If you could say anything to your teenage self, what would it be?

>>26048307
DONT DROP OUT OF UNI YOU FUCKING CUNT. GET A JOB YOU PIECE OF SHIT. DON'T DRINK. DO SOME EXERCISE.

end it while you're still young and emotionally unstable, your life was always a failure.

Save your money.

tnemmoc lanigiro

Just fucking join the Army out of High School, college doesn't turn out well and you'll want those deployment feels. You won't feel like a man without them.

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you're not funny so stop trying to be

you're going to make a fool of yourself

quit getting high on OTC drugs

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>>26048307
Avoid the edge

>>26048307
Talk to her before break.

>implying my teenage self would listen to me

Just play it by ear, you'll be fine. Everything turns out pretty well. There's a great girl waiting for you just around the corner.

kill yourself you dumb pos you literally dont have a social life and you'll never get laid
>tfw still me today

>>26048669
This desu senpai
Creative comment

>>26048307
STUDY HARDER YOU LAZY FAGGOT, AND STOP MAKING EXCUSES DO IT RIGHT NOW.

Take the chance when it's presented to you. It'll be obvious. She'll make it very obvious. Do not be afraid. Just do what you feel you should do. She actually wanted the same thing.

I used to live by the idea that it was better to regret something forever and avoid the pain of failure rather than try and fail in the moment and feel the embarrassment and shame. That's fucked me up. I had my chance last year.

My only consolation is other versions of me in other universes might have done the right thing and tried despite the fear. Hopefully I'll live as one of them in another life.

STOP MASTURBATING!!!!!

Also: "Don't ask her out on a second date, it will nearly kill your soul."

>>26048307
Stay away from everybody, don't talk to anyone, don't even do as much as to stare at anyone. If you do this, it'll make high school at the very least more enjoyable.

>>26048633
this desu you're just being an idiot and people are laughing at you.

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do more drugs and less chicks mate. women are a waste of time

>>26048307
"It doesn't get any better, kill yourself now."

Chelsea, Inter, Bayern, Real, Barca. That's the order of the next 5 Champions League champions. Also, Spain wins south africa world cup and germany wins in brazil.

Don't cut yourself above the waist, scars are hard to explain

>>26048307
Get a job and move out as soon as you can. Don't go to uni and learn a trade instead.

Here's a copy of every r?sum? that actually got accepted

Here's a list of actual shit you need to learn for our job later,

Here's a list of the 4 qt girls that actually liked you

Here's a suicide note so you can stop using the lack of one as an excuse

>>26048307
dont major in fucking english
do the honors computer science program from sophmore year. get out of college and get a software developer job

>>26049462
fuck I forgot unicode is blocked that should be resume

>>26048307
There are no real legal consequences for teenagers, fight every fight you want to.

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Work out, learn to fight, and stop taking shit from people you fucking faggot. God I hate you... ;_;

>>26048307

Don't try cocaine. For the love of God, don't try cocaine.

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Why didn't you ask her to the Prom, you retard.

>But she wouldn't want to go

She did, you total faggot

Get on Propecia while you have the chance.

You give dad's opinion far too much worth. Listen to what he says and be respectful but be able to recognise when he's wrong, because he's wrong a lot.

(That's all I'd say. Every other regret I have has made me a better person, and I wouldn't want to interfere. I had a lot of anxiety that was rooted in how verbally abusive my dad was, and I didn't even realise it)

Don't listen to your mother get you drivers license.

Fuck just take the test, you can learn from failing it don't be scared, don't listen to your mother.

stop doing fucking drugs and start lifting and being more serious about school.

>>26048307

DON'T GET FAT

DON'T STUDY DIGITAL ANIMATION

YOU MUST GO TO UNI AND STUDY TRANSLATION - WHO CARES U WOULD STARVE FUCK THAT JUST DO WHAT YOU LIKE YOU ACTUALLY CAN DO IT

DON'T FUCK FOR FIRST TIME WITH THAT BITCH SHE'S A BIG EMO WHORE

there's plenty more of stuff I would scream at me, but those are the most important

>>26049819
uh no she didnt

>>26048307
I know Tim is gone, don't get too absorbed in the drinking. I miss him too, but it'll be alright. Keep your dreams alive, we can do it!

Life never gets better.

>>26048307
The peak of your life is already behind you, it only gets worse from here. Either study harder so you can actually get into University, or just suck it up and get a job now while it's still easy to. Life will still be as miserable but at least you won't completely flop.

Also Evangelion 4.0 never came out in 2015 so don't get your hopes up.

In fact, that goes for everything. Don't get your hopes up for anything.

Go for Sarah
Have some fun with Kathrin but don't take her serious
Don't break up with Alina

we good my man

play more counter strike tho

>>26048307
Kill yourself it only gets worse

Just end it already, man.

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Don't fall for her, you'll try to kill your self she wastes 3 years of your life and you end up alone going from pointless relationship to the next.

>>26048307
You are not entitled to friends. Stop dwelling on the fact that none of your middle school friends came to the high school you're at now and accept it. Also, if you want to hang out with them so badly why not just message them? You have them all on Facebook. I think you just like feeling like the reject.

