How did you avoid killing yourself yet?
Men with Avoidant Personality are so fucking pathetic. We're the opposite of manliness, just weak trash to be used and discarded by other people. Women literally laugh at us, nothing makes them drier than a passive male with avoidant. We're the antithesis of attractiveness. No girl could ever love a spineless pussy like me, even if I didn't have a weak jaw and chin.
l get hurt on 4chan daily when someone calls me names but I keep coming here. I'm starting to realize my friends don't really like me since I'm a 27 year old NEET virgin and they're all successful, getting married and shit. I don't fit in so I avoid them. I feel like ripping my eyes out while writing this.
I wish I was never born. From an evolutional point of view males like me shouldn't exist.
I don't know. I don't know what to do. All I want to do is stay inside, but life is passing me by. I already missed out on my entire youth. I just want someone to love and stay inside with.
This is true. I was a pretty social kid, I was always a class clown. But around like 12 years old I started to really drift away. Years of emotional abuse piled up with my own insecurities and now I can't even talk on the phone. I kept maybe 3 friends until the end of high school and even then I never felt like I belonged with them. They were always doing stuff together and I was just there. They had their own lives and I leaned on them like a crutch because I couldn't talk to or trust anyone else. They were nerdy but they had girlfriends and went to social outings while I stayed inside. Once everyone went off to university, I haven't heard from them since.
I have AvPD and DPD (dependent, on my parents) until my early 20s. Probably worse than most, was full-blown agoraphobic and hikki, too scared to make phone calls, couldn't go outside at all. Also obviously social anxiety, tons of self-loathing that persists to this day.
I fixed it by self-administering exposure therapy. You can fix it.
Life is pretty good once you fix it. Now I like being alone, but I also have friends. I am wary and selective about socialising, but this lets me avoid the drama and bullshit that most normalfags are tossed about by their whole lives. I'm withdrawn but not shy, and years of being terrified of making the slightest errors, and having to train myself from the ground up to be confident enough just to buy food and go to a job, made me surprisingly outgoing and confident.
Life really is too short to waste it being scared of dumb bullshit. I had to train away the emotional and instinctive stuff, like feeling endlessly bad that a bus driver laughed at me because I didn't know how where to put my money, but on the purely mental level I just stopped caring. If I have to be seen by everyone in the world as a weird little sperg forever, I don't care. I'm going to do the things that I want and go to the places that I want to go regardless.
How did you do it? I'm a fucking loser that feels like ge can barely function. I isolate the shit out of myself and can't stop hating myself. How does exposure therapy work and where do I start?
I hope you're serious
Not that anon, but exposure therapy does work. It's when you expose yourself to whatever you're afraid of enough to break your mental conditioning about it. It sucks at first but it gets easier over time.
It's an anxiety disorder that's basically extreme insecurity, shyness, and fear of failure/rejection/criticism. You have a fucked-up self image, basically no self esteem, and your main way of dealing with problems is just avoiding challenging or frightening situations.
It can get pretty severe, to the point where you get full-blown agoraphobia and can't leave the house without panic attacks.
>A pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation, and avoidance of social interaction despite a strong desire to be close to others.
>People with avoidant personality disorder often consider themselves to be socially inept or personally unappealing and avoid social interaction for fear of being ridiculed, humiliated, rejected, or disliked. As the name suggests, the main coping mechanism of those with avoidant personality disorder is avoidance of feared stimuli.
You're like me then. My mother has Narcissistic PD and dad was never there, barely any contact with during formative years. I wonder if there is correlation between Narcissistic and Avoidant
My husband is diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder, dependent subtype. He doesn't work, or cook, and it's been a process getting him confident enough to do chores. He doesn't leave the house without me, and I haven't seen him speak to anyone besides myself and his father for months, even online.
>My husband is diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder
How? From a biological standpoint there's nothing more disgusting for a woman seeking mate than an omega male with avoidant.
I don't have avoidant personality disorder. I just have lost interest in all human relationships and don't want to put up with the obligations that come with them, I swear!
>t's an anxiety disorder that's basically extreme insecurity, shyness, and fear of failure/rejection/criticism. You have a fucked-up self image, basically no self esteem, and your main way of dealing with problems is just avoiding challenging or frightening situations.
This is how I act and feel (Inadequacy, inferiority, etc) and I only had 1 friend that I lost when highschool ended.However, I don't get anxiety when I'm near people, I just talk normally, or avoid them. Do I have this shit or I'm just fucked up in ways I can't even imagine.
