>not actually attempting to give a shit when I my parents paid for my first semester of college, failed half the classes >running off to a big city with a childhood friend would later left me homeless >returning to my shit hometown to work horrible night shift hours as a dishwasher most of all: >When I was 17, had this 14 year old girl crush on me hard, I took her virginity, her parents found out and grounded her and told me they would probably press charges if I tried to contact her again. Them being devout christians and me being a fedora owning atheist at the time probably didn't help matters. If I could go back, I would probably go to church and try to convince them that I was a decent kid and wanted to marry her. Maybe then I would have gotten some in the last 4 years.
I don't have long term regrets because I've always tried my best to live in the moment as much as I can, but I do express temporary regrets.
I'm pretty much a normalfag all things considered, I used to be a very awkward loser when I started posting here, but I'm sorting my shit out. Last night it was one of my friend's birthday and we went out to a rock/metal bar we always used to go to, my friend's gf brought two of her friends with her and one was really into me.
Like, really obviously into me, grinding on the dick, lots of touching and complimenting.
I did fucking nothing because I just stood there like an idiot asking myself "what the fuck should I do?" and one girl left with some stupid asshole she had already known who was there that night and the other girl ended up with my other friend who got cheated on and is now looking for an emotional band-aid. MY friend's girlfriend did tell me "Dude if you're looking for long term, don't go with her, she's looking for dick."
And I mean, that's true, I'm not the one night type of guy, but fucking Jesus Christ I feel stupid for not doing anything.
Say whatever you want after reading this story. I know that most of you think I don't belong here because I'm not using my autism money to buy body pillows, but regardless of what you think of me, I still feel like a fucking stupid ass loser right now because I can't even get laid when the girl is throwing herself on me.
What the fuck is wrong with me? What the fuck am I scared of?
>be me just turned 20 >3.8 gpa taking graduate level geophysics classes while minoring in math >girlfriend you really like but want more, maybe you eventually realize you loved her but don't know that yet you asshole >have troubling childhood but remaining nuclear family grows close >have several friend groups >childhood friends have been party spectrum since high school but you have been straight edge excluding booze >start fucking around, weed is whatever, start doing pills (thankfully only occasionally), along with shrooms and acid, and every month or two rocking coke all night. >dump girl >stop attending classes >stop having romantic relationships even just sex >lose several friend groups >damage relationship with family >accumulate debt through a year and a half of "going to school" still actually attend select classes like chemical mineralogy and partial diff eq because great interest especially while inebriated >eventually put on academic hold due to a semesters worth of overdue tuition >truck on for a while but hit rock bottom
Now 26 good shape, handsome, tall. I work a surprisingly decent paying blue collar job, paid back overdue tuition and pay my student loans and other obligations monthly and save up tons of money. Live alone in a small house I rent.
Only 3 friends I see with regularity since I lost all my other friends by choosing party lifestyle then all my party friends all got arrested, became tweakers, died, or moved away. Single. Lonely. Damaged family relationship now. Drinking problem but no more harder drugs not even weed. Finally feel like I can breathe easy after feeling strangled after dropping out of school and getting fired from my 30 hour a week borderline min wage job.
Still feel so lonely, sad, unhappy, unrealized, over the manner in which I threw away my true goals and friends in the name of fun and drugs and partying. I feel like due to my shy lifestyle in high school I felt compelled to push the boundaries in college.
>>26154349 Having two one night stands, one in July and then one in September right before I turned 22. I feel like it dirtied my sex record because now it counts as three guys. 21 years old was a hell of an age for me.
>first guy was my old high school crush who I haven't seen in half a decade He couldn't get it up so he just plowed me with a flaccid penis, does that even count if it couldn't go in? He can't get hard unless he erotically strangles and slaps the girl; I kept saying stop so he stayed soft. Always wanted to have sex with him, and it was a huge disappointment
>second guy I dated for a month, then dumps me to the curb the day after sex It was the most passionate sex I had in a long time, but his dick was painfully huge and he was missing a testicle for some reason. Just an empty sagging scrotum. his ass and back of his thighs is numb from a motorcycle accident so he accidentally shits his pants on rare occasions.
