>"Whoa, anon...I think I had too much to drink..."

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>>26005419
>you have to eat all the eggs
shiggy diggy doo

put her in my bed and put a blanket over her.
sleep on the floor.
set alarm for sunrise.
make her breakfast in bed.
seal the deal.
really the only answer.

I would just walk away

Le eggs maymay

>>26005474
You wouldn't 360, first?

Wake her ass up and tell her she gotta get the fuck up and get the fuck out

>Look around for other bystanders.

>Wait for coast to clear

>Pic her up and carry her to my loft

>put her in the spare bed i have and write a stiky pad message. Put on her forehead

>Write hello i found you passed out on a bench so i figured i would give you some saftey and take you back to my place no we didnt do anything.PS there is OJ in the fridge and a stack of pancakes . Eat and drink it all.

The answer is "eggs"

>>26005419
Throw a bowl of eggs at her

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crashing this plane... WITH NO SURVIVAHS

>>26005571
>not leaving her a bowl of eggs

It's almost like you've never even talked to a girl before

>>26005419
How come no one points out she brought her own bondage rope?

>>26005419
Getting ready for the beta fedora tippers that infest this board to come in and describe how gentlemanly they would be to her because she's just a sweet and innocent woman.

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>get home from a night of drinking
>find your little sister passed out on the couch
what do

take a shit in her hair

>>26005705
Ignore her and continue on to my room.

Why would I fucking care?

>>26005711
This is by far the best answer.

>>26005705
Caress her silky smooth thighs whilst I touch myself.

steal the rest of her drink, smoke a bowl, and then go to bed

>Put a blanket on her
>Take her back to my place
>Put her on the bed
>Tuck her in
>When she wakes up, offer her some freshly cooked waffles and maple syrup
>Ask her what her favorite breakfast snack is
>Tell her I will make it for her if she stays
>Get a free GF

>>26005705
Who is this boner condoner?
This erection confection?
This jizz genie?
This dick juice masseuse?
This sperm worm?
This semen demon?

>pick her up by her armpits
>lay her down on her side
>wait thirty minutes (my patented soberin' up time)
>drive away from there

>>26005705
This implies that I would imbibe alcohol.

No no my good sir, in reality, I would look in disgust at the degenerate that is technically my relative.

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>>26005674
I'd also grab this fat faggot and flip him over.
If you can prevent someone from drowning in their own puke, you ought to.
It's the Christian thing to do.

Find a witness.

>>26005881

>if she stays

creepy af senpai

>>26005419

grab a blanket, put blanket near big couch.
lift her up, and bring her to the big couch w/ blanket.
spoon her and put the blanket over the both of us and go to sleep.
she will wake up screaming but thats ok.

>>26005972
>an undisclosed amount of hedonistic self-pleasure
DEGENERATE
>watching your sister spew and drown with glee
A-OK

Piety is worthless without compassion.

>take her into a secluded area
>take off her skirt
>take off her panties
>take a massive shit in her panties
>piss all over her skirt
>put panties back on
>put skirt back on
>leave

She will never know. For the rest of her life she will remember the time she shit and pissed herself at a party.

>>26006017
Theres nothing creepy about being a gentleman to a lady in distress.

"Stupid cunt" >Leaves

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>>26006084
unanticipated

>>26005883
Trouser arouser

>>26005705
Lol she's still holding her beer, she's not out.
>snatch that shit
>chug it all
>throw empty at her head
That simple.

>take her back to my place
>get rope and camera from basement
>set up camera on a timer
>make sure this whore is in the shot
>tie myself to a chair
>snap*
>accuse her of rape
>win millions in court

>>26005419
leave quickly before someone thinks i did something bad to her

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>>26005419
Assuming I actually know her?
Taker her home, or pass her off to one her lady friends.

On that note I've drank before, but never been drunk.
Sounds like shitty decision making to me.

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>mfw passed out girls are my fetish

>>26005419
Close my browser

>>26005419
Throw her in the street.

Check breathing then pulse.
Take her to bed.

>>26005419
take pics of her panties. Consider touching her vagina but probably don't because what if she wakes up and accuses me of rape. That's it.

