>wake up at 3PM and roll out of my racecar bed >piss jugs

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>go into micky d's for some mid-afternoon tendies
>order my chicky-chicky tendy-wendies and ask for just a water cup because "i'm trying to shrink this tubby tummy" with a wink at the cashier
>walk over to the soda fountain, pour out the icewater, and fill it up with my super secret soda formula (it's coke, dr pepper, and just a smidge of hawaiian punch teehee)
>prance out while cackling maniacally before the normies can call the cops on me for soda theft
>go home and enjoy the spoils of war

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>>26070833
That was pretty good, I like how you changed the game by going TO the bitch instead of waiting for her to come back to you.

>>26070858
normies absolutely BTFO

>>26070833

/r/4chan2015 ok cool

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>>26070833
HAHAHA fuckin KEK'D and CAP'D XXD cant wait to post this on /r/4chan...see you on the front page sir lol

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When you were young
You were the king of chicken tendies
And how you built an empire in the KFC and scrumptious Wendy
In yummy dipping sauce pooling around your feet

And your mom would stick a fork right into those gold morsels
And feed you from her hand, her precious baby boy
As good boy points kept adding up till the next meal you'd try

Now this is the room
Your mommy said she'd always love you
And that she'd never want you to move out or go
Into the world, to get a chance to grow

And your dad would drink until he was half dead
And your mom would come up with brand new ways to fry
Those goldbrown nuggers without which you would certainly die
I LOVE YOU CHICKEN NUGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

CHICKY NUGS I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU YESSSS I DOOOOOOOOOOOO

I LOVE YOU CHICKEN NA-U-A-U-A-UGSSSSSSSSSS

CHICKY NUGS I LOVE YOU YES I DOOOOOO

From all the kinds I've tried
None of the dipping sauces lied
Whether they're breaded or they're fried
WITHOUT MY TENDIES I WOULD DIIIIIIEEEEEE

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Baby wakes up in the morning hungry for his tendie meal
He starts shouting for his mummy, and so loudly it's unreal
"Wanna eat my chickie tendies, so please give them to me now,
And don't forget to bring the ranch, you fat, ungrateful cow"
Mummy comes in with a smile on her face
"Just a second hun", sounds like she knows her place
After just a minute comes my favorite food in bed
And I sit there eating chicken, happy baby has been fed

Mummy comes back later for my dirty dish and plate
And now I need more tendies to properly satiate
So I throw the plate at mummy and I tell her what I need
But I threw the plate so hard at her that she began to bleed
Mummy took my good boy points away
And she told me that I will be grounded for today
This is an injustice for the good boys everywhere
Time to release plan B inside of my underwear

I sit in my bed and then I have to concentrate
And release manifestation of my overwhelming hate
And when all is said and done,that is when I begin to bawl
Mummy comes back in, because she's at my beckon call
I watch her face when she smells the smell
"This is it dear mummy, this is my personal hell"
"Baby made a poo poo and needs mummy to change"
"Don't forget my good boy points, cuz I yelled out your name"

The morally of the story is that baby's always right
Gotta put mummy in place when she puts up a fight
She will try to ground you, but try as she might
When she messes with baby there is no end in sight
Cherry Coke is such a joy
To go with chicky tendies for mummy's little boy
And in the morning we will do this all again
That's why daddy left us, as he is not our friend