For context, I'm a 22 KHHV with zero friends
nah, i actively resist the insistence that i justify my existence to others.
keep in mind that when normies tell you 'all life is precious', they make a distinction between 'living' and 'just existing'.
>submissive, both in personality and sexuality
>tfw I'm fucking doomed
I studied architecture so I designed lots of buildings and shit for the workshops. I used to draw, but I don't draw anymore. I like music, so I've been thinking about creating songs on FL or something like that, not for recognition or selling them, just for me.
So in the end, nowadays I don't have any hobbies, I just go to a part time job like any wagecuck. I don't lift and I don't want to.
I can see how that would work, but I feel like I'd be an even more hollow person by the end of it.
I don't have any interests besides sitting inside on the internet and maybe listening to music or watching shows. Every time an opportunity to do something arose as a kid, I would get scared of doing it wrong or being bad at it and not do it. And if I start lying about my personality, I'll literally have nothing left that's actually me.
So I guess I've probably got this. I always just avoid things because I think I will fail. Sometimes I think that deep down I'm really something special and that I've got a lot of potential and I'm just wasting it all and everything good about me is eroding from disuse and knowing that all my issues are psychological and understanding all of them does not help me change at all.
I did this and now everyone gives me shit for not doing things that AvPD have trouble doing. Getting a job, drinking with "friends", going to the movies, going out to eat, going outside in general.
I am too much of a coward to kill myself. Last week I was going to OD on welbutrin and adderall but chickened out after only six welbutrin tablets. The really pathetic thing is that I know I will try and fail again in the near future because I am so worthless I can't even kill myself properly.
I honestly wish I was dead every single day of my life. There is literally not a single good thing about me.
Holy shit, I've been thinking this is the solution. If you take away narcissists self defense mechanisms you're basically left with avoidants. The trick is getting yourself to accept something you know to be a lie. This is a good way to frame it.
True. They both stem from a complete obsession with the self; it's just manifested in essentially opposite ways.
Doing this actually made me develop hobbies and interests. Before it I was just an apathetic lump.
in a way
it's more paranoia than narcissism i think. you think everyone is watching you and scrutinizing you and judging you when in reality nobody cares, you're just another person. but everyone has criticizing eyes, everyone is waiting for you to fuck up and embarrass yourself and they're all going to silently laugh at you and hate you.
it's not narcissism in a traditional way. my number 1 priority/goal in life is to just make other people happier. i've already given up on myself, i'm worthless. i just want to help others, to my own detriment often. i'm a fucking doormat. people walk all over me. if i ever get a girlfriend who can tolerate my bullshit she'll manipulate me and use me and cheat on me and i won't do anything about it because i'm a fucking omega
So from a pharmacological treatment standpoint, would you treat it with antipsychotics or what? I've tried lots of antidepressants, but I realize this is the real issue I need to treat, and the depression is just a side effect.
I was you once OP I was super beta and wanted to kill myself blah blah blah.
But then I read some books that really helped me be more of a "man"
I would recommend the "48 laws of power" and the "satanic bible"
If you still want to doe after reading, be my guest
>inb4 edge lord
How do AvPD do with jobs? I'm finally being forced to get one a year after graduating college, but I just can't do it even with the threat of being kicked out. I just don't want to have to see people everyday.
>tfw when im avoidant and dependant at the same time.
>Even sexually i would rather have a women control the situation.
>ive literally only taken one big chance my entire life.
>when i fail at something i feel as if im destroyed.
>cant handle even the slightest criticism even if its not meant to be hurtful.
>i constantly push people away some im not rejected even my family members.
>constantly feel self concious.
>avoid most conversations completely or if i dont i reply with hmm or yah.
>im the beta as fuck by nature.
>have autism fetishes like hands.
Sorry im spewing its just i need to tell someone even if it falls on deaf ears. I hope at least one or two other robots understand how i feel.
I'm 19 and the only job I've worked is a cashier at a grocery store which you think would be a terrible fit but it's actually okay. I've built up a little bit of tolerance to being around strangers, although I still would rather shoot myself than "chit-chat" with them. Customers like it because I don't talk to them and get them through ASAP and I like it because it forces me to make eye contact with people.
>tfw too mentally fucked up to ever be a normal human being
While most people had big dreams going into college, all I wanted to do was be normal and have friends. What is the point of life if I can't even accomplish something so easy for others?
