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What's the criteria for being a robot?
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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What's the criteria for being a robot?

Is it:
>NEET
>virgin
>kissless
>weird
>autistic
>lives in mom's basement
>no friends
>plays vidya games all day
>pisses in bottles
>fat
>on the verge of diabetes
>not female
>can't talk to strangers

If you aren't the above, you are not a robot
>>
>>26106365
have you ever heard about the "gray area between white and black"
>>
According to some normalfags around here its just being slightly awkward and a le nerd.
>>
>>26106424
Tfw my girlfriend thinks I'm geeky :/
Just kill me now :((((((((
>>
>>26106365

>NEET
Not completely NEET, but I'm a shut-in, yeah.
>virgin
Check.
>kissless
Check.
>weird
Check.
>autistic
Autistic like, a real autistic guy or a social creep?
>lives in mom's basement
Check.
>no friends
Check.
>plays vidya games all day
Lost joy in vidya long ago.
>pisses in bottles
Check.
>fat
Check.
>on the verge of diabetes
Probably, yeah.
>not female
Check.
>can't talk to strangers
Check.

Am I a part of the club yet?
>>
Virign is the ultimate robot condition
If you lost virginity via sexual abuse whilst young or it was a whore then it doesnt count
>>
>>26106365
100% robot disqualifiers:
>ever having had a gf
>ever having had real friends (doesn't count if you awkwardly hung around some people at school)
>being able to function in society to the same degree as a normal person
>>
>NEET
no
>virgin
yes
>kissless
yes
>weird
yes
>autistic
Diagnosed autist
>lives in mom's basement
no
>no friends
no, a few
>plays vidya games all day
can't
>pisses in bottles
no
>fat
no I keep in relatively good shape
>on the verge of diabetes
maybe
>not female
Yes
>can't talk to strangers
yes
>>
>>26106365
>Is it:
>NEET
motherlover
>>
You need to be kv.
If you're "super autistic and socially awkward and just sit alone" but not kv then obviously you're not super autistic and socially awkward and just sit alone. Having kv as a requirement makes gets rid of all normalfags who just pretend to be bad socially or have no idea of how bad robots actually are.
You don't need to be neet. Neet is a luxury most can't afford and you can be fully normalfag and neet at the same time. You can also be fully incapable of having any social life but still get admitted to university or get some job.
Being able to talk to strangers is a pretty small thing, I'd say allow it.
Being able to have friends and hanging out with them takes very much normalfaggotry, you can't be a robot with friends.
Maybe if you're so bad that you will be kv your whole life but are able to have friends you can be called cyborg.
>>
>>26106467
Virgin is a very good condition. It's very accurate and with just one condition. Also it's not subjective like social awkwardness or such which anyone can just make up that they are. The simpler the better.
>>
>>26106365
>NEET
ye
>virgin
ye
>kissless
no
>weird
no
>autistic
possibly
>lives in mom's basement
parents' house
>no friends
check
>plays vidya games all day
can't anymore. no joy derived from this
>pisses in bottles
no
>fat
skeleton
>on the verge of diabetes
on the verge of bloodclots
>not female
check
>can't talk to strangers
check
>>
The only criteria is to be socially awkward. And i mean to the point of it actually making the said person completely clueluess about the social norms because of the lack of human interaction.
>>
>>26106745
There's tons of people with friends and gfs claiming to be robots because they're "socially awkward".
If you make the requirement that you have to be kv then those faggots won't be able to call themselves robot.
If you're so socially awkward that you will be kv your whole life unless paying for a prostitute then you're socially awkward enough to be a robot.
>>
>>26106882
Trust me, you can have a job, go to uni, and have a gf and still be a robot. I may not be a virgin but still awkward as fuck / disconnected from society.
>>
>>26106988
>you can have a job, go to uni, and have a gf and still be a robot
>disconnected from society

normalfag doublethink/cognitive dissonance.
>>
>>26106988
You're not nearly "awkward as fuck / disconnected from society." enough to be a robot just because you're not Chad.
If you really were awkward and disconnected you would never have gotten that gf.
>>
>>26107069
What if you didn't really do anything and she came to you

Tfw attractive robot, lonely grills tend to end up liking me. Or at least around high school. Been neet for few years
>>
>>26107149
Oh also, the other gf I ever had was from WoW. We still talk, met when we were 11 and 13

>tfw failed normie childhood friend who you can only relate to on loneliness and depression
>>
>>26106365
>>NEET
Yes
>>virgin
Yes, but I fap a lot, so it's not like I have never cum
>>kissless
No, if family members count
>>weird
That's for others to decide
>>autistic
Not medically, but in the internet sense
>>lives in mom's basement
No, I have my own room, hell I was given my own room at 14, how old are your guys?
>>no friends
None
>>plays vidya games all day
Not all day. I spend 8 hours at most, after that I get dead tired somehow.
>>pisses in bottles
Why would I? My room even has a toilet
>>fat
Not fat but chubby. Moobs aren't every visible
>>on the verge of diabetes
Family history, so I can't help it
>>not female
Pure blooded male
>>can't talk to strangers
At most yes-no questions, buy anything more than that, and I spill my spaghetti

Guess I'm not a robot then
Sucks to be you all, how pathetic
>>
>>26106459
>lost joy in vidya
If this ever happens to me it will definitely be the last straw
Jesus christ
>>
>>26106459
>No joy from vidya
I would probably kill myself, literally nothing else gives me enjoyment and believe me I've tried alot of hobbies. They all suck.
>>
There is no criteria.

