Severus Snape

>>26104849
you forgot
>joined guy who wanted to holocaust muggles
>was half-muggle

also rip alan rickman

Is he /r9k/ incarnated?

I guess he'd be the mod of /r9k/ if 4chan were a magical imageboard.

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>>26104893
>tfw you realize Voldemort was the good guy

>>26104849
I cant understand that. Women and the general population love snape, but in real life they would never associate with a guy like him.

>>26104849
That's not what cuck means, anon.

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>>26106229
>Women and the general population love snape

That's because his movie portrayal, which most people remember, was very different from how he was in the books (petty, immature, greedy, greasy, frothing at the mouth mad and bullying little kids).

>>26104849
He's oneitis incarnate. He never fugged or had a relationship with her so technically he is not a cuck.

Women want the undying love, support, and resources of men to whom they don't need to give anything in return, so that they can better raise Chad's offspring.

Snape isn't appealing to women as a 'mate', but as a 'gay uncle' role

Why do girlfriendless permavirgins use the "cuck" meme without feeling foolish?

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>>26106388
I don't know. I found movie Snape to match book Snape pretty well. It's simply because Alan Rickman was handsome, and women love handsome, in the unconventional and brooding sense in Rickmans case. Everything else is bullshit next to handsome.

>>26107002
That's not how I wrote him in my teenage fanfics, anon.

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Which house do you think you'd be sorted into, robots?

>>26107598
Slytherin.

Hufflepuff is bro. Gryffindor is Chad house.

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>>26107598
Probably Ravenclaw. I'd say Slytherin but they seem very competitive, like the prep house, and would give you a lot of shit socially. Too cowardly and soft for Gryffindor, too lazy and antisocial for Hufflepuff. I'm not a genius but I value wisdom and wit so Ravenclaw it is, plus they have an awesome common room and all the qts.

>>26107598
Either Slytherin or Ravenclaw because I'm a smart asshole.

>>26107789
>>26107827
I fucking hated how Rowling wrote slytherin. All of the other houses had a reasonable defining factor, smarts, bravery, or crazy. Then there's slytherin, who's just evil. Every mother fucker in there was evil, why don't they just get rid of the house? It's stupid to have 1/4th of the school be for evil people.

>>26107884
They were ambitious, anon.

But it was kinda how they were seen as the bad guys.

>>26107884
That's wrong though. Slytherins are ambitious, competetive and while not being generally well-liked as the Gryffindors, they form deep and profound friendships with other Slytherins.

>>26104909
Nah, there are way better candidates from the series.

Mundungus Fletcher probably comes closest.

>>26107827
Same as this guy. I'm probably not smart enough for Ravenclaw, but I'm too much of an edgy cunt to fit in anywhere else but Slytherin.

>>26107598
Slytherin.
>Not smart enough for Ravenclaw
>Not Chad enough for Gryffindor
>Not normie enough for Hufflepuff
>Manipulative and introverted enough for the house that the Chads hate

>>26107789
Slytherins were supposed to be ambitious, but Rowling wrote them poorly in that there was not a single Slytherin that defended Hogwarts in the end of the series and I can't think of many Slytherins that even had "ambitious" as their defining character trait. Slughorn is the only real "not evil" Slytherin that comes off as "ambitious" in that he's obsessed with networking but it took 6 freaking books for him to exist at all.

>>26107884
What about Snape and Slughorn?

Even Malfoy ends up decent by the end.

>>26108140
The story didn't really start until the fifth book though.

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Rip in pepperoni

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLD6EA6tAtQ

>>26107884
It's still there between the lines though. Before Harry Potter got into Hogwarts and became a mary sue, despite being disliked by everyone, the Slytherins managed to win housecup after housecup.
When everyone hates your gut for no reason, you start to (a) band together and form usually life-lasting bonds, as seen in the slytherin politics after Hogwarts and (b) hate other people that you perceive as lesser than you, namely muggles.