Get medication for your ADHD as well and start drawing. Do not pussy out and get your GED, try to make friends and finish high school.

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Everything is as it should be

Don't ignore your friends
The internet is the enemy

Would solve all my problems. Being ignorant to the world outside of a 80 mile radius is best

Get in shape and don't go to the shitty state school you live 40 minutes away from.

>>26049460
This
/thread tbqh

There's a kid who will ambush you in class. Don't just take it, fight back and don't let that fucker win because it will effect you for the rest of your life.

Don't ever fall for Ashten. Avoid Sarah like a plague. Just keep on drinking and go to welding school.

get fit and here are the numbers for the a couple of lotteries.

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>>26048307
Don't take the pills in your room, they will find you and you will suffer even more, just go outside at night and find a nice quiet place and take them there

>>26048307
browse fit
do Starting Strength
If she offers a blowjob, then you might as well

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>>26048307

Put down the poptarts and eat a salad every now and then, gaining massive amounts of weight is a very easy and slow process and one day you're going to wake up and realize you're suddenly a fat piece of shit

Sports aren't gay, play soccer or go swimming with your friends or some shit every time they ask. Staying inside playin vidya isn't going to make you happy inside forever

Being funny and emotionally relateable isn't going to make you an attractive boyfriend or potential sexual partner to girls. It will never get the early sexual validation you so clearly needed to make you a functioning adult

fuck you

You're not gay. Don't let that bitch trick you into thinking you are.

A girl in high school offered to "break me in" aka fuck me. Should I have done it?

She has a kid now

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Don't speak unless spoken too. I know, I know, you're a young high functioning autistic guy and you have a lot to say, but just shut the fuck up. Nobody gives a shit.

>>26048648
this

Try harder (as in, actually try) in the early relationships
Try harder (again, actually try) in high school
Quit being a FUCKING weaboo
Ask out that F-chested freshman who was obviously into me

That's about it.

>>26048307
Kill yourself kid, life is fleeting and pointless and it's only going to get worse. Dad keeps his gun in the white closet, point it at your head and make sure you don't fuck up.

Don't go looking for our father; no matter how hard it gets. Trust me, the bastard left for a reason, and you don't want to know why.

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>>26048307
Nice haircut faggot
pic related, literally me

I would leave weird messages on the internet for them

>>26048307

Buy hundreds of bitcoins and retire at 30 a millionaire.

>>26048307
Stop being such a fucking dick all the time.
you're going to get into drugs later anyway, so way not do them now to make yourself feel cooler?
you fucking suck at school, drop out and get a trade
having trouble with women huh? have you tried talking to them?
fuck you
don't start smocking, you wont ever ever EVER stop, excuse me (cigarette lighter flick)
you are not destined for greatness
everything you know is wrong, browse /pol/ (or was it /news/ when i was in high school?)
Don't try that opium based medicine either...

-Push the computer closer to the wall so you don't end up kneeing it and breaking the damn thing.
-Get NEETbucks now.
-Walking outside with a pen shoved into your urethra sounds hot at first, is hot at first, but you wouldn't want to go up the stairs.

get off runescape and go make friends

>>26050874
oh also, invest in bitcoin
hehehe

>>26051031
oh who am i kidding i don't have any money.

stop jerkin it so much

WHY ARE YOU STILL LISTENING TO ME, DROP OUT AND GET AN APPRENTICESHIP FAGGOT!

if only i actually could go back in time...

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>>26048307

Straight guys will never love you back.

Remember that our Mom and our Step Dad don't really care about you, they are providers and not parents. Focus on finding out about college for yourself, go to the interviews yourself and find a way to pay for it yourself.

Don't get so worked up over not having a job right away, it'll come to you and you'll work your ass off when you get the job. Just remember that the sky is the limit.

You're not as smart as you think you are, yes you're smarter than almost all of our graduating class but there is a lot more you need to read. Learn how to properly write an essay too, your spelling and language skills are atrocious.

For the love of God stop role-playing online, it's an unhealthy addiction and it's only because you despise your family, focus on your friends and remember that you have one really good one that will stay with you until the end. Stop focusing on your Ex's too, yes they all cheated on you and you despise them but what do you expect from a long distance relationship.

Fuck you and get your head out of your ass, be the man you know you can be and stop relying on people who don't deserve your attention.

>>26048307
Wake up.
Literally, I dropped out of college because I slept in during all my classes.
How the fuck am I supposed to get a job?

dont smoke weed
dont drop acid
just be urself tbqh

>>26050618
I'm sorry buddy :(
I really am

Being weirdly in love with the guy who catfished you /is/ rock-bottom, not the self-hating period you have after.

Keep climbing, and remember to swing the fucking bat. If you're smoking weed more than twice a week and you're not camping, you're going at it too hard for your age.

Just kill yourself m8 its only gonna get worse and none of the dreams you have will ever come true.