>>26006873
>On that note I've drank before, but never been drunk.

>I'm a faggot - the post

>Sounds like shitty decision making to me.

>I'm a 59 year old conservative man with no friends trapped in the body of a 19 year old - the post.

You sound like an insufferable cunt.

>Slap her until she wakes up
>Tell her to get the fuck out of my house

Drunk women are the most obnoxious creatures on the planet.

>>26007453
>implying standing near her while she's drunk isn't rape

I would pass out at her feet so I can feel like a guard dog protecting my owner and if any one mentions it i'll just say "FUCK I WAS SO DRUNK I JUST PASSED OUT BRO"

>>26005972
You roll them on their side, senpai. Up and they choke, down and they drown.

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>>26005419
>play with her nipples
>take her top off suck on them
>roll her over
>sniff her butthole
>finger her butthole
>lick my fingers
>lick her butthole

This is what I did to my ex whenever she slept.

>>26005419
>Throw a blanket on her and leave
>Wonder why the fuck I am at a party and not and home jerking off to anime

>>26007495
This wake that drunk chick up. Then tell her to get the fuck out

>>26007657
This is INSANELY creepy.

>see if house owner has some hair clippers
>if yes, look in fridge/pantry for honey or something else sticky
>lift up shirt/dress
>pour honey/sticky substance all out
>shave head
>put all the hair in the honey/stickyshit
>wait 5 minutes
>put shirt/dress back to normal
>find marker
>write nigger hater on forehead and arms
>leave

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>>26005419

make sure she's comfortable, call/text anyone who might know her, and then leave her be until she wakes up. then render whatever assistance she might require.

I know what OP is expecting: "LOL I'd throw away my entire life to sexually assault a single average-looking female LMFAO" but the reality is that most people are not as mentally ill as OP and would actually treat her with respect.

>>26007700

Yup, dubs of truth. Not worth rape charges

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>>26007728
>She ended up cheating on me
No regrets.
I even took pictures.
Sometimes she'd like it, wake up horny and fuck me.

I love creeping on sleeping women.
Especially if they are your gf.
They rarely call the cops if you date them.

>>26005883
Seed steed

>>26006119
m'lady

This comment is as original as your neckbeard

>>26007852
>tiny weird penis

Why post this? Lmao

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>>26007939
cause it's a girl being crept on in her sleep.
Apparently it's the guys sister.
So it's some incest sleep creeping.
Very sexy stuff right here.

Here he is spreading her buttcheeks.
I bet her asshole smells wonderful.
I used to do this to my ex all the time.
Her butthole was a little hairy like hers, and looked just like that.

fuck i loved to lick it.

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Start boiling eggs.

>>26007992
>cause it's a girl being crept on in her sleep.

Nigga your dick looks like a popsicle stick without the popsicle

Don't post this shit ever again faggot

>>26007994
>Start boiling eggs
This

>>26008083
Hold back bro hold back you told him bro go easy bro it's cool bro chill out bro easy bro let him breathe bro

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>>26006873
Fuck I forgot about that image.

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>>26008083
That isn't my dick dumb roastie.
That is someone else creeping on their sister.

Are you a fucking autist?

>>26005419
>What is your next step?
Into the trash she goes

>>26005571

does she have to eat all the pancakes

>>26005468
>seal the deal.
elaborate

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>>26008083
admit you're wrong faggot

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>>26008083
NOT ME.
I DIDN'T DO IT.
FUCKING CONFESS FAGGOT

drag into the street and leave her there

>>26008144
>That isn't my dick dumb roastie.

DAMAGE CONTROL
A
M
A
G
E

C
O
N
T
R
O
L

>>26005593
>burying her alive in middle of nowhere
nice plan

>>26008219
>>26008225

forwarded to the FBI sex crimes division

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>>26008273
but it isn't.
>pic related
Half of these file names come from 4chan, and the other come from Imgur.
Why would I post my dick here?

Why would I give anything that incriminates myself?

You're insulting some strangers dick, and pretending like you told me off or something.
You retard.

