Accidentally Falling Asleep After a Night Watching Anime With the Lads Edition
>wake to the sound of church bells in the distance
>deus vult internally while peering out of my blinds
>see 2 angry looking pakis
today is going to be a nice day lads
Just had 3 hours kip after a nightshift. Gonna visit parents because fuck it.
Hows your day going britbros?
Also, tossed out a 12 year old at 4am for causing shit. Who lets their 12 year old out at 4 in the morning and why the fuck do they come to maccas to ruin my night?
>snuggling in bed with you're waifu on a Sunday morning
Why can't this feel be real lads?
>tfw your room always stays cold as fuck during the winter and is always way too hot in the summer
This fucking SUCKS. Everyone else in the house complains when I turn on the heating because it's so hot everywhere else.
Sat here wrapped in my blanket
>no wolf goddess gf to cuddle with as she wraps her unthinkably soft tail around you
wow this is a pretty bad feel
I want to cuddle it senpai
imagine how amazing it would feel
but you cant imagine it, its simply too good
>tfw last time I tried to stay awake all night and then sleep earlier I still couldn't do it and got only like 3-4 hours the next night, finally resorting to sleeping tablets
just fuck my sleeping pattern up senpai
Lads I think I found the ultimate NEETsmug:
he spent 2 years doing complicated mathematics and trial and error and planning to build the largest and most terrifying possible city in Simcity 3000
>Every person living in Magnasanti spends his life working and residing in one small, massively efficient block of space, until death around age 50
>Sims don't need to travel long distances, because their workplace is just within walking distance. In Fact they do not even need to leave their own block. Wherever they go it's like going to the same place.
>There are a lot of other problems in the city hidden under the illusion of order and greatness: suffocating air pollution, high unemployment, no fire stations, schools, or hospitals, a regimented lifestyle, this is the price that these sims pay for living in the city with the highest population. It's a sick and twisted goal to strive towards. The ironic thing about it is the sims in Magnasanti tolerate it. They don't rebel, or cause revolutions and social chaos. No one considers challenging the system by physical means since a hyper-efficient police state keeps them in line. They have all been successfully dumbed down, sickened with poor health, enslaved and mind-controlled just enough to keep this system going for thousands of years. 50,000 years to be exact. They are all imprisoned in space and time.
Lads, I'm currently drinking an expensive 'make home coffee', shitposting on chan while my gf sleeps next to me in my queen sized bed. This is my Sunday morning.
Do you think this will make you feel better? It won't. You will always feel cold and hallow, this is your life as a robot
>expensive 'make home coffee'
What does this even mean?
>Do you think this will make you feel better? It won't. You will always feel cold and hallow, this is your life as a robot
i feel fucking awesome every day because I'm autistic.
One of these fucking things I bought because I'm consumerist scum
Decent coffee though
>cancerlevels through the fucking roof again even though i merely ate a fucking banana and an apple and injected 8U of fast acting insulin for it
gonna snort some methamphetamine and then do a couple max heart rate sprint, hope i die desu
Anyone else think Raoul Moat will go into Celebrity Big Brother in the future when we run out of celebrities?
>you might need someone to help straightening the back of your neck cos you will look like a spaz if your hairline is too high up or slanted.
Fuck why is life so hard?
I suppose I can use a webcam to look at the back of my head and cut my hair sitting at my computer.
Whats the Plans today lads?
Gotta run into town today and get some stuff, Fuck I wish I was a NEET again. Parents will kick me out if I don't continue being a wagecuck. For once theyre legit proud
That's fucked up, you get about the same amount as me after taxes and I just sit on my arse all day playing video games and collecting autismbux.
Still feeling a bit ill from last night
They even want a fucking mosque inside thorpe park lmao
got back from a club in Brighton the a couple days ago, was pretty good as it was my first time. We stayed there until 7 in the morning which was closing time
are you insinuating that i am in fact gay because I was in Brighton????
And maybe if I wanted to, I was too busy having a good time along with the good atmosphere. No bad vibes :^)
Told my friend I love him and want to marry him while drunk last night lads
Not sure what that says about me probably nothing important hahaha
The only reason to go to club seems to be to try and pick someone up. I imagine in Brighton they are defato homoclubs and the only reason to specifically go to Brighton for a nightclub is for homoness
it means u wan wan is benis :DDDDDDDD
well y-yeah but i took some drugs and danced all night which was my main goal for the evening. And I didn't really see any homoses around, they have their own specific clubs i think!
