>>26144644 pretty shit,did pe close to my oneitis,i was sweating a lot and i was nervous as shit,worse things was that she was close and always talking to two chads,and of course i discovered she was a complete normie.i had a crush on this girl and after all she was the normiest women i have ever meet
>>26144644 Not doing too bad, although I have fleas in my apartment right now. Idk how the fuck it happened, I have no animals and I'm pretty clean. Plus I have a sore throat and will probably wake up sick tomorrow. These evil fleas are driving me nuts. I don't even feel safe in my apartment anymore, and that was the ONE place I had in this world
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fH22F-5EBcQ Things are looking up! I felt really nervous about an interview yesterday but apparently I got the job! It's nothing glamorous, it's a seasonal position at Lowe's. But with some luck and elbow grease I think I can get hired for full time and start saving up to further my goal of passing CC and transferring to a Uni so I can become a teacher. If not that then I'd like to attend a tradeschool and become a carpenter or something
I think most of all though, I'm glad I can start helping around the house and pick up my slack.
I'm starting to think about suicide again after months of not thinking about it. I just want to stop thinking all the time. I want to live outside my brain because all I know is fear and hatred. Will I ever find peace? I wish I were normal, robot. I wish I were normal.
Started work, missed 3 days, probably fired. Have another job lined up but it's PRN. Haven't slept on my own for nearly 2 weeks. Anytime I slept was with the help of alcohol so I'm trying to get away from that.
I just don't want to try anything involving other people anymore. I already reached that point a while ago and came back out of it, just to reconfirm that I shouldn't. I just don't feel like trying, some people are meant to be alone so that others won't be. That's my belief and role.
Made a horrible lapse in judgment yesterday, almost cost me a great deal of time and money. Wracked with guilt, shame, and terror over what could have been worse (and it could have been really fucking bad). Back on the Celexa, which works but kills sexual pleasure. I'm okay with that right now. Being wigged out but relaxed would be great.
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