>be in school
>suddenly hear shots
>can't get out from the classroom
>gunman barges in
How do you fare in this situation robos?
Keep it simple, as I'm using this to counter any possible factors in my upcoming debut.
I go into a full-force tackle on the gunman, because I'm a teacher, and I fucking love my students to death.
A KHV like me ain't gonna ever get any closer to being a father.
I'd be okay with going out like that if it meant I could preserve at least one of my student's lives.
Maybe I'd get a wing of the building named after me, since I'm already the head of a CTE department.
*backflip out of chair*
*send 3 throwing stars through his skull during flip*
looks like schools out
Give the gunman a quick morphine injection, just enough to give him a heart attack. And claim he had heart problems in a post-mortem
Throw myself in front of him. I fantasize about getting shot by someone random pretty regularly.
Asks him if he has a spare gun I was the only one who talked to him we were in history class together he hesitates but we're friends I say we can do this together remove the normies from the school as he gives me a gun I say I just have to tie my shoelace go ahead buddy as he turns his back I shoot him in the back of the head I get instant normie status for saving the chads and stacies.
unlikely - status: dead
shot in the balls and kneecaps - survided
molested later that day
unlikely - first one to beg
shot in the gut - bleed out mr orange style
first one to get it
gun has no bullet - make you strip infront all and shoot you in the spine - dead
save you for last so you can witness the glory
unlucky, broke spine, ended up paralyzed - died later by neglect
>shot in the balls and kneecaps
Bitch, I'm not going out that easy. I teach engineering classes. I keep a rubber mallet on my desk to separate wood blocks. That nigger's gonna either waste all his fucking ammo on me, or he's gonna get nutshotted himself.
Well if it's one of us, I believe we already agreed on the code phrase "ITTY BITTY BABY ITTY BITTY BOAT" as a way of letting them know we're of their kind and to not shoot us and/or that if the have a spare gun we're willing to help out.
Of course, if they're not from here then shouting that at them will make your final words some of the most retarded things you could have ever said. Still, if you're going to get shot in a school shooting what's it matter?
the obvious best way to counter this is to live in a society where shooting up your classmates in school isnt a social norm , which i do so i dont have to worry about this shit .
but if this shit happens and you know he's shooting people (not just a hostage taker or something) either run away , hide or charge at him \ throw shit at him whichever is faster to do at that moment .
>grab crush seductively and hide her behind my back
>she yells in disgust and pushes me away
>even the gunman
>he is distracted enough that Chad can choke him and knock him out
>all the girls wet their panties
>he grabs my crush and starts fucking her on the teacher's desk as everyone claps
Present my robot badge, obviously.
That's only if I'm in any danger of this happening, which I'm not because I don't live in a third world country.
Being completely honest here, I would try to get on the ground as quickly as possible, preferably behind an overturned desk or something, then lie completely still and pray that he's too stupid or hopped up on adrenaline to check or double-tap all of the bodies.
I say something stupid like chicken tendies chicken tendies xD LMAO, watch as you sit there and tip your fedora, and then
>pshhhh nothen personnel, Kid
Alternatively, I purposely give you the wrong directions and watch as police either confiscate your weapons and arrest you, or kill you on sight.
You're kinda retarded for mentioning this here. You do know the previous 4chan owner did use comments and posts like these as evidence in a court case, right?
>after hearing a gunshots, pull out knife and wait by the door
>when gunman walks into class, stab him
>be hero for saving poeople
>nobilitated to normie by thankful chads and stacies
>grab gun from autist's cold dead hands and shoot them
Considering asswipes here have called university campuses and gotten students expelled for "warning or threatening demeanor" from a twitter or facebook screencap, yes, yes I do.
>You would be a fool to take anything posted here as fiction
I know, I know. But there were reps from news sites making threads on here a day or so after some shootings after some kissless virgin asspie couldn't handle being made fun of for liking my little pony
Here's what would actually happen
>Gunman walks in
>Having no sense of social cues, understanding of other people, or having the common sense to even talk to a stranger, you do nothing
>Since you're standing there, waiting as you realize you have nothing to live for you panic and beg for mercy as he loads a clip into his revolver
>You mumble some stupid shit about your waifu
>You lifelessly fall to the ground with a bullet in your head, the resulting stench of nothing but tendies, cum-stained shirts and piss bottles makes the gunman re-evaluate his life and kill himself
Say what you want, it actually happened.
There were cops monitoring this board specifically like crazy.
They're even looking for threads, JUST LIKE THESE, and taking preventative measures, even if it's fake, which it most likely is.
>Implying anyone here has the nerve to do something like a school shooting when they don't even have the balls to talk to a girl in public.
>Gunman walks in
>Drop and cower
>Considering how autistic >>26116457 is, I assume he'll make me strip
>He's watching me undress, and he sees that I'm uncut
>He stops everything he's doing and goes on some fuckhuge rant about circumcision
>Pull some pepper spray out of my backpack, temporarily blind the fucker and get the fuck out
Rally my fellow normies and have them rush the gunman.
Theirs 45 of us in class, and his automatic assault rifle with its collapsing stock only has 30 rounds in the clip. Plus he's using no scope, so he will probably miss a few shows.
Since we have more people than bullets, statistically we will beat the gunman, because proper gun legislation has ensured that no more than 30 bullets can be a in a clip, which means that the average American classroom can overwhelm a gunman, even if he gets every shot out of his clip.