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> be me
> 28 years old NEET
> raised as an only child
> I caused mummy and daddys divorce
> nothing matters except the scrumptious taste of tendies
> GOLDEN BROWN TENDY TOWN TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN
> mfw its 03:00am
> eww mummy is sleeping with nasty landlord
> mummy I'm hungries
> yell into intercom for snackitysnacks
> CLAIM THE MEAL OF THE CHICKEN GODS!! ITS TENDY TIME!!
> her tired voice reponds with "PISS OFF SWEETY MOMMY IS WORKING!!"
> insolent woman I know there are tendies in the freezer bring me my tendies
> challenging me at this hour?
> keep chanting for the tendies that are rightfully mine
> evil jew landlord tells mummy to shut me up
> naughty man. Making mummy's ladylettuce smell like sardines
> The war has begun.ctn
> enter sunrise. All Preparations are complete.
> nullifying any chance of escape I reeeee into mummies "office" on my valiant reinforced electric wheelchair
> douse jew in two jugs of poopyjuice before he can activate his spells
> evil jew is unable to battle!
> ram him into the corner and then leap off of my valiant steed and mount mummy's face
> NO NO NO NO NO NO MUMMY! YOUR PUNISHMENT MUST BE MORE SEVERE!!
> "URGH! YOU'RE CRUSHING ME SWEET-- OH GOD HELP ME PLEASE NO!!"
> Groan as I release a big boy turd so nasty her fingernails begin to peel backwards
> gaze into her eyes as the impact sends mummy into panic attack
> expel the last of my poopies on the sheet. How many times must I break you?
> tidy up my toys and waddle into kitchen to await my spoils
> slithery jew slithers out of my castle and says we don't need to worry about rent ever again
> mummy finally arrives visibly shaken and broken inside
> opens the freezer to make my tendies and blows them until they are cool
> "mummy you have to chew them for me"
> mummy breaks down in tears and screams for death
> yawn, give myself 5 extra gbp and fall asleep without eating them.

what the hell is wrong with you people? how can you do this to your very own mothers? you are one horrible person. fuck you im leaving 4chan forever.

>>26072078
its satire, calm down

>>26070833
>not breastfeeding into adulthood

>>26072139
Ha-ha wtf mane?

>>26071167
so underrated

originaru commento

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tendies is a dead meme
GBP is a dead meme
piss jugs is a dead meme
poo poo pee pee is a dead meme

go home

>>26072580
where were u when memes was kill
i was at home making peee in pe pe bottle
mummy whisper "meme is kill"
no

>>26070833

i enjoyed this heartily, thank you op

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>4 am, right in the middle of my 5 nights at freddy's session
>happy tummy full of tendies
>suddenly my pee pee feels funny and tickles from the inside
>"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYY"
>she doesn't respond, she's been eating a lot of sleep-candies since when second daddi left (she promised she'll share with me soon enough yay! )
>i'm forced to waddle out of my 80 GBP gaming chair and go in her room while screaming "PEEEEEE PPEEEEEEEEEEEE FIZZY MUMMY HELP BABYYY GUU"
>the stress of this causes my belly to relax and I let out a steaming brown log in my XXL diapey (i'm mummys big boy, she always says that :))
>i lay in her bed while she looks at me in horror and disgust
>"mummy my pee pee feels tickly, need pee pee funny dance"
> tears are falling on her cheeks, she closes her eyes and starts taking my diaper off
>the smell of 2 days old diarrhea smeared on my hairy asscheeks makes her gag
> i let out a teehee while saying "mummy belly burp!"
>then, while sobbing, she grabs my pee pee stick and starts going up and down
>my smegma crusted foreskin hardly retreats while tear drops fall on my belly
>i let out my funny-happy milk on her hand "OOHUUHHHHHHU PEE PEE IS GLAD, I MADE IT FOR MUMMYY"
> "you're my special little baby boy, thank you for your gift to mommy" says her, while becoming red in face from happiness
> i leave her room and the diaper on her bed and go back to my gaming session
> the next day she's still tired and sleeping on her bed
i wonder when she'll wake up, maybe she's preparing a surprise for babby boy gu? so many GBP await me for not waking her up!!

>>26073094
How good a gaming chair can you get for a mere 80 GBP?