The non-one night stand was my first guy, my boyfriend of three years. I'm trying to date a cute Christian guy, but I'm afraid he won't date me because I'm not a virgin/had some sexual partners. I learned my lesson and haven't had sex with any dates since then.
>>26157090 Three guys for age 22 isn't THAT bad desu senpai. As long as you don't portray yourself as a whore (dress slutty, act slutty, etc) you'll be fine. If he won't date you because of that, then he's not worth it.
There's nothing wrong with having casual sex and one night stands. Don't let this board and society in general slut shame you. To me a slut is a girl who doesn't care about hurting people to get her sex and who sleeps around a lot, but will never acknowledge the consequences of her actions.
As long as you know what you want, is willing to deal with the consequences of choosing this or that guy for your sex and that you are conscious of your partner's feelings before you get banged, I don't think sleeping around is bad at all for guys or girls.
It's funny because I'm the guy who couldn't do shit when a girl tried to fuck me yesterday and I'm the one telling you this shit, but I really think slut shaming is retarded and that the definition of a slut has become too broad over the years. Now it's just a girl who have a lot of sex with different guys. But there is a way to be responsible in your sleeping around habits so don't sweat it too much.
>>26156036 I've been there before. Hung out with a bunch of friends one night, including some I didn't know as well. This one girl was hanging on me for most of the night, and it was so obvious that the other guys started talking me up so she would want me even more. I was SO uninterested in her, though. I left feeling like a loser, but looking back 6 years now, I don't regret the decision. She wasn't that good-looking and I never got along well with her. It would have been an uncomfortable and anxious evening.
Plus I got laid like 2 months after in a situation I was much more comfortable with.
My point is, there will be girls who throw themselves at you in whom you will not be interested. That's ok. You don't have to fuck every girl who wants you.
>refuse to let him do what needs to get hard and fuck the shit out you
>he's somehow the disappointment in this scenario
>>second guy I dated for a month, then dumps me to the curb the day after sex
> his dick was painfully huge and he was missing a testicle for some reason. Just an empty sagging scrotum. his ass and back of his thighs is numb from a motorcycle accident so he accidentally shits his pants on rare occasions.
It's all this perfect mix of what the fuck am I reading.
Anyway you gave your sex for basically nothing so that's what it's worth now.
Never seeking help for my anxiety. It's been there ever since my early teens, and it weighs heavier in making decisions than my own will. I've never dared to do anything other than sitting at home, each day, each weekend, each month. My parents always had this huge pressure on me that I should succeed. Both my siblings are problem child's who've always made a scene of everything and refused to go to school -- I got praised for what's essentially "well at least you're normal;" I didn't want to disappoint my parents by having them realize all of their children were social fuckups. Good job me! I sure played them like fiddles, and now they think I'm some gumptious entrepreneur working his way up a career, with his whole life in front of him. I'm not. I'm suicidal and afraid of everything, and at this pace I'll probably fall into substance abuse. I wasted my teens with justifying my anxiety using denial; I wasted my early 20's with depression; now I've proceeded to waste my mid 20's with drugs & alcohol.
>>26157599 So? You can only have sex with a future spouse and still have a failed marriage. You could also be a former hooker and still having a loving marriage. Three is probably the average for her age, if it was like 7 then there would be a problem.
>joined the army and promised my grandma I'd call her and write her >didn't make the slightest attempt at contact until a year later my mom told me she died of Alzheimer's >when she couldn't even recognize her own daughter, she would still ask how her only grandson is doing
>gf cheated on me so I stayed in a hotel with a trans hooker for two days straight smoking crack eating xanax and crying
>blew 12,000 USD my grandma left me
>try to an hero twice over an internet gf I never even met
>incestuous relationship with my sisters for years
>trying to an hero twice and being discharged under other than honorable with no benefits bc crazy
>>26157463 Nah it wasn't for nothing, I still got a positive experience out of it. I finally had sex with a guy I really wanted to have sex with in high school, even if it wasn't what I thought it was.