>Work in whitechapel
Terry Wogan's Snuffed It edition
Serves him right for what he did to David Icke
>about to light a joint
>friend comes to me to talk about some really important stuff in his life
>don't want to smoke this why having to stop and type as well as ruining high trying to help with problems
>want to smoke weed
fuck off normalshit. that fucking sentence doesn't even make sense.
>don't want to smoke this why having to stop and type as well as ruining high trying to help with problems
fucking dumbass pothead.
>tfw you have barely any pictures of your waifu on your phone and don't have one to accurately represent tf
Nongshim noodles are a bit too spicy for me lads. Sweating like fuck tbqh
Waifu has been posted~
Looks like another day of ignoring hunger pains desu~
OFFICIAL /BRITFEEL/ POLL
OFFICIAL /BRITFEEL/ POLL
Just booked my driving test again. Is there anyway for me to take someone else's appointment who has cancelled?
If not I'll have to wait until the middle of fucking April but I'm ready now!
Also, what are the chances of getting the same tester. Bitch failed me last time and I only got 3 minors.
NIGGA NO PIT
BLOW DAT PURPLE NEGER HIGH LIKE FACKEN MARTIANS WOAAAH
Can't believe that January is almost over lads.
This is the most numb to time i've ever been, I feel like there's been no progression so far
Book your test for a Friday morning if you can that is when they will be in the best mood.
I did and passed with no minors even though at one point I tried to pull away in third.
He didn't make me parallel park or anything hard.
Mum's making us sit at the table for Sunday lunch again. No I don't want to sit there while everyone makes awkward small talk, no one but her wants to do this everyone else just want to eat alone in peace.
WHO /BANGIN TUNES/ AND /GOIN FAST/ HERE?
ME MATE OI E OI U FAKIN BELTA
I failed one of my driving test with one major and no minors
He said that he didn't see my check my mirrors when leaving a roundabout, he said he saw me do it when I was on it and as I was moving but not when I started to pull off. If a suicidal cyclist was going at 100mph and tried to undertake me I could have hit him. I remember checking when I was leaving the roundabout so it was a complete fabrication. Also I believe it should have been a minor too.
>tfw a girl in school passed her test first time despite hitting someone crossing the road
>tfw another girl passed despite stalling 3 times
I think it highly depends on the instructor as a person and their current mood, which is so fucking wrong.
I also heard that they only let so many people pass per week, but I don't know if I believe that.
>mfw I got back to the test centre, got told I failed and saw some fat, ugly, landwhale jumping up and down because she passed
come on mate post 1
Not him but caffeine doesn't really seem to affect me. I bought some caffeine pills (200mg iirc) once and stopped using them because they didn't make me feel more awake or stimulate my brain, they just made me anxious and I would chew my nails like fuck.
In a morning it takes me like 2 hours to wake up. I drink my coffee strong and sweet and it doesn't do a fucking thing.
>he doesn't know what going fast means
you probably never went fast in the first place m8
the first ones i received had a rattling in the right cup which was even present when i merely tapped them while nothing was playing, i already feared that all dat niggabass shook something apart but the replacement unit i received does not show this problem.
thinking about getting an open pair too for muh soundstage. didn't get one in the first place because they lack neutral bass response (mostly fall off at sub bass). yes i know the M50x are boosted but i still like it.
>dat deep niggabass
>hadn't pooped for 2 days because I always need to poo at night and don't want to wake people up
>bang a poo last night
>there was bright red in it
>panicking I've got cancer
>panicking if I got the doctor they're gonna finger me
I can't cope with this, guess I'll have to ring the doctor on Monday though
yeah, chances are its either some shit which isnt pure caffeine or its fake. seriously you wouldnt believe how much fake shit there is on amazon, even when it says that it's sold AND fullfilled by amazon it can be fake.
just go to the pharmacy and say you want caffeine pills.
It does blow my mind that so many women manage to pass their test, as someone who drives about 100 miles on the motorway every day, women are fucking dangerous.
