>>25976235 right now i'm having the worst depressive spelll i've ever had usually i can put on a song i enjoy or dream of a life i will never have but now i've stopped finding enjoyment in anything and i've stopped longing for the lives i dream up for myself or even a better life in general because the things that i dream of i no longer wish for if i am going to do it its going to be in the next few days
whenever I can pay a couple of debts off I'm in my 30s, uneducated, never had a gf or job that paid over $9/hour, been homeless several times already
if I somehow made it to retirement age I'd be living off the nearly poverty-level income provided by our social security ('murica fuck yeah) because I have zero assets, property, stocks, or whatever the fuck it is that normal people accumulate, and too poor/late to the game to make a difference now
I couldnt do it. My dad already told me I'm one of the few things he has left and even if my brothers call me an odd ball they are still here for me. I guess if they disappeared from my life i'd wanna disappear with them
> be me > 20-something wagecuck > had a GF but pissed it away > twas 3.5 years since > had to work late, coming home on train on friday night > raining outside > a thought appears > pathetic fallacy > "Anon, if you can't SERIOUSLY improve your life by new year's eve next year, you should seriously kill yourself
That was 3 years ago. If I didn't kill myself then, then I probably could never do it. Besides, my mom deserves better than to cry at my funeral.
I could never kill myself before my mom died, I love her too much. She's like 61 or something, but healthy as a fucking horse. Vegetarian and eats sweets like 3 times a year. She'll probably outlive me.
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