I found out a few minutes ago that my cousin's 9 month old daughter passed away. She stopped breathing on her own and her heart was failing. For some reason, the doctors could do nothing. About 8 or 9 hours in the hospital before she died.
My sister seemed to take it WAY harder than I did. She cried a lot and vocally when she heard the news that she was dying and when she died. I did not cry like that. I cried silently, but most of my tears were for her mother who I feel deeply sad for and cannot even begin to imagine the pain she feels. My sister and I both only saw the baby twice - once when she was just a couple weeks old, sleeping, unable to be held or interact; also about two months ago. My cousin came to our place briefly with her, and my sister held her. I held her for a moment but she cried to back to my sister. Idk if my sister just had a much greater emotional attachment because of that moment. I do remember being enamored with her at the time and kissing her little fingers - the attachment isn't there though. But I'm sure my reaction is peculiar to my sister considering I have TWO little girls on the way. I am deeply sorry for what happened, but ultimately, I didn't know the baby. When my sister first heard the news she came out crying, and I heard my cousin's name so I thought he must have died or was dying and my ears were not ready for the news - finding out it was his baby sort of set the scene right there for my lack of broken-heartedness. But I'm truly, truly saddened for her family. The death of a baby is a terrible thing and that in itself can make anyone cry - but it is a bit awkward when my reaction is less than that of my sister. She's always been a far more compassionate and sympathetic/empathetic person than me. It's not surprising that she cried so much, but I feel kind of bad that I didn't cry as much. I know that sounds terribly selfish, but I'm sure you felt this way about something in your life before.
Anyways, the mother did not deserve this pain and tragedy, to lose a child after such a short time on this earth, a child she tried so hard to have. It really opened my eyes to the reality of mortality of everyone, even infants. We truly take life for granted. I'm not trying to imply that I've been emotionally hardened by 4chan....although it honestly is possible despite the fact that I've never been the really emotional type....but I think it would be best for me to go. That beautiful little girl does inspire me to be a better person - she had a good mother that loved her more than anything in the world. I don't deserve mine if I can't be the same way.
I originally made this thread so you guys could maybe explain my lack of emotions. Say terrible things about me or share similar feelings. Hopefully you do because, this is the last thread I'll be a part of.
So long space robots...
You still here OP?
I think you took it harder than you thought, people just express grief in different ways. Your sister may have cried so passionately, but for fucks sake you intend to an hero after hearing the bad news. What would that even accomplish at this point? Your family is still grieving the passing of your cousin's child, how do you expect them to take your death too?
You stated yourself that you are expecting two kids of your own, if nothing else stay for them.
I'm here...I don't plan to off myself. I just want to be a better person, starting with letting go of 4chan once I go to bed.
>people just express grief in different ways
That's true. That's about the best I can take from this situation.
Well shit man that was so vague.
I'm of the opinion that 4chan doesn't necessarily make you better or worse, just depends on what you try to get out of the site.
Either way, I hope you better yourself and become a better dad for your girls.
Wow is this /tumblr/? That little shit wasn't even alive a year. It couldn't form long term memories or be aware of it's existence. It was pretty much a parasite that got squished. Save your tears for something that matters.
you are not wrong... you are just different.. you feel different....
something like that happened to me when my uncle died back in 2010 due a car accident........ life is short you know .....
that what makes me feel that ive been chased by a train...... anyway.... so long space robots!
hope you can find peace somewhere else
That's the kind of stuff that life is really made of, OP, the stuff that we try to deny and push down and defuse with platitudes. Most people go through life with severe just world bias and optimism bias in order to structurally deny what's really the case. Once in a while people may snap out of it in times of crisis like this, but they soon go back to their life of denial.
The reality is of course that this type of stuff and worse happens all the time and that the statistical likeliness that horrible stuff will happen to you within your lifetime is tremendous.
The only proper reaction, in my opinion, is to arrive at the conclusion that creating new people is immoral and should be avoided.
If this event inspired you to be a better person, the first thing to do would be getting a vasectomy.
Thanks for sharing...I guess her death will be ruled as SIDS. It seems to fit all the criteria... Heard the term before, but now that its hit close to home, I have to hope for the best and take all preventative measures for my own. Never take an infants life for granted...
Nobody fucking cares about your cousin's dead fucktrophy
Leave this board forever norman.
I hope your roastie whore of a cousin kills herself over this. It's her fault the fucking thing is dead. She couldn't even do the one thing she built for right. Stupid whore
Kill yourself OP
Fuck all of you edgey underage b&s, this is exactly why OP is leaving 4chan.
Hope you live well OP, I agree with >>26003912 and think you are a good person for caring.
desu I don't know why people get so sad about kids sub 1 year old dying. They don't really develop a personality or anything, and you can just make another one. Feel the same way about miscarriages, its like 'nothing ventured, nothing gained', right?
I'd be sad if a 2 year old died, because they could probably talk etc, you'd have memories with them, and be able to think about their potential. But a baby is just... a baby. You can always make another one.
Your sister cried more vocally because she is a woman, and women crave attention, and crying gets you lots of attention. Maybe she wasn't conscious of this fact, but that's what's going on. Don't feel bad--your emotions are not a fucking stage show to put on for other people's benefit. If you cry, you cry. If you don't, you don't.
Don't worry, man.
You said it yourself that you're not as empathetic as your sister. It wasn't your baby and you feel horribly sad for the parents.
That sounds like a normal enough reaction to me.
Not like you heard the news and felt nothing, or were happy. You're not a monster.
I commend you for leaving, since this is a very negative place most of the time, but I want you to know, if you're reading this, that you're okay.
Well that all depends on your personal judgement of course, we have no objective way to measure pain and pleasure and make up the balance.
I'd say the risk of horror is too great for me to make the decision for another person though. I'd never make the gamble myself to bring someone into the world knowing all the stuff that could happen to them. I don't think I could live with myself if I would have made a kid with a severe case of 'bad luck'.