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>playing RuneScape online
>Antifire runs out, die
>Scream and punch my wall, putting another hole in it (they stopped getting fixed when dad left)
>Fucking normalscum mom yells up to me "Anon, please stop getting mad at your nintendo! Pause it and come down for din-dins!"
>Yell back "FUCK OFF MOM IT'S NOT A NINTENDO AND I CAN'T PAUSE IT I NEED TO GET MY ITEMS BACK BEFORE THEY DESPAWN"
>All the while I'm running back (~200k risk)
>DISCONNECTED FROM SERVER
>Start screaming, run downstairs, tripping over my pissjugs
>Mom is standing by the router, dumb bitch turned it off
>"Now, anon, I'm sorry I had to do that, but Doctor Shekelstein says I need to set limits-"
>Cock my fedora back and punch that smug cunt in the neck
>She drops to the ground with a gasp and just lies there shaking
>I start screaming, stamping my feet and turtleheading
>She pushes past me on the way to her room
>Yell "OW BITCH YOU HURT ME!" and start crying
>She ignores me, locks herself in the room
>I follow her, still crying, stand outside her door and start kicking it, chanting "YOU DON'T LOVE ME MOMMY YOU DON'T LOVE YOUR GOOD LITTLE BOY"
>She begs me to leave her alone
>I tell her I'm hungry and she's starving me and if she doesn't get me some tendies right fucking now i'll report her for child abuse
>She tells me dinner is on the table
>It's fucking broccoli and meatloaf and shit
>Start pounding on her door and demanding the tendies I am owed
>Eventually get tired, bitch isn't responding, curl up on the floor outside her door and fall asleep to the sound of her quietly sobbing on the other side
>Wake up in my own bed, tucked in, a note on my lamp:
>"Sweetie, you made yourself sick and messed yourself, so I changed you and bathed you while you were asleep, I hope you don't mind. I'm sorry. I love you, you're my special little guy. Don't ever stop being my little boy, honey. I'll love you forever. Please forgive me."
>Plate of tendies on my nightstand
tfw mummy really luvs her baby boy

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>mummy brings home my tendies
>exchange some GPB for a plateful
>mummy presents me with my glorious, steaming tendies
>ask for ranch
>SHE FORGOT THE FUCKING RANCH
>bitch brings me spicy gourmet ketchup and assures me it's just as good
>refuses to go back to the store or refund my GBP
>fucking cunt crossed a line
>take the spicy ketchup and spray it into her eyesand nose
>shove the bottle in her mouth and empty the rest
>IS THIS JUST AS GOOD MUMMY? IS IT?

Now I'm happily eating my, now reheated, tendies with ranch

pic related its the tendies

>>26073094
What the hell kind of name is Guu?

>wake up because getting too lazy to even dream nowadays
>Artificial nutrition and hydration feeding tubes are running empty
>roll over to mobility scooter
>scoot over to refrigerator
>battery dies half way
>still 10 feet away
>yell for mother in a desperate plea for help
>no answer
>she must be at her wageslave job slaving away to get my tendie money
>internally laugh because too much effort is required to use my cheek muscles
>look at dog
>near starvation
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur

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>be peaceful NEET
>living in ancestral basement and using every part of the tendy
>cleanface normie called Mommy comes down
>used to be nice, traded goodboy points and Mountain Dew in exchange for emptying urine jugs in the great plains of the backyard
>now says it's her basement, time for me to get job like the normie man, cut greasy hair and wear clothes from American Eagle and Urban Outfitters
>tell her this not my basement or hers, all belongs to the Great Waifu, no want dress like the normie man, the wa-uh ayge-ku'k in our language
>Mommy say she's had enough, going to call someone
>two days later normie man in suit come, say he from the courthouse, gives me what he says is "eviction notice," that house belong to Mommy
>realize Mommy has broken our treaty
>grab my Katana and whoop out a mighty war RRRRRREEEEEEE and chase normie man
>manage to slice off some hair before he runs out of basement
>affix hair to wall with tape and perform mighty scalp dance for my tribe of Japanese cartoon plastic figurines
>Mommy says she calling the cleanfaces in blue clothes to come arrest me
>taking me to the NEET reservation called in their language 'Men-tell-hospit El.'
>mfw

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>Save up over 5000 Pretty Princess Points
>It was tough , but its enough for a trip to disney world
>trip goes smoothly, Mommy and Daddy get me whatever I want
>Ask for some tendies before the flight home
>fucking casual airport restaurant doesn't serve them
>flying home on airplane
>People are going to pay if I dont get my way
>Normie flight attendant serves us A FUCKING COLD HAM AND CHEESE SANDWICH
>Meanwhile First class is getting hot crispy chicken tendies
>Refuse to eat my shit sandwich
>Mommy and Daddy pleading with me to calm down
>tell them I'm going to start scratching and biting strangers again if I dont get some delicious chicken tendies
>Mommy pleads with stewardess
>FINALLY get my tendies
>Stupid normie pilot lands halfway home
>at least I got my tendies
>They say it was an emergency landing for the safety of the passengers
>Damn right it was for the safety of the other passengers

