Who else here /communityfailure/?
>Recently had Eagle Scout ceremony, few weeks back
>No one knows I dropped out of University twice
>No one knows I've been in the loony bin, psych meds, drugged up, drug addiction, shit family support
>No one knows my back problem is returning and will need cane soon, at age 19, unless the health insurance comes through
>No one knows bipolar diagnosis, truth is its just being an apathetic shit most of the day, gets so bad I don't have the energy to speak, literally just sit looking at a wall, sometime so much energy go out on alcohol and drug binges with strangers
>No one believes me for the most part, even though I'm quiet as fuck and didn't ask them to, just dismiss me as a child, pretty much am
>Tons of commendations, typical letters from big names, gifts, got some really nice stuff and speeches from old supporters I didn't deserve
Literally everyone thinks I'm doing Business Admin, Biotech, to open a non-profit. Graduated top 10 of high school, president of honor society, went in with half scholarship half gov loans, some grants a year early, and now I'm here. I still have $20 from gift cards I received but feel like such a shit bag that I couldn't spend any of the money I got at the ceremony.
What do I get on amazon for $20 with money I do not deserve?
I'm technically an eagle scout? I did all the shit but never had my own ceremony. Im in the same vein I suppose. I was never an overachiever. I had trouble turning things in at school but people liked me because I was helpful. I dropped out pretty early on though and I don't see many options that don't end with me killing myself. Im probably just going through atypical existential bullshit but I don't see any way I could be happy
I'll explain in a second. Had to fix my family boiler and hot water. Shits fucked.
Implying I wouldnt have quit outright. My parents are so obsessed with my public image they've made this thing...this figure I'm not, fought battles that I didnt want, its like they need chad.
But I'm not chad.
The cutoff to EARN is 18, will explain one sec.
Same boat fampai, except opposite. I didn't do much shit and really REALLY tried to make a difference thinking I could help people until I grew up
meaning I realized everyone patronized me and that I was a happy go lucky retard
So what made you give up anon?
Ever try being degenerate?
Alright here we go
>Work on scouting sincerely thinking it mattered
>Age 15, have a project set up to fix up an old museum for the local vets who go there to shoot shit, in honor of veterans day
>Lawyer stops me in my tracks, literally offered to do it for free, this literal jew JUST- fucked my project up
>Leases 75% of museum land to walmart, the rest of artifacts are shoved onto small plot, along with rotting ship, veterans eventually stop coming and die off, got to meed pearl harbor vet who gave me an M21 training grenade from 1945
>submit second project proposal after being dicked around for two years
>troop leaders want their kids to have ceremony first
>been waiting for over a year
>tell me to wait more
>finally do a project at 18 years old
>all the old leaders and their kids off at good Uni's, left troop, laugh at the idea of me making it
>all thats left are little kids
So I got circlejerked for 4 years waiting for a ceremony by richfags who looked down on my parents. Head scoutmaster is the only person who didn't do that and helped me in the end, despite me giving up. Eh. Shits over. Its all bullshit anyway, no energy to fake it anymore.
Back to rewatching ayanami rei scenes
were never going to make it, are we
Thanks though, appreciate it anon. Our troop was pretty fucking autistic though.
>Go to summer camp one year
>Second day in, the brand new shower facility is shut down indefinitely
>A scout went inside and literally with the meme team shit everywhere
>Did not leave a single bathroom tile unstained
>All shower stalls had round swirls of corn filled turds in them
>Sinks smeared with poopoo and stalls covered in peepee
>Doorknobs to go in had shit on the back of them
>Locks on doors to janitor closets stuffed full of brown shit
I was blamed for it in my troop, but it was later found out that a troop of obese kids (not kidding, literally a troop for fat kids) did this because the cafeteria refused to serve them extra helpings before other scouts had eaten (their supposed motive).
Well by "fix" I mean make sure the gas isn't leaking, flip the emergency switch off, then on, change the settings on the water tank from C-HOT to B-HOT then hit the pilot a few times. Once its lit and the water heats up we should be okay, the heating is working again.