Here's what would actually happen
> anon would start stumbling over his words, n-no s-senpai
> gunman would hesitate, anon would start sweating, dark patches spreading over his MLP onesie he wears everyday
> gunman would smell the scent of a robot, and tear open anon's bag
> piss jars tumble out, smashing against the floor, mixing with weeks old tendies
> anons hard drive, decorated with MLP smashes to bits, and he screams something about a pepe collection
> gunman recognizes anon as a fellow idiot, and hands him a gun
> anon drops the gun, it goes off and hits gunman, gunman dies, anon transcends into alpha hood until interaction with another human being
> anon, you saved us! The girls scream
> t-thanks, y-you too
Throw something heavy at you and rush you. I'm sure everyone else would join in the rush when they see your staggering.
A lot of shootings have ended because the little autistic motherfucker got cornered and rushed.
I normally hate tripfags, but you're alright in my book.
Sure, that is how a human mind works in high stress situations.
>throw something heavy
>rush the gunman
>you're the only one who rushes him
>get gunned down while everyone else either cowers in fear or try to make a run for the exit
>mfw this thread and all the autism about getting in trouble for posting
It's really not that implausible, especially if the gunman had a rifle. Pistol, yeah, I'd probably get gunned down if I were the only one.
Besides, wouldn't we all have time to plan a defense strategy?
I live in the south. My shop teachers kept guns somewhere in the building. Nobody cared if you carried a pocket knife. I can't think of a class I was in while I was in school that wouldn't have rushed him.
Narrator: [Talking slowly] And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you.
>all the autism.
There were fake threads here for weeks last year after representatives from news casts came here to ask why nobody tried to stop the shooter when they were making plans here only to get responses like "It was funny, lol" or "those normies fucking deserved it"
I'm not saying it was particularly important, but it is somewhere in the archives.
You can either:
>Tip your fedora
>Have an anime opening ring tone
>Say something about manlets
>Say something along the lines of "Kill me anyways, I was circumcised, I don't get any pleasure out of life"
>Put on your fingerless gloves
>Start doing naruto hand signals
>Start quoting that faggot Elliot Rogers
So would you.
The thing is, they'd be cowering in public, and you're cowering at home on your computer.
I yell "I'm a virgin" and hope he realizes I'm a robot.
I'd just rush him. I probably wouldn't be able to overpower him or take his weapon and use it against him, but I don't give a shit if I'd probably fatally wounded, at least people would give a shit about me when I die.
>mfw you degenerates always manage to turn any thread into some gay shit about boipusci
If you make the first charge, people will likely follow you. Scared people who don't know what to do usually just follow what other people are doing. Have you ever watched a brawl start on Liveleak? It usually starts with one group backing away, and then joining in the brawl when their first friend charges in to fight.
Nah, I'm not.
I have enough common sense to not let some random people on a website shape my world views. I tend to, ya know
go outsideand figure that stuff out on my own.
Nice trips, you dumb frogposter
>DON"T SHOOT ME I"M NOT A NORMIE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>jump out window
keep this alive while i make a shake, then we'll shitpost some more
Just when I thought this thread couldn't get any better.
>I respond to bait
>Not only that but I miss the point entirely.
Holy fuck, what happened to the quality of this board?
How should I do that, senpai?
I'm thinking cropped porn.
face it, im all that you have. this shitpost is the highpoint of your day. you come here to get this because you need it, its what gets you through the shit you wade through.
I have an extensive collection of loli pantsu I bought at rummage sales, not to mention all my loli hentai. I'd rather die than to go to prison as a pedo.
>The measely 10 minutes I spend here are the highlight of my day.
Nope. You couldn't be farther from the truth.
oh yeah like those groups of people who riled together on those planes that hit the world trade center right?
there's like a 10% chance that someone will go full fucking BANZAI and rush the gunman with you, but 9 out of 10 times they'll just watch in fear. the smart people will use your death as a distraction and try to make a run for a door or window.
Alright, you caught me there.
But I've been looking into other hobbies as of late.
Shitposting just happens to be a pastime.
i think this could be a start of a beautiful friendship
>Decide to ""beta uprising may may" your school
>Hide gun in bag.
>Alright it is lunch time
>You stand up on the table holding your gun and say whilst crying
"d-dis is whatchu get f-for bullying"
>You lift the gun and aim it at chad
>Batu uprizen r-rite now
>normies will pretend they are sorry for you
>you will die a meme
Excellent quality shitposting desu.
I take out my CCW and shoot them
I don't give a shit if it's illegal I do it anyways
>insticts kick in
>being on the schools ultimate frisby team helps me as I whip a binder at his face
>while he is stunned I pick up my desk like a riot shield and rush him, crushing him into the wall
>don't kill him because I could probably sympathize with him on some level
I ask him if I can help in the beta uprising
I either get shot or I get to shoot people, win-win
Type of binder I'm talking about btw
nobody's going to believe me but here goes
>attending lecture, large room with lots of students
>skinny Mexican kid in a hoodie walks through the door
>the teacher looks at him and says "you're late"
>teacher's dead, kid's got a revolver in his hands
>I'm in the very back of the class, in the corner
>the kid is just standing there, nobody has moved or said anything yet
>I put my fist up and yell "woohoooooo!"
>kid fires four more shots into the mass of students
>some students try to run, others hit the deck but I just remain totally still
>2 students got hit and 1 died, then the kid shot himself in the head
>lower my headnand just try to not stick out
>wait till he inevitably starts singling out and focusing on one individual to terrorize
>grab nearest empty desk as fast as i can and fucking chuck it at him..
>run over to over to him
>take the gun