>>25956703 im not too sure what you're hoping for, you're paranoid about whether hes going to stay with you or not, which is somewhat agonizing. you're hurting yourself at this point. If you wanted a decent relationship, you would communicate with him about your concerns.
>>25956703 I've only been manipulated a couple of times and it just fucking hurts, I never realize that it happened until months later. >>25956755 I try to follow the normie way, through school or jobs, hell I even met a few people at the gym but those relationships all blew up. I know it sounds unlikely but I am 95% sure it wasn't my fault I try to be a respectable as possible and lighten up over time like a regular normie, but it always goes sour. I honestly think I just have really shit luck with relationships with people
>>25956923 Well, you still have plenty of time to find someone then, don't worry about it. I didn't meet anyone special to me until i was 21. In any case, really think about what you want in someone. Do you have a general idea?
>>25956936 Do you know what went wrong in most cases? And are you sure you weren't in any way the reason for something going sour? Not blaming you for anything of course, but sometimes a lack of communication Or little things like that can cause unforeseen problems.
>>25956923 Don't fool yourself man I was in the similar boat as you when I was 18, if you're hanging around someone just to fill a void chances are they are shit. only shit people regularly hang around with damaged people, Because damaged people are easier to use and make themselves feel better. If I could go back in time I would tell my 18 year old self to drop their asses and move on. take this advice as you will, I can't control your life
>>25957005 communication was one of the biggest signs that I discovered in all of my relationships. I was the one doing most of the contacting, planning, and helping but I go nothing in return. before I dropped some toxic relationships did a test, I didn't make any attempt to contact anyone or go out of the house ( to avoid running into them) for a week and a half, I didn't receive a single message from anyone. I eventually started going back out but I still didn't make any attempts to contact them. some called me weeks later asking for money or a ride and the rest I still haven't heard from a year later.
>>25957112 Well those certainly weren't loving relationships that you should be in. Generally when someone genuinely loves you, they'll keep in touch as much as they can (at least in my experience). You'll know when someone really loves you and wants to be around you, and if you're a guy like i suspect, that will probably come to you when you're older. Don't sweat it amigo, you'll have your day, just take up opportunities to get to know people, but be firm about your stance on handing people money, or giving rides all the time. This'll help weed out users from real friends and potential partners
>>25956703 I know this feel too well. The one woman I felt like I could honestly have a thing with always took herself hostage in situations. She was passive, and often threatened me with hurting/killing herself or going into prostitution.
I spent two years on that ride. Unlike this ride, that one ended. Been too emotionally unavailable and paranoid since then.
>friends with a guy for a year >hookup >he doesn't want a relationship >try being friends again >hookup a month later >same deal >i was really clingy, sent some drunk texts/snapchats/voicemails I'm not proud of >nothing threatening just "I love you" when they weren't looking for a LTR >settle down, just try to make the friendship work >occasionally hang out after we both get off work >they're really sporadic, don't talk to me as much as I want. >it's getting emotionally exhausting bc they're just not a very attentive friend >stop iniating conversation >they'll message me, I'll message back in a day or so, then they'll just not respond at all for a week or so.
I don't understand. If he was creeped out by my forwardness, or doesn't want to be friends or whatever, why does he keep initiating conversation and then dropping it?
I just want this emotional rollercoaster to be over, but the ride never fucking ends.
>>25957382 Some guys here think that's what women want, but certainly not all. I, and many other anons would say that honesty and communication is probably a better way to go about it.
>>25957375 When you find someone for you, you'll just know. But if you're worried about trusting people, then take it slow and try to gauge how they feel about you, by looking at how much they talk to you and by what you two talk about. Women will drop hints here and there, and the ones to keep will message you or call you first. Just be patient, my man
>>25957443 It certainly isn't, but you'd still need someone who was a little clingy to drop things in their own lives to do some of that, particularly the last one. i'm sure you'll find someone though, just make sure your conversations with them is a give and take for both sides. And no, anyone willing to ignore you for two weeks doesn't want you
>>25957536 > And no, anyone willing to ignore you for two weeks doesn't want you
lol let me fall down and wait for death
I stopped texting (and doubletexting him) and waiting like, three or four days to respond, like he did. I've ignored his messages for up to a week.
Part of me thinks he's caught on and is trying to neg me, and another part of me thinks that he doesn't care enough to notice the change in my behaviour.
Fuck, I don't even want a romantic relationship. I just want my friend back. We were friends for a year before I fell in love with him; we would always get drinks after work and we're both enthusiastically make plans. I just want that back.
>>25957596 Having someone do that to me sounds tedious and stressful, I don't think i could wait more than a few hours without messaging someone back. But anyways, a year without anything is a long time, maybe he once felt something, but has decided to move on. One of you should have pulled the trigger sooner but i guess that's a lesson learned for the next chance. And there will no doubt be others, there always is for women, you just gotta look around
>>25957739 So? If that's who you are, then that's who you are. I admitted to being clingy to my fiance when i first met her and she loved it. Should have just told him you were clingy, if he didn't like it, then he wasn't for you to begin with
>>25957817 I think you're missing the point about why I'm upset.
Again, I don't really care about the romantic relationship at this point. Hell, I'm willing (but unhappy) to cope with the loss of someone who was like a best friend for a year.
What I don't get is that he gives me fuck off signals (not responding to me immediately) but when I detach myself from him (stop engaging him at work, stop texting him) after awhile he'll mesage me, I'll respond and then he'll shut down again.
If he wants to end it, if my clinginess was so horrible, why the fuck does he keep engaging me?
>>25957899 He seems to not know what he wants then. Sorry for not getting you earlier, it's getting late where i live and I'd normally be asleep but lol insomnia. I've seen guys like this and he probably is just flighty. Or maybe he's content with how things are now. This really seems like a lack of communication on both of your parts. Have you told him that you'd like to talk a little more? Even at the expense of seeming clingy, i'd just try to talk to him in person if you can. To see where you two stand and perhaps get some closure if it's that bad between you two
>>25957980 > He seems to not know what he wants then. Sorry for not getting you earlier, it's getting late where i live and I'd normally be asleep but lol insomnia.
>just flighty He said he was, "scared of commitment" - which just means, "I'm scared of only having access to one vagina".
> Have you told him that you'd like to talk a little more?
After we hooked up, I did say that. He called me clingy and laughed at me.
It's so stupid. I used to be so honest with him about everything because back then it was simple: I loved him and I thought if I expressed that it would work out. Now I'm so scared of being vulnerable/him feeling like he has power over my emotions that I just blatantly lie. I ignore him when I want to talk to him. I offer to wingman him at parties when I feel jealous rages coming on by him just looking at other girls. I act like I don't care/moved on when a single smile from him determines the course of my week.
>>25958107 I've been there with a girl i once knew. I'd just try and cut him out completely honestly, because my own experience has taught me that you'll never have it back, and you're much betted off starting fresh with new potential friends and partners. Don't let his general shittyness take you down a path i went down, it's not worth it. Seriously, everything you've described to me, i've already went through once
>>25958171 Oh god, exactly like how it was for me. I wasn't free from that roller coaster of feels until she finally moved away and I didn't have to see her everyday. But i felt like i got my life back after awhile. It's tough, but it's so worth it to just cut him out and start over. You won't mess the next one up, i'm telling you
>>25958230 Well, to me it sounds like it was like, mostly him, but a little bit on you, for letting yourself fall for him so badly. It's neither here nor there though, what's important now is just getting on outta there, famlee
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