Typical Family Gatherings

>"When are you going to introduce us to your girlfriend?"

>"This might be my last Christmas with you kids." - Grandma

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>little cousin says you look like a future plumber

Plumbers make good money you spoiled rich little shit

>>26118865

>oh anon just relax

>I see you finally decided to join us! See we don't bite!

>"Suck my dick" - Grandpa

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>Meet any cute guys yet anon? Ha ha

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>>26118865
>Where are you working?

>"How's college?"

>"Anon, we're trying to Skype with your cousin. Can you help us?"

>>26119996
wew lad I havent heard that one yet

fucking hell thats harsh

My family doesn't gather because it's dysfunctional

>>26120125
Same, and if yours does, then guess what?

You need to get >>>/out/

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>>26118865
>tfw your family doesn't try to talk to you and leaves you alone

They finally understand.

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>Everyone talking at each other just for the sake of saying something
>Under-current feeling of everyone just waiting to die and get it all over with
>

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My family members mostly like me, which is nice. The last time I had a family gathering my aunt and uncle started a discussion about my (absent) cousins' girlfriends and sex lives. When the conversation turned to me it was about ways I could kill myself if I ever went blind. I'm not even joking.

>>26118865
>"thank you, dad. I love you"

>>26119848
My grandma is always saying shit like this its been three years grandma stop lying to us

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>>26118865
>So what are your plans for the future?
>say whatever
>think suicide

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>family is all talking about one of my cousins having another kid
>debating who is gonna have the next one
>mfw they always say it's gonna be me
>don't have a gf
>haven't had one for a while
>they just think I'm gonna knock up a one night stand

Thanks guys

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>mfw have a decent job that pays a bit more then minimum wage AND go to college for computer science
>no gf ever but they never asked me about that anyway

Feelsgoodman,

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>Hey Anon, why don't you give your uncle another one of those sloppy blowjobs with those slut lips of yours? Did you wear the panties I sent you for Christmas? Hah, you can show them to me later in the bathroom.

>>26118865
>"Hey anon, if you don't get a GF soon people are gonna start thinking you're one of those crazy beta uprising school shooters"

Fuck my family
This happened at christmas dinner.
[

Easy comebacks for all of these that make you seem alpha
>>26118865
Get it yourself.
>>26119924
I stay in my room for a reason
>>26120109
I'm not your tech support.
>>26119501
There is actually no safe answer to this. They will mock your regardless.

>>26120502
Or maybe they know you're a lonely neckbeard and you're too autistic to realize they're making fun of you.

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>>26118865
I'm just about done familia...

>>26119501

Fucking this tbqfh

>Have family gatherings every year with aunts/uncles and grandparents and cousins

>First my 25 yo older sister gets a BF and he comes, and now he's part of the family basically. Call him Dean.

>18 yo younger sister gets BF, he's starting to become like family after 2 years. Call him Bob

>Ever since little sister's BF started coming to gatherings we've all had a group picture in the end.

>Every fucking time: "Hehe, now that your sisters have reeled Dean and Bob into the family, next year it'll be your turn anon!"

>Laughter

>Tfw they aren't trying to make fun of me and only think it's funny because they think I'm just too callous towards people in general to have a girlfriend.

>Tfw they have no clue that I actually want a family

>Tfw they haven't seen my social failures with women

>Tfw I've been rejected brutally twice and was a beta orbiter once for like 8 months before realizing that I was being a huge fag and that no girl would ever sleep with me.

>Tfw you just wear a blank look on your face as they're laughing, knowing that they mean no harm, but it still fucking hurts.

>It fucking hurts and nobody knows because you're trying to keep the facade of never having had a gf because you just weren't interested at all.

>In reality, you tried and failed.

I don't even mind family gatherings otherwise but this has to happen every fucking time.

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>tfw no family
>no brothers, no sisters
>no uncles or aunts that live close to me
>no cousins either
>father died when I was 13
>mother died when I was 22
;_;

>>26123483
>Tfw they aren't trying to make fun of me
They are

>>26123577
That's not how family works, at worst it's meaningless banter.

My family doesn't ask me about girlfriends or anything, they just talk about banal shit and occasionally ask me to weigh in on it. The times I say more than a few words are when the men go off and that's just because they give me beer. People talking in general though just irritates me.

>>26120357
>years
My great-grandmother started doing this shit the moment she was a grandmother