Give it a read anon you will be surprised. It really isn't all about hail Satan 666! It's more about how you are your own God and you should treat yourself like one and. Don't mind everyone and everything that doesn't agree with you
I feel ya man. Especially with the criticism part. This one time someone made a comment on a girl I liked looks and I stopped liking her after that day because of it. I've convinced myself that everyone is an idiot so my thoughts can stay my own, but honestly that just isolated me more.
Its been 7 years now and I honestly can't say it is getting any better. Someone mentioned narcissism in this thread and I honestly have to agree that it does help to an extent. Won't cure you though.
Im the same way people sway my thoughts way to much. So i also started to pick up on being narcissistic. Helped a little.
I have a handful of diagnoses, but never AVPD, though I've always though it sounded like me.
I'm an aspie, apparently. The anxiety of socializing is pretty bad. I crave friendship or relationships, but I've never been good at... at having them. I don't understand people. I'm extremely critical and hateful of myself and toward others. When I start a new job, it's awful for the first few months. I constantly think I suck at everything and minor criticisms make me feel like AIDS.
I've always been able to find one person to look up to and bond with, usually someone outspoken and strong to lead me and guide me. I try and form something with them, as fleeting as it may be. I've never had anyone I considered my friend. No one is as loyal to me as I am to them.
I've managed to function and cope with my aspieness or antisocialness or whatever, but only barely.
Actually helps glad im not the only one.
I volunteer working with regards and I'm sick and tired of people coming up and talking to me as if I am one. They just assume because I'm ugly and weird and with the other regards that I'm retarded
>tfw everybody made jokes behind your back about shooting up the school
>tfw you had to act extra carefully the day after some big school shooting on the news
>tfw you are scared to walk behind a girl at night
>tfw you literally cant make eye contact because of panic attacks
>tfw people just assume you are rude or disinterested
>tfw you always look pissed off
>tfw you try to speak up in a group but nobody notices
>tfw you have to give a presentation in class
>tfw you are too scared to drive because you know you will fuck it up
>tfw the cashier keeps asking you to repeat yourself
>behind my back... i literally had some stacy cunt tell me to my face that she thought i would shoot up the school.
>people also tell me i look pissed 24/7 and that im not intersted in what they have to say.
>i also dont drive.
FUCK this thread hits home
Yeah one of my fourth grade teachers really believed I was autistic just because I never talked in her class. She had loads of different doctors and pseudo science hippy fags come in and do tests and talk with me while the other kids were at the playground. She never consulted or talked with my parents about this I later found out. Bitch almost seriously fucked up my childhood. Good thing I there were lots of other schools in the area, so I just told my parents I wanted to go to a different one.
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
>Would I date a trans girl?
>... I'd probably date a trans girl?
>But I don't like penises. Do I care? I mean, as long as she loved me and she felt like a girl? I think I could date a trans girl. That would be nice. I'd definitely jerk off her dick if she asked.
>Would I date a trap though?
>I'd probably date a trap.
>WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING
>avoid everyone as much as possible
>avoid family as much as possible too
>avoid people in video games and never join guilds or add friends
>avoid forums that require you to post with a username
>buy games and stuff only through amazon
>tfw cant make eye contact with white woman your raping
>tfw too embarrassed to do a drive-by
>tfw you dont get invited to join a gang
>tfw cant talk to cellmate
>tfw your dealer asks you to speak up
>tfw the person you mugging asks you to repeat yourself
>playing an online game
>don't use text, don't use mic
>game ends and we win
>"hey, good job anon"
>get a friend invite after the game
>stare at it
>life is handing me a potential friendship opportunity on a silver platter
>brain concocts a million scenarios where I add him and he doesn't like me or he thinks I'm boring or we play a game and I make us lose or he gets tired of me or I can't think of anything to say or I ruin it by being weird
>ignore friend request
>about to get on bus
>know that people I know live in the same area and might be on the bus
>bus rolls up
>"there's plenty of buses haha they won't be on this one no way" I tell myself
>they're on the bus
>have panic attack
>sit down as quickly as possible and pretend not to see them
I have some serious fucking problems
Sorry, I wrote that at work and had to go home.
Like the other guy said, exposure therapy simply works. When I first started, I had to start by going out for walks at like 2 in the morning, to get over the fear of passing cars looking at me. My next big hurdle was meeting my mommy at the bus station after she got back from work every day, and I had to walk past a school and tons of normies and shit. Every time I passed someone on the sidewalk I seized up, didn't know what to do, etc. Hell, when I first started I didn't even know how to swing my arms while walking, and I got tons of my ideas about the world from TV - I couldn't figure out whether to say "bye" on the telephone (which also took me like a year of exposure to use) because no one seems to do it on TV. I was THAT bad. On top of the fear, I pathologically hated myself to the point of self-harm.
