>>26070154 wow you really do sound confused. i woke up at like 4 in the morning and felt like i had the flu until about noon. and then it completely stopped. i wonder if this is just "one of those days"
>>26070979 my father seems pretty distant tho. maybe he'll be glad i will not be around anymorr. my sisters also dont seem to care. i feel like im a bother to them. they do laugh at me and call me funny
>>26071092 both the router light and light from my phone charger keep grabbing my attention while im spinning in the dark. my left leg starts to feel weak and im feeling like im gonna collapse anytime now. i wont fall asleep though. im suprised im stamdong this ling without falling
>>26071121 im sitting now. now im looking back at my messages i feel like im attention whoring. i justfeel bad. i dont know what is going on. everytime i feel confused. everything sounds so fake. i usually keep it to my self. it is really distracting to fight the urge to not lose myself when im with other people. i wish i just fell asleep. even tho im keeping myself awake
>>26071179 its my fucking birthday today. i should be happy. people even remembered it. i dont want to see anyone now. i just want toctalk or something. keep myself distracted. i dont want to randomly roam
>>26071219 how doci keep filling these posts? i have nothing to say without anything tocinitiate the cconversation with. nobody will converse with me because its late. i dont know. maybe they just dont feel like talking
>>26071250 she is on sleeping pills. im afraid she tried to overdose since she fell asleep really early today. maybe its because she had a long day. so she wont wake up for a while to talk with me and keep me distracted
>>26071315 maybe i should've took up the offer for free morphine. maybe i would be happier and not so confused. i dont like feeling this way. i feel a lot calmer than 2 hours ago but i dont know what im doing still
>>26071353 i have noticed that im talking for 20 minutes or so right now. this is weird. i cant even concentrate on reading something longer than a few sentences. why can i continiously write shit like this?
>>26071423 usually im feeling like this i want to cut open my legs or stab a knife between my ribs and pull the out. or hammer in the room of my mouth. not today though. maybe thats because i have some people to talk to for the most of the day
>>26071483 i have an important exam tomorrow. i think i will just go to town and grab a bite to eat in the morning and then just return home when everyone is gone. then it will atleast be believable when i say that i went to school
>>26071515 i originally planned to get drunk before school and fuck my shit up. but i changed my mind. i dont think my father will appreciate that i went drunk to achool and arrested. maybe i still go through with it if i feel worse by the time im there
>>26071611 maybe i should just take the exam and see what happens. i will fail for sure. but atleast i got my attendance. people wont scream at me for being absent. not that i care. but its nice when people arent angry woth you
>>26071650 or dissapointed. i let everyone down for whatever reason. maybe i just cant see when people are happy with me because i dont talk with a lot of people. will people be sad if i died?i wont be a dissapointment anymore then. there will only be grief. its better in the long term
>>26071697 i wish i coukd talk. people probably think om shy or something. but there is nothing in my head to say. and when there is. i get confused and just keep it to myself. if i ever say something thats on my mind. people dont understand. not that i would underrstant. because i dont
>>26071746 im nearing the last pages. i just wanted to talk for a bit. i dont have anything to say or am interesting. i just want to talk. i will brb. maybe the tread will 404. i hope so instead of being arxhived. i want to fucking die
>>26072067 it sucks doesnt it? i wish i could just stop being confused. i could concentrate on other things like school and possibly work
>>26072074 i would. i planned to jump infront of a train. but there were other people around. and i just felt like too big of a bothrr if i went through with it. im glad i didnt commit suicide that day. i had fun that day
>>26072113 i was locked up during my childhood in some foster home thingy for autistic kids. we were only allowed to watch tv on sunday i believe. one day of the week. and it usually was stuff like the news too. so that doesnt really help
>>26072234 maybe i should talk to a professional. but not to these psychiatric wannabes that give out meme diagnoses here. i already have had too much of them. maybe i should look for someone in another country
my laptop is illuminating the room. it felt a lot better when i was roaming me room when it was pitch black. maybe i long for some kind of accident. maybe i'll die from the fall or get seriously injured
>>26072852 Try drinking water until you can't anymore When my dad would beat me I would lock myself in the bathroom and drink as much water as I could because I knew that I could control my intake of water no matter what he did I just made myself really fucking depressed
>>26073033 Idk it made me feel better because I had control. Confusion can come from a lack of direction or control. You become confused about life like >why am I here When you control something it can make you feel better I also just wanted to share that fucked up story cuz no one else listens
I have a list of things that it's always ok to do: brush my teeth, wash the dishes, do a few stretches, stuff like that. When I am seriously lost, I just head to the bathroom and brush my teeth. It's almost automatic now and never the wrong thing to do. Silly I know, but got me through some tough moments.
>>26072945 thank you again. the nature sounds are really relaxing. good call. im enjoying this
>>26073104 interesting. so you're basically distracting yourself with things that are always to do? i probably wouldnt be able to do that without breaking down in the middle of what im doing.
>>26073132 sure thing. i dont really have a lot of things that made me happy. the only thing that made me really happy was meeting my current friend in highschool. interacting with him made me happy. what has made you happy in the past?
>>26073143 as i said earlier. i didnt really do anything today. so no facts. I honestly feel like i would be a better person if i had atleast something to talk about. but i dont.
>>26073193 I used to have a pretty cool cactus that I took care of for a long time... When it bloomed the top would turn pink. You're friends asleep you said? did you ever have any pets? I can't really have pets because I'm irresponsible but if you get a cactus you only have to water it like once a month
>>26073311 Idk it was a tiny one but my mom tipped it over and i couldn't replant it... Why don't you get a cat? It might give you direction like you won't be confused about feeding the cat you know it needs to be fed...They're kind of expensive but I heard they're easy as shit to take care of
>>26070033 >try to go out and make friends >realise I have nothing to talk to normalfags about because I'm an autistic weeb >no way of finding other weebs because they're all shutins anyway >not autistic enough for the anime club
>>26070580 It's true. First year of uni and no social life at all.
>>26073542 Well I'm only half joking, I've always struggled in school, what with my lack of motivation, and I'm fairly certain I have a learning disorder, but it's never been officially diagnosed, so I'm not gonna be one of those people.
I've had a friend for a long time who is a 9/10 kissless virgin. She's one of the coolest people I've ever met yet has somehow never been in a relationship.. when asked she just said she's never been "inspired to". I seriously think I'm in love with her and she's all I ever think about. I know she doesn't feel that way about me.. How do I stop being so in love with her robots?
>>26073966 I liked the thread 2. I was honestly feeling really shit before I opened the thread. Its not so much confucsion anymore so much as self loathing and sadness. I don't really feel things most of the time so its a bit much to deal with.
>>26074034 She's not. We have a bunch of mutual friends. They all know she's never been in a relationship. We're all baffled by it because it seems like everyone is in love with her and she rejects every one of them.
>>26073990 I dont think we live in a simulation. i feel this life is too dark and grim for it to be a simulation
>>26073997 i think stimulating drugs would help to get something in your mind? i dont like medication tho.
>>26074014 >when asked she just said she's never been "inspired to" this is a weird answer. if i were you i would try to get other stuff in life done. if you're in school focus on school. stuff like that
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