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>be last week
>playing with my dollies as usual
>daddy comes into my room and offers me 100 Pretty Princess Points if i agree to stay with mummy for the weekend
>'NO, I WANT TO STAY WITH DADDY AND PLAY WITH DOLLY'
>'femanon please, mummy just got out of the psych ward and hasn't seen you since the divorce'
>scream EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE as loud as I can
>daddy just grabs me and drags me to the car
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>when we're in the driveway I take my shirt off and start squeezing milk out of my boobies
>daddy slips on the milky and smashes his head on the car
>then my neighbour, a 6ft tall rugby player comes outside to ask about the noise
>period myself and start screaming DADDY TOUCHED MY SPECIAL PLACE
>daddy struggles to his feet and tries to explain, but the rugby man punches him in the face and knocks him out cold
>he brings me inside and calls the police
>now daddy never, EVER, forces me to see mummy
>I even got extra PPP for not telling anyone what happened

tee hee, silly daddy

>>26075498
Actually happened:

https://gma.yahoo.com/woman-claims-she-daughter-autism-were-kicked-off-151716493--abc-news-topstories.html

>>26072139
Your autism is showing.

You speak of satire, friend but you're b8ted

>>26073094
The best. If anyone gonna leddit do this one

I don't have a mommy to get GBP ;---;

Bumperinoriginalcommentofuckoffmodsoooo
More Stories plzzzzzzzzzz

>>26070858
>implying McDonalds soda fountains would ever have coke and dr pepper
immersion RUINED

>>26070833
>"ayo wut tha fuck this nigga-"

Loooooool

>Wake up at 6pm
>Pull myself to my encrusted laptop and check the date
>It's tuesday
>TENDIE TUESDAY
>Erupt from my chair and start running up the stairs from my basement
>Trip on 4 piss jugs that I never put the caps on
>Heh, normiese BTFO
>Race to the kitchen
>My tendies aren't there
>My tendies. Aren't. There.
>Suddenly moms comes in from the front door
>She looks exhausted, probably rode the cock carousel dumb bitch
>Has the audacity to sit down without making my tendies
>Walk up to her
>"Where are my tendies mom? How am I supposed to eat?"
>She tells me she's sorry and had a long day at work but will make them soon
>At this point I've fucking had enough
>Grab her head with both hands and start vibrating her head while screaming in her ears "MY TENDIES WEREN'T THERE" over and over
>After I let her go she emotionlessly slumps back into the chair and doesn't say a word
>bitch finally knows her fucking place
>victory strut back to my room
>start getting hungry so check on her in 15 minutes
>she hasn't moved
>check in an hour
>she hasn't moved
>check in another hour
>she hasn't moved
>I'm still fucking hungry

>>26077884
>McDonalds NOT having coke

what kind of shit McDonalds do you eat at?

>>26073245

Like real money a single GBP's value varies from country. Sometimes even household.

>>26074002

Those are nuggies, friend.

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>9/10/2001
>Wake up
>"me and new daddy Jamal agree it's time for you to go on a diet"
>No tendies

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>barge into my little brother's room
>he's sitting at his computer
>angrily asks me what I'm doing barging into his room
>"Let me see it"
>"See what?" he asks
>"Your boner!"
>he gets a confused and scared look
>"Wh-what?"
>"I know you were just masturbating, show me the goods"
>he looks really scared as I march up to him
>"I'll trade you 5 Pretty Princess Points which can be converted into 20 GBP for a peek"
>he tells me he is too old for GBP
>he tells me to leave him alone
>he goes to get up but I push him back onto the bed and pin his shoulders
>I start chanting "SHOW ME YOUR COCK!" over and over as he looks away nervously and squirms
>he looks like he is going to cry
>he finally says "OK PLEASE JUST STOP"
>I sit back in his chair and assume a smug pepe pose
>he stands up and starts to pull down his stained gym shorts
>a sizable semi flops out
>"Get it all the way hard" I demand
>I can see tears forming in his eyes as he half heartedly strokes his penis
>I watch it grow longer and harder
>"wow you actually have a really nice cock" I say and he just stands there looking down
>I suddenly get up and smack the head of his cock to make it wobble back and forth
>"haha, just like daddy's!" I titter as I sprint out of the room
>I never even gave him the Princess Points, sucker got ripped off