>>26008295
Fbi isn't going to do shit about an act that I didnt commit on an adult female.

>>26008328
>actually posting timed and dated documentation of a sex crime on the internet, a which carries a penalty of a minimum 15 years in prison

w e w l a d
e
w
l
a
d

>>26005419
sharpie dicks on her forehead
go home

>>26005419
Fil up the bath tub
Drag her into the bath tub
Drown her
Call the police the next morning and tell them I found some dead bitch in my tub

>>26008396
Nah.
It's not CP.
So it's all good.

You'd be surprised how much I can post.
As long as it's not CP I won't even get banned on 4chan.

>>26005442
I was hoping this would be the first post. Did not disappoint. Thanks, anon.

>>26007735
Why did i lose my shit at 'nigger hater'

>>26008328
Post the top right corner one please that looks hot

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>>26008501
no problem my man.

>>26008470
Yeah because 'finding some dead bitch' in YOUR tub doesn't implicate you in any way at all

>>26008527
Yeah but they cannot prove that I was the one who out her I there

Get a marker pen and draw a cock on her face jizzing into her mouth.

>>26008516
Good lord she's hot. I wonder how he got so many clothes off without her waking up like damn

>>26005468
>waking up someone who passed out drunk at sunrise
way to go sperglord, now she's hungover and angry. good luck sealing that deal.

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>>26008576
he even managed to put her dick in her pussy.
My gf was a heavy sleeper and I even managed to stick my finger in her asshole when she was asleep without her waking up.

The girl is probably a heavy sleeper

>>26008328
post the photo with the cum on her naked ass. mwu3orb.

>>26008516
>>26008609
>doubles down on his crime

This is legitimately how people get caught by the way

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>>26008685
>This is legitimately how people get caught by the way
You have no connection to who I actually am.
Nice try.
Maybe if this wasn't an anonymous site it might actually effect me.
>>26008675
sure thing

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>>26008685
>This is legitimately how people get caught by the way
How am I going to get caught if my ex knows about what I did to her and still hasn't pressed charges?

Kek.
She already knows I fucking molested her, but for some weird reason she won't press charges.
You literally can't do shit.

KEK KEK KEK.

>>26008741
>You have no connection to who I actually am.

Except all the exif data in your photos and the IP you're posting with.

>anonymous site

Wow you actually believe this. Lol.

>>26008757
>I fucking molested her

dude just stop posting and delete this shit, lmfao, it's like you're begging to get v&'d

>>26008760
>Except all the exif data in your photos and the IP you're posting with.
Then who the fuck am I?
>>26008778
I'm not going to get vanned because she willingly let it happened, and I am not posting CP.

Literally nothing will happen to me.
So stay mad whiteknights

Record her sitting in the chair and continue recording while I drive to a bunch of stores and buy stuff. Receipts and video evidence will save me

>>26008795
>Literally nothing will happen to me.

Then why have you spent literally three hours nervously posting about it?

You're fucked, dude. The cops are already looking at your posts and figuring out how to charge you.

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>heh its 4chan I can discuss my crimes and nothing will happen because it disappears after a while

uh oh mr normie https://desustorage.org/r9k/thread/26005419/

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>>26008831
So the FBI is going to take me seriously, even though all I have done is talked shit on an anonymous message board?.

Do you understand how this shit works?
Kek.

I could give you my fucking address and they wouldn't do shit.
>>26008822
Kek sure buddy!


Keep trying.

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>>26008831
>tfw suddenly stops posting because he's legitimately afraid of being jailed

Good, fuck him, he basically begged to go to prison.

>>26008516

she's soo pretending to be asleep. its nice

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>>26008872
>I could give you my fucking address and they wouldn't do shit.
"hey this guy is posting pictures of him literally raping his sister, here's links to it and he also posted his address"

i guarantee you they would be at your house within like three hours

>>26008872
>even though all I have done is repeatedly provided direct photographic evidence of one of the most serious felonies on record whilst screaming "fuck the poh-leece"

Literally kill yourself you nigger, it's your only chance now.

The FBI is already on their way.