My AvPD mostly stemmed from being that level of feral. Not sure what it's like for others and I don't claim to speak for others, but maybe avoidance due to social anxiety is still similar, if less severe?
Just start doing it. Take baby steps. Get friends who can help you, if at all possible, but make sure they know you want to take it slow and they're not just BE URSELF BRAH normies who will ditch you when you don't feel comfortable going to a baseball game or something.
It takes a long time before it becomes a self-aware process. Unfortunately the hardest part of building a pyramid is that largest bottom layer, and you won't even get an elevated view of what you're doing until you get the first layer down. But once you do, each layer is smaller and smaller, and you can see your previous progress more and more, and see that you're coming near the future peak.
I'm still weird but it's so distant for me now. I am more outgoing than normies because I had to build a robo-outgoingness from junk while normies just have mediocre innate outgoingness. It's really worth it, man.
>Men with Avoidant Personality are so fucking pathetic. We're the opposite of manliness, just weak trash to be used and discarded by other people. Women literally laugh at us, nothing makes them drier than a passive male with avoidant. We're the antithesis of attractiveness. No girl could ever love a spineless pussy like me, even if I didn't have a weak jaw and chin.
all true but not even on my mind 99% of the time because I AVOID people like you're supposed to do, retard.
When I don't see or talk to other people for ages I don't even remotely think about this shit and am totally immersed in my anime and video games or whatever. Cut off all of your social interaction.
Also, by all means get a therapist, get professional help, etc. I am not saying it's an all-or-nothing do-it-yourself thing.
I seriously cannot convey to you how much happier I am. I still FEEL the avoidant and anxious instincts every single day, in every thing I do, and I get to consciously reply "fuck off" and shut them down and do stuff anyway.
If you've ever watched those kinda dumb PUA videos where the guys are practicing striking out and not caring, or practicing saying weird dumb things to girls with a straight face and not beta'ing out, it's kind of like that. You just get so used to it after a while. It's the best fucking feeling in the world, when you originally came from a place where you were too scared to make a fucking phone call because you were afraid the Grand Council of Normies would judge you harshly for messing up some basic ritual you don't know. I still remember the time I finally had the courage to go into a coffee shop and buy coffee for the first time, after YEARS of being scared of standing in the wrong spot or looking like an autismo because I didn't know how to pay or something like that.
All I can say is, start working on it ASAP. It will eat years of your life if you avoid dealing with it. The most beautiful thing is that any progress is progress, anything helps. Just get outside and be around people more and even that is helpful.
And above all, forgive yourself for being you. If you're weird, you're weird. If you're going to be "that guy" who doesn't know how to order coffee or who makes an ass of himself every time he gets on the bus, who cares? This piece of advice is dangerously close to normie LOL JUST GET OVER IT XD!!! but it's fucking true.
Also: Normies are nowhere near as collected as you think they are. They are fucking up constantly, probably as much as you are, the only difference is they are used to laughing it off. Normies constantly fuck up and do the wrong thing and look stupid. CONSTANTLY.
>a pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation, and avoidance of social interaction despite a strong desire to be close to others.
>despite a strong desire to be close to others
Everyone is different. Some people, like myself, can't just give up the desire to be around people. I don't want to cut ties, I want to be normal.
I literally couldn't care less about having a GF, I just want some fucking friends. But then whenever I spend time with anyone, even people whose personalities I feel like I should really like, I feel as if I'm having the worst time in the world.
I'm terrified of being hit by a car, or getting cancer or dying in some other freak way because of the thought of my parents being the only people at my funeral and wondering where all my friends are before realizing that the life of their only child meant nothing to anyone and was absolutely worthless.
I honestly think I'm worse at communicating online than in real life. In real life we can read each others' body cues and facial cues and they can clearly tell I'm uncomfortable so they lead the conversation a little.
Online there's none of that shit. Pure text, no inflection, no cues.
Plus online I have the easy escape of "I can leave this conversation and just log off whenever I want. I've left conversations mid-way through because I get too overwhelmed or nervous. I can't just run away when talking to someone in real life.
I think I might have this shit
Every kind of new environment, situation or people scares me shitless, I'm constantly afraid of fucking up, making dumb mistakes and looking like a sperg
Like I can't even play online games with a ranking system unless I know for a fact that I'm really good at them, and even then I still get ladder anxiety
But I don't feel like I have that many self esteem issues, I'm just terrible in social situations so I kind of avoid them not to make an ass out of myself