Vent thread: what's troubling you? Talk about how you really feel about someone, something, or even yourself. Put your emotions into words, and tell us how you feel. Are you sad, happy, maybe suicidal? Howcome?
>Nothing helps me at all, being bipolar 1 is horrible. Thearpy feels fake, and meds just make me feel worse in the end. I just feel hopeless, really.
I just fixed a mistake I made last year.
I spent the bulk of that time hating myself and I can't shake the habit of remembering every mistake I made and fucking DESPISING myself for doing that.
I fear that everyone around me can see right through my exterior and they have all heard from other people how much of a failure I am.
I want to change my face, not be noticed, and live in solitude as if the old me died and the new me is an unknown entity.
I am a failure and a coward.
>was a robot
>got a gf, left this place
>3 years later she dumps me
and now I'm back lads
Wanna knw what troubles me anons? Why we exist as a species. Sometimes its better to tell by choice then to stare into the illusion that you have created of yourself. There is somthing in there like a uncanny valley, the smoothness of the poise coupled with the cold distance of the sparkle in the eyes of the thing you discribe as happiness. As the hard little strain of light pulls you in, and as you feel yourself dissolving, you cant help but wonder if another person feels the same way, but there just better actors than you. How can one mess up be the parody of a living being? Almost if you were born with wings that you were never really meant to use. Everyone is special in there own ways but i am special at being terrible in every conceivable way possible. I now lie on the edge of the valley of death itself, and i am ready for death to take it's toll to the passage to true freedom. The freedom of leaving this putrid world and escaping from it's corrupted hands. And that, is what we as a race seek. That is what we as a race yerns for, and we will soon get it
I hate myself for letting my teeth become so bad, I guess getting them all pulled and getting false ones will totally help my awful confidence. I haven't properly smiled for as long as I can remember at this point.
Old high school crush got my phone number today and thinks I'm cute. I suck at texting and feel like I'm blowing my only chance at being happy for awhile. I really want this girl, but have no idea how to not be awkward. It's even worse because I recognize the awkwardness but can't do anything to help it. Fuck
I still browsed /r9k/ during the relationship but same DESU.
It's shitty, I feel lonely but I never really want to get into a relationship again. The whole romance thing just seems so fake to me now, I don't think I'll ever meet a woman again who I want to be in a relationship with.
Good luck man, why do you think the conversation is awkward?
i don't like anything but i finally accept it and realize that i am capable of doing things i don't like
i don't know where to go from here as surely even a self-enforced productive life isn't how it's supposed to be. i feel lame and cliched
All I want to do is create things, like stories or music, and I have a bunch of ideas, but nobody to collaborate with.
I have a story idea I really want to share but I can't write a book about it because I haven't read an actual book in five years, and I can't make a comic or TV show because I can't draw.
This leaves music but I can't perform what I write by myself nor can I even sing.
These are the two things I want to do the most but can't because I can't find anyone who I can get along with and is as passionate as me, so I'm stuck at university studying things I don't care about as they don't relate to the things mentioned above.
It sucks being surrounded by so many people who get along with each other, and that if I was born without social disabilities, I would be just fine doing what I want to do.
If I did it as a book it wouldn't be good because I haven't read a book in 5 years. I don't love reading enough to write a book, so I don't think it would be that good, and I don't want to sink several thousand hours into something mediocre
Even if you sink thousands of hours into it and it's complete shit, you're going to have learnt something about writing, it'll be easier for you to write your next story so you'll be able to write a less shit story, and more importantly, what else are you going to do with that time, browse /r9k/?
I'm becoming unhappy in my relationship with my gf. I'm slowly becoming more and more bitter towards her and I know that it's not her fault that we can't go out and do things like every other normal couple. She's deathly afraid of her stepfather despite the fact that she's an adult. I wish I could tell her to ignore him since he's fucking old and gonna die soon anyway. But she's so scared and paranoid of it all. We're not even supposed to be going out since she wanted to wait til after college to do anything but I convinced her too. Now I'm stuck in a relationship that feels like it's going no where.
But at the same time, I'm sure this is just punishment for my misdeeds during my younger years. I wanted a loving gf who would stick by me no matter how much of a loser I am and I got her, the only problem is that now that I have that dream it's slowly turning into something I despise. I despise her and myself for becoming someone so bitter and selfish.
In fact, I'm sure that everything bad that's happened to me so far is only a result of my negative actions.
After all, you reap what you sow.
>Meet perfect /r9k/ bf almost two months ago.
>Finally connect with another human being, I don't believe in fate but if I did us coming across each other would be it.
>He lives very far away.
>Trying to get my shit together so we can meet irl but the more I think about it the harder it seems.
>Never felt so strongly about anyone.
>Worried he won't wait for me, which is stupid because I'm pretty sure he feels the same as I do and I'll continue long distance indefinitely.
>pls be nice, no bully, I know I'm irrational.
Tell me your burdens anon, I will carry them for you.