>don't break up with her
>don't drop out of high school
>don't do weed, alcohol, ecstasy heroin, xanax and cocaine with people 10 years older than you and are criminals and just need your car

Life long opiate addict now

Try more

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She was obviously into you , if you had gotten your license earlier, Polish your texting skills, and really gone for her you would have been a great couple and she wouldn't have started hanging out with those people and turn into the average annoying highschool girl

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when a girl is lying in your bed and says "fuck me," you should probably fuck her to avoid retaining your virginity literally forever

being a stoner and passing joints around in large circles will give you herpes which will go from your mouth to your dick, did you honestly not consider this? why did you skip sex ed?

just because you have the highest mark in several classes in high school doesn't mean you'll be hot shit in uni

it's better to be a big fish in a small pond

your school is ghetto and is literally graduating illiterate niggers, don't take any marks seriously at all tbqh

drinking makes you stupid

move to a big city far away

learn a language and move to another country

kill yourself

Floss regularly.
Stop smoking.
Don't be such a needy faggot.
Stop trying to act smart.
Start talking to her now and not 3 years later. That way maybe she won't turn out as fucked up as she did.
You're not better than everyone else.
Actually put some effort into your studies.

>>26053485

>being a stoner and passing joints around in large circles will give you herpes which will go from your mouth to your dick, did you honestly not consider this? why did you skip sex ed?

did this happen to you anon???

>>26053435
>tfw this thread just made me start thinking about it
We were so perfect together , I never felt more comfortable with someone
She was and is the only person in my entire life who actually knew me, who I felt OK opening up to.
I didn't think so, but when I had friends I was completely closed off. I mean we had good times and stuff but another friend of mine called me mysterious and hard person to read.
I was just so happy with her, she got me out of my depression , she introduced me to film which I still love, she got me in a social circle and because of her I had really great friends .
>that summer we saw together in a group of friends
>her and I holding hands singing a song
I think that is the highlight of my awful life.
But I was so beta I never actually went for her and said the magic words aloud.
Her friend texted me one night out of nowhere that this girl did not like me and I'm wasting my time (later found out that this girl never said those things and made it all up)
She eventually fell in with a different group, stopped talking to her old group (mine) as much and moved on from me
She got a boyfriend, broke up, I helped her through it, eventually got a other bf and broke up, and I helped again

Then one day senior year I was walking down the hallway with my camera because I was that photography kid and was on my was to a part of the school I saw something cool
She gave me a dirty look and walked past me with her friend
Later found out she blocked me on social media and on her phone

My best friend told me she's not the same girl I knew and she's more promiscuous and less of the traits I like

This was such a turning point in my life, after that I was a complete shut in all senior year taking all my classes online. I wasn't sad or lonely I just became disillusioned with socializing

God damn I didn't need these feels guys
Sorry for the normie shit
>tfw you were supposed to have a happy life

>>26048307
Don't tell anyone what you are doing, especially family, no one is on your side.

>would have made life way better

She likes you you faggot
Go for it
Why else would she accept you petting her head everyday you dense fool
Why else would she go everywhere you went without there being people she knows

>>26048307
Eat enough and tell your doctor that you have small penis

>>26048307
>Just frigging kill yourself, do people a favor

>>26048307
I'm still a teenager.

>>26048307
Take your studies seriously because there are no such thing as a friends in school, they all will go away at some point.
Your not the only one with that problem and it's not that big of a deal.
Finally, if there is a chance that it's going to get worse, it sure will

Don't take a year off, you dumb fuck. Exercise more too.

>>26048307
God's probably not real, give up Christianity and go fuck that chick with daddy issues. You know the one. At least delay the God shit for your later years. If you don't get pussy in high school, it will DESTROY YOUR LIFE. You grow up to be a 28 y/o virgin with severe social problems. Also, your mother succumbs to that illness in 2013.

Stop worrying so much about grades and AP tests. You don't have to go to a good college to get a good job anymore, your stressing too much and taking years off your life. Use this time to get drunk and high with your friends (Yes, all of them drink. Yes, almost all of them smoke pot. They hide these things from you because of how uptight you are.)

Your mother dies just a month after you get a good enough job to get her better medical treatment so don't worry about saving her. You cant. The timeline just doesnt work in your favor. Instead, enjoy each moment you have her and maximize the time you spend together (something you cant do if you leave for that good school out of state, dumbass).

If you do not head this warning, here is what you are in for:
-You will lose out on 6 years of time you could have spent with mom.
-You will not make it back home in time to say goodbye to her. She will die terrified, confused, and alone in a shitty hospital.
-You will never have a chance at a healthy relationship (and no fuckface, contrary to what you may think, you cant be by yourself)
-Your depression is NOTHING right now. Wait until it starts giving you migraines. Wait until it destroys your productivity at work. Wait until it starts physically hurting you.
-Your few friends will drop out of your life one by one -not because you pissed them off or anything but because you failed to have those bonding experiences with them in high school and college.

Also invest everything in Amazon and Apple stock. Cash out of apple when they start dividends.
Heed my advice and you might just make it bro.

>>26048307
Kill yourself now, it doesn't get better.

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Play rs when it first came out, be number 1
Get a head start on streaming, git mad money

>>26048307
Don't tell your parents you're a faggot. In fact, don't tell anyone you're a faggot, faggot.