>>26105049
>tfw you realize he was hitler reincarnated

>>26107628
>>26108135
Slytherin is more Chad than Gryffindor.

>>26108177
Stuff from as early as the second book is still relevant by the end of the series, you can argue that it's all just building up the setting but they're enjoyable books in their own right. I love the 4th one especially.

I have free hours in uni this year since I've only got a few classes left to graduate so I'm taking a Harry Potter fan class for that sweet GPA padding.

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>>26108061
Mundungus is a crafty criminal who knows everything that goes around because he has connections in the underworld. We don't.

>>26108140
>there was not a single Slytherin that defended Hogwarts in the end of the series

Slughorn dueled Voldemort at the final battle. In many Slytherins, like in many other people in general, "ambition" manifests as crime, extortion and violence, because they only want to reach the top, and they don't really care how they get there. Rowling basically says that pure ambition, without the urge to actually do something good in order to reach the top, is bad.

>>26108187
>the Slytherins managed to win housecup after housecup.

Snape was biased as fuck and let them cheat all the time.

>>26108209
Read the fucking books anon. People hate slytherin, but they love Gryfindor. People love Chad.

>>26108267
well thank god Snape did? If they didn't have him nobody would like them in the slightest.

>>26108267
>Slughorn dueled voldemort

I'll be damned, I totally missed that when I read the book. I like him a lot better now, but reading about his slug club crap still pissed me off.

The pottermore website has a pretty good "which house are you" test by the way. It told me I'm Slytherin.

>>26107598
Probably Slytherin, I'd say Ravenclaw since I'm pretty smart but I'm also a massive petty, narcissistic asshole.

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>>26108313
>If they didn't have him nobody would like them in the slightest.

It's the opposite. Snape and his biased attitude probably made a lot of students hate Slytherins.

>>26108337
>but reading about his slug club crap still pissed me off.

Really? why? those were some comfy scenes. I really liked Slughorn in general, he was "flawed but not evil", and didn't have any pretensions of heroism. He's someone you can actually relate to. He just likes the comfy life. Slytherins were probably much more like him before Voldemort made it his training ground.

>>26106229

Because women only like the idea of love. In reality the nature and biology overwhelms fantasies from Dysney's movies.

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>>26108209
> Slytherin
> Chad

Slytherin is the house where the guys who's only thing keeping them from going full school-shooter at any moment is the memory of the one time they fingerbanged a girl in the rear aisle of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. It's not a Chad house at all.

>>26108425
Nah, they're more like the preps, while Gryffindors are the Chads. They're selfish, stuck-up, self important little cunts.

>>26108140
Right? Crabbe and Goyle were both Slytherins, and neither of them seemed like alhpa+ ambitious leaders, they were just complete goons that were basically stand-ins for Dudley while Harry was away from the Dursleys. She did a real shit job at writing the houses, they are much more nuanced in theory than they were in practice.

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>you will never live and study in a tower of a mysterious ancient castle
>you will never drink butterbeer at Hogsmeade on a snowy day
>you will never hike with luna lovegood in the spooky forbidden forest and protect her from monsters
>you will never curse your bullies with dark magic
>you will never mind control muggle bitches into being your sex slaves while they consume polyjuice to make them look like your your fantasy girl

fuck this muggle earth

>>26108135
>Sytherin - Chad-Edgelord Hybrid
>Gryffindor - Normies (in the movie we like them over Slytherin because they're supposed to be the underdogs against the chads)
>Hufflepuff - Robots/betas
>Ravenclaw - I'm not sure

>>26108537
>in the movie

There's your problem right there

>>26108537
Ravenclaw is the autism house, while Hufflepuff is the robot house

>>26108537
> Slytherin - School shooter school. Defined by being hateful and isolated, but uses delusional self descriptors. Sees self as ambitious, but doesn't actually work towards any ambitions. Sees self as superior, but can't point out any achievements to support this other than superficial qualities and the circumstances of their birth. Intensely regressive in politics. Admires an old and lost genocidal dictator.

