>get comfy in bed one night >suddenly extremely itchy asshole >like REALLY damn itchy >just washed my hands, don't wanna scratch it >wearing old pair of mom's panties >decide to wipe with those >kick them off in bed, wipe and rip at my asshole with the panties till the itching stops >it's too dark to see, can barely see hand in front of my face >out of curiosity, bring panties close to my face and inhale >breathe in nothing but pure, unfiltered shit
in the end the joke was on me, had to get out of bed to throw the underwear away anyways >mfw my mom found them and asked me about it
i told her the truth and we laughed about it, thankfully my mom and i shoot the shit all the time and it wasn't awkward at all
>be in middle school >hate normies whores who put make up in toilet and fix their hair in front of the mirror there >arrive 40 mins before my first class >wonder in the recreation area which is absolutely deserted >feel the need to defecate >say why not go into the ladies toilet to do it >go in and see no girls is there >take my poo in the loo >think with horror than in 30 mins some normies whore will go in this toilet to put make up >take some toilet paper and put some of my poo poo inside >put some of my poo on the mirror, on the wall, on the toilet door >thrilled as I imagined normies girls seeing this just when they prepared themselves to put make up and fix their hair >go in class >go out of class and hear the whole middle school talk about it >normies whores btfo
I know some of you won't believe it, but I can assure you I really did it.
>be me 10 years old >heading to my teachers house for violin lessons (she is a fucking bitch with bad breath problems) > walking by the street a fucking pigeon shits on my cute lil girl tails. >get in her studio, and my hair is full of bird crap > she will be back in a minute, is taking care of her baby >no ones watching >put some of the pigeon shit of my head into her coffee cup. >bitch gets in and starts drinking >past 1 hour, grab my shit and get the fuck out >next day early her husband calls home telling Mrs Marian is under medical care for some horrible intoxication, and she passed out last night and she won't be available.
>>26143633 Yeah, it's definitely not that great. I decided I was just done with it. I got a fake pussy and that's all I got now. It is a lot better to just get my rocks off in a different and better way. Now with the fake pussy it makes more normal masturbation seem more enticing so there is really no need to do any of that other weird shit. I don't know, I guess you are gay right? Well that's different then. I feel like Baron Harkonnen out of the Dune series. I wish I did not have this personality trait.
Just a few: >shit on aunt's carpet, pick it up and throw it in he toilet >smacked a turd on wall in a Denny's bathroom, it stuck >drank my own piss >frequently eat cereal while shitting >eat my own cum >dissected my own feces like it was science when I was in middle school >fingered my ex-gf's butthole all the time
I'm still ashamed of this one, I would never do something like this again. It's animalistic and takes perversion to an entirely new level
>Friend of mine is staying at my house for a week >She was at the time, leaving to another state for college >One night she enters my room and tells me she's going out to meet a "friend" (aka go fuck some guy at 11pm) >Tell her fine but I was actually really pissed because I thought we were about to fuck >I've been wanting to get this girl for like 2 years >She leaves and never comes back for a few weeks >Assume she was arrested or whatever because she doesn't even answer my calls or anything >Enter the room I let her stay in for a sketchbook I left in there and the room smelled just like her >Notice her dirty laundry bag and open it >Get out her panties and bra and stare at them >I get horny and put one pair on my face and jerked myself off with another pair >sweeteenrimetimepussy.wav >Literally cum with a force of a thousand suns >Cum on her panties, bra, my wall, and rug >Clean up the mess but I rub her toothbrush into my cum thats on her bra >2 weeks later she came back and turns out she did get arrested >Next morning walk into and see her brush her teeth and say goodmorning >go back to my room and rub another one out >She leaves 3 days later
We still talk to this day and I will never tell her this. I don't think I ever can but the thought of what I did just to get a rise. I will never do something that disgusting ever again
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