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I am so FUCKED

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

Thread replies: 24
Thread images: 4

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>buy a prostate stimulator last semester to kill the pain of having no friends
>comes in discreet packaging so it's delivered right to the campus post office
>use it for a few weeks with no problem
>come home for winter break
>over the break learn that I failed some classes again and they're kicking me out
>have to go back this Friday and clear out my room
>driving up there with my mom and qt cousin
>prostate stimulator is sitting in a desk drawer, just begging to be found
How do I get it out of that room without them noticing it? I can throw it out in a trash can in the hallway, but it's a no man's land between there and my room. Would it be suspicious if I asked them to give me a minute to clear out some stuff before they go in?
>>
>Would it be suspicious if I asked them to give me a minute to clear out some stuff before they go in?
why do you care? just ask. no normal person is going to wildly speculate shit, ya autist
>>
>>26071914
no one knows about that or will assume that unless you explicitly tell them outright.
>>
>>26071914
Try and bring a backpack with you.
When you get to the room, quickly and discretely put the prostate stimulator in the bag and fill up the bag with some other junk.
If you are feeling confident, then try taking it home. If you feel worried anybody is gonna find it, just chuck it out, or hide it somewhere nobody will find it.
>>
>>26071914
put in inside your burger king soda and throw it out.seriously.
>>
>>26071914
i you asked me to leave for a minute i would assume dildos
>>
>>26071914
Hide it up your ass.
>>
Make up some lie about wanting to clear out girls underthings so as to be a gentleman. Or wanting to take out the waste bin in your bedroom first. Etc etc.
>>
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>>26071914
>Would it be suspicious if I asked them to give me a minute to clear out some stuff before they go in?


GEE I WONDER WHATS WORST
HAVING MY MOM GET SUSPICIOUS FOR LIKE 5 SECONDS OR LET HER FIND MY MANHOLE STIMULATOR THREE THOUSAND FROM PHILLIPS
IM SERIOUSLY NOT AT ALL RETARDED FOR ASKING THIS QUESTION
>>
And I thought I was weird...
>>
>>26072068
>wanting to take out the waste bin in your bedroom first
This is best. Just imply normal things. Like all the cum paper that they'd expect from a fucking loser like yourself.
>>
Say u gotta take down some female posters senpai
They wouldn't suspect a thing and think you're at least a normal boy
>>
>>26071914
>Worrying about your faggy prostate stimulator, not the fact you fucking failed college and are getting kicked out

way to have your priorities straight, anon.
>>
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>tfw mom already found my sex toys
Stash it or trash it, man.
>>
how big is a prostate simulator you cant just put in your pocket?
>>
>>26072271
>worrying about shit that's passed and can't change
That's a really smart thing to do.
>>
>>26071914
Please do not stick things up your ass if you honestly consider yourself a straight man and think your cousin is a qt.
>>
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>>26072290
Holy Shit, Jesus fuck... is that real pham.


Toasting in ebin thread.
>>
>>26072290
I don't believe your mom would pose all your sex toys, unless you were a woman. I do not think you are a woman, I think you took the pictures with a friend.
>>
>>26072290
>Mom!!
>What?
lol
>>
>>26072290
>amiibo
>gay manchild
M E M E
M A G I C
>>
>>26071914
I know you just want us to figure it out and this isn't a real situation. But the answer is to stick it up your ass OP.
>>
>>26072290
Jesus fucking Christ, man. Have you cut ties with her yet? I can't imagine looking in my mom's eyes ever again after something like this.
>>
>>26072446
Sadly it is.
>>26072489
I wish it were a joke Anon. She lined 'em all up for a picture (because I was working at the time), and then apparently had my stepdad bag them up and hide them on me.
>>26072545
Eggman can't save me now.
>>26072577
I stayed with her for a couple more months because poorfag with shit job. Things came to a head and I've been staying at my grandma's for a week now. The plan is to get a full time job, then save up and move out.

The best part is she was "putting my clothes away" while also "looking for weed" (I admitted I smoked a couple times after months of on and off questioning).
Thread posts: 24
Thread images: 4


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