Not really. I was normie-tier little shit up to like 14 and my dad died. I felt like "welp now is time to be a man". I cried for a few minutes when I saw him dead and for the next 4 or so years I didn't cry at all, or really feel that much. Sure I laughed and stuff, but I stopped feeling pretty much everything. Tried doing what other people did to "be happy" like date and stuff, but I just did it to blend in and had no real emotions. Starting about 3 years ago, I just said "fuck it I'll do what I fucking want to do, not what others think is normal".
Now I just pretend to have a normie life in front of coworkers and do what I want in total freedom when I'm alone. I live by the only truth I know, an honest rule to pretty much never do something that I don't feel like doing unless it serves a purpose i.e. a sacrifice for a greater benefit.
I sleep alone with a body pillow, and my life is free of stress. I haven't talked to a girl IRL in over three years apart from store clerks. I don't judge others, and don't judge myself by comparing myself to their lives; I don't give a fuck.
The only thing I can say that "bottling up" I guess has done to me that I personally find negative is that I cry when watching a sad movie or anime or something and it is very hard to resist. I mean I lost my shit for a good ten seconds when Ralph was destroying Vanellope's cart in Wreck It Ralph. As long as I don't see movies with other people (lol not a problem) it's not really even a negative I guess.
>>25953453 I wish. I've been bottling up all of my emotions and I haven't cried in over a decade. I feel like if I don't release it soon I might just fall over and die on the spot. I'm cold like my mother, fuck my life.
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