Especially the tarty looking housewives in their husband's BMW/Merc/Audi who seem to do 90 in the outside lane all the way to wherever they're going.
I thought the stats showed they get into more accidents but they're small bumps and scrapes but when men get into accidents someone dies.
It's not surprising if you're behind a woman who'll wait at a junction for 10 minutes before it's completely clear.
Does that account for how men drive more often?
and that accidents can be caused by someone not actually involved in the collision, this happens all the time but because of insurance companies etc. one of the drivers in the collision is always blamed
>2nd driving test in a couple weeks
>worried about failing the eyesight test
>worried about manouvres
>money is getting scarce
>instructor can only do 1 lesson per week
Fucking hell, I went through school and college without ever stressing about an exam but it comes to this and I'm bricking it
maybe because they drive less risky but i can also observe what he said. it's quite egoistic driving slow as fuck on the outside lane forever though. either speed up or move back to the inner lane to let others pass. that's quite "dumb driving". it might not be dangerous but it's inconsiderate and annoys other drivers.
also I'd like to see the statistics, can you actually link to one to backup your claim?
yeah because they drive less. you would have to check how many accidents per hour per head women do compared to men to do a fair comparsion.
>being this mad that you make a new paragraph for each word
calm your tits, if you make claims or talk about studies/statistics then you gotta link to those, did you even go to school at all?
but it does. if you'd make a woman drive like a man where it is likely to cause them to crash then the women would be more likely to crash. it's just that women don't drive like that to begin with while men do.
Women generally have better social skills than men, can see colours better and have a wider field of vision
Men are like the testing ground for evolution too which is why they are more likely to take risks and why there are more extremely dumb/intelligent men than there are extremely dumb/intelligent women
Whether you like it or not we are animals, men are usually hunter/gatherers and women are the ones who look after shit and their better colour vision helps when picking shit like berries
That's also why human women don't die after they become infertile as grandmothers are an important part of the family, males stay fertile pretty much all their lives
>1.Female-to-female crashes tend to be overrepresented.
>2. Male-to-male crashes tend to be underrepresented.
>3. The frequencies of male-to-female and female-to-male crashes tend to be close to the expected frequencies
>60.2 percent of the distance driven was performed by male drivers and 39.8 percent by female drivers.
Its simply a matter of how women drive less but less safely. Again I am still looking for a study which takes into account for external cause of crashes
He means driving in difficult circumstances
That's how nature works, that's why men's vision is different to women's etc
It doesn't mean men > women, it just means each gender will generally do certain things better than the other on average
Nice ad hominem, I also fail to see how any thing I've said is sexist etc. Everything I've said is pretty much a fact, like I said before, it also doesn't mean one gender is superior to the other
Lel this is always the go to insult for women, anyone remember those uni lads chanting shit about shagging women on the bus and that one woman who could only stutter "V-v-virgins" in response while they all laughed.
Don't expect to reason with women, just remember times where your mum went off on one about the smallest things and wouldn't shut up about it for hours even if you've already forgotten.
That's just what they do.
This, can anyone actually imagine a woman sitting at her computer and keeping this up? I think even those tumblr nutters can't keep going for more than 10 mins before going off in a huff.
>Messing up a copy pasted quote
There we go, it's just some bloke.
>take the money
>hand in the wallet to lost'n'found/police
That's how it always goes. You're simply taking a finders fee.
The person who lost it really can't complain. They got their wallet back. If you hadn't taken the money, they wouldn't get anything back.
Went clubbing alone last night because I was so desperate for human contact
>spend about an hour walking around town building up the confidence to get in line
>pay extortionate amount to get in
>pay extortionate amount for drinks all night long
>spent 5 pounds buying cigarettes from people trying to spark up a conversation,but to no avail since I have autism
>sat in the corner making eye contact with guys and girls alike (gay-friendly club) hoping someone would come up and talk to me
>after three hours without anyone so much as saying a word to me I give up and browse /pol/ and /r/european on my phone
>start crying at quarter to five because I didn't get to touch any girls
>walk around town for 3 hours afterwards before I can get the train back home
Any tips for next time?
