I'm a pathological liar and so much into that web of lies, that I would rather push people away than to lie to them. I also feel like I have no real personality anymore because of that and am just a cardboard cutout, so I can't even make "real" friends
>>25969554 Nah, I just can't, I have this fake persona build up and people seem to believe me, so I feel like I have to go on with the lies. And like I said, I don't feel like I have a personality anymore, don't know what I like etc., so lieing is the only thing I can do, to pretend I'm a person. And people don't want to be friends, because it seems that I already have my "own group of friends and keep moving on with life", but everything is just a lie. Sometimes when I try to fake evidence, it feels like I have friends, but everything is just in my head. I'm not strong enough to tell everyone including my family that the last few years were just a lie
I don't have many friends. Probably three or four that I can call TRULY friends. I have many acquaintances but nothing I would really expand on into a real friendship. I just feel like I can't truly be myself around them, so I don't bother.
Don't let the number of people you interact with frequently define your life. Pick up a hobby, set some goals, find peace in solace/introspection and you'll discover a lot of things about yourself.
>gf cheats on me >pretend to pose as my mother and text her saying that I committed suicide >"friends" try to fuck my ex, they tell her that I'm still alive. She tells them the manipulative shit I did and they all drop me (which is understandable) >next two years have like 2 friends from work >get falsely accused of sexual assault >few friends I had abandoned me >get acquitted and move to a new state for a fresh start in life >1.5 years later still haven't made any friends The rape charge gave me some serious trust issues that prevent me from getting close to people. I feel like damaged goods to be honest. I'm trying to fix my life by getting an education as well as getting in shape but the friends aspect has been tough for me. I can talk to people in class and make them laugh but it's been so long since I had friends that I don't understand on how to make the transition from acquaintance to friend. Not to mention I can barely tell anyone about my past because it's so fucked up. So here I am, 25 years old and not a single friend in the world. Haven't received a text in months, haven't been invited to a party in like 4 years, can't even remember the last time someone showed interest in me.
Everyone I've met has hated me either from the moment they meet me or through being my friend, they have learned to hate me.
I don't understand why. I suppose it's because I'm boring or I try to make friends with people who have very different tastes and opinions than I do. It's incredibly lonely to be like this though.
I wish I could say confidently that it's everyone else's fault I am friendless and so antisocial that I push anyone who might offer me a shot at friendship but I've been like this my entire life and I have no idea how to fix it.
I've spent all my life taking care of my family, i've never went out and met anyone because my whole world revolves around making sure my family is taken care of. I'd like to leave but they'd be a total mess without me i think
I think I have friends. I've had the conviction for a while that these two guys are my friends, but I'm not sure anymore. I like hanging out with them and they do a shit ton of things for me for no reason, but while they've helped me a lot and give me fun times every now and then, I hate them as persons. They're too good for me to stop hanging out with them, I'd be all alone, but I hope they fail at everything and as soon as I don't need them anymore I'm gonna ditch them.
I think I really hate everyone, since I've always wished the worst for everyone around me. The only people I liked were online friends I used to have, but who knows how they are IRL.
>have abusive stepfather >"nobody likes you, anon. no one will ever like someone as stupid and pathetic as you. the only reason people bother with you at all is to get things out of you or because they pity you" >don't fully believe it, but it sticks to the back of my mind cause I was a little kid >abuse makes me extremely withdrawn and scared of people, literal panic attacks tier. >still try to make friends >only manage to befriend a few >do anything to try to keep them/make them happy >they either leave by themselves/use me for favors or money >internet friends stop talking to me too >mfw he was right all along
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