I'd give my teenager self the name card of the painting teacher I met when I was 21. So she would have had extra 5 years of farming art skills with sensei.

10 years from now you're going to go back in time and molest yourself right now

*locks door*

>>26048307
don't buy the meal plan you dumbass it's overpriced as fuck. Just cook for yourself you lazy faggot.

>cut hair
>start exercising
>go fix that gyno (still haven't done it)
>don't be so afraid of qts (they don't give a shit about the mantits)

I kind of regret I missed opportunities to be with some girls and it's all because I was such a coward. One was literally wife-tier and she was hopelessly in love with me, but I was too afraid.

Your perfect princess will never come. Just go out there and have sex with average girls, forget about wanting a serious relationship only.

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>Join the military straight outta high school.
>Doesn't matter what career path, pick one and roll with it. Just don't do dumb bullshit like LA degrees.
>Don't join that nazi satanic group when you turn 18.

more robitussin and benadryl

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>get accutane asap
>quit wow
>eat more

>>26048307
>[how my heart broke]
>leave him to decide what to do about it

>>26055180
by using that f word, even ironically, you are contributing to the stigma of being gay by the way. i know you dont mean to use it as a slur in the context youve got it, but even joking around with it reinforces bigortry towards homosexuals on some level. you are in fact making your own situation harder.

just my 2 cents though.

>>26048307

Shut the fuck up in high school. No one thinks you're funny.

Buzz your stupid hair down.

Join track and XC freshmen year. Actually train. Don't dick around at 25 miles per week. The coach has a pussy training regimen.

Start investing your time in architecture. Get some magazines, start looking at buildings. Yes, everyone says it's hard and has lots of math and focuses on older architecture first. Who gives a shit. You like it, end of story.

The acne goes away by the end of junior year. It sucks, I know. I know you would use one genie wish to make it go away, but it will disappear.

Your leg pain is caused by a pelvis misalignment. Don't waste time going to quack doctors. Five years of life will be hell if you don't fix it now. Check yourself out at a chiropractor and get it fixed there.

Get a fucking retail job. You'll have to work with dad all summer if you don't and that job is shit.

Actually do your school work you stupid fuck. What, are you going to lie on your ass and play fucking RuneScape? Get invested in architecture, find a way to get into great arch schools.

Invest in Apple.

>>26055232
>Don't join that nazi satanic group when you turn 18.
/pol/ pls go.

>>26048307
your dick is normal go fuck those ho's.they won't say anything bad about it.

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>>26055317
>Join track and XC freshmen year. Actually train. Don't dick around at 25 miles per week. The coach has a pussy training regimen.

iktf. never broke 2:00 in the 800 because i only ever ran 4 days a week, sometimes 5. i needed to be doing 6-7. ill be stuck with my 2:01 for the rest of my life

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You like boys, you are super gay, fuck boys

>>26048307
Dont date anyone whose name is Katie or Ana, the first will destroy you, the second wil kill herself.

>>26048307

She'll ruin you.

don't go see your moms psychiatrist friend, don't try to be a tranny when you get into high school, tell your parents that you're not okay, don't take so many AP classes, join the swim team your freshman year, stop getting on 4chan, stop watching so much anime, study more, don't push yourself too hard, don't pour your heart into the boy that lives 10 hours away, stop fighting with mom so much, take care of your sister, get your license at 16 and don't wait until you're 18, you're going to get into the college you want. remember to try harder in your chemistry classes, it'll help you in the future.

>>26048307
Stop playing videogames and do some sport you fatass, and for the love of god don't ever go to 4chan

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>>26055347

Same guy here.

>PR was 17:03 in high school
>join college
>bump training up to 45 miles per week for 2 months
>do actual training
>still less than nearly everyone on the team ironically
>run 15:55 first 5K in college
>run 4:30 mile like it was nothing
>run 2:01, even though I could barely do a 54 in the 400
>run a 3K, first mile was a breezy 4:50, ran 9:08, high school mile PR was 4:50
>eventually my legs crumble as they succumb to piriformis syndrome
>have to stop running
>never realized my full potential

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FUCK YOU COACH. FUCK YOU LEGS. I COULD'VE BEEN SO MUCH FASTER. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Everything i would try would be a failure anyway,
Just keep on doing what you always did.

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>>26055426
I had good coaches, but i just never ran on my off days like i was supposed to. I also had terrible sleep habits and a bad diet. Im only 20 though so if i start training again tomorrow i might still be able to break 2. I fuck up every opportunity i get. sorry to hear about the legs bro.

>>26048307
Work out and have fun.

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>pandering threads

Fucking so many retards itt

Keep being original and funny and stop trying to actually connect with people.