Took 260mg caffeine an hour ago and now I'm tired as fuck lads. seriously is there any shittier drug than caffeine? amphetamines are probably healthier to keep you awake.
This m8, women can just sit on their arse in a club and have a guy do all the work for them so they aren't proactive, there's always another guy willing to do it all for them.
It's unfortunate but it's just the way things are, you've gotta make the first move.
On my test I failed with one major. The major was staying in the right-hand lane too long, which I thought was bullshit as I was still making progress, there were little to no vehicles wanting to pass me and to get to the place they wanted me to go I never had to change lanes. I was angry at this and I'm retrying in March.
If this shit happens again I'm gonna be a real autist about in go on a ranting rampage
how much would you have to take so that you are awake enough to merely function for simple tasks? i dont want additional energy, i just want to feel normal after a night with lack of sleep ( i know modafinil might be better for this but I'm still curios)
I got diagnosed with ADHD when i was a kid and took ritalin for years, i wonder if this would make it easier for me to get it or something similar prescribed again
Yes it is. The inner lanes of any multi-lane road exist purely for overtaking or ease of congestion.
When there are few cars on the road, as was the case in your test, you may only legally drive on the outermost lane.
I'm surprised you passed your theory given your lack of highway code understanding.
>Don't go asking for le fast man pills obviously
i just read on drug forums that apperently ritalin for some people works even better to go fast than other drugs like amphetamines. i thought ritalin was shit for this.
but seriously, i sometimes lack this much concentration that i can't even read a sentence made of 10-15 words without having to reread ofver and over again. do you think this would be a valid argument? like how bad do you have to be to get prescribed ritalin? would mentioning problems like that or problems with studying be a valid reason? because obviously alot of people abuse it to study harder
>tfw it's nearly four o'clock in the afternoon and I don't feel like very much
>tfw saying to myself, 'Where are you golden boy? Where's your famous golden touch?'
tfw it's come to this
Fixed is a variable term. Unless every damaged part was replaced with something new, it's still damaged and will fare worse in another crash than a new one, and it could still have problems which weren't detected when it was repaired.
Never been prescribed so I wouldn't know, just say you find it really hard to concentrate at work and its effecting your performance, say you were diagnosed with ADHD as a kid and the tablets (pretend you can't remember the name) really helped, just play dumb and hope for the best, pretty sure the don't prescribe dex or ritalin to adults anyway, could be wrong
STAY JELLY POORFAG NEET
>TFW I'm going to get a new, fast whip in 10 weeks
HOP OUT A NEW WHIP NIGGA
LIKE I'M A SLAVEMASTER
I POST A RARE PEPE NIGGA
I'M FEELIN WAY BETTER
I'M FEELIN WAY BETTER
I'M FEELIN WAY BETTER
I'M FEELIN WAY BETTER
I'M FEELIN WAY BETTER
More than 3/4 of /brit/ posters have British flags on a board which encourages foreigners to post in our threads. That's not even including expats.
Here the number is much less, there are very few non-Brits that post here as they are not welcome and get called out easily.
>Here the number is much less, there are very few non-Brits that post here as they are not welcome and get called out easily.
Really? I have never been called out and post here since 6 months.
>Tilde's boypuss is nice and bare
Come on, Tilde, you know you like guys really.
How can you even know if they are called out easily or not? Obviously if someone uses all the british slang terms and memes it is hard to tell, and even if they don't they probably will never get called out. the only way you get called out is if you use american terms like drugstore, or like the other anon who used highway.
>You may get offered SSRIs instead
LOL aren't those for depression? I'm not depressed, i am the happiest autist on the planet. I've even taken drugs before that act as anti depressants (DXM for example) and didn't feel "less depressed" or anything like that, i felt awesome like i do every single day.
how come no one ever calls posters with poor english ITT out for not being british then? they don't even get called paki. and if posters with poor english aren't brits then what I've said earlier would be true: half the posters here wouldn't be brits.
Is that "Hannah" Wojak is thinking about?
Is there a reason she's popping up everywhere online again? 8 years ago 4chan couldn't get enough of her but then she fell off the face of the earth for awhile.
>tfw no grimes gf
>tfw no DXM to make this video feel more intense
Category D is just cosmetic damage isn't it? And C is panel damage? Surely you could get away with cat C or D if that's the case and any hidden damage will be covered by warranty? I just wont crash the fucker
I want pizza, but I can't really afford it.