I really want to kill myself right now right this minute. I tried stabbing myself but that's too painful. I did a pretty nasty stab in my stomach a bit but it wasn't too deep. I don't have any sharp knives really.
I don't have access to guns, tall buildings, or a place to hang myself.
Guess I'm just stuck here..
I dislike my friends they all talk about me behind my back and i know it, i dont know why i stay. They talk about each other as well. ive been trying to get them to stop but nothings changed. should i just give up and become friendless?
I feel like I'm becoming a more bitter and hostile person with each passing day, every single day I get called into fucking work and slave in front of a hot stove or serve some benefit hogging bogan white trash taking my wage.
I used to be a full on robot. Depressed, unhealthy skinny-fat slob. I got a job, worked out, improved my social skills. But I still feel so inferior to everyone else. I've tried my damn well hardest to make it there. But its like society can sniff out the crap you hide, and though I feel like I walk and talk normally like any normal person. People seem to have this idea that I'm a doormat they can tread on for as long as they want, and I just can't seem to change this mindset no matter hard hard I fucking fight to get rid of it and start anew. It's like when you tell a joke and noone laughs at all, but leave the room and send another person in with the same joke everyone will laugh. Or when talking in a group of people one random fuckwit will pipe up and cut you off, and it never seems to happen with anyone else.
I'm tired of being like this. I'm starting to get angry with people. I'm being more aggressive in my tones, dominant in conversations. But everyone else is starting to fight back as well. They've noticed the difference and they want me to go back to the submissive little faggot they can abuse for free labour or favours or as a comedic punching bag. Realising this is turning me into a resentful, spiteful piece of shit and idk what to do about it.
Can't say that I feel depressed about life. Just the more I think about it the more my wants seem like the stuff of fantasy. My motivation is dead and I feel very melancholy.
I've been thinking whether love is real or obtainable. The more I hear about and analazye the actions of women the more it seems unlikely. I'm not a misogynist but I'm trying to be realistic.
Life is just a strange game that you can't necessarily win. I'm not sure If I should keep trying despite my repeated failures or just give up entirely. I'm afraid to give up but also too tired to keep trying.
I miss my oneitis too. Can't get her out of my head. Oh well.
I broke up with a girl that's previously been my best friend for years. We dated for a while but she ultimately decided she didn't see me as a boyfriend. I thought the robot life was over with. I thought I would have a future, a loving wife, a family, but instead I'm back on /r9k/ and I barely even leave my room anymore.
This just doesn't feel right. She was the turning point in my life. Even before I met her, when we were just friends, there was something special between us. She knew I was a complete loser but she didn't care and she helped pull me out of robot life. We would hang out every day, share every secret, every moment. She moved overseas for a year and I flew out to visit her for 6 months. Even before we dated she wanted to live with me, because she simply couldn't imagine life without me.
I want to get drunk but I only have one bottle of vodka left, I don't want to waste it and I don't drive. I live with my parents anyway. I've just been staying up til 5am and waking up at ~4 every day.
I don't even feel sad or angry, just very neutral about the whole situation. I don't care about anything anymore like I used to.
Get on a strict diet, workout, and get swole. Be as angry, bitter, and vicious as you can be. Kill all the pacifistic parts of your personality.
I hope you are tall too, this will only help you out more.
People are animals. They love being cruel to anyone that is perceived to be inferior to them. Dont let them do that to you. I regret letting my co workers and bosses treat me like that when I was younger. Even my friends did it to me.
The truth if you have to be even worse then them. Even more hateful and spiteful.
And if you can, tell every single one of them off when you quit. Make a scene and ruin their day. People like this are fucking garbage.
So I just fucking applied or at least try to apply for some kind of welfare temporary assistance or food stamps and the government building told us my family I to go be homeless in our previous state that it isn't there a problem you know I just wonder how the fuck I got here you know, then I realized it's my own choices.
And I feel pretty pathetic I mean I couldn't even get help from the government regarding this you no more f****** dirt poor now I can't hold a job dropped out of university I owe $25,000 to the fucking government Student Loans what's the fucking point no really I mean what am I going to do now I'm fucked.
Yeah, the one person who truly cares about me is pretty far away as well. We don't like each other in a love kind of way, we just strongly care about each other if that makes any sense at all.
Don't go through with it. Wether you say so or not, there is someone out there who cares for you. You don't just die, but parts of other people who care die as well. Try to find a group of people who will talk to you, not like a therapist, they just fuck stuff up. Find an actual group of people who care.
I feel inferior.I think that is where most of my problems come from. I am always worrying that I am being looked down on and pitied or being made fun of.This has made me afraid of about everything and just opt out of everything.I can't leave the house, talk or ask for help, I can't do anything.I joined a steam group like a retard thinking that maybe that I can learn how to be normal and have friends. Now I feel more paranoid and confused since they all are good friends and have a past and have have a good report, while I am can barely break in and feel like i'm intruding on them and always regretting about everything I say. I want to just leave it but I feel guilty for thinking of that after they let me join in.