Stay in sports, actually give a fuck and get a 5.0, dont start smoking, choose a college away from home. drop your friends you grew up with

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>>26048692
You 30 years later

like a year ago i wouldve said dont drop out, but i cant even care anymore

if you get the opportunity to cover it up as non suicide, kill yourself there's literally nothing for you, you missed chances already

save money and be more self aware because youre a dumb shit and youre in denial still

>>26048307
Find a job once you get into uni to make money on the side. Take 30% of your earnings every week and stash it away.
If you have a crush on someone, ask them out ASAP. Success/failure doesn't matter, just get that shit out of the way.
Don't slack off at uni, even if the team projects suck ass and stress you the fuck out.
In the end, life is a huge joke, laugh.

If you kill yourself now they'll think of you as a teenager who made a dumb decision, which is a lot nicer than it will be otherwise

Depends what age, 14-15 would be "appreciate your friends, be nicer to people and get a job immediately"
17-18 would be "you're already doomed"

Don't date the crazy pale bitch, you will know who she is, she will cuck you

Play more sports or something kiddo

Kill Yourself it will go downhill from here.

At the beginning of 2015 there will be a powerball lottery. The lottery numbers are as follows.

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>>26049118
>Don't ask her out on a second date

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choose the motorcycle instead of the computer you dumb nigger

take school more seriously, try harder to make friends, stop caring about vidya so much

U S E A C O N D O M

rip my sons

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>>26049118
Are you me?

In addition,
"Go, play on the basketball team. Just remember to continue playing Magic."

>>26048307
>Start working out now, not later
>Start not eating like shit NOW, but don't starve yourself
>All those girls will use you, ignore them and use that time productively
>Never, ever browse 4chan. You won't leave.

Here are a bunch of key sports results for the next few years. Have fun convincing your parents to bet for you until you're 18

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>>26048307
It's not going to get better, no matter how hard you try. Just end your life. Getting a degree, joining the army, trying to be a good person etc. None of those things matter, you're not going to be happy.

>>26048307
Dont put pussy on a pedestal.

Don't break up with her

Everyone pretends to like you because they feel bad for you

When they invite you out just calmly decline, and say you've got plans with your house mates.

Don't start smoking anything or drinking, it aggravates your bipolar, which you don't know you have yet.

If the music or buzzing in your head gets too loud sometimes, take three deep breaths, and start talking to yourself in your head.

Visit the Uni psychologist and psychiatrist as soon as you can and tell them your doctor suspects you're bipolar, to save the time of looking like a fool.

The social anxiety work shop is not for people with social anxiety. Its for Normans and Chads pretending to be sick. You waste an hour there worried someone will walk behind you.

Keep contact with your room mate to a minimal, he thinks he can manipulate you, actually, try to find a different room mate if you can. He ends up being the worst kind of chad. The one you don't want to talk to but insists on being "friendly", he is a spic dindu mix, very loud and annoying.

Don't go in for anything related to sports and just stick to Biomed or Programming.

T is a slut and not worth getting drunk around because she ends up drugging your drink with something and the police don't believe you in the end.

FOCUS ON UNI. Ignore your shit tier family, ignore your other problems, etc etc, all you have is your work. The sooner you realize no one cares about you the better. Move forward.

Actually, pretend to be mute. Makes it much easier.

>>26048307
"Don't smoke pot"

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>>26048307
Attached Image Related
bloxoxoxoxblolx

"Don't drop out of high school. I know it sucks right now but it's going to such a million times more if you don't finish it."

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She is in love with you.

Don't tell her no.


She will suicide.

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>>26048307
>you should really get around to tugging on your dick sooner rather than later
This is something I would tell to my 13 year old self instead of letting my 18 year old self make the discovery.

GO
INTO
COMPUTER
SCIENCE
AND
FINISH
IN
3 YEARS
TO A LOVING GF
AND A DECENT JOB

> dress better
> study harder
> find interesting hobbies instead of vidya
> try getting girls faggot

stop trying to fit in so hard. You are just embarrassing yourself. Its not going to work out. Focus on your studies and your health

>>26061104
I bet your past self would call you a normalfag

>>26051689
>dont drop acid
what happened?

>>26061124
yes as a teen i was in the inbetweener group and i hated the popular kids i thought they were wannabe's. now i'm 22 and got my first experience with a girl months ago. so i got from KV to virgin/failed normie.

If i started self improving in my teens my sexual life would have looked better.

>>26061175
I meant that advice of yours is pretty shallow. On the same level as jst be urself

>>26048307
HIDE YOUR POWERLEVEL

>>26061226
It's a decent advice, changing small improvements like this could have changed a lot. I don't have anything specific, buy apple stocks?

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>Not giving yourself the winning lottery numbers

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>>26048307
fuck all bitches you can or you'll die virgin.

i was fit and kind of attractive back in HS, i used to get allot of attention from Stacies, i turnd down girl you woldn't believe.
8/10, 9/10..., all because i was a pretentious prick, i wanted the perfect 10/10.

if i had to guess a number, id say i could've fucked at least 100 Stacie only in HS.

but i'v fucked it up all because i was too picky, i wanted a 10/10 than never came.

now i'm 28 bald and skinny virgin, i look like a sausage.
girls barley look at me.

>>26050844
only correct answer ITT

>>26048307
>take out a copyright on the images of this voldemort cancer man and this smug green toad and you'll be rolling in the casheesh sonny jim.