Slytherin is /pol/

> Gryffindor - Intense, but generally extroverted and amicable. Strong sense of identity and self-determination. Admired by many outside of their own community.

Gryffindor is /fit/

> Hufflepuff - Quiet, reserved, and low self esteem, although benign for the most part and very interested in friendship, even though they don't leave their own small community very often. There are very few women in this community.

Hufflepuff is /r9k/

> Ravenclaw - dedicated to an intellectual pursuit, and sure of themselves, especially within their own community.

Ravenclaw is /lit/

>>26108537
Ravenclaws are STEMfags/smart autists.

>>26108670
This is actually a pretty good analogy. Except that Hufflepuffs aren't edgy enough to be robots. They're more like SJWs, hippies, "nice guys", and the rest of the politically correct crowd.

>>26108878
They're like stonerbots.

>>26108878
Yeah, the introverted/lazy/socially retarded/ugly Slytherins and Ravenclaws would make up the robots.

She should've stuck the main characters in different houses. Having them all in Gryffindor and all the bad guys in Slytherin essentially made Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff irrelevant.

Should've had Hermione in Ravenclaw, Ron in Gryffindor and Harry in Slytherin and Neville in Hufflepuff, would've been much more interesting.

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>Robots desperately trying not to be Hufflepuffs

>Board of male virgins

>>26109057
You forget that most hufflepuffs are considered friendly and have friends.

>>26109047
It would have made extremely close friendships impossible if they all lived on opposite sides of the fucking castle, were competing in Quidditch games and the House Cup, etc.

Ravenclaw isn't irrelevant because it has Loony, and Loony's perfect. Hufflepuff is actually irrelevant though. Having Neville in Hufflepuff wouldn't have made the pivotal sword-pulling scene at the last fight possible.

>>26109119
Yeah and slytherins have ambition unlike every NEET

They're friendly because they're fucking pushovers and that's the only positive thing people can think up for them

>>26109119
this, any of us would just mysteriously not get the invitation to school due to the headmasters' wisdom

>>26109213
Speak for yourself, I am a NEET because I have ambition and would rather not live my life shackled to a job I hate.

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At my last job, everyone, EVERYONE, all of my coworkers fucking called me Snape. Or potions master. Or professor. Sure, I was a greasy, moody, highly competent and secretive asshole that dressed in all black and had that extremely unflattering haircut, but they had no way of knowing my problems with relationships or my prior history with the intelligence community.

To be fair, they called everyone else in the store some other character from Harry Potter, so they weren't singling me out that badly. It was still really fucking insulting though. Nearly followed me to my next job but I snuffed that shit out as quickly as humanly possible.

>>26108537
Ravenclaw is that one kid who freaked tf out when his grade dropped to an A- and pleaded with the teacher to give him extra credit work because he knew without academic success he was a failure

and never had any friends

>>26109016
> Ravenclaw
> Robots
mysides.jpg
Ravenclaws at least need enough social skill/sense of self worth/sense of direction to succeed in a competitive academic environment. I guarantee you that only a very small minority of Ravenclaws go on to be NEET losers.

>>26109213
Yeah, Slytherins are ambitious and have high self esteem, two things that NEETs lack. Ravenclaws are actually high-achieving and competitive intellectuals whereas robots are still relying on the time their mom told them they were "gifted" when they were 8 to feed their delusions of intellectual superiority.

>>26109298
Nah, you guys should stop generalizing. The Ravenclaw quidditch captain took Fleur to the Yule Ball, and there was this Ravenclaw that dated both Ginny and Cho (who were said to be the hottest girls in the school). Ravenclaw is basically Gryffindor with a little more subtle approach.

Basically very few students actually fit their House traits.

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>>26109252
> NEET believes that being a welfare queen/mommy's boy is an ambition
> mysides.exe

>>26109298
That's a better description of smart Gryffindors, like Hermione.

Ravenclaws don't care as much about social approval and norms, and are satisfied by intellectual accomplishments alone, rather than grades or money.

