How can anyone who has/had a gf have low self esteem when there is literal proof that they are good enough for someone?
>MFW someone who is loud, extroverted and has had gfs claims they are """"insecure""""
The problem with self-esteem is that, for most people, it is directly connected to something external. For example, their appearance, or their relationships, or their achievements. However, this is ultimately harmful and unsustainable. The trick is to DISCONNECT your self-esteem from all external factors, and RECONNECT it to your inherent value as a human being.
It's only zero if you believe it. Human brains are retarded, just slightly above animal brains, and can be tricked and twisted into all sorts of things. You can tell yourself nice things and your brain will believe them and you'll feel good about yourself. Or, you can tell yourself mean things, and your brain will believe them, and you'll feel bad about yourself. It's a feedback loop. And even if the negative things that you believe about yourself are objectively true, and you really do have 0 inherent value, so what? Would you rather be happy and deluded, or miserable but knowing the truth? Unless you're channelling the latter into some kind of dark art project or something, why wouldn't you go with the former?
because while all my friends are out banging 350 girls a week, I'm in a long term relationship with a girl I really like. Also my first girlfriend.
I feel bad because I see less attractive guys fucking better looking girls than them, but when I was unattractive I got 0 attention and I had to work to improve myself to a point where people found me attractive. Probably because I'm socially retarded and can't just chat up girls like my friends do.
Additionally, once you start with the self improvement thing you never feel like you're good enough. You wake up, look in the mirror and think oh no, my face is looking puffy today and start worrying about what people will think (even though most people likely wouldn't notice at all)
That said, I agree that self esteem issues are much worse for people who've never had someone show interest in them.
>Additionally, once you start with the self improvement thing you never feel like you're good enough. You wake up, look in the mirror and think oh no, my face is looking puffy today and start worrying about what people will think (even though most people likely wouldn't notice at all)
Self improvement should be limited to just physical things, you need to work on your mental health as well. People don't get in amazing physical shape without exercising, and people don't get in amazing mental shape without "exercising."
truth is like poetry, and most people fucking hate poetry...
the reality is, every single human being on this planet has no real value, every single one, telling yourself "good things" to trick your brain into being happy only works so far till you realize, there is absolutely no reason to live for, you have to find something to live for, be it pussy, money, or what ever.
And that is the only truth that most people deny and do not accept.
so yeah i am miserable and want to kill myself everyday, because i don't have things to live for, i have absolutely no reason to be alive.
only thing that's stopping me is my parents being still alive. otherwise i would have already booked it.
Because if you go by the "had a girlfriend" standard, you then face the fact that you were rejected AFTER she had a chance to get to know you. And that, for me, is the reason I feel like shit about myself. Knowing that I'm good looking enough and not outwardly autistic enough to drive off women at first, but the fact that my personality will eventually grate on them, day by day, as they slowly become less interested in me, and they slowly desire me less and less, and they slowly like me less and less, until one day they finally decide to break up with me. Because I wasn't good enough for them. And I can't say that they didn't give me a chance or get to know the real me. They did. That's the problem. They got to know the real me and the real me wasn't good enough.
Does that answer your question? Can you stop having such a narrow-minded and naive view on what makes a person confident and happy with themselves now?
You can't determine your self worth on whether or not you've been dumped, almost everyone has been dumped at some point or another
that being said I don't agree with OP's point either