>>26051207
Normiepost 2: Electric Boogaloo

Get therapy and anxiety treatment NOW, or it will prevent you from making life changing decisions to your benefit.

Study a bit harder.

Play less video games.

Watch less porn.

Don't ever touch any pills, opiates, or coke period. Stop being a lazy stoner and start lifting and studying hard and start an IS program freshman year. Stop listening to nigger music and hanging around degenerates in your teens, approach more girls in high school, and be smarter when you deal pot and stay the fuck away from any niggers.

>>26061045
Damn I thought I was a late bloomer discovering masturbation at 15

>>26048307
If you exclusively recruit people who can hybrid, you will have a better p2p matched clan and will win more wars.

>>26061073
>loving gf
lmao'ing @ ur delusions

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I can't help you stop the bullying. I could only go as far back as 13 so you've already been getting pushed around like a fucking pussy for 2 years. That was what fucks up your life. And I can't help you. It's all over now. Go post memes on the internet and fap to porn all you want, faggot. Nothing can save us now.

Start going to the gym at 16.
Don't be shy, who gives a fuck just talk to people.
Get a job and save as much as you can then put it all in bitcoin.
Don't worry about getting a girlfriend, try to fuck as many 3+/10's as possible, get a respectable count.
Keep drawing, develop other artistic hobbies.
Travel alone, it's better that way.

Invest in Bitcoin. Oh and Eliza will never give a fuck about you. You're going to go down a slow descent into addiction and you aren't ever going to feel that much better than you did in middle school. It's all meaningless, but I guess you know that. You're going to drop out of college, I don't think there's anything that could be said to change that. Don't trust Nate, Willie, or Kansas, they will all fuck you over. Just buy drugs online.

>>26048307
Cut WAY down on the weed, it will make you paranoid, fat and suck all your money away

Stay within your social loop, this ties in with the copious amounts of weed you smoke. You smoke so much all of the time that you develop paranoia and social anxiety, you think everyone has a negative view of you so you drop contact from social media and rarely go out, eventually you fade out almost completely and only have contact with a few people outside your family. Every day is a dread and you wish you were back a few years ago or at least could bring yourself to making the effort to get in contact with people, but you can't and won't be able to for years because you're terrified of how people will judge, you put on lots of weight, you're anxious as fuck, you're paranoid, you lack self control and a will to get back to were you want to be for a long time, all because you fucked your own head up with poor and self indulgent choices that seemed awesome and great at the time but turn into a complete nightmare.

Now stop smoking and eating so much, go to the gym and stay in contact with your friends.

>>26048307
Shut up, nobody cares.

Don't bother with university, you will never have the confidence and calmness to ace those job interviews anyway

It doesn't get better. It gets worse. Much worse.

Don't say any edgy shit. No one cares about your opinion. Don't argue with your teachers.
Start playing the piano as soon as possible. You have a gift for it, that you would waste otherwise.
Do sports. Don't stop going to the gym.
Don't associate with the nerds. It will kill your social life. Don't play any MMOs.
Don't try to kill yourself. You will fuck up and ruin the relationship with your family.
Ask her out. She will be dating Chad in the future and you will feel much worse for not even trying.

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>>26048307
>you have an allergy to gluten and casein, avoid them
>go for a botany degree of some sort in college, maybe biology; neuroscience isn't going to work out
>you have aspergers, you're not just fucking up
>LSD won't fuck you up, apparently autism has some magical bad juju binding power
>people don't want anything they say they do, since you can't help but mean what you say you have some power
>this is also a weakness, because it's easy to be lied to
>you'll never connect, stop trying. people respect force and accomplishments, if you project enough of both not fitting in doesn't matter
>your caution is only hurting yourself
>you're not actually going to join the military, you'll realize it's a bad idea and you've been inoculated with propaganda
>you can actually live past 30
>other people not understanding you does not devalue you, you aren't wrong for that, you aren't faking it for attention, you're different than a lot of other people, and a lot of other people are different from you, categorizing is a cognitive bias that humans have, but it's almost always a major mistake. categories turn the world into a psuedo rational emotional heatsink.

>>26048307

>If you could say anything to your teenage self, what would it be?

end yourself now before it's too late

When you see that tall, beautiful Czech foreign exchange student sitting alone at lunch, GO TALK TO HER! She has a huge crush on you. Ditch your stupid stoner friends and go sit with her, it would make her the happiest girl in the world.

>>26048811
man that sounds just like me

quit the weed and stay in school

Go outside more
make use of your time
Don't masturbate so much
try to fulfil your potential

>>26051116
Nobody will ever love you back

I'd give myself the lottery numbers

try harder in school you stupid son of a whore... you CAN do it ... you can have the best gradess at school but you are a lazy fucking cunt ... you gonna regret it someday !!!
please... PLEASE do some exercise!!! you can be fat but you can't be obese! your social life will be SHIT
never NEVER try to be a paramedic.. its shit
go straight to study nursery ... bitches loves that!!1

>>26062352
also. DONT YOU FUCKING TALK TO A GIRL NAMED CATALINA
remember that. CATALINA
that bitch gonna ruin your life.... you are gonna into too deep to depression and you never ever gonna completely get over that....

