x/ or /s4s/ Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>
>>26154404
chads aren't allowed to have autism, so you aren't a chad

sorry "bro"
>>
>Could a face-to-face meeting be arranged in his Majesty's own country?

>Will there be cake?

>Proposing a Bro's-night-out for the sake of
bonding, alcohol, being each others cordial wingman, et cetera.

Hope to hear from you. In the mean time I'll do what I can to 'mind-the-gap- through this dark, uncharted DMZ territory.

Wishing his Majesty and his kingdom all the best
for his inquisition represents great humility. Saluut
>>
>>26154404
So are you related to the King Black Chad at all?
>>
I am neither a robot nor a Chad. I was expelled from my home in a village near Mt. Gains and forced to walk the Trail of Beers to The Robot Kingdom following the Cyborg Refugee Crisis.

I condemn this treaty. The Chads slaughtered my people and forced us from our homes. I would rather die.
>>
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I, Provost for Multicultural diversity and Enrichment would like to call to attention to the leaders of both Brohemia and the Robot Kingdom of the bountiful minorities of Cyborgs situated on both sides of the island.

Tensions between the Cyborgs and the majority populace of both region have steadily increased every since the war. Cyborgs do not feel say on either side, and I as their representative would like to petition Brohemia for the possibility of seceding one of their islands as a safe haven for the Cyborgs?

They have long been discriminated against by both Robots and Chads, and need a place to go.

Hath mercy on us, and may both the holy Prophets Elliot Roger and Brohammed be with you.
>>
File: SweetMapBroheim.png (845 KB, 834x832) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
SweetMapBroheim.png
845 KB, 834x832
>>26161080
>>26156778
Ah! My apologies to all. Our nation is rather under developed so it was to no surprise that we accidentally used outdated maps.

May both Elliot and Brohammed forgive us. Shalom!
>>
What is the requirement for citizenship in Brohemia?
>>
>>26154900
>We also offer 1 free copy of Kind Chad's latest workout/pornographic video where you can witness him simultaneously building muscle and bring Stacy to satisfying climax.

WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO MOCK US

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
REEEEEEEEEEE
SCREEEEEEEEEEEE
GET OUT NORMIE CHAD SCUM REEEEE
REEEEEEEE
>>
File: lemongrab.jpg (35 KB, 500x460) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
lemongrab.jpg
35 KB, 500x460
>>26156094
hmm, acceptable
>>
I want to defect.
FOR THE LOVE OF REEE TAKE ME WITH YOU I CANT STAND THESE ROBOTS ANYMORE!
>>
I don't like either sides. Kill yourself human trash.
We, the Ayylmaos will prevail
Thread replies: 110
Thread images: 26
Thread DB ID: 480073



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