Tell me robots
What are the worst feels you ever had?
>tfw alone on every birthday
>tfw being in physical pain is much more tolerable than loneliness
>What are the worst feels you ever had?
Its a feel that is with me every single day of my life.
Its a small penis and I can't even retract my foreskin so I'll probably never have proper sex with a girl ever.
>be my 20th birthday
>get up early
>no cards in post
>get my nice clothes on as its my birthday
>mother calls in for a few minutes, brought me some sweets and bottle of ale for presents
>leaves straight away
>have to go and sign on jobseekers
>mams ex bf calls in for cup of tea
>leaves, I go to shop for bottle of birthday wine
>woman behind me in the queue says "big night tonight eh?"
>no birthday texts, no cards through letterbox even from big extended family
>sit on r9k, drink wine
>order and eat pizza
>go to bed
>cry in bed a little bit
Did you get cards in the following days? Because mail isn't instant. Although you could always make the point, that they knew when your birthday was so they should've sent it at least a week ahead.
>getting kick out of my house and having to live on the streets
>crashing my car
>gf leaving me because she wanted to experiment more and finding out a few months later a now ex friend of mine fucked her behind my back
Those were the most painful for me. Sadly I'm a wagecuck now trying to survive by myself with friends, family and gf. It's not so bad after a while.
>always smallest person in class
>hear comments like 'what is this kid doing here'?
>'maybe a smart middleschooler'
>'probably got lost on his way to school'
>lose tremendous amounts of self-confidence
>imagine a lonely future
>mom suggests we go and let a doc check to see my 'growth potential'
>predicts i will most likely reach a height of 170cm best
>once i got home, i cried for hours even though I never cry
>family was shocked as they haven't seen me cry since i was a toddler
>by the time I was 17, i finally started growing
>by then, my social life was non existant
>missed out on parties, facebook, friends, everything
>even though I did end up growing a lot taller, I never managed to find my way back in
>even nowadays I have the tendency to compare my height to others and disliking really tall people
>i will never forget that one day though
Im finally leaving this sick perversion of existance.
See you guys on the other side.
>Make a move on my sister
>never see her again for more than 3 years
Having your testicles crushed on Monday and your appendix try to kill you Wensday. Worst and most painful week of my life.
>hanging out with friends
>"goth girl" from down the street got these big honking steel toe boots she wanted to show off
>everyones making fun of her
>gets pissed and goes to do her usual "kick you in the nuts response"
>full on football player style wind up and kicks me in the nuts with a steel toe on
>had to be rushed to the hosptial and testicles opperated on
>in hospital feeling like hell for 2 days.
>suddenly feel weird pain in lower stomach
>nurses say its just post surgery pain
>over the course of the day it becomes unbaralbe
>doctors finally do something
>appendix was about to go supernova
>had to have another surgery to get it removed.
Felt like death after the second surgery. So yeah, whoever says mental pain is the worst has clearly never been in a great deal of physical.
They had to literally cut off both of your balls? Shit man...
My appendix burst and I didn't get it operated on for over a week, surgeon gave me a 50 percent chance of survival. Shit's overrated.
Man I really can't decide, but I will recall the far worst which keep me awake at night.
>somewhat normie back then
>happy that I can finally start that free adult life
>get diagnosed with cancer
>for the first time in my life I feel like I can not do anything to improve my situation and nobody can help me
>felt like losing the ground under your feet and floating through empty space alone
>a year later
>struggling with therapies
>constantly fucked up on pain killers and lie in bed pretty much throughout the whole day for all summer
>parents do not know what to do and let out their helplessness in the only way they can
>mom ignores it
>dad gets drunk and lectures me on how much of a lazy slob I am and that in my situation he would do this and that
>ends his monologue with how much of a dissappointment I am while ironically remarking that suicide is not a choice
And last but not least:
>in middle school
>have some "friends"
>I am ugly as fuck and I already admire them for being with me at all, considering I am detrimental to any status automatically
>they are all chads
>we have been pretty close outside of school, some of them even cried like bitches in my presence about typical teenager shit
>still they always mocked me and sometimes went too far when in school, making some awfully hurtful remarks
>one day they all collectively crack and let all of the vitriol collected against me out in one burst
>won't go into details, but it was really nasty
>have been friendless since, until last years of highschool, where I basically was a drunkard edgelord wannabe chad
Basically my life always was shit, but I think bullying is manageable, being alone is manageable, being resented by your parents is manageable. What is not manageable is the feeling of some cosmic force which seems to want me broken my whole life. That is probably the biggest feel to feel them all.
