Does anyone else feel like they've never fit in anywhere? Everyone is always on their own shit and I catch a glimpse of it, but never enough to become one of them.
I had a small amount of friends growing up, but I never felt like I belonged. It always seemed like they liked each other more than they liked me, and that I was a tertiary friend or "that guy that's always hanging around". We've drifted apart since then, I'm sure they haven't drifted apart but they've drifted from me.
I'm not normal enough for the normies, I'm not autistic enough for the autists, I'm not weeb enough for the weeaboos, I'm bad at communicating but I really want to.
Even on /r9k/ I feel like I don't belong, but it's the closest approximation of "belonging" I have.
Are some people just destined to be alone? I haven't made a new friend in probably 10 years and I don't even know how to anymore.
I have thought the same too, but if I think about it in some depth, I feel that it's because I wallow in my depression and reject people that get close to me.
I honestly believe I will never find someone I can really connect with. I've got too many things that few people have. My personality type, personality disorder, and other mental illnesses make me a rare combination.
I'm not sure if its destiny, but I sure am going to be alone... one way or another.
I'm a pathological liar, so even when I get close to people I try to push them away afterwards, it just feels like I have no respect for anyone and I'm not strong enough to tell them the truth
Does it happen to you that you'd like to stop lying, but you are so deep in the web of lies that there's no way that you could stop doing it unless you completely changed your friends and tried to start over? Even then I think I would fuck it up again
>tfw want friendship and love more than anything but i'm not competent or interesting enough to make and keep them
Some people are unique and will never belong. The best thing you can do is to try to overcome your loneliness and contribute or fulfill yourself in other ways. It's vague shitty advice but you need to occupy yourself with something other than a longing for companionship or else you'll go crazy.
You guys get me. I'm good at lying, I've got everyone convinced I'm doing fine but I'm in a pretty bad place right now, have been for longer than I'm willing to admit to myself and I physically can't bring myself to talk to anyone about it.
So I just try and make it to the end of the next day and hope everything doesn't go even further to shit in the next 24 hours instead of doing something about it.
Yea.... I feel kinda like that.... Its Just that i dont fit anyway... I used to hang out and drink and party friends . But Just was not me.... I dont know why, tried to be alone and i feel lonely... Tried to stay in home but i get bored pretty soon...
Now im Just in home reading and drinking alone
Anon, that is exactly my problem, I'm always scared that people talk with each other about me, so I feel like I am forced to lie to each new person just to maintain the illusion and keep the lies from overlapping, everyone probably knows that I'm lieing, but I don't want to risk anything without someone actually telling me that. Everyone also seems to think that I'm doing okay, have my own friends, keep moving on my life etc., but I'm just lonely and don't know what to do with my time. I thought about moving, but I fear that I will lie again and the same situation happens. I would also be still connected to my parents, which means I will never leave that web entirely
I do the same thing, telling the truth makes me feel too vulnerable, but if I tell them a bunch of bullshit it keeps them at a distance
it's really weird that the average person finds it a relief to tell the truth and stressful to lie
> I'm always scared that people talk with each other about me
I'm the guy you replied to. Fuck man, this really got me. I did move to another city and went back to it, so that doesn't even feel like an option to me.
I'm going to sleep now, but I hope you and I will eventually be able to live life the way we truly are, without having to lie and feel bad about ourselves. Godspeed anon
Iktf, I am a diagnosed schizoid so I guess it makes sense why I don't fit in anywhere; I prefer to be alone so I never put enough energy into my relations with others, ie I sabotage my own efforts.
Don't sweat it. Just readjust your moral compass accordingly.
But seriously. I'm a strong socialite, in fact I only started browsing r9k recently cause I felt like some of you niggas need some cheering up.
It's not hard to make friends if you're active in your social dealings. I mean, just frequent places where people with similar hobbies to you also frequent. All it is is a matter of being social and talking about things that interest others.
Like I always start conversations with other people by asking hard philosophical questions or situation ones, I like to see how people do things and how they feel.
Although I'm not a perfect match for any one group of people, I tend to drift from friend circle to friend circle; you don't have to embed yourself with one group of people to be social.
Just empower yourself, and hey. If you're nihilistic and depressed; well then you ain't got shit to worry about.
It's a matter of overcoming the fear and accepting who you are when it comes to pathological lying. Once you stop feeling the need to lie, you'll cease; one could assume that you're not at all happy with who you are.
Honestly, one day all the lies will come back to haunt you and come crashing down on you. It's gonna be tragic af; if I were you, I'd do it on my own terms.
Life's hard, don't make it harder for yourself.
I find that philosophy and absurdism are great coping mechanisms.
who /aspd/ here? this thread explains exactly how I feel, I simply don't understand other people, I don't understand their jokes and I don't understand their sarcasm.
I went through my entire life not understanding other people and it makes people think I'm fucking retarded, probably. Even though I've flourished academically and in martial arts I feel completely empty and void.
It doesnt help that whenever I get confused I get frustrated easily and I've hurt people, myself and animals in frustration.
I'd just like it for someone to understand me
>All it is is a matter of being social and talking about things that interest others.
Oh, is that all it is? I wish I thought of that!
I understand your intentions are good but you're literally just telling people "be social and interesting" when a lot of people in threads like these can barely leave the house
You don't have to be social and interesting to be social and interesting (if that makes sense.) That's sort of my point.
I understand the anxiety and fear that comes with wanting to meet new people that you don't have any kind of in with.
Philosophy and studying it has really helped me with my Anxiety. It makes worry seem so pointless. (Which, IMO, it is.)
Iunnoh. Maybe I'm just a chad. I do like smiling. People on here should try that more.