My plan is to go to a temp agency some time this week after brushing up my resume, going to try for an admin job, P/T. Maybe work my way up to full time. I'm in a tight spot but if I can manage the mood swings and music in my head, I'll be fine.
>mfw one of the fat kids tried to fight one of our kids
>mfw got the living obesity beaten out of him
never seen a wrapped weenie cry that fast, used to be astounded by troop behavior.
Damn dude that sucks. My project was last minute too but I did wrestling too in HS
What made me give up? Don't know exactly but it's probably atypical existential bullshit. I got really depressed once college started up, felt out of place, didn't have anything to look forward too. The only thing I can think of that would make me want to go on is researching immortality as the most roundabout way of doing philosophy. I can't think of cool shit if I'm dead. The thing is though I don't see any way out of Skepticism so it seems there is no truth no matter how hard I try. So I either go hard as fuck as Sisyphus or just try and live semi-hedonisticly for the moment.
Its fine fampai
Eh, I dream of immortality dont get me wrong but realistically speaking were all gonna kick the bucket.
>tfw no pill to slow metabolism
semi-hedonistically it is.
Gonna go /u/ and /a/ a bit. Still here though.
posting 3DPD, ever, get out anon, just, go and stay go
Did smokey come?
Wew lad, it's strange seeing another person suffering such a similar life
>back surgery at 23 to alleviate to very herniated discs in lower back
>still chronic pain and constantly having to reset the goddamn thing now at 25, but at least I can walk and stand up straight.
>dropped out of uni because I was suffering through unmedicated mental illness that either nobody cared enough to notice or I hid too well.
>dropped out of one community college multiple times after one good semester because I was on and off medication. Would literally drop my brother off at his classes then sit in the car for hours hoping to die of heat exhaustion until he needed to be picked up.
>Basically, I was mentally hanging on by a thread throughout my early adulthood in many ways.
>Just recently went back to a different community college after my surgery and now I'm about to transfer to university to get a bachelor's in maths.
Life is Beautiful.
I forgot to mention that the only things that didn't also apply to me in your OP were Boy Scouts since my autistic brother lead to us dropping out after the Boxcar Derby for Cub Scouts and being institutionalized, even though I came really close once or twice.
You sound like an older of me, I used to go to class and sit in the car.
Is back surgery as painful as it sounds? They said they wanted to fuse my lowest vertebrae to prevent further slippage (spondylosis) but I was paranoid, I had a bad surgery and anesthesia experience before. Its literally like, end of the world spoopy for me. I just cant.
Asuka a shit
Rei is love
seriously though fucking depressing how shit came about, ending was confusing at first
Yeah not aging doesn't stop one from getting BTFO by a bus. I just want answers but they are either incredibly beyond me or aren't there. Why search then? Hope I get swole from rolling boulders. You got any buds you do shit with? I have two fairly close friends. Problem is they don't know I've dropped out and it's been a year. They would freak the fuck out. One is always off with his gf and the other is at school. The only way I can see myself letting them know is it I go back to school and tell them I slipped up or some shit. I'm at a weird crossroads where we could go back to doing shit again or I could maybe cut them off and keep digging my hole til I reach 6 feet. My parents unfortunately would be devastated. I'd have to save up to travel or something and off myself in some foreign country.
It's a no pain, no gain kind of situation. The first couple of days were hell, with one instance that felt like my muscle spasms were about to tear my freshly operated-on back apart (10/10 on the pain scale), and the recover was months long and tedious, but my chronic back pain is at a much more bearable level now. Plus, they keep you doped up to high heaven in the hospital and afterwards so that helps.
That probably doesn't make surgery sound like a pleasant option, but I would do it again in a heartbeat because not having surgery wasn't an option as soon as the neurosurgeon looked at my MRI and told me that I had the worst back he'd ever seen on someone so young.
I'm an actual Eagle Scout and I just don't understand.
You don't have to wait for your troop's 'approval' or anything. It's up to you to find a project and get the OK from your local council.
What do you mean your troop leads asked you to "wait"? For what? They have nothing to do with it. What are you talking about?
Not that any of it matters. No one fucking values the effort it takes to get Eagle. Being an Eagle Scout couldn't even get me a part time job at Starbucks.
