>>26038582 I already get it. I gave up my coming of age in favor of being timid and lazy and now at 24 I'm too old to ever have the life experiences that I should have gotten at 18. It'd be creepy for me to even be around people who are at the same developmental stage as myself. I missed my chance to grow up, so I'm just going to leech off of my parents for as long as possible until I find some other way for me to scrape by life.
I've never been myself in real life though, just hints of it or just with very close friends. I've been wearing a normie mask all this time to blend in society, the mask is deteriorating as years pass though.
>>26038695 >>26038726 Same here, I'm 24. Except I'm too autistic to even know what I should have done differently. I get along with 14 year olds and younger, but anyone older I just don't understand and I'm intimidated by them.
>>26038695 >>26038726 Same robots. I've fucked my life up. However recently I started taking classes. I decided I'm going to try going to college just for the fuck of it. I really, really don't have anything to lose. Just all the money I saved wageslaving which I don't do anything with anyway. When I fail out and go broke I'll be in the same position I am now.
So fuck I decided to try. There's a minute chance I make some kind of change and acomplish something. At least I have something to do with my 2 days out of the week. Being the old guy in a lecture full of 18-20 year olds doesn't even bother me.
>>26038968 I wish I had your motivation anon. I literally can fix all most of my problems ( they just take some time, around 3 years to solve everything ). I have the tools and everything, I just don't have it inside of me. Im beyond depressed/unmotivated/lazy. The person my parents raised and I self-developed is unable to change and turn things around by putting in work and actually going out side and taking care of stuff. I just feel miserable everytime I go outside and interact with people who have normal lives and complete different perspective on life than me. Just seeing a beautiful girl in real life, makes me want to jump off a building because I know I could have that if I took care of myself and If I didin't make stupid mistakes or If I had the strenght/willpower to change myself and improve.
Similar boat here. 23, soon to be 24. STEM education aside, I couldn't even make fried eggs a month ago. That's how childish I was. Steadily, I am improving myself. I can now cook most things I like to eat, I can iron my shirts and more. I also lost the excess 6kg fat, soon I can begin endurance and physical strength training.
My long term goal is to be like Big Boss. Childish and fitting for a man child like myself, but I will do it. The only alternative is to get friendly with my revolver.
>>26038897 I can get along with teens pretty well, I'm convinced that something happened to me along the way that arrested my social/emotional/intellectual development. For me it went like.
> Be asperger boy through most of my schooling > Don't get a healthy group of friends until I'm halfway through highschool > Only got to experience real friendship for two years, and then highschool ended > Get accepted into mid-tier University > Can't make friends no matter what when I'm outside of my comfort zone > Feel like I don't know what to do in college, but I have no mentorship whatsoever and no peers to relate to > Get by classes with bare minimum grades > Graduate with worthless degree and no chance of going to grad school > Only time I've ever gotten laid in my life is by a huge slut from my hometown who is now married to some Airforce guy and now turned into a Dependopotamus > Currently have a part-time job as a line cook in a Thai restaurant and can't afford rent/am too scared to move out of my Mom's house even if I did > Co-workers don't speak English and I don't speak Thai, so I'm friends with none of them
TL;DR: My Mom wants me to get into a post-Bac program so that I can earn a degree that isn't useless (BA in Philosophy). The thought of being six years older than everyone else and trudging through the academics of college again while being too creepy/old to party with 18-21 year olds and get it together socially terrifies me. Except for just one friend from Highschool, people my age don't respect me, and younger people who are at my level of social development will probably think I'm a creep. I can completely forget about any chance of getting laid since the only girl loose enough to ever fuck me is now married to a military guy.
>>26039142 I was thinking of enrolling in college. My SAT scores/college placement exam scores are outdated so I'll have to take them again. I'm scared to go to college now because if I do, I'll be 29 when I get my degree, but fuck it, in four and a half years I'll be 29 anyway whether I go to college or not, so I might as well try. I've dealt with being a lonely creep my whole life, I might as well just come face to face with the fact. At least my parents care enough to help pay for me to go to state college if I do.
>>26039142 I know exactly what you mean. I was more or less the same way for years. MASSIVE depression for a long long time. I still am a very depressed person, but a few months ago something kind of started to "click". I don't know what, but it spurred me into action slowly. I'm not perfect. I'm still lazy and filled with anxiety and procrastinating the work I decided to take on, but for whatever reason i just decided to try.
Honestly it feels a little scary for a few reasons. Lately I have had a few days where I actually did just feel GOOD and that is literally so fucking foreign to me. It felt like I was building myself up for some kind of crash and it STILL feels this way. Like when this whimsy or whatever runs out... well... I don't know... I might finally hit new lows I didn't think were possible for me.
In any case, anon, I don't have the answers for you. I hope something works out for all of us. Even if it's just one little thing.
>>26038695 >at 24 I'm too old to ever have the life experiences that I should have gotten at 18. It'd be creepy for me to even be around people who are at the same developmental stage as myself. Well said. Same.
>>26038695 23, I feel the same. I still have all the same hobbies and interests that I did when I was 17. I still live in the same house. I re-watch anime from when I was a teenager. I still jack off to the same fucking porn. I spent all of my formative years hiding from people and playing Starcraft and thinking that I was too good to drink/party/be a normalfag. Now I want to go out and be wild and stupid and unrestrained, but it's time for me to get my shit together as an adult and I can't cope with the fact that I missed my time to get all that out of my system because I was such a smug, elitist nerd that used his delusions of superiority to justify being a complete social failure. It'd be pathetic of me at this point to take back all of the shit I missed out on when I was 18-20 years old.
>>26039504 I'm 25 and honestly I'll kill to go back in time just 3 or four years. At least then I'd be able to catch the back end of post-adolescence. Now I need to figure my life out fast, or go even further into the spiral. Just go outside. Talk to a stranger, fucking do anything man. Join a club, get a hobby that isn't 100% internet-based. This is your last chance to discover the world on your own terms.
>>26039418 thanks for the kind words anon. Hopefully we all make it. I still have a chance and im trying my hardest ( which is pretty shit but its something ). At least I am at peace with my situation and my options right now.
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