Please kill yourself and don't make me suffer

stop being narcissistic asshole
ppl are shit and always will be there is nothing you can do about this
try to get some pussy asap or u will die a virgin
stop playing stupid vidya, it's a waste of time
try to fix your scoliosis or you will end up looking like a Gollum
don't quit handball team
make sure to talk to Daniel in July 2013
don't quit college fucker
Veronica will ask you out to prom, so dont worry you spineless fuckin pussy
you will have a chance to fuck this short blonde at the freshmen party

>>26048307
avoid her, she's slowly going to kill you from the inside...

Transgenderism isn't a real thing, so stop thinking about it.

No,you're not gay either.

>>26055310
Get the fuck out faggot.

>>26048307
Discipline yourself.
Take risks.
Don't lift unless you know you'll do it with correct form, get decent sleep, and have a good diet. Otherwise, just keep doing bodyweight shit and stay ottermode.

Cherish her.

Break up with her now before it's too late.

Go to the bathroom where I first tried weed, slap the shit out of myself, and say " YOU BETTER GO TO FUCKIN CLASS AND STOP HANGING OUT WITH THESE DEADBEATS WHO WILL ALL BE DEAD OR IN JAIL BY THE TIME YOU'RE 25"

Dont drink
Dont go out
Study
Save virginity
Ignore everyone
Ask for ssri
Go to 4chan

What the fuck else are you doing that you can't even spend one hour a day studying and doing homework? It is going to save you a lot of time in the future, which you should actually care about.

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Instead of r9k, browse t/trp.
Get a head start on the self help ride. It only gets worst when you get separated from your old friends, but at least try to socialize. Focus on studying and tae kwon do instead of chasing and orbiting those sluts.
And for the love of god, get a haircut and stop being such a smug fucking brat

Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith so powerful and so wise, he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create...life. He had such a knowledge of the Dark Side, he could even keep the ones he cared about...from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful, the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power...which, eventually of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew. Then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death...but not himself.

...Not from a Jedi.

Don't ask her out. Forget about her. She's an emotional wreck with huge family issues. You don't need that.

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Hurry up and start keeping a journal, it will help your personality develop faster and in greater breadth. You can consult yourself about occurences while getting better spoken at the same time.

If i could choose the age, i will choose myself 14 and i will say:

1) you think you have time, but you actually don't. Time is your worst enemy, and you have really little chance to defeat him. Remember, the SEX train only passes at the station from now to 18 yr, and if you lose it there is only "Virgin city", FOREVER.

2) study more ,pls. At least don't lose 1 year, don't be an idiot PLZ FFS.

3)You are not a normie, you hate those people and you know it.Stop forcing yourself, drop those idiots as soon as they start to be boring to you, and search some real nerd friend or some nerd community, and don't isolate yourself so much...and search some ankward nerdy girl even if it seems impossible, don't try to do shit with the normal ones, it will not work you are not a Chad deal with it.

4)the last year of HIGH SCHOOL will be great, really great. But don't fucking fall for that trap, or that year will be the last happy year of your life.After that you DON'T FUCKING HAVE to choose the 5 year law course at UNI, you have to choose the 3 year economic law course, not the 5 year general law one, TRUST ME or it will be pure hell, it will destroy your life.

4)This is a personal favor... when you are at uni(at the RIGHT course), search at the faculty an east-auropean girl named Diana G.(short, very long brown hair, 1 year more than you...search her at one of the exams from the 5 year general law course) and tell her this:
"one person that knows you very well told me to do and say this to you... *hug her and say: you are really a beautiful person, thank you from the deep of my heart, i wish you the best in life, I will never forget...Goodbye and farewell" Then get the fuck out running, because she will probably be shocked to see a fucking stranger doing this.

>>26050715
Such is life in da ghetto, right Tyrone?

DON'T ASK YOUR FRIEND TO CARRY YOUR CLOTHES IN HIS BAG WHEN YOU'RE AT THAT THEME PARK.

>>26048692
Why lie to yourself anon?

>>26066387
Anon, we are gonna need an explanation for this

Eat more

Sleep more

Study more

>>26048307
Try and be more auto ironic

>>26066820
His cellphone fell out of the bag and broke when I tried taking my clothes out. Leading my paranoid self to not visit him in all of that summer. This lead to me being really paranoid about stuff and also kind of ruined my friends life. He didn't have any other friends and started failling at school, getting less and less motivated. We're still friends, but it kind of feels like I ran away from my problems resulting in him being in the position he is in today.

>>26048307
My teenage self was a year ago so I would just tell myself not to move back to my hometown.

>>26048307
meh, nothing. judging my from background, i never had a chance. i guess i would tell myself that some people are inherently mean and i shouldn't try to make anyone like me. and that i shouldn't care about any insult as long as i haven't done anything wrong.

winning lottery numbers and what stocks to buy

i'm fine with the shitty decisions i made, might as well get paid

All your problems are just lack of exercise.

>>26055129
Man, you are giving me some feels here. I think I am going your way.

