You die today. Who comes your funeral next week?

>implying I would have a funeral

Just incinerate my body and throw the ashes in the trash.

>>25984066
My only friend and my mom.
If someone else comes I have no idea who might be.

>funeral

you funny guy

Mother, sister, brother in law, estranged father and his new wife and probably her parents. Aunty, Uncle and cousins from mother's side. Doubt anyone from my father's side would come.

As for friends I know of two who which would definitely come along with their respective partners. Any one else that comes would probably be more coming out respect to those two friends rather me. I'd estimate that to be a group of around 10 people at max but could be more. I used to be close to a lot of them, maybe they'd actually show?

Two former work friends I see occasionally would probably come, along with the husband of one of them.

All up maybe a maximum of 40 - 50 people with a minimum of 25?

Around 200 people

Oh the perks of living in a small town where everyone knows eachother.

>>25984066
I dunno, mom, brother and maybe some older relatives. I doubt much of my cousins would ever bother to come.

>>25984066
>implying I will be found before next week

>>25984066
>funeral next week

It would probably take a month before my work noticed that I wasn't just "working" remotely.

Bills are all on automatic payments; I have automatic transfers from other accounts to the checking account I pay bills from, and they will draw on lines of credit if the accounts they use run dry.

I might not be found for years!

Wife, wife's family. My three friends and everyone from work.

My family all hate me because I left Islam. Trump 2016!

>having a funeral
>making people pay for your death
wat
dumbest ritual ever

>>25984066
>implying i'd have a funeral

>>25984066
>Who comes your funeral next week?
A lot of people, sadly. They're hopefully I'll become a functional member of society, but I shall disappoint.

In death my body might actually serve a purpose...

>>25984066
Parents, grandparents, possibly cousins. Ten people at best.
>tfw no friends.

>>25984066
My family and mom's friends.

I hope I'll still be alive in a way like that movie enter the void.

>>25984066
Mother, father, brother, and sister. That's it. That's why I would take a week long hike into the wilderness with a revolver so nobody could ever find me.

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My parents and brother.
Maybe one or two of my brothers friends.

Who cares? No one is invited

My mom, my grandma, my uncle, probably my aunt, maybe my cousin.
From friends - probably none.

Around 20 people, 25 at most

My mom, aunt, father, and two or three friends. I suspect some other people will come for their sake.

If I die today it would be by my own hands. No one will know.

/r9k/... will you attend my funeral

>>25984066
I am setting up a trust to pay for john shepard to show up to my FUNeral

who else should I get to come?

Aside from my parents and their respective extended family's (so about 30ish people maybe more, extended family all lives close and is fairly tight-nit), somewhere between 4-10 "friends" including my two roomates.

If it was held in my home town, about 150-200 friends, relatives, past coworkers/aquaintances. If there was a memorial service in my college town probably upwards of 500. And yet in life I feel so alone.

My brother, my parents and my grandparents. Maybe my aunt too.

>my immediate family
>maybe one or two relatives from m mother's side
>my boss / a rep from work

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my wife and son.

>>25985477
You should call your doctor, your meds aren't adjusted properly.

>protip: those are full-on celebrity/politician/philanthropist numbers
No normies let alone robots could pull those figures.

>>25984066
My family, my friends, maybe coworkers, though I just started a new job and I'm not too close to any of them yet.

>>25985563
Eveey time someone dies at my college at least 500 normies have a candlelight vigil at the beach, so going based off of that. my hometown is pretty small, and everyone knows everyone pretty much. I've been to multiple funerals there, they're always packed.
Not as far fetched as you think.

Follow up question

If you dropped dead this instant, how long would it be before somebody found your corpse?

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I don't want a funeral, I want diamonds made out of my ashes, and then used in cutting equipment

Honestly, I could probably net around 100 people. Fraternity + Catholic boys school gives a lot of people who know you personally and would probably show if allowed to come.

>>25984066
My mother and sister, two or three of my friends. Now that I think about it I'm acquainted with a lot of people.

>Parents
>Brother
>Like 10 friends
>other family

>>25985691
>Eveey time someone dies at my college at least 500 normies have a candlelight vigil at the beach, so going based off of that.
> I've been to multiple funerals there, they're always packed.
Oh. I hereby recant my earlier statement.

>>25984066
>three friends
>maybe my aunt and two cousins
>my mom and dad

That's it