>>Doorknobs to go in had shit on the back of them
>the first sucker grabs the clean handle to get the secret shit hiding on the back
But fuck those fatties. And fuck your troop. How could they blame 1 kid for more shit than the best POO IN LOO could manage in 1 day?
Fuck of I know I Probably need to rewatch it. I liked the part where Shinji was in that void. It was interesting
We threw a match down a latrine once and it went forever. Someone had to eventually piss it out
I'm mentally ill and have autism. I'm working on a degree in art because painting is my calling. I collect autismbux, but I'll still always be poor as fuck.
But I can tell you that I'll still be happy.
Shit, you get it after all. No buds on my end just moved to a new state. Gotta cut it short, Im drunk now. Hard to type peropely.. Properly.
Dont reach six feet. Its almost impossible to come back up.
Original ending seems dope though everyone is happy and together. I just hate the fact that he went through all of that and how Rei died.
God fucking dammit this sucks. Shit. Still a bit worried but if I had no choice Id go balls deep and just pray it ends up OK. I get really delirious easily so Im worried Id fuck my back up by accident when doped up.
Guess I got cucked. And yeah. Its a dead thing now.
Autistic kid is easiest to blame.
>did he just jack off
Sides in orbit
There was but I forgot.
Troop was dildos.
Alright anons I gotta go before I fall alseep at thehelm. Gonna drink more and cry mysself to sleep at the thought of back surgery.
EVA really is wonderful. I love the scene when Komm Susser Todd plays. There's just so much I like about the show. I watched it all the way through and I'm tempted to watch it all again now.
Well shit. Wish I had autismbux but NY welfare is hard as shit to get unless you're homeless.
One more post forgot bestgirl imsge.
You should join the army, OP. If I had a dick, I'd join the army. I don't believe in any of the political bullshit and I could care less about my country, but if you can make it through then you'll be a man who is more worthy of life than other men. Suffering tempers flesh.
Yes but there's no requirement for where those hours come from.
If your troop is full of incapable children, then just outsource to another troop,
it counts towards their volunteer hours and it makes them feel like you owe them oneget non-scout friends, or my personal favorite, hire illegals to do it in a few hours for pennies on the dollar and bullshit the sign-in sheet.
Scouts has long since abandoned its principles. Scouts is no longer about manhood and cultivating good christian values. It's all about being able to navigate a bullshit bureaucracy and still get things done.
I bet there are other armies that would take you in docile as friend. Get gud at Judo or something, kick a guys was, then they'll take you seriously. Not him but I probably couldn't do it. I follow orders well and don't much care for life as I used to but I'm only for self-defense and I'm worried about fighting a war I don't agree with if shit were to go down somewhere.
It really really depends on the scoutmasters imo. If you've got a burly no-bullshit leader it'll be good. I'm not religious so idgaf about that part. You don't gotta love Jesus to do a good turn. There's nothing wrong with encouragement though
>It really really depends on the scoutmasters imo.
You have no idea how true that is. My scoutmaster actively blocked a kid from getting eagle.
>kid came back at 17 to finish up Eagle. >Cutting it close, but he could easily finish. And he did.
>Then comes one of the final paperwork/meetings with the Scoutmaster. >"I'm busy"
>starts ignoring calls all week, and won't even answer his fucking door
>He was almost out of time, and Scoutmaster Faggot was counting on it
>He wasnt standing for that shit, contacted the Council, got an extension on the deadline and met with them to finish it, above the cocksucker's head
>Naturally, Scoutmaster Faggot got mad he "undermined his authority", and threw a bitch fit
>"I was here for you, what the fuck?"
>nevermind he literally said "Anon isn't Eagle material" at 1 meeting, in earshot of his mom
>He fractured the troop in the process
>Half the faggot parents/leaders sided with him, going "rules are for fags, the Scoutmaster decides who gets Eagle"
>And half that follow the rules in the Scout Handbook and read the 2 pages in the back that clearly states Eagle requirements
>shouting matches in front of the kids
I bet the troop was fucked for years. Luckily I already had Eagle before that fag came into power, so I just quit after this shit.