>be me 3 years ago
>16 year old fat bullied lonely khv
>stacy who sits in front of me turn around
>she ask me why i dont have a gf
>tell her its obvious just look at me
>her chad fuckbuddy and herself start talking and laughing about it
>cry in the inside
>tfw i will never be 14 and have a goth gf
tfw think about my loneliness and start wondering where it all started, where i went wrong or what event caused it... then something magical enlightens me - it was right nowhen, and ive never done something and nothing particural ever happened... i just had no friends from very beginning ;_;
>friends with girl for about a year
>she loves me and I know it
>i like her, but i still felt I could get with hotter chicks; reject her
>she's involved with a guy who's basically a cooler version of me
>she's lost a lot of weight, started wearing makeup, dressing a lot nicer
>see them together all the time
>can't avoid them, they're both in my classes
>they're obscenely happy
I try not to watch, but I'll overhear her talking about making him baked goods, or buying him birthday gifts or whatever, and I'll feel like shit because I know that could've been me.
> tfw can't possibly compete with skeleton harvester
> why even live?
The feeling of everyday life, knowing that this world is pointless and that I will never find happiness. The fact that I will never know the sweet embrace of a female. The fact that the rest of them are at least happy.
Life is pain, there is nothing for us in this world or the next.
>new years eve
>as always my parents have a party with their friends so I leave the house not to ruin their thing
>they are totally oblivious of my situation that I'm basically friendless because they are not that often home
>evening comes, brother and sister leave to their parties so it's finally my turn to leave
>dress up nicely for literally nothing and leave the house saying I am going to a friends house party, mom says: "ok have fun" and that's it
>and now begins my 8 hour long freezing walk on the streets waiting for the night to end so I can go back home
>I generally walk to the other side of the town where are far less people to run into
>walking around constantly going across the street if I see someone coming my way so noone recognizes me
>find an empty alleyway with no one in sight, decide to sit there on the corner to rest a little
>midnight comes, firecrackers and cheering around the town, hopefully no one sees me
>half an hour later the walk continues, feet still numb from the cold. Can't go home, don't wanna ruin their party early
>this goes on till about 04:00 where I can finally head back home
>get to my front door, silently open doors and go to my room trying not to make a sound so my mom doesn't know when I came home
>hungry and starving but I can't go to the kitchen because my mom could hear me so I drink the water in the bathroom and go to bed
>warm up in my bed thinking this is the last year like this
And it happens again and again. This is the 6th year like that now. It just happened suddenly after middle school that I lost all friends and contacts but my mom never noticed or atleast said anything about it so I am living this fake life now
The only thing I hope for next year that it isn't so much cold outside
I throw on as much as I can on myself but I can't look like I'm going hiking (which I am actually) so parents aren't suspicious.
This year I thought I could take my dad's car and tell them I am going to a friends house away. They would allow me surely but then I would have to stay out way longer than when I'm roaming the streets. One night won't kill me right
>community college dropout
>abusive, alcoholic, druggie mother got a degree
Even complete scum like her can complete college yet I can't.
It hurts so fucking much.
Trying to finish college at 25 while poor, single, and living with parents. I have to motivate myself to go to class by telling myself, "This will be worth it, your real life will start soon." Even though I know it won't.
Other than that I guess being 25 thinking about being single with no substantial relationship and sexual experience at 30 and then 40. Life is too fucked up to deal with sometimes.
Just store a bag of clothes outside your house so you can get them on. Or just say "i'm going to a new years eve party in the countryside on a friends farm" and you can dress up as warm as you want. just take your father's car, it'll be alright, you can sleep in it and use your phone or laptop or read a book
>to be fair, she probably did that before she had you.
No she didn't. She did it a year or two ago.
>i'm willing to bet the alcohol and drugs started sometime around the time you were born.
She's done them since she was a teenager. She was a literal Stacy. Did drugs all the time, threw huge house parties, dated asshole Chads, etc. I'm not even kidding or using a hyperbole here.
>good job ruining your mothers life.
She kicked me out when I was 11.
>Where did everything go so wrong?
I think the right question is
"Where did everything go so RIGHT?"
>Find out my crush isn't into me
>Somewhat get over it, we get along well
>I dont see her for quite some time, but we text once in a while
>She invites me to this thing (I guess the closest english equivalent would be prom? but not really the same ting), I am the only person from our hometown invited (but i bring two friends along who know her as well because I knew I didn't want to be lonely there)
>I see her
>She is even more beautiful and charming than i remember