>>26109213
>>26109389
Not all robots are NEETs. Robot is a state of mind. Some of us did or do succeed academically in high school or college.

>>26109450
A Quidditch captain is its own social category, of course they're going to be Chad-tier popular no matter what their house.

The books intentionally include exceptions to the house traits to make a point.

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>>26108337
>requires login

>>26109474
>Some of us did or do succeed academically in high school or college.

Nigger that's fucking easymode, any autist including myself can get a degree.
You must be a teen if you think anyone gives a fuck.

>>26108225
>Harry Potter fan class
wat

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>>26109508
>The books intentionally include exceptions to the house traits to make a point.

Yet we didn't see one Ravenclaw that actually fit the "nerd" stereotype. Luna and Ollivander exemplify Ravenclaw traits because they are eccentric, individualistic, and slightly autistic, but all other Ravenclaws can pretty much be taken for Gryffindors. In theory, it's the House of the geeks,autists and artfags, but in practice they were just normal.

...And really, most of those kids don't really fit squarely with their House traits. They're just dumb fucking kids. There are few who actually possess qualities like "bravery", "cunning", "loyalty" or "wit". Stop thinking that there are only 4 personality types in the world. Most of the students in all houses are just normal kids with slight affinities here or there.

Slytherin - Vale of Arryn
Gryffindor - Westerlands
Hufflepuff - Riverlands
Ravenclaw - Reach

>>26110198
Slytherin is more like Dorne

>>26109297
You should've rolled with potions master. Everyone would want to try your homebrew beers

>>26110986
I actually tried to take a few of them out to a favorite pub of mine, and they all got $2 cans of pisswater and talked about sports the entire time. I learned my lesson

>>26110233
Dorne is filled with mudbloods though

>>26109559
That wasn't the point.

Intelligent people like Ravenclaws could still hypothetically become NEETs or robots.

Being able to "succeed" and choosing to are two different things.

>>26109457
It meant that I was looking for a job and not just taking the first thing that comes along. I have a good degree and a 3 in front when I write my age, I've done my time having mere internships and retarded positions.

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>>26111840
mudbloods =/= niggers m8

Dorne has a thing for snakes and poisons, which Slytherins like. They are also edgy as fuck.

>>26109676
>we didn't see one Ravenclaw that actually fit the "nerd" stereotype

If "nerd" means someone who is socially awkward and picked on, Neville already filled this role.

Also a lot of true "nerds" are in the library all the time and not very noticeable.

>>26111987
Are you talking Game of Thrones or Warhammer?

>>26112010
>Neville already filled this role.

Yeah, and he wasn't a Ravenclaw. But by "nerds" I meant more along the lines of "brains".

>>26112024
GoT

>>26112051
I'm so glad I don't watch "Game of Drones" some days.

>>26112051
>But by "nerds" I meant more along the lines of "brains".

Hermione already filled that role. What I'm saying is there wasn't a point in introducing redundant Ravenclaw characters.

harry potter has some great world building but holy shit rowling can't write a story for shit

i wish let someone else do them

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>>26107789
top kek fokkin saved.

I wouldn't mind being in hufflepuff, it's probably full of qts

>>26113370
I didn't give you permission to save it you fucking faggot. Delete it right now.

>>26113491
>qts

It's full of fat girls.

>>26113491
>huffle
>puff

>>26107598
Hufflepuff or Gryffindor probably.

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>>26113541
I aint removing shit faggot

>>26111964
You sound pretty unsuccessful at life. Not a NEET by choice, but a NEET by necessity.

>>26113491
Ravenclaw and Gryffindor have the hotties. Maybe Slytherin has a few edgy goth witch chicks, which would be nice.

>>26104849
That nigga dead

>>26108670
hufflepuff is 420chan

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What would you do if you were a wizard, /r9k/?

>>26114489
Kill myself

roblox

>>26114489
Go to the forbidden section every night, if you know what I mean.

>>26114763
I don't know what you mean, can you explain it to me?