Fucking hate my life.
>A lot of them do.
no they don't. I lurked every britfeel thread for the last 3 months or so and people only get called out when they use american terms, but rarely EVER when their english is poor.
>I'll be adding you to my list shortly.
couldn't give less of a fuck. I will tell all my foreign non brit friends to shitpost in /britfeel/ :^)
I snuggled with a daki that had Jun on one side, wasn't even mine lmao.
Literally patted and stroked azulads head last night. Also got to watch some very smart anime.
You can't buy an A or a B because they can't go back on the road. A C means it was not economic to repair because the pre-accident value was less than the repair costs. D is "all others" which could mean anything. C is actually the least risky. If it's a cat C you need to see a VIC check before you buy and be aware it's worth less if it happens again.
Watching This is England '90 and eating scrambled egg and beans on toast, couldn't really be bothered to make anything else.
I was going to get one last night so I went to order the biggest pizza, turns out that you need to spend a minimum of 11 quid for delivery. They can fuck off, their pizzas are barely worth half price anyway.
yeah also this. their english might just be poor because they are drunk or on other drugs.
my english might be poor, but at least I'm not fucking retarded like YOU are, hehe.
>Yes, we know you're an inconsistent newfag.
I said that I have lurked EVERY /britfeel/ thread since 3 months, the months before that I did NOT lurk every /britfeel/ thread, but I started 6 months ago.
>Why are non-British education standards so low?
I don't know. Why are brits so poor despite having better education?
Imagine if our ancestors could see what we have all become.
A = no usable parts, can't go on road (e.g. burnt out)
B = scrap parts only, can't go on road (e.g. twisted chassis)
C = cost exceeds pre-accident value, can be repaired, need a VIC check (could be accident or flood damage or fire or anything)
D = "all others" can be repaired, no VIC check needed (usually the same sorts of things as a C but the cost is less than the pre-accident value - most insurers write off cars where the costs are 60% of the pre-accident value)
Nothing wrong with buying a C in principle.
I would hope they could appreciate the art-house cinema of smart anime and drinking too much. naturally all the man on man touching is just banter, frolics between friends.
Might avoid conviction but the police will still feel they have enough to make and arrest and put me before a court
Video of a naked female
I had it backed up online, got paranoid and deleted it, made a copy on a memory stick
lost the memory stick now which is what I was worried about initiay
CC cleaner a dozens of overwrites
Sometimes I wonder if there's an afterlife and when I die I'll see my great grandfather in his Coldstream Guards uniform, a Saxon warrior, a redcoat who helped beat Napoleon, and all my other dead ancestors looking at me in disgust because they've seen me demolishing whole pizzas and clopping.
>just banter, frolics between friends.
You say that, you'll end up going further and further down the rabbit hole until you're wearing stockings and frilly panties, "ironically" giving Azusa waifu anon a blowjob while insisting "it's just a prank bro".
you don't even need that, overwriting everything with random data once is enough to make it impossible to recover with normal means (meaning plugging it into ur PC and trying various tools such as recuva)
>it's a spastics find love episode of Undateables while I'm struggling to even get girls to reply to me
>even the freaks on Jeremy Kyle manage it
What the fuck is wrong with me? I even applied to be on that shitty show and they said no because I've not got any disabilities. Fucking stupid.
yeah, skills for work for 18-24 year olds
good info, poor delivery
>when Nigel takes power can we bulldoze all the mosques in the UK?
Just make sure it has a somewhat recent MOT. You don't want to buy it and find it's going to cost more than you paid just to pass an MOT. Failures get recorded so it's obvious if you take it to a bent garage just to get it passed. Check obvious stuff like tread depth as well.
How do you know it's a previous write off anyway? Does it say on the advert or have you checked HPI? If you've not checked HPI I'd definitely do that - it might have been written off more than once, been stolen or be on finance.
>got employed after 6-7 months of neeting and partying and blowing through my savings even with welfare
>finally get a decent 10/hour full time job before going homeless
>460quid left in my bank
>payday is on the 12th, cause these fucks do it once a month
>bills come at 7th and 10th. 350 for home and 40 phone, then bus pass
gonna cut it real close brehs.
gonna go from near destitute to having a 1600 quid bomb in all to spend on random shit, najk gona save it now.
