Anyone else here too afraid to try Tinder? I can't get over this anxiety I have over it. I hate that you have to connect the account through normiebook. I hate that people I went to school with will know I'm on there. I know that they would only know I'm on there if they were too, but still, it scares me just thinking about it. I also hate the idea of girls swiping left. Even though I can't see them do it, just knowing it's happening ruffles my feathers. And don't even get me started on pictures, I'm far from photogenic. In an age where technology is become more and more ingrained in our everyday lives how would someone with a fear of being spotted among a crowd adapt to this?
i know this exact same feel. i'm decent-looking and not terribly autistic or anything, but the idea of people i knew years ago seeing me using it and going "haha anon's using tinder, what a loser" is holding me back.
i know realistically that no one would actually give a shit, but still
Online dating and tinder are worthless if you're an average male, here's why:
1. Women already have access to average men that they KNOW IN REAL LIFE. If they resort to online dating it's not because they can't find an average guy, it's because they're looking for an ABOVE AVERAGE GUY.
2. Men outnumber women on these sites something like 39:1.
3. A majority of women that use these sites aren't looking for ANY GUY AT ALL. Most girls that use these sites do it just for ego validation. It's nice to be told by hundreds or thousands of people every day how great you are. It's especially nice to know that "I could have totally made that rich Indian doctor dude give me half his salary just by letting him lick my feet." It let's these women feel like they have options, which is a nice feeling.
4. The women that use the app properly (i.e. actually looking to fuck ) only want to fuck really hot guys. Like to 5% guys.
In other girls looking for just sex can afford to say NO to hot guys because a hotter one is just a couple of swipes away.
All this combined means that online dating (including tinder) is WORTHLESS to you as a male if you're looking for a girlfriend/stable relationship OR are not in the top 5% of good looks.
In real life it's much easier for an average looking dude to get laid in find a girl. In real life money matters more too.
>"haha anon's using tinder, what a loser"
I cringed and got embarassed just imagining that scenario. I always imagine a bunch of bro-ish type people from my highschool sitting around with their friends and seeing me on there and all having a good laugh about it. also if I'm being honest, I'm trans. so if people saw me on there whenever they were near me than that would be the way a lot of people from my HS found out and it freaks me out just thinking about it
wasn't there that one study that found that men think like 60% of women are relatively attractive and women think only like 10% of men are attractive? I don't have a link our source but if that's actually true that's pretty depressing
I don't even have any risks of seeing any people I know on tinder, I just don't want to go to all of the trouble of making a fake fb and trying to write the description and stuff, and putting myself out there
all just to be ignored and face that disappointment.
It's not perfect but it's comfy to just be completely ignorant of how undesirable I am.
I've got a Tinder here and I'm going to save the people curious about this (and other strains of online dating, such as okCupid/POF) that for guys like us, and truly, even Chads, it is a HUGE waste of time.
80% of the matches I do get are fat chicks. Fat chicks in a wide, wide, wide variety of various tricks, all of them to make themselves seem more attractive/ thinner than they really are. I've been on THIRTEEN different dates expecting to find an 8/10 (although after the first four I have come to expect them to be big as a house) and instead it's just a fat bitch who takes her pictures at the right angles to hide triple chins, wears flowey dresses from a distance to hide big hips and disgusting rolls, etc.
So I resorted to accepting dates when I wasn't sure, and I wait in a makeshift disguise. Close up it's obviously a disguise but from afar I just look like a guy with a mustache on his phone with sunglasses on. If the date I'm looking for arrives and she's a hambeast I just leave. They lied to me pretending to be attractive, so now I return the favor by lying to them about agreeing to meet.
You might be thinking "He said 80%, so the other 20% MUST be good, right?"
Wrong. It's only worse. 10% of the time, I get a hot chick, an easy 9, or even 10/10 for me, and it's just a camwhore bot or any kind of bot trying to trick me.
The last 10% is the one that makes me legitimately angry and terrified to keep trying, but I refuse to give up after all the time I've put in. If you've done this kind of thing before, you know what it is. It's trannies. They are flirtty, have all the power behind the camera to make them look EXTREMELY convincing. When you meet though, you hear the voice. See the strange jawline. See that they shave their fucking face. See that they are too tall and oddly built for a woman. Then they ask "You're okay with me being trans right?"
Online dating is horse shit. The only good thing is I don't have to leave my apartment to do it.
>>So I resorted to accepting dates when I wasn't sure, and I wait in a makeshift disguise. Close up it's obviously a disguise but from afar I just look like a guy with a mustache on his phone with sunglasses on. If the date I'm looking for arrives and she's a hambeast I just leave. They lied to me pretending to be attractive, so now I return the favor by lying to them about agreeing to meet.
I chuckled. I matched with a fatty but in her pictures, she looked more chubby like so I thought I'd give it a shot. I asked if she wanted to go for drinks.
I saw her waiting from a distance and as I got closer, I was thinking "oh come on... She's fat" I went from being with a 8/10 (in my opinion) to a (4/10). She had some nice tits but the amount of fat wasn't worth it and I knew it wouldn't be that nice kinda fat girl.
I've hardly had any matches for about 3 weeks now and I give up. I feel like I'm in the ugly pool yet I 100% realise it's a validation app for women.
Pretty much. That, and whenever I talk to girls about Tinder they tell me it's a "dead app" and to just snapchat girls I like, which in all honesty has been more successful for me anyway. Girls with boyfriends use snapchat for hooking up, and once you figure out how snapchat works you can tell if a girl likes you or not just on how she snapchats with you.