If you are truly a robot, you'll be able to feel it in your bones in a way that is both clear and undeniable.
>>
>>26107557
>Robots have bones
Robots have wires and metal bits, no bones.
>>
>NEET
yes
>virgin
no
>kissless
no
>weird
yes
>autistic
no
>lives in mom's basement
yes
>no friends
no
>plays vidya games all day
yes
>pisses in bottles
no
>fat
yes
>on the verge of diabetes
no
>not female
yes
>can't talk to strangers
yes
>>
>>26106365 I actually piss out my window you fat fuck.
>>
>fat
>thinks he's a robot
TOP KEK
If you have money to eat on a surplus, you're not a fucking robot. Get the fuck out normalfatty, your kind isn't welcome here.
>>
>>26107602
>6 No's
Get out.
>>
I agree on every other robot on the ''virgin is the best definition of a robot''.
>>26106608
This anon got that explained perfectly.
>>
>NEET
no
>virgin
yes
>kissless
yes
>weird
yes
>autistic
yes
>lives in mom's basement
no
>no friends
yes
>plays vidya games all day
no
>pisses in bottles
no
>fat
or skinny
>on the verge of diabetes
yes
>not female
yes
>can't talk to strangers
yes
>>
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>>26106365
I think this is fairly accurate.
>>
>>26106365
>>NEET
check
>>virgin
no
>>kissless
check
>>weird
check
>>autistic
check
>>lives in mom's basement
yes, i still live with my parents, though my mom is dead.
>>no friends
outside of family, check
>>plays vidya games all day
i honestly shipost on the internet more than i play video games, although i do enjoy them from time to time
>>pisses in bottles
no
>>fat
getting there
>>on the verge of diabetes
getting there
>>not female
check
>>can't talk to strangers
i CAN talk to strangers, as can literally anyone who can talk. am i good at talking to strangers in a way we both enjoy and mutually benafit from? no
>>
robot =/= total failures

Robots are just those who can't adapt to society for having a mindset that makes even the smallest conversation a hard thing.It can be for different reasons:autism,shyness,being a creep...

You described a total failure,not a robot
>>
>NEET
Yes
>virgin
No
>kissless
No
>weird
Yes
>autistic
Yes
>lives in mom's basement
Still live with my mom, so half?
>no friends
yes
>plays vidya games all day
yes
>pisses in bottles
no
>fat
no
>on the verge of diabetes
no
>not female
no
>can't talk to strangers
yes
>>
>>26106365
I Fit these
>Virgin
>Weird
>Autistic
>Lives in parents house is 22
>No friends
>Can't talk to stranger.
Never been fat.
>>
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>>26108207
No it's shit.
I've seen plenty of non-virgins getting low scores on that.
Pic related is improved but it was still based on a bad thing.
>>
>NEET
check
>virgin
check
>kissless
check
>weird
probably
>autistic
yes
>lives in mom's basement
no basement
>no friends
I got one
>plays vidya games all day
yeah, kinda
>pisses in bottles
I have a bathroom
>fat
nope, skinny as fuck
>on the verge of diabetes
hmmmm
>not female
check
>can't talk to strangers
check
>>
You have to be:
>NEET
>KHTV
>home schooled autistic
>live with parents
>never talked to anyone that wasn't family or a cash register
>go outside less than 3 times a month
>>
>>26108569
>this nigger's trying to exaggerate but number 3 is the only one I don't have
>>
>>26106459
>Autistic like, a real autistic guy or a social creep?
Either one desu both have shitty JUST tier social skills
>>
>>26108603
I'm not exaggerating, all of those things hold true for me, and if you aren't as autistic as me, you're a normalfag.
>>
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>>26108607
>JUST
>>>/lolg/
>>
>>26106365
You just have to be either ugly or socially retarded.
>>
>>26108410
I guess you're right. But if a robot pays for sex does that exclude him from robotdom?
>>
>>26106365
I fucking hate fat people so much
Just the idea of fat """"people"""" browsing this board repulses me and makes me want to kill myself
Fucking gross
>>
>>26108714
Not in my opinion.
>>
>>26108410
13

