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This board is so fucking dead right now.
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 68
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This board is so fucking dead right now.
Just tell me what's on your mind, what you're doing, anything.
>>
>>26057376
I'm thinking about getting fucked in the butt while wearing girl's clothes
>>
wondering why rei isn't there
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Thinking about killing myself, riding the train
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>>26057376
Wondering why I'm alive, not asleep yet, and browsing.
Life is fucked 2bh
>>
You know that jimmy eat world song "23"?

I started listening to that song when I was 14.
23 seemed so far away.

"You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets"

I'm 26 now.

I'm taking increasingly dangerous jobs in hopes that I'll either find fulfillment or die in some accident.
>>
I can never properly express what's on my mind. When I try it's always a mess.
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>>26057418

If you also leave the money you save up from these jobs to some charity then you are enacting my preferred method of suicide.
I'm too much of a pussy to end it myself, too.
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>>26057455
I'm going out in debt. I will suck what enjoyment I can from material things.
>>
I may or may not owe my university an extra $8000 over the next couple days

What fun
>>
Just lost 6 solo ranked matches in Dota 2, I have never gotten mad at this game before and I am not mad now but this feels bad.
Two games thrown by players who got angry.
One because a player disconnected and he was important.
One because we had a really stupid player.
One because I played pretty bad.
And now on the last one I got 600 ping because of an unknown reason.
Considering quiting Dota, just realized I probably wouldn't even mention it if you asked me about my favorite games.

All I want to do is go running but my thigh joint is fucked up and hurts too much. I feel like I can't do anything right.

>>26057396
dollposter

>>26057418
I wish you the best.
>>
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>>26057376
The Supreme Gentleman is on my mind.
Still thinking about those rare Elliots released a few weeks ago.
>>
What is the meaning of life?
I can't find any reason why we Humans are alive.
>>
I find I like to talk about stuff in my life by offering advice to others at the same time but whatever.

Does anyone else find that spending too much time on the computer makes you sort of disconnected from reality? A year ago I was in a really good place, and it lasted until just last month. I'm back where I was, waking up, going on computer, going to bed, repeating. I must say after even a week of doing this again I'm very disconnected from the world even when I'm not on the computer, like I'm constantly distracted by something and can't focus on anything.

A year ago I was almost the complete opposite person that I am now and I'm watching myself spiral down quickly. I haven't put weight on yet and god forbid I do but I'm losing my strength fast. I'm also getting pimples and have a lot less energy and I fap easily ten times as often as before.

I don't know how you guys live like this.
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>>26057613
>I haven't put weight on yet and god forbid I do but I'm losing my strength fast.
You need to go lift anon.
The same thing happened to me, the spiral of demotivate, and abandonment of physical fitness.
Now I'm dadbod tier and can barely bench 1pl8 and hate myself more than when I was obese.
Go lift at least.
>>
>>26057613
You just described my life tbqh
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>>26057400
Why do you want to kill yourself?
How's the train?
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>>26057613
the computer, this board, is a symptom of a bigger problem, not a cause.
I find myself here when I'm fucking up, I don't fuck up because I come here.
When shit is going well I don't come here. When it's 4am and I'm still procrastinating a paper due in 6 hours by coming here I know I'm in a bad spot.
What really fucks with my mind though is that knowing this changes nothing.
I can know I have anxiety, I can know I shouldn't be wasting my time doing X or doing Y but it's like I have no control over my actions.
I'll close my browser window 3 dozen times but just keep coming back.
Personally I think it's a struggle against lack of control. I don't control my life and what I do, I'm controlled by obligations. So if I deliberately fuck around I feel at least a little bit in control.

Take for example reading. Last semester I was reading some literature that was eventually gonna be required for a class this semester. I had no concrete due date, I was just reading for fun. Then when this semester started and I knew I had to have the book read by X date, I completely shut down and stopped reading. I liked the book. I would read this book outside of school for my own enjoyment. But that simple requirement completely destroyed my willingness and to some degree my ability to read it.
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>>26057636
I tried lifting quite a few times, never got into it. I used to work for my dad in a cabinet shop so that's where any muscles I had came from. I like being skinny anyways, I don't have to eat very much.