Tinder is nothing but a literal ocean of fat chicks, and hot girl profiles that they don't use anymore and are just dead. (the profiles, not the girls obviously)
how can you not tell a girl is fat from photos? I've literally never been tricked. there's only so much you can do to hide 200 pounds of girl. it shows up in all parts of the face. you cannot hide it apart from not taking a picture of yourself
I moved between two states, and where I used to live there was not very many fat chicks so I never really got used to seeing and talking to them. My eyesight is also not the greatest. I do have a friend who is better at it than me look at the pictures and he is always 100% spot on.
I hate the idea of making new pictures of myself, my jewbook profile picture is like 6 years old but i don't want to make a new one and it's not like i became hideous in 6 years or something i just don't like making pictures of myself or don't know how to do a good one
im starting to consider if i would fuck fat niger woman instead since its much easier
i mean fuck, whenever i enter a building populated with niggers i smell a strong spicy smell,they cook that shit all the time
I'm short at 5'8. Its less of a bother in real life but on online dating If you are short you are fucked, literally fucked. No matter how good looking, smart, outgoing etc you are if being short is a huge turn off in online dating. They can turn a blind eye to it in real life but it is almost impossible on online, when hundreds of 6'0 and above guys (lying or not) hit on her on a daily basis, no one has a time for manlets.
I'm also very shy and introverted like many of the anons here, so I can't play the social circle game or find someone in real life either.
I just gave up on women to be honest. Being short is not a death sentence but if you are also shy and introverted it is.
Online dating is a way for women to window shop for chad.
They can directly find him now.
I think back in the past before internet, before globalization, a girls exposure to men was only within her village or town. And that's very important. Because if a woman is exposed to chad nothing will ever satisfy her
Here's some advice from someone who was once a full-on kissless virgin neet robot not 2 years ago. Online dating helped me overcome all of that. The secret is this: Go after girls who are at or below your league, and be very very conservative in estimating what 'your league' qualifies as.
>'But Anon! I don't wanna fuck a landwhale!'
The point here isn't to fuck anyone. It's to go on a damn date. Look at it as an opportunity to practice. To figure out how dates even work if you've never been on one before. If you're lucky enough to have a car and decent enough finances to pay for the gas you can go out with a girl 20-30 miles away and never have to deal with any social backlash or embarassment. Then, after the date, if you percieved it as going poorly, send the girl a message saying something like
>'hey, i felt that went poorly, I don't really wanna go on another date with you to be honest, but could I get some feedback on what I could do better next time I try this out?'
Women love 'fixing' a dude and will, the majority of the time, be happy to give some feedback. I know this helped me tremendously.
Once you've got a few dates under your belt, maybe even a kiss or two, and have built up some confidence, set your sights higher to girls you might actually wanna spend some long-term time with.
Point is, walk before you sprint.
You should be, check this out. And check just how many people initiate the first contact even with a Model.
same guy, an addendum
>'But Anon! I don't wanna pay my hard earned sheckles to the wimmins without any reward!'
It's so easy to do essentially 'free' dates after your own travel expenses. Take her to a park. Go out for coffee (if you can't reasonably part with $5, you have bigger problems than finding a GF), if you're not ultra creepy and live on your own, you can hang out at your place watching netflix or whatever (don't call it 'netflix and chill' though, ever) be creative, not every date is a $40 dinner and $30 movie.
True, but I also don't think you should think of any date at this stage as a 'gf', even pretend. Going in with any expectations at all other than 'i'm going to interact with a girl and attempt to keep my powerlevel down and my spaghetti in my pockets' is not what you need at this moment.
Yeah, you're right about that one. It's from Okcupid I believe.
A lot of women would swipe left simply because they couldn't handle getting rejected by Chad.
Their prince swiping left would shatter their princess ego, so they would rather never find out.
Also, Chad's profile looked really fake if we are thinking about the same study so that might have contributed.
>tfw qt keeps matching me, talking to me for a bit, then deleting her account
FUCK JUST GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER THEN
>If the date I'm looking for arrives and she's a hambeast I just leave
You're doing gods work.
I don't have Tinder, but I have a really fat female friend who does pretty much the same thing.
She looks really thin and attractive online, like a 7/10, but in real life she's a 4/10.
It's really amazing how she's deceiving a shit ton of guys who flirt with her online.
>Giving girls below your league a chance
Stop fucking up the dating market.
>using tinder for a week now
>40 matches so far
>have sent a message to 30 of them so far
Why even swipe right?
There ya go.
To any anons reading this do not follow this advice.
The whore that you will date will think you are in her league. So when a 4/10 comes to her, dhe won't even respond.
Tinder is most probably not worth it anyway.
I've downloaded it and it really proves the hypergamy bullshit, if you're a 6/10 you'd be left with the fat sluts on there, maximum.
Also, be prepared to be ignored, oh - you'll find out girls are boring as fuck, so after a while of trying you'll get annoyed quite a bit
It's just not for you, senpai. It's a game for normies and you're both too sensitive and not conceited enough for it. Having said that, literally everyone is Tinder, so no one you know is going to judge you unless your profile is retarded. Also, your profile is only going to be visible to women/people who are looking for men, and I'd venture to guess you don't know too many of them irl anyway.
>use it for a week
>only 2 matches, 1 unmatched right away
>the other is a trans
>sent a message, no response
>tfw ran out of people to match in my area
I an undesirable ugly piece of shit. Fuck my life.
So, if you can't pick up women off online dating, and going to clubs is just a waste of time and a way to give pretty girls validation and free food and the establishment money, where do you find girls?
How am I honestly supposed to find someone to date? Do I literally just have to be be lucky enough to stumble across the girl I like in the supermarket and happen to exchange numbers for some reason?