I don't see how robots are alpha enough to have a criminal record though
>>
>NEET
Yessiree
>virgin
Yep
>kissless
Yes
>weird
Affirmative
>autistic
Hai
>lives in mom's basement
Childhood bedroom
>no friends
Yee
>plays vidya games all day
I find no joy in vidya anymore
>pisses in bottles
Sometimes
>fat
Yes
>on the verge of diabetes
Probably
>not female
reeeeeee
>can't talk to strangers
Yes
>>
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>>26108840
>I find no joy in vidya anymore

Why has God seen fit to take this

It's all I had
>>
>>26106365
>NEET
Nope. I go to school. Quit my old job last week (was far and wasn't making enough money).
>virgin
Nope.
>kissless
Nope.
>weird
Incredibly.
>autistic
Nope.
>lives in mom's basement
Nope.
>no friends
I have like three that I talk to almost every day.
>plays vidya games all day
Depends on how much studying I have to get done. I try to get at least one or two games of League in every night, otherwise I'll die of boredom.
>pisses in bottles
That's disgusting.
>fat
Nope.
>on the verge of diabetes
Nope.
>not female
Check.
>can't talk to strangers
I'm apparently very good at talking to people. I don't see how, since I hate them all.
>>
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>>26108900
>weird
>Incredibly.
>>
>>26107149
>she came to you
That doesn't even happen to regular normalfags. You're beyond that. You're Chad.
>>
>>26106988
>Trust me, you can have a job, go to uni, and have a gf and still be a robot.

I might just frame this so I can laugh at it sometimes

Normalfags really cannot understand or comprehend
>>
>>26109768
Normalfags are so fucking ignorant.

>inb4 tumblr may may
>>
>>26106365


Why do they look at male virgins as creeps and freaks?

If someone was a 30 year old virgin we should be treating him like the Pope or something. He's undefiled. He's unspoiled. He's innocent. Fuck instead it's the other way around.
>>
>>26110548
Because he wasn't resisting temptation like a female or 10/10 male would have to to reach 30
>>
>>26106365
>>NEET
Well, im looking for some job, but im not a neet, i guess
>>virgin
yes
>>kissless
yes
>>weird
50/50
>>autistic
nah, im not
>>lives in mom's basement
living my parents, i'd like to go desu
>>no friends
yes, i have no friends
>>plays vidya games all day
nah, only 4chan and skype
>>pisses in bottles
no.
>>fat
no.
>>on the verge of diabetes
nopee
>>not female
obviously not.
>>can't talk to strangers
can't talk desu
>>
>>26106365
Anyone can be a robot. The KHV-bots don't understand that a life is still painful, unfair and devoid of meaning even if you slay a lot of pussy
>>
>>26106365
All of the above except that I'm a shredded autistic sickkunt desu
>>
>NEET:
In education.
>virgin:
yup.
>kissless
nope
>weird
nope
>autistic
yes :(
>lives in moms basement
nope
>no friends
nope
>all day vidya
yes
>pisses in bottles
nope
>fat
does skinnyfat count?
>on the verge of diabetes
nope
>not female
nope
>cant talk to strangers
nope

I need to leave, don't I?
>>
>>26108207
>tfw you score 137 but still sympathize with the robot philosophy
>>
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>NEET
yeah
>virgin
yeah
>kissless
absolutely
>weird
indeed
>autistic
indeeeed
>lives in mom's basement
pretty much
>no friends
0
>plays vidya games all day
i go on youtube too
>pisses in bottles
check, less so recentl but i still do it
>fat
skinlet
>on the verge of diabetes
nah
>not female
yup
>can't talk to strangers
nosirey
>>
>>26108410
I got 132 and I am a virgin. why the fuck do I still browse this board
>>
>>26111609
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBsdWW7MOew
>>
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>>26108410
14
just like this original comment
>>
>>26111352
That shit doesn't make you a robot.
>>
>>26106365
>not female
>can't talk to strangers
>no friends
>virgin/kissless
>NEET

These are the biggest, from most to least qualifying. Everything else is too specific and relative.
>>
>>26106365
>NEET
not quite, but close.
>virgin
Check
>kissless
Check
>weird
Check
>autistic
Check
>lives in mom's basement
Check
>no friends
Check
>plays vidya games all day
Not quite, but close.
>pisses in bottles
Nope. But I do wear/use diapers whenever I can.
>fat
Nope. More skelly than anything.
>on the verge of diabetes
Nope
>not female
Check
>can't talk to strangers
I can, but it is extremely difficult and awkward. I tent to profoundly spill my spaghetti.
>>
>>26106365
>NEET
yes
>virgin
yes
>kissless
yes
>weird
hell yes
>autistic
yes
>lives in mom's basement
I guess
>no friends
yes
>plays vidya games all day
no but browses 4chan all day
>pisses in bottles
no but don't judge those who do
>fat
skinnyfat
>on the verge of diabetes
maybe
>not female
yes
>can't talk to strangers
yes

so close
>>
This board really has shifted in recent years to portraying the "social failure" stereotype as being the typical robot. All being a robot is, is not fitting into society, regardless of how well you fit into it to begin with. I know many people who normies would think are Chads but just put on a charade during the day and grin and bear it then go home and effectively sperg out and see the world the exact same way that /r9k/ does, however and live and cope in it much better.

