>>26036870 I have. It took about 4 years to get the hang of it. It's just nonstop persistence; I'm still even learning now. There really isn't a set point it happens, your charisma just gradually increases.
>>26036918 I thought about trying to boost my self esteem by approaching girls I thought were attracted to me. So I posted on /adv/ for some advice and everyone called me a creep and and told me to not approach any woman.
Different guy here, it took about 4 years for me as well, starting at high school graduation. It just takes experience and going through friendships and relationships. It takes a few fuck ups and horrible anxiety to persevere and realize that nothing is that bad or deserving of your anxiety. I ended up enlisting in the Marines after my third year of college and that's been great.
conditioning plus started seeing social situations in a different light. I used to hold myself back from talking to girls due to fears of what they might think about me or that I might seem "awkward." Now I see those kinds of situations as opportunities where I have nothing to lose. I'm now extremely confident and outgoing, and girls LIKE me for it.
Can't be bothered explaining everything on r9k though.
>>26036998 Why do you need anyone's approval for what you want to do? Here's a tip: just talk to anyone and everyone first. Mind you, you'll get stung by being shut down or possibly ridiculed, but fuck them. Stay away from any form of electronic communication and just use face-to-face interaction. Again, understand that you WILL fail. If you go in knowing you're going to immediately fail, you stop applying so much pressure. Just don't look for validation outside of yourself.
What I did was just started off small. On days that I felt, "I gotta turn this franchise around," I'd go up to a random girl that I saw after observing her (for probably 5 seconds), then compliment her on something small. Not eyes, hair, etc. but more like jewelry, eyebrows, smile. Example: "Hey, I usually don't give too many compliments but I just wanted to say that necklace looks great on you. It brings out the color in your eyes. Have a great day!" (Also, no one is going to be a dickhead if you're paying a compliment.) Then I'd be on my way. After awhile, I'd start trying to strike up conversations. The point is to be as sincere as possible. Don't say it if you don't mean it. Once you start getting positive feedback, you'll realize that most people are reactionary. When you get comfortable enough doing this, you can start being super fucking goofy and no one will care. When they sense the smallest incongruence between your actions and thoughts (e.g. doing something you're not confident about), you can "sense" that they feel uncomfortable.
Again, it just takes time. Think global, act local. If you see what kind of person you want to be, start working on that piece by piece.
>>26037249 >I started to understand people better. When I did, I realized why they think as they do and many of the reasons they come to their conclusions are invalid
How exactly did you come to understand/accept this though? I mean, it seems easy to realise that people are superficial and most don't even care what other people are doing or look like... But actually believing that sort of thing enough that you yourself stop caring?
>>26037318 What can I say. I just realized a lot of their thinking/ feeling is childish or petty in nature- Nothing to care about. Like when someone says you're dumb because 1+1 = 5. Just no, does not compute. I can't take something personally when it's not rooted in a valid world view.
There are people who are not, though, and I wish I had few friendships like that. But I still have a inferiority complex and don't want to inflict myself on others. Yes, I know that's gay. Also drunk.
People are generally insecure and I usually "see through" them. I tend to stay at home alone, though.
>>26036870 It took awhile but I finally came full circle. For the longest time I always had social problems. I never felt comfortable being around anyone and was always extremely paranoid. I could never get the thought out of my head that everyone everywhere was judging and talking about me that eventually I stopped being around people and staying inside all the time.
I was like this for awhile and started becoming really angry and bitter. Then I'm not really sure what happened, but the anger I felt towards people and society in general just vanished. In its place nothing really replaced it. It was just a feeling of content. The things that used to make me angry no longer bothered me. All the screenshots of stupid things people have done on this site no longer affect me the way they used to.
I've come to terms with that's just how society is. There's no point in living with all that anger. I've always felt disconnected from society because I could never see it the way others do or understand it. Now I've just accepted this is the way things are. I feel more like a stranger looking in than anything and this gave me the ability to actually talk with people and not care what others think. None of it really means anything to me and given the choice I will always choose to be alone rather than with other people, but now I have the ability to fit in if I need to.
tldr: I came to accept I was an outlier in society and am no longer driven or act on what normies use to drive themselves, like sex or acceptance. I just be how I want and it seems to work.
>>26036870 I still have that shyness, but >take classes that involve critical thought, more formal arguments and logic >tend to have opinions on things >speak up and iterate clearly >all eyes are on me >yeah you know you like it when I put up an impromptu argument >you filthy slut normies you love every second of it also I've been weightlifting in the new year and I'm feeling a lot less stressed because of it. I think I might really be making some strides this year
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org with the post's information.