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>>26008875
>Suddenly stops
I don't see why I should stop posting some random images I found on /b/

And I don't see how this makes me guilty at all

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>>26008895
>"hey this guy is posting pictures of him literally raping his sister, here's links to it and he also posted his address"
EXCEPT IT ISN'T ME!
HAHA
You fucking retards think this is me.
I'm not even white!

>>26008872
>So the FBI is going to take me seriously, even though all I have done is talked shit on an anonymous message board?.
oh no, anon, nobody takes what people say on the internet seriously
thats why schools get shut down and people get arrested for bomb threats and school shooting threats

>>26008901
>he's still posting

Dude there have already been six separate reports to the FBI and three to your local PD

You really have no idea what you're trifling with here do you

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>>26008912
>I'm not even white!
even more fuel for the police

>>26008901
>>26008912
>this sudden damage control
my fucking sides
cant wait to read the news story about your arrest

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>>26008913
>>26008895
>>26008900
>>26008916
>>26008916
>bomb threat vs. reposting shit from /b/
You fucking fags must be 15 years old.
I'm crying of laughter right now.

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>>26008927
>>26008925
>>26008925
>>26008916
>>26008913
>>26008901
>>26008895
>>26008875
going to post some more for you guys

there's no way this chick is "sleeping".

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>>26008985
Yea that's the funniest part about it, these faggots think it's all real.

What are they fucking 12!?

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>>26008912
>I'm not even white!
well, neither are they.
the asian gene is dominant, so in order for them to be brother/sister, it means the brother is asian too.

>inb4 "b-but she's not asian!!"

look at the facial structure >>26007852 and here >>26008144 the two people have a completely different jawline, cheekbones and chin.

>>26009016
>THIS DAMAGE CONTROL
PFFFF

>>26009016

well actually, seeing those pill bottles its possible she is heavily drugged up.

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>>26009026
I'm not asian boy!
>>26009028
Idk it was some pictures I found on /b/

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>>26009026
>d-d-d-duh duh damage control
KEK you guys are a fucking joke.

I'm literally just dumping my fap folder and you're telling the FBI i'm posting incriminating pictures.

You guys are unreal right now.
Fuck dude, this is too damn good.

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>>26009052
>>26009079
>keeps responding to the same posts with a different excuse each time

it doesn't matter if you found them on /b/, it's still illegal to do, retard.

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This is my step-sister Dianne.
I rubbed my huge white cock on her face while she was sleeping.

Please don't tell the police.
:(

>>26009119
How is it illegal?
How exactly can you prove the girls aren't pretending to be asleep?

They are all over the age of 18, so it's very legal.

If I was posting CP you'd have a fair point.
You faggots are delusional as fuck.
The FBI isn't going to take this seriously at all.

This is literally shitpost: the thread. Mods please pull the plug

>>26009119
I could post the actual pictures of me groping my ex in her sleep and it still be fucking legal.

She knew about it and willingly allowed it.

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>nine separate reports to the FBI
>five separate reports to his local PD
>rapist anon is still posting new pics

just dox yourself so we can hack your FB already, this has really passed the point of no return for you amigo

>>26009213
>My local PD?
So where am I located exactly?

>>26007815
Triple dubs of truth

>this thread
This takes the word newfag to another level

>>26009301
/r9k/ seriously is cancer right now.
newfags have flocked to try to imprison some anon for reposting pictures.

Do they seriously think every post is legitimate?

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>>26009301
>>26009323
>67 separate IP's in the thread
>didn't go up when these 2 got posted
nice damage control, noticed you stopped dumping your illegal activity

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>>26009335
I've done nothing illegal and I haven't change my IP once.
What the hell is wrong with you?
You're a fucking imbecile.

Do you realize that there are weekly sleep-creep threads on /b/?

>>26009213
Get off my board white knight fag.
Jesus christ.

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>>26009335
Me and >>26009301 are not the same person.
I've used the same IP for every post I have made.

Here's your proof.

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>>26009323
People whiteknighting 'normies' or horrible people got bigger, too
for shame
>>26009335
I posted something earlier and I just came back from breakfast, try again

>>26009370
>don't you realize that lots of people commit crimes?