Stop G's mom from breaking her neck and him becoming a different person. Do not grow your hair, do not join rugby, do not make friends with H, do not hang around with C's friends they will never like you and will bully you until you have no self confidence left. Lie to mum about your problems she will only resent you for not being normal, she will never understand. Also make her get a cat scan and dad check out his blood pressure right now. And most importantly do not go to college right away on a course you know you'll eventually quit. Find something else you like or go travelling.

Stay in school, don't join the military, be honest with her, and for fuck's sake stop lying to your mother.

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>>26048307

Only and the most important: At the age of 19 you will meet blonde girl on houseparty... Don't FUCK IT UP later! Just go out with her and staff instead non-stop playing video games or it will be the biggest misstake of your life!

stop lying, tell mom and dad your brother is doing heroin.

>>26065177
This

and anyone who says different is a normie and NEEDS TO GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD!!!!!!

>>26048307
Stop making poor decisions, you dumb cunt.

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Stay at home. Friends and school weren't worth it. Nothing good you had will make a difference later. You won't even be able to look back on those tainted experiences fondly. Everybody is playing a part and you're not going to be in the credits.

Go ahead and kill youself while you're a faggot full of angst. It will save you some grief.

It is just a prank bro. JUST A PRANK

>>26049423
lol wrong order

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What are you trying to achieve?

You think being such a nerd,psychotic creep is socially rewardable?Or are you waiting for some girl to knock at your door and say 'Wow,everybody was wrong about you,you're inteligent and smarter than everybody else'?

You have no purpose,why don't you suicide already?Oh right,you're a pussy.Keep dreaming till the end of your days,cause that's all you can do.

>>26048307
>never trust a whore
>all women are whores

Cut horizontal not vertical, don't call mom before you do it and lock your door.

>>26048307
Stop doing drugs, your friends are worthless. Your girlfriend isn't going to put up with it much longer and you're going to miss her wayyy more than your stupid friends.

>>26048307
Life is not like a movie. You're life isn't going to have one of those amazing plot twist. You are the son of a chain smoking morbidly obese hamplanet and an alcoholic high school dropout. Success comes to those who are high born. Accept your genetic inferiority and try not to make much of a nuisance of yourself

you have ADHD predominately inattentive, ask teachers for their syllabus so you can better organize your studies and keep being an annoying cunt when trying to get into extra-curriculars

stop trying to impress the popular kids, they're pieces of shit and there is more to life

>>26048307
>Do it, do it now motherfucker, it won't get any better in the future

Never go outside.

Don't fucking do it.

You fucking sit there, in the house, play on that computer and fap for as long as you fucking can boy.

YOU DO NOT WANT TO LEARN THE TRUTH OF THIS REALITY!

I wanted to tell myself not to play WoW, go out more, and ease up on energy drinks, alcohol and junk food. To stick with programming; a Japanese philology degree is going to be worthless. To pick up some RL hobbies like guitar or swimming. To, perhaps, try and make a few friends: no friendships are as strong as those from teenage years.

But I've decided not to. I may have forsaken my life by wasting those few crucial years, but boy! was it a blast. I had so much fun with my guildies in WoW, raiding away all those nights day after day, and made so many great memories with them. The fun I had was worth whatever's going to come. I regret nothing.

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DON'T TELL HER YOU LOVE HER

HOLY FUCK

JUST DON'T

JUST FUCKING DOOOOOON'T

just give up while you can

>>26055426
>piriformis syndrome
literally buttmad

>>26048307
My life was more together when I was a teenager, so probably nothing.

>>26048307
>invest in bitcoin early on
>if you're going to stay inside all day at least exercise, muscle atrophy is real

When you're 20 you'll attempt suicide. Just go with the simple noose on the doorknob method. Don't try that helium bullshit you're too stupid to do it properly and you'll just sit there with a bag on your head like an idiot for 20 minutes with an empty helium tank. You'll never work up the courage to try suicide again probably.

If you make it to 23 I can assure it hasn't gotten any better yet. So don't stick around to see what happens.

Also you're not going bald you paranoid twit. You're ugly enough with hair anyway.

>>26048415
dont be with him. he will only hurt you and cost you 4 years of your life.
but life does get better so keep your optimism.

>>26048307
Just go it alone, it will probably work out better.
Take those math courses u tit.

Some people just don't get to be happy.

>>26048307
don't do cocaine, it makes things worse

All the advice I could give to my teenage self is advice I still haven't used, what do I say?

>>26048307
Don't waste your last free summers on summerjobs. You will sell your work cheap and waste all the money anyway. Plenty of work is coming your way, but you will miss those summers.
Enjoy playing videogames while you still enjoy them, that will not last.
Everything will turn out fine, enjoy the little things in life.

>>26048415

Depends on how young we're talking. But generally, "Fuck your parents, those niggers don't know what's good for you. Do what you know you want to do, and the rest you'll manage somehow. But just remember, disregard all of that religious horseshit and your parents."

It doesn't get any better. Just NEET it up and enjoy yourself instead of trying to conform to society's standards and fucking up in the process.

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Never start watching anime.