Bumperinoletsgo

>wake up
>gibs tenders
>no tenders
>peepeepoopoo
>has tenders

plsupboat

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>be me
>be 28
>be NEET
>wake up at 7pm
>mummy has made dinner
>it's vegetables
>i hate vegetables
>refuse to eat it
>"well, you're going to go without dinner tonight, anon"
>she thinks she's won
>go back to my room
>hold myself over for a few hours on mountain dew
>wait till mummy is asleep
>start screaming "I WANT FOOD I WANT FOOD" as loud as I can
>mummy wakes up and stumbles to my door
>"anon what are you doing?!? It's midnight!"
>walk up real close to my door and stop screaming
>"anon, are you ok?"
>mummy opens the door
>me standing right there
>scream "I WANT FOOD!" two inches from her face
>she falls backwards into the hall
>keep screaming "I WANT FOOD" as I head to the kitchen
>start taking food items from the fridge and throw them all over floor
>throw gallon of milk onto the ground and it explodes
>mummy is pleading with me to stop
>"ONLY IF YOU GET ME TENDIES!"
>"GET ME TENDIES NOW. I WANT THEM NOW!"
>mummy crying
>"Why do you do this, anon?!? WHY?!"
>mfw I see her getting her car keys
>mfw she comes home with box of Raising Cane tendies
>mfw she'll never get rid of her little boy!

>>26078093
no dr pepper

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>>26077884
>>26079977
http://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en/food/full_menu/beverages.html

They have both.

>>26075014
Not fucking bad m9

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>wake up at noon
>had accident overnight which I rolled around in
>grab cum-towel off nightsand and do my best wipe it from my folds of fat
>tummy gurgles loudly, so hungry
>plop out of bed, navigate through shit jugs and piss bottles in my room
>waddle downstairs to check GBP board
>just enough Good Boy Points for some tendies and sauce
>legs buckle under own weight
>roll myself into the living room where mummy is watching her favorite soap opera
>"mummy mummy I have enough Good Boy Points for some tendies!"
>she turns to me with the most disgusting look on her face while I lay flat on the ground stuggling to get up
>"s-sure honey, le-let me just get some tendies for you"
>she struggles to go to the kitchen without vomitting from the smell and sight of my putrid, feces and semen covered body
>she pulls the tendies out of the freezer after letting the oven heat up as she begins to cry into the sink
>I roll over and pull myself up to my high chair that starts to creak as I sit down
>the tendies are done and she puts them on my plate
>she can't hold back the vomit as I open my mouth to eat some tendies and vomits all over my plate
>I can't let these tendies go to waste, so I eat them along with the vomit
>"yummy wummy tendies in my tummy, thanks mummy"
>high-chair finally breaks from my heft
>mum runs away to her room, sobbing unctrollably, so ashamed of her boy
>mfw

>>26080756
Well, that post depressed the hell out of me

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>wake up at 4pm with tummy grumbles
>been saving up my GBP to have a real tendy feast
>shuffle as fast as I can to mommy's room
>she's sitting in her chair looking at an old album of my baby photos and crying
>I break out in my favorite song
>"TENDIES ARE MY FAVORITE TREAT! NOW IT'S TIME FOR ME TO EAT!"
>she looks up dejectedly
>"A-anon, I'm not really up for getting tendies right now. Can't we get them later?"
>can't believe what I'm hearing
>I even passed up getting Amiibos with my GBP in anticipation of this meal
>"MY INTESTINES ARE FULL AND MY ANUS IS WET! A DAY WITHOUT TENDIES IS A DAY YOU'LL REGRET!
>"Wait, anon I-"
>I can see in her eyes that she already knows her words are too late
>"TENDIES WERE MY ONE DESIRE! NOW BEHOLD MY FECAL MIRE!
>liquid ex-tendies pour from my body and start to fill the room
>mommy's screams are drowned out by the caca-phony being emitted from my rumpus
>fast forward an hour and I'm eating all the Wendy's tendies my heart could desire

The key to dealing with normie moms is making sure that they know their place

>>26075014
This is the only actually original (and funny) post of this type i've seen in a long long time. Fucking nice job anon.