>>26057641
What are you doing to change things?

>>26057680
I agree 100% that the computer and this board are symptoms, but I think staring at a screen is what makes me feel all disconnected.

Yeah, fuck procrastinating. Screwed me over so many times. I think you're onto something with the lack of control thing. What are your parents like? Were you controlled and sheltered to the point of having almost no freedom?
>>
Probably gonna kill myself soon.

Running out of reasons to live
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>>26057376
Just finished. This is the worst game I've ever played. Story is absolutely shit. Can't multiplayer because tiny ass country or something, no one joins the game. What a waste of forty bucks.
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>>26057750
what game
i hope it's very original
>>
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I woke up this morning, went out of my room, ate breakfast, watched a movie, came back in my room to shitpost on 4chan and a dead mouse was laying there on the floor

dumbass mouse got btfo
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>>26057578
The physical reason we are alive is because early organisms evolved over many millions of years into humans. The abstract reason of why we are alive is the same as "What should I do with my life" and is entirely up to you. If there was a hidden meaning of life, and you spent your life doing your own thing, would your life be any less meaningful? I think not.
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>>26057735
Well my parents are controlling people, but I don't feel like I had a very controlled childhood.
That's the rub of it though, I can't remember much, and even the stuff I do remember doesn't strike me as odd because that's just the way it is.
I do remember doing a lot of things not because I specifically wanted to but because they just sort of put me in that position and I wound up doing it.
Like basketball. I didn't outright hate playing it, but I wouldn't have chosen to do it had I been given the option.
I also didn't like to shit as a kid. I always thought it was because I was having too much fun out playing and stuff, but I would deliberately hold it in which is apparently in some schools of thought a control thing.
I feel like I should be over it by this point in time though. I mean I moved out, I'm on my own in school. I don't know...
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>>26057737
me too desu senpai

watching The Sopranos
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>>26057528
Ovrignak
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>>26057750
>>26057765
Shit forgot pic
It's got an original plot that isn't very detailed, it's summed up in the five minute intro to the game. The plot also has jack shit to do with your game. It has no morals, no meaning, no substance. Modern Warfare had more substance than this.
I heard the cooperative was good though.
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>>26057648
Every choice I make just seems to have a negative outcome, I tried to become a better person and make my life more enjoyable, but still, when I try to make decisions instead of supressing my problems and forgetting everything, my life seems to become worse. It just makes me feel powerless. Suicide seems to be the only decision I would make, which has a foreseeable outcome, I know what will happen and what the end result would be. Seriously, it is the only thing over which I would have power.

The train ride is pretty enjoyable, it gives me a feeling of serenity, which I get rarely. It makes me actually forget about negative stuff, but that's only for a short moment and it will end.
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>>26057376
Smoking
Playing vidya
Considering offing myself tonight.
>>
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>>26057376
job hunting

i just need that, so i can get distracted and hopefully die in a work accident.
>>
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/pol/ got invaded by reddit today so I was pretty sad about that.
Really happy about Trump though. He's actually given me some hope for the future.
Dragon's Dogma is so shit but I can't stop playing it for some reason.
I think I'll watch Toradora again.
>>
Currently neeting due to physical injuries and borderline depression.

Watching a GTA SA speedrun and messaging a girl I'm interested in.
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>>26059166
is she interested in you??'

or are you orbiting??
>>
I'm just doing some shitposting before I get into my nightly anime watching routine
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>>26059189
Fairly sure, then again I'm on this board so who the fuck knows.
>>
>job hunting going nowhere
>my first therapy session is today that my mom is paying for, I'm reluctant to it but have to go
>don't know what to say
Therapists don't prescribe medication right? So there's no reason for me to hold back on my thoughts like red pill (she's a girl though fuck)

I just don't know what to expect from a therapist and how they can possibly help me being a beta loser with shit social skills
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>>26059303
She is interested in you man. Good luck
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>>26059303
fuckin kek

does she starts conversations with you?? or you always have to start, does she ask you questions??
>>
I'm finalizing my first novel as we speak. I spent 4 years on it.
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>>26059406
How excited are you to sell 7 copies on Amazon?
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>>26059393
Usually she starts convo's; pretty rare to go more than 1-2 days without hearing from her.
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>>26059437
7?
That's 7 more than my anticipated numbers!
>>
>>26059451
>>26059406
Real-talk; just spam every social media platform you can think of; add a wiki page or wikia page, spam it on Reddit or something equivalent using multiple accounts - surely you can E spam and gain a decent userbase these days.
>>
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>>26059438
ok

hope you get cucked soon
>>
Going back to school. Gonna really try this time and get myself into a useful degree.
>>
You know that song, Row Row Row Your Boat?