So this is what living paycheck to paycheck is, fuck that is really a miserable existence, thank god I'll only experience it once.
after factoring in tax allowance, gonna get about 1350 from it.
oh well that's still better than nothing.
>tfw you fat fucks on JSA just swiped a 250 from me
Feeling a bit better now after being hung over from a MENTAL night watching anime with Junlad
Who here /lost interest in masturbation/?
It's neither a good nor a bad feel 2bh
Birthday today lads. Going to go to the pub for a steak dinner.
this is actually a pretty decent idea
He sits near me at college and just trys to wind me up, he spread round the rumor that my dad beats me and my mum (which was true, but I don't think he actually knew that as I've never told anyone) and just loads of stuff tbf.
I'm the guy who was posting on Friday saying after a full day off his shit I sent him a rage message saying if I'm such a pussy give me a one on one on Monday, then regretted it straight away and tried to delete the message.
Happy birthday, lad. Have one for us and have a nice time.
hope you are not too mentally scarred.
i genuinely hope you have a good time. Happy Birthday lad.
Mu just gave me some dating advice lads, people on /brit/ thought it was really fucking weird advice are they just bantering me?
She said that I should stop trying to date girls my own age and that I'd have more luck dating 18 or 20 year old students.
This is because I make a "decent salary". I'm also 26.
I am assured it's ok because "girls are more mature".
Mum got married to my dad when she was 19 and he was 30.
No he's quite posh, his mum is a doctor or teacher or something, can't remember. I'm from a council estate so that could be the reason everyone picks on me. More likely my shyness.
Then things will just get worse, everyone calling me a snitch and stuff. And also fights are a regular thing at my college and no one ever get kicked out, so I doubt it will help.
>order from restaurant 5 minutes walk away
>takes 1 hour+ to be delivered
You remind me of a little bitch I knew at school. We spread a rumour that his dad had killed himself because of how disappointed he was in his son.
It was funny at the time and it's still funny now.
Fuck off paki get out vermin.
Lads does anyone like my shiny vaporeon?
It's completely legit as well and I finally got it to level 100.
Sorry for the shit quality
Sounds good to me mate I don't know why anyone would want to go for a girl older than age 21 anyway.
>I am assured it's ok because "girls are more mature".
On the contrary actually. When girls are 18-20 they are so desperate to feel 'mature' and 'grown up' that they are desperate for an older bf such as yourself. They of course are neither actually mature or grown up.
Easy pickings friendo.
it's times like this britfeel feels pretty /comfy/
Students are poor as fuck. I wouldn't trust one to be faithful though. I knew loads of girls with older bfs in uni who used to slag it up.
How would you even go about meeting a student when you're out of uni?
>How would you even go about meeting a student when you're out of uni?
Just sit outside uni in your Vauxhall Nova when all the students come out, blasting drum and bass to impress them. That's how the 23 year old chavs used to get 14 year old school girls round here so I guess it's the same sorta formula for uni students just with different ingredients.
>This year has started off perfectly, in the past 4 weeks I have never been so happy. New job, new friends, a new outlook on life. After the terrible year I had in 2015 I thought things would always be bad for me. I can't wait to go house hunting with Ryan (her bf) I hope the next 11 months will be as perfect as this one!
She is happy with her life now lads, another wasted opportunity, more crippling loneliness
Lapto fan is broken
Thoughts on buying this?
>I hope the next 11 months will be as perfect as this one!
>this level of attempted self-deception
As you're sitting around hoping for someone to talk to, I want you to think this:
"Whatever I say to someone right now, absolutely does not fucking matter, because anything is better than not talking at all."
Do not think about the end result (i.e. getting numbers, fucking, making good friends)
You just want to talk to people right now, so find the first conversation near you and just agree with everything they say. It doesn't matter. Slide in a few comments (silly jokes) whenever possible and someone will want to talk to you.
I couldn't keep up the veneer of giving a shit about lefty stuff that it would take to keep an 18 year old interested in politics.
At least when I was in uni anyone who cared about politics was lefty as fuck.