This thread has got me in the mood for some tendies of my own. Time to activate the bitch summoning stick!

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>>26081303
I recommend the Garlic Parm from Sonic senpai

>>26081485
No sonic in my state... Mummy had better get her ass on the road. It's going to be a looong day!

Damn, reddit. Get the fuck out already.

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>Wake up this morning feeling good
>Pull the special edition Battlestar Galactica blanket off my bed
>Tie it around my neck like cape
>Step over my piss bottles and old food containers
>It's an autistic ballet as I tip toe to the spots on my floor that aren't covered in garbage
>Finally make it out into hallway
>Rush to look at Good Boy chart on the wall
>MFW only 10 more points needed for a Double Tendie Dinner!
>Run downstairs so fast my cape floats behind me
>Do a running slide onto kitchen floor to tell Mummy the good news
>Mummy just looks at me sternly
>Says to bend over so she can check my diaper first
>"You know I have to check every morning, anon."
>"Nooooo! I don't wanna!" I cry out defiantly
>Tears start to well in her eyes
>She starts walking away from me
>"Wait...Ok..." I say as I lean over the table for her inspection
>Pull down my pants
>The smell of day old chunks of partially digested tendy shit and cheese diarrhea wafts to her nose
>She instantly vomits into the sink
>"That's minus 50 GBP!" she screams with her chin covered in puke
>"I screech and rip off the diaper
>Throw it onto the dining room table as hard as I can
>Orange and brown chunks splatter everywhere
>Some gets on the ceiling
>Some gets on mummy
>She curls into a ball sobbing uncontrollably next to the sink
>Reaches up for a towel but accidentally cuts herself on a kitchen knife I left out
>She's bleeding and covered in vomit and poo while screaming how I'm a bad boy
>Quickly put on my shoes and stuff my pockets with frozen tendies
>Run to my car crying because now I'm late for class at community college

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>wake up in my crib
>stretch out, my legs can barely fit between the bars
>as I move, I feel my poopoo sloshing around my diapers
>hmm, mommy seems to have forgotten to change me today
>my tummy rumbles
>look at clock besides GBP chart, 4:54 PM, almost time for my brekky
>I stand up in the crib and yell "RUMBLY-RUMBLY IN MY TUMMY, GIMME CHICKIE TENDIES MOMMY"
>no response
>mommy doesn't even care that her precious boy is hungies
>contemplate breaking my crib again, but I'm in a good mood since she
>yell again, still no response
>keep yelling for about an hour until my throat starts to hurt
>struggle to move my portly frame out of the crib
>waddle downstairs, chanting "CRISPY OUTSIDE, SOFT INSIDE, MOMMY MOMMY WHERE'D YOU HIDE" with each step
>I can see mommy's shadow, she's in front of the telly sleeping
>sit on her lap, my poo poo leaks on her under my weight
>STILL no response
>this has gone too far
>start shaking her
>"TEN-DIES, TEN-DIES, TEN-DIES, TEEEN-DIIIEEEES"
>amazing, she still hasn't woken up, the absolute NERVE of her
>notice she's holding a yellow tube, grab it
>it has small pieces of candy in it, but it's half empty
>selfish cunt doesn't even care that I'm a growing boy and need my sugar
>"be forewarned, mummy... this may suffice for now, but I expect tendies for din-din"
>shovel all the candy from the tube in my mouth
>fall fast asleeps just like mummy

>>26071167
Based Butter Milk Hotel

>>26081537
Thanks for the bumpy-wumpy! 50 good boy points for you!