The above criteria in OPs post add to social friction with normies but do not automatically make you a robot, I know normies that fit most, if not all of those things and still are normies (Not robots) and vise versa.

I don't even understand the very existence of the term "cyborg", no matter how well can fit into society artificially, if you never can genuinely and automatically ease into things and have a history of sticking out and seeing things for how they are, you are a robot simple.
>>
>>26106365
>NEET
Not a NEET but not out of choice. Was a NEET for a while until mum forced me to work with her.
>virgin
Unless a painful handjob when I was 15 counts, then yes.
>kissless
Nope, but most of them were men and I'm not even gay or bisexual.
>weird
Usually down to interpretation, although the general consensus is yes.
>autistic
Clinically. Assburgers though, not full-blown autism.
>lives in mom's basement
B-but we don't have a basement...
>no friends
I have some, but they've been dropping like flies each year since I left school.
>plays vidya games all day
Not all day. Sometimes I shitpost, watch Chinese cartoons and masturbate.
>pisses in bottles
Not yet. Never really been motivated to since my room is literally RIGHT next to the bathroom.
>fat
Getting there. Skinny fat at the moment, but will probably be a full-on fatty by 30.
>on the verge of diabetes
Wouldn't surprise me.
>not female
I like to dress up sometimes.
>can't talk to strangers
It's incredibly difficult.
>>
>NEET
in college
>virgin
check
>kissless
check
>weird
check
>autistic
check
>lives in mom's basement
have my own room lol
>no friends
like 2 good friends but that's it
>plays vidya games all day
check
>pisses in bottles
used to but got caught
>fat
check
>on the verge of diabetes
not that fat
>not female
check
>can't talk to strangers
check

fuck
>>
>>26106365
>NEET
no
>virgin
yes
>kissless
yes
>weird
yes
>autistic
ADHD, which I know shares a few symptoms with autism
>lives in mom's basement
no
>no friends
no
>plays vidya all day
I've pretty much replaced video games with music. I start to get really fucking salty if I go more than a day without listening to at least one album I enjoy.
>pisses in bottles
no
>fat
Yeah, but I'm nowhere near being a landwhale. Think Ethan Klein.
>on the verge of diabetes
no
>not female
yes
>can't talk to strangers
I really don't like to, but I can.


how normie am I?
>>
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I don't understand this whole "no hymen, no diamond" meme.

I'm a woman and if somebody gifted me a diamond I'd return it straight back to the shop.
What kind of moron willingly and knowingly buys into the De Beers Jew-Machine?
>>
>NEET
yes
>virgin
yes
>kissless
yes
>weird
yes
>autistic
basically
>lives in mom's basement
no but i do get welfare
>no friends
yes
>plays vidya games all day
yes
>pisses in bottles
yes
>fat
yes
>on the verge of diabetes
not really, ive been losing weight because of stimulants
>not female
yes
>can't talk to strangers
yes
>>
>NEET
Wagecuck
>virgin
Check
>kissless
Check
>weird
Check
>autistic
No
>lives in mom's basement
Check
>no friends
Only 1 "friend"
>plays vidya games all day
More like anime/internet
>pisses in bottles
No
>fat
Whole family is slim
>on the verge of diabetes
Probably
>not female
Check
>can't talk to strangers
More or less
>>
>>26106365
>neet
yes
>virgin
yes
>kissless
kissed a girl in 1st grade but other than that yes
>weird
room is full of anime posters, figures and a dakimakura of my waifu and i have 3 onaholes. yes i am fucking weird
>autistic
yes, asperger
>lives in mom's basement
not a basement but i live downstairs, parents upstairs, pretty comfy desu
>no friends
3 friends, not sure why they put up with me
>play's vidya games all day
don't play vidya much anymore unfortunately, i just can't get into it like i could when i was a child
>pisses in bottles
nobody actually does this do they?
>fat
no, metabolism ftw
>on the verge of diabetes
no
>not female
male on the outside loli on the inside
>can't talk to strangers
i can but i feel really uncomfortable doing so

so what's the verdict?

just throw in some stats i'm white, 23 yo, 6'3, 7.5' penis
>>
>>26115425
I'm a man, now sexually interested in you since you proclaimed you were a woman.

cue 300 replies now
Thread replies: 78
Thread images: 9
Thread DB ID: 476437



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