Post the time you BTFO a normie
>Couple months ago
>Get invited to a party by my female neighbor
>She knows i have no friends
>I arrive, about 25 people there.
>They have a BBQ going, all drinking alcohol.
>I see her as i walk in, she says hello, how i am etc.. and to enjoy my self
>I go out the back and head on outside
>I get a Styrofoam cup and pour some scotch
>Tried to interact with people but no one wants to talk to me, or i get vague answers and always have to start the conversation.
>Had enough of the pathetic party, and watching all the guys feeling up all the females
>Decide to get my Styrofoam cup and a fork with me and hide them in my pocket.
>Ask the owner where the toilet is and she guides me
>I take a shit, get the fork and cup out and put some of my shit in the cup.
>I open the door slightly to see if anyone is in the living room and to see if the hallway is clear.
>It's clear, so i flush it.
>And run in the living room and hide the shit filled cup behind the TV stand.
>I then proceed to go back outside and tell her that i want to go home and that im not feeling well
>Anyway next day i see her outside with a can of free-breeze and ask her how shes going and what shes doing.
>She tells me there's some fecal smell in the house she cant get rid of and doesn't know where it is coming from, and said people at the party were complaining.
>Fast forward two days later, we spot each other and i ask about the smell and if it's fixed.
>She replies" YEAH, some fucking retard decided to take a shit in a cup and hide it behind the TV stand"
>and that her house literally stinks on shit
>I try to comfort her and tell her she will catch the sicko one of these days in the act and walk off.
>That was the first time in 7 years i felt good about my self. Still amused at how stealthy i was and that she still doesn't have any idea who it could have been.
Well played anon, gave me a hearty chuckle
>girl invites me to a party
>be an autist who doesn't know how to socialize
>ruin her party
>make her smell of shit
and you guys wonder why you don't have a gfs. btw, they know it was you
>weirdo comes in
>spills spaghetti for half an hour
>later it turns out somebody left shit behind the tv
They know. The only reason the girl didn't say anything is because she can't prove it, and because girls are extremely non-confrontational, especially with men, and even more so with weird men.
>got invited to a New Year's party by a girl I've known for a while
>never been to one other than my family's
>pretty fun, some guys I know are there, we talk and have fun, all is cool
>girl who invited me gives me drinks and is kind of flirty and slaps my ass on 3 separate occasions
>at one point see her leaning over to get something and I slap her ass in return, she gives me a smirk
>suddenly her faggot male feminist beta orbiter appears and starts shouting at me "DUDE BRO THAT'S NOT COOL BRO SHE DID NOT CONSENT TO THAT BRO C'MON MAN THAT'S ALMOST RAPE"
>just stare at him confused
>girl awkwardly tells him it's okay we were just playing around
>beta fuck starts crying and tells her it's not okay for men to touch her like that
>other people are watching us, I feel awkward as fuck and I hate being the center of attention
>eventually beta leaves in a fit and one of my friends tells me he had asked her out a few weeks ago and is obsessed with her
>end up fucking her and losing my virginity
Best New Year's ever desu, I actually doubt she would have fucked me if not for beta bitch sperging out on me. Gotta thank him for that.
You were a social pariah at the party you attended, when she found the shit and probably told her friends about it, they would blame you, since you are the odd one; you have no friends nor a group where someone could back up saying you didn't do it.
She knows, her friends know, you just lowered yourself to another level of loneliness.
Kek, I'm not the one who shit in a plastic cup in some autistic fit. This retarded story has nothing do with me, nor does it affect me in any way. Just don't wonder why nobody invites you to parties or why you have no friends.
Do you really think they aren't smart enough to figure that the awkward, odd-one-out loser who ditched out after using the toilet wasn't the one who shat in the cup?
For fucks sake.
>Packed up all the food because it's 15 minutes to close
>Normie 8/10 girl comes up
>"Can I still get food?"
>Blatantly tell her no
>"Please? It's only 10:45"
>Tell her we stop serving food after 10:30pm
>Normie gives me a mixed look of contempt and disappointment
>Tell her she should have come 15 minutes earlier.
Are you fucking kidding? Some girl invites him into her house and because he's a socially retarded spastic he can't deal with it so he shits in a cup instead of just making excuses and leaving?
He deserves to be shamed and made fun of, he's mentally defective.
There's nothing wrong with being a bit awkward and not liking mainstream people.
There IS something wrong when you decide the best way to deal with that is to shit in a cup and ruin someones house.
literally just fuck off moron
>Three girls sat at our table courtesy of my idiot fucking friend who tried to do nothing but get laid
>They start insulting some other guy we were chatting to across form us, insulting his sideburns.
>He, like most men these days, be's a beta cunt about it and say 'W-well, I'll take that as a compliment' and leaves
>My rage when these fags insulted a s ound guy
>My rage when that sound guy is like a lot of other men, passive beta fucks
>Also I'll note I am not in any way alpha or a hard tough guy bit of a coward really but when I see things like that I always get angry enough to overcome it.
>Calmly I asked the three of them their names but then jumped in straight away and said 'Oh I already know, It's from left to right The Grinch, Jabba and Hammerhead (I was insulting their physicality)
>They then went into that girl mode where they think they can fire back but everytime I cut them down and the guys I was with were laughing really hard albeit secretively because they too were a bit passive.