Dude you have 25 counts on this thread alone, I'd *seriously* stop if I were you and delete the images you've already posted.

It's like you're literally begging to go to jail. Like do you not realize this is an actual crime where you live? It's not a crime everywhere but it IS a crime where YOU are a resident.

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>>26009390
And this is the part where the weeaboo shitposter claims shoop, right

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>>26009387
These idiots actually think I'm going to go to jail for reposting pictures.

It's fucking unbelievable who reddit we have become.

>>26005705
>realize that I don't have a sister
>grab my revolver
>unload six times into her head

>>26009427

you're going to end up on the news for this

>>26005419
Holy shit this picture looks like my cousin where did you get it from?

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>>26009417
Precisely.
>>26009410
Sorry man, I'm not going to go to jail for this, and I'm not even going to get banned for this.

This is shit that happens all the time and /s/ and /b/
Not a single picture I have posted have had myself in it or any woman I have dated.
You don't even know where I fucking live.

I'm not going to get arrested.
I'll post until fucking dawn to prove it.
>>26009434
Nah I'm not.

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>the one needle-dicked anon who hijacks the thread by admitting to raping an ugly chick

Why do I even post on this website

>>26009439
Just when we all thought this thread couldn't get any worse, you show up. Go to bed.

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>the one literal needle-dicked anon who hijacks the thread by admitting to raping an ugly chick

Why do I even post on this website

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>I WON'T GO TO JAIL
>I WON'T GO TO JAIL
>IT WON'T HAPPEN

Dude it's between twenty minutes and you've made twenty-four posts saying you won't get in trouble.

Dial down the autism and just delete your posts if you're really this worried.

>>26009457
No I'm serious she looks exactly like my cousin

>>26009482
What's his local PD

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Spider Man thread

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Peter Parker and Mary Jane sitting on a web watching a meteor shower

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>>26009462
>>26009452
>>26009482
>>26009451
>>26009410
>>26009335
>>26009119
>>26009026
>>26008925
>>26008927
>>26008916
>>26008913
>>26008912
>>26008901
>>26008895
>>26008875
>>26008831
>>26008822
>>26008778
>>26008685
You guys are fucking morons.
Pic related.

I am completely innocent

>newfag shitstain redditors losing their cool because someone has a sleep sex fetish
Fucking burgers

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Peter sitting on his bed being a depressed fuck because no cookies and milk

>>26009542

tell it to the judge cuz

>>26009482
He was responding to people, sperglord

>>26009569
Lmao it will never come to that, but that is evidence enough.

Everything else I said could be pure conjecture and bullshit.
People tried to accuse me of posting pictures of myself committing a crime.

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Spider looking destressed

>34 replies
>he's still responding

who /saving these pictures for evidence/ against this sick cuck?

>>26009599
Why wouldn't I respond?
It's not like I'm going to be arrested for reposting porn now am I?
http://www.imagefap.com/pictures/5293048/sleeping-girlfriend-used

>>26009604
The only evidence you have is that, I have a sleeping fetish.

You faggots really think you're going to scare my ass.

Nice try
http://www.imagefap.com/pictures/5293048/sleeping-girlfriend-used

>>26009624

nice try buddy, i'm not clicking on your trapped link. you better start posting all your pictures so that i can verify your authenticity.

>>26009648
kek.
the funny thing is there were actual faggots in here that thought I committed a crime.

I did totally diddle my ex in her sleep though, she knew about it though.

ew I just masturbated to these photos... i didn't want to.... i got some kind of urge. cyber rape, really op? you're going away for a long time

>>26009679

u fokkin normie wot

>>26009689
Make sure you report it to the fbi, janitors, your local pd and op's pd :^)

>>26009689
>you fapped to them
hah I'll see you in prison too.
I was never OP anyway.

>>26009689

>"heh...u.. are going away for a long...time, u sick fuck.... heh.."