Well i'm beginning to think it was true, Life is nothing but a dream.
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>>26057376
I wish we got to see Asuka's panties in that scene
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>>26059851
We did, didn't we?
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>>26059865
I haven't watched in a while and don't have the ep handy but I thought the dress blew up and we saw skin on her torso below the dress but the pantsu would've been below the bottom of the frame

Still sexy I guess.
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>>26059944
I watched it recently and I'm failry certain that there was a bit of panty visible
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>>26059851
Pay more attention to important details
>>
I asked a girl who I've known sort-of for the past two or three years if she wanted to go ice skating, not even as a date. She said yes. I waited there for 30 mins and she never showed up, so I went ice skating by myself for an hour. My ankles really hurt now. Why did she say yes if she didn't have any interest at all? She didn't send a message or anything saying she wasn't gonna show. Feels bad man
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The usual of wasting time between elevators and wondering what I should get for lunch.
Wondering if I should keep up my streak of being offline on Steam or log on and remove all the /v/ermin nest that is my Friends list myself.
And finally what should I have for lunch; a tuna wrap or chicken n' pesto pizza?
>>
Black cock is always on my mind
I seriously think I've been brainwashed by cuck porn.

>Used to download pictures of it to shitpost with
>Started fapping to it
>Started watching brain washing videos and gifs
>Never stopped
Please help me. I'm not even kidding at this point. I've been 100% honest. I'm sick of this shit. I want to go back to fapping to hentai and not feeling like a completely worthless sack of shit...
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>>26060049
get cucked son

GET FUCKING KEKED

hahahahaha serves you right
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>>26060126
i suppose it does. when i asked her to go without hesitation and she said yes, i shouldve realized that life has been going too good lately. the ride never ends
>>
>Wake up around 2 pm
>Browse 4chan all day
>Play some videos or watch a movie
>Lie in bed and contemplate suicide for a couple of hours before finally falling asleep
>Repeat

>Tfw too much of a pussy to do it.
>>
>>26060247
Kill yourself!
Through fun!
>>
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>>26060200
women are not worth your time

get it trough you fucking skull
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>>26060259
I've been doing harddrugs ocassionally, but nothing strong enough to actually finish the job for me. Would rather hang myself than OD
>>
You know doing the usual every day shit
Jerking off to Japanese cartoonists
>>
Wondering why this board is so fucking dead.
>>
>>26060391
everyone is either asleep or not online


everything is stale, threads are barely moving
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>>26060391
All the shitposting normies have left. That was like 80% of the people on here.
>>
>>26058753
>/pol/ got invaded
You mean the BTFO by a woman thing? Those a trolls, anon
>taking /pol/ or the Internet seriously
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>>26060445
And they went to /v/, back to their rat's nest!
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>>26060081
It's very important to realise masturbating to cuck porn doesn't mean you want to get cucked. There's a line between real life and your fetishes on the Internet. I fap to this stuff sometimes but I understand I would immediately break up with my girlfriendnot that I have one if she cheated on me. Pornography is highly exaggerated so it can play into the wild imaginings those who see it.

I write some cuck fanfiction from time to time as a form of catharsis. Reading it on pdf makes it crystal clear how silly it is. Relationships are not all about sex. Women will not leave you because a guy has a huge dick. If she did, you were dating a massive slut and lost nothing.

In fact, most of the females sexual nerves are at the entrance to the vagina. Women usually orgasm from oral. Read She Comes First by Ian Kerner.

If I'd take a guess I'd say you're a /pol/ack and this stuff arouses you precisely because you think it shouldn't. Fetishes always are something taboo. Think, why are you aroused by this stuff?
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