Long story short, they made up an excuse to throw ice cubes over me and slap me twice in the face because I was roasting them so badly and even while that was happening I was still taking the piss out of them. One girl was saying 'omg he's still laughing and being cockY!'
Eventually they asked to just forget about it and I called the Jabba girl out for resorting to violence while everyone was just having a laugh and insulting each other and that she's hypocritical for doing that as she started by insulting that sideburn fella.
They then offered me shots and done that girl thing where they start taking selfies with you and the Jabba girl even got really close to me as well and in the end, they say 'Oh we met our match tonight' I guess as I've called, they do that a lot but never expect the BETA FAGGOT fucks to roast them back. Makes me made that people just sit there and take it.
It was a definite BTFO because they offered me drinks, apologised.
>neighbors having party
>loud hip hop music
>ruining my sleep
>put empty beer bottles in bag
>break them in my kitchen
>go outside and spread glass by neighbors house on sidewalk
>go back in
>call the cops
>report loud party
>report people throwing bottles on street
>report drug use and underage drinking
>"ok, sir. We're on the way"
>police show up
>party gets shut down
>drunken chad screaming shit postures aggressively at cops
>gets taken to the ground
>pandemonium as cops make more arrests
>normie party goers BTFO
>mfw watching from a crack in my blinds
>mom forces me to do fucking basketball so I can be like my Chad brother
>this one team member was really good
>he was a show off Chad piece oh shit
>I sucked, ran the wrong way during games, was slow, always got spaghetti all over the court
>coach makes us 1v1 each other
>pairs me with show off chad
>looks at me with the snuggest look like he's sure to beat me
>I sperg out and just shoot the ball
>made it from 3pt line
>Chad looks crushed
>he starts trying to hang out with me but I ignore him
>10 years old or so
>Girl bullies me for "being fat" despite having a second chin herself
>We need to clean the saddles
>Put a lot of fat (we cleaned the saddles with it) on the saddle she is going to use
>After horseback riding she has 2 huge spots on her butt
>Her pants got ruined, she needed new ones
I'm not very good at this
Gtfo out of here tumblerine normie
If you dont have the balls to shit in a cup, youre lower than a shit tier loser
>neighbor has loud ass dog
>can't sleep because this dog sleeps outside and is basically in a cage because my ex-neighbor's are hunters
>I'm tired of this shitty dog
>buy raw red meat from the store
>spray it with the poisonous cold stuff you put on windows
>throw meat into the cage with the dog
This was 13 years ago and I regret killing a dog but I didn't want my neighbors slaughtering me for calling the police for abusing a dog
>be at party with normies and chad roommate
>gril compliments me on my weight loss (60 lbs in 6 months, feels good man)
>playing twister, our butts rub together
>asks me if I want to go to the bedroom
>sperg out and just tell her no
>to be fair, she was a whore and I would have been too drunk to do anything about it anyway
>she was confused the whole time, and kept on looking at me inquisitively, wondering how someone could reject her.
>Work at a mid size tech company
>At some point HR gets bitten by the "diversity" fly and decides we need more women programmers
>My boss, tired to dealing with HR, kicks this shit onto my desk after giving them the requirements we have for new programmers
>As company custom, I write up a number of programming tasks anyone qualified should be able to solve and pass them onto HR
>HR immediately complains about them and I have to remind them of this being company policy for hiring new programmers
>Eventually get about 20 assignment solutions dumped on my desk for checking
>Only 5 of them actually work and with one of them I find that the woman went to stackoverflow and asked them to solve it for her
>Tell HR to hire the 4 who were actually able to solve the task
>They get seriously pissed off at this and after some back and forth they invite the remaining 4 for in-person interviews as per company policy
>During the interview have them read some code, explain what it does and answer some questions about the code and the technologies and languages that we use
>Turns out two didn't do their assignments themselves and one even admits to this
>End up suggesting they hire one of the two remaining women
>HR once again gets pissed off, expecting that they would have hired all 4 interviewees after telling them that the interview was a formality
>They try to bitch to my boss, who won't budge
The woman we hired did know her shit, but I doubt HR enjoys the fact my boss made me his go-to guy for hiring new people and the person HR talks to first before contacting him on anything.
>>she was confused the whole time, and kept on looking at me inquisitively, wondering how someone could reject her.
it hurts them when a man refuses them.
next time, wait until she is nude (but stay clothed as long as possible) and look at her and then leave without apologizing nor saying why.
Tell this story to some coworker when chatting next to the printer on the coffee pause you boring corporate fag. You just did your job correctly, no normies came to hurt for fucks sake.
This is minor, but very sweet. Nice one anon, you did good.
kek, that would have been good. To be fair, she was a whore, but she wasn't a horrible person.
>This is minor, but very sweet. Nice one anon, you did good.
Thanks f.a.m, most of what I do is minor, but I do what I can to prepare for the beta uprising.
>Thanks f.a.m, most of what I do is minor, but I do what I can to prepare for the beta uprising.
Through small dutiful steps selected with great care, we achieve great things. Keep fighting that fight, anon - uprising is upon us and we all must do our part.
good work, anon. fuck those cunts