>>26005419
>creep over
>"are uh... you ok?"
>no response
>touch her arm
>"are you ok?"
>no response
>look around
>lean in close
>my mouth is right next to her ear
>"I swer to fuckin' christ m8 if you shit you shit yourself on my grandpa's old smoking chair I will literally snap ur fuckin' neck"
>go to bed

>>26009736

>not licking her earlobe and smelling her hair

do you even /creep/?

>>26005468
What is the prospect she is going to piss, shit and spew everywhere?

ITT: literal retards crying over reposts

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>he's still replying

16 separate reports tot the FBI
26 separate reports to your local PD

>>26009993

bich i'll lick your smelly pussy at full force

>>26009993
bait harder newfriend
>>26009542

>>26009993
http://www.imagefap.com/pictures/5293048/sleeping-girlfriend-used
Does this make you feel better whiteknight?

>>26010048
>quadrupling-down on your first-degree forcible felony

Wow this is some next-level autism

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STAND GUARD

>>26010104
>quadrupling-down on your first-degree forcible felony
Still implying that I've committed a felony.
Kek.
You must think I'm a newfag.

This shit does not scare me at all.
Nothing bad will happen to me.
If you think something bad will happen to me, then you're the newfag.

>>26010164
>HE
>IS
>STILL
>REPLYING

It's been five hours, you should probably stop now

>>26010184
I'd stop if there was any actual chance of me going to prison.
But because there isn't.

I have literally no reason to.

>>26010184
youre still trying to bait him though famalam

>>26005419
get a bowl of warm water and dip her hand in
wait till she pisses
fap

>>26010200

Six and a half hours.

You've been desperately replying for six and a half hours.

What is your defense?

>>26010544
I saw the word "bowl" and thought I knew where this was going, but you threw me for a loop.

Bravo.

But seriously, you should've just made her eggs.

This shit still going

>post some legal porn that robots might like
>get v&
It just doesn't add up

>>26005593
>ctrl + F "crashing this place"
>1 match

Good job, familia.

>>26010813
You can be banned for just about anything.

The FBI has most of us under surveillance.

>>26005711
This would be the best possible outcome

The underage cuck anon claiming this is illegal is making my morning.

>>26011102
***vanned

Fucking autocorrect. Sorry, FBI.

>>26005442
great first post it wasa the first thing that came to mind i said it out loud when seeing the thread and when i opened it i saw this post and i felt a little bit of joy inside me good job anon this is what 4chan is about great for making my day thanks

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>>26011111
Quints stolen
>>26011112

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>>26007852
>found out the fun way my ex had sexsomnia the day before we broke up
>tfw stuck with a lifetime of an essentially unfulfillable fetish

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>>26009689
>cyber rape
very nice

What a fucking horrible thread

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Jesus Christ this thread is so unbearable could you faggots really be this dense to think those pics are really of his sister? Holy shit the newfaggotry of this is unbelievable whoever is reporting this shit to the FBI is gonna be the one getting v& for harassing them with false accusations

>>26008295
Unfortunately this is still too little evidence to do an investigation on.

>>26008778
He honestly can't get in trouble for any of this.

1). First amendment
2). Random pictures alone aren't enough to make solid investigation or case against someone. Good luck being able to track this person down (or the subject of the picture) in order to confirm who's involved. And even then you still have to gather more evidence to make a conclusive case.
3). It's posted on the internet. Obviously, and notoriously, shifty in terms of reliable sources of information.
4). He could just as easily be lying/trolling for kicks, which often gets in the way of criminal cases and arresting people.
5). You still need the subject (girl in the pic) to press charges, not the FBI. If she's not bothered by this, or is aware and okay with it, or too uncomfortable to proceed any further; there's absolutely nothing the FBI, police, or any lawful authority can do here. The most important variable here is the victim (if she is one). Which means a). good luck finding her; b). good luck getting a confession out of her; c). good luck confirming whether a crime actually took place; d). good luck engaging what her actually feelings on the matter is; and e). good luck convincing her to come forward if she's not comfortable proceeding any further (or is genuinely not bothered by what happen).

And if it's a random guy at a party, I doubt she'd be able to recognise him here. Whoever did this has already gotten away with it.