With the other guy it was still passionate sex. I thought about it long and hard for a while, so it was a decision I was ready to make.
>>26154349 >age 11 >was always a geeky little kid into books and imagination games >transfer to new school >know there are a couple friends from elementary school there >one cool kid approaches me after class >invites me to hang out with him and his friends from now on >end up going to hang out with my old friends again >got into /tg/ shit, vidya, heavy metal, and fantasy stuff >the kid who invited me was really popular >a couple weeks later i realize my mistake >consider going back to hang out with him >pussy out and stay with loser friends >in highschool that kid became even more popular >threw parties >lots of girls >today a successful guy >none of my friends went to college, we all just graduated and retreated into our fantasy bubble, got into SCA, survivalism, metal bands or other geeky, solitary, or loser shit
That was it. The moment where everything could have turned out differently. That was the moment, and I blew it.
>>26154349 LA loser here. Once, at a party, I had the chance to fuck a famous teen tv star. She was drunk as hell, but I was a perfect gentleman and didn't take advantage of her. I still regret it. Seriously, seriously...
>>26158206 Yea but what are those experiences worth? It's not interesting enough to write about, not useful enough to have benefitted me in any way and if anything has only damaged my ability to function or somehow turn all that into wisdom or point of reference to improve my life. I've tried "doing the right thing". I went through cognitive behavioral therapy, did breathing exercises, took meds, used coping skills and anchor points. I think the problem is I'm surrounded by shitty, worthless people leading equally worthless, empty lives and most people really just don't care about each other or what they do to each other anymore and I can't handle that in my day to day life. I generally try to avoid people.
Probably becoming a stoner, I went from being a pretty smart and popular guy to being a literal retard. I think I had a stroke or something once as I felt one side of my face/brain go numb and feel very cold, after that day I can barely string a sentence together.
Being a total fucking beta in middle school. I actually had a lot of friends, if I would've bothered to work out a little and not get pushed around I could've easily gotten a good looking gf and maybe even saved myself an eternity of being stuck here.
Got really into high fantasy as a kid and completely shifted my mental goalposts in life. Years wasted waiting for my destiny to just materialise in front of me.
I was convinced I was the hero of a story that hadn't started yet. I was confident, proud and doing well in sport, academia and music, but I could never shake this feeling that I was just waiting for something.
Also you never read about the great hero of our time going to clubs and banging sluts on their journey so I completely ignored grills (still kv).
I hit 20 or so and realised that no destiny will ever come to me and I have absolutely no world experience because I never tried anything that I didn't think would be a main storyline.
This all reminds me of a spiderman/wolverine comic where spiderman asks him why he gets in so many unnecessary fights and he replies with "you fight the fights that don't matter so you are ready for the ones that do".
>>26154349 >Asking that pure virginal girl She ended up cheating one year into our relationship, end up learning about it two years later >Not leaving the other girl for the slutty girl Who after three years have not cheated on her boyfriend
>>26164216 same >beat self up on a daily basis for past regrets/social fuck ups >feel massive amounts of anxiety >act tense and nervous >people sense I am tense and nervous for no reason >treat me strangely >feel massive amounts of anxiety >act tense and nervous >fuck things up/bail because what's the fucking point, I've fucked it all up anyway >realize things weren't actually that bad until I deliberately sabotaged myself >feel massive amounts of regret.
I could say not staying in school, but it was terrible and I can't say I regret not going. If I had gone on to uni I would have started a degree in psychology and I only recently learned that's a bad idea. I regret doing nothing for the last four years, kinda.
>>26154349 I met a 8/10 cute blonde girl at one houseparty. We even had sex and i started act cocky... when she texted me that she wants to see me again i just didn't go and was playing video games instead that day... I know you can't imagine it like me becouse you don't know the whole story but i am telling you she was the ONE...
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