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>Wake up early its 3pm
>Dont smell tendies in the air.
>I waddle to my door around the piss bottles.
>Start slamming my head into the wall and screaming TENDIES TENDIES I WANT TENDIES
>Slut bitch Mommy slowly opens the door to my lair
>With tears in her eyes she slides in my tendies and juice-box.
>I tell her icarly is on later so she better prepare the highest luxary goodboypoints can buy
>I make my way back to my bed exhausted from my journey across the room and back i rest
>my diaper seems almost full ill need a change before the big event later
>pondering what is going to happen in tonights episode i drift into slumber my little pony playing in the background
>I am awoken to mommy cleaning my piss jars up i tell her i need a diaper change aswell she nods with a look of disgust on her face
>Soon icarly will be on the grand event
>The theme songs starts playing i scream at mommy to hurry or ill murder her and feed her to our dog buttersnout
>Mommy enters my room she is dressed in appropriate apperal plaid shorts converss sneekers and a hoodie her hair dyed the perfect shade of blonde.
>Now my Good boy favorite boy reward rivaled only by tendies and juice boxes begins
>I wait for a scene with sam in it my favorite icarly character she is the best i then have mommy do her special service to me and pretend its sam
>i came five times tonight it was the best i finish by blowing on sams i mean mommy butt and tell that dirty slut to go make me SOME FUCKING TENDIES
>she starts walking away when a sight i never witnessed before appears before my eyes SAM IN A BIKINI JUST SHOWED ON AIR OMG
>With a speed of achilles i move like a lion and grab mommy before she makes it out of my lair
>I throw her on my computer desk and did adult things too her more then i ever thought i could
>when im finally finished mommy isnt moving
>icarly is over i lay down and start watching adventure time
>covered in my special sauce mommy starts crying
>i tell her GO GET ME FUCKING TENDIES

>>26083494
>buttersnout

I fucking lost it

>>26080756
>>had accident overnight which I rolled around in
What the fuck? Were you not wearing your diaper?

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>Wednesday afternoon
>tugging it to Nick Jr all day long
>Finish squeezing big boy gooey gunk from my winker
>Mumsies comes home from work
>Poo poo in my diapie due to excitement
>Earned 70 good boy points earlier today by promising not to empty my piss bottles on mumsie's bed while she was at work
>Expect delicious tendies immediately
>Squat walk downstairs with full diaper of excitement
>No good smell
>Mumsie looks upset
>Anon you're 43, I talked with a friend about getting you a job
>Fucking normie mom
>Remove my shit filled diaper and wield it like a sling
>IM A GOD BOY I HAVE GOOD BOY POINTS GIVE ME CHICKEN TENDIES
>Anon please..
>IM DAVIE YOURE GOLIATH
>Swing my shit sling at her
>Diaper falls apart and flings wet sloppy big boy chocolate all over the room
>Ring of fecies whips her in the eye and she falls do the ground recoiling and grabbing her face
>Slap her open handed and squat over her face
>YOUR LACK OF TENDIES SEALS YOUR DOOM, I LOOSE MY BOWELS WITH A BOOM!
>Queue a huge wet fart bubble followed by a mexican mudslide in the rainy season
>Literally pours over her face like a generous helping of tendie chilli
>She wipes it off her face and tries to gasp for air
>Quickly plug her shit covered mouth with my big boy weenie peenie
>GIVE ME EXTRA GOOD BOY POINTS OR ELSE ILL CHOKE YOU MUMSIE
>She spasms and mumbles what might be a yes
>Serves me tendies later while sobbing and promises to give me lots of good boy points
>mfw I put that bitch in her place

>>26070858
Pleb.
>not paying for the $1 ice tea then filling it with delicious Coke and whatever that orange shit is.

>>26071167
Two-Tendied Boy
All floating in poo
Mum and New Daddy have left you alone, so what's a poor NEETie to do
CATCHING TENDIES SHE MADE JUST FOR YOOOOUU

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>cover acne spot with makeup
>go to club
>walk over to group of girls
>"is he wearing make up?"
>girls start laughing at me
>start crying
>forget I don't have diaper on and piss myself
>whole club laughing at me
>run for door crying with piss dripping down leg
>come home and ask mommy for tendies
>tells me I can't because I haven't been a good boy and found a gf
>go into autistic rage and storm off to room to jack off
>cry self to sleep in a puddle of cum, piss, and tears

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>>26080996
>"TENDIES WERE MY ONE DESIRE! NOW BEHOLD MY FECAL MIRE!

>>26074251
>What the hell kind of name is Guu?
Chinese, maybe? I kinda sounds asian.

Or it could just be short for something.