is social anxiety simply just immaturity and self-absorption? if people realized others don't judge them that harshly, we wouldn't feel such a deep pressure to do and say everything perfectly or to be a special snowflake.
Nah that's the normie version similar to how OCD has been corrupted. Real social anxiety is panic attacks, nausea etc from social situations, like an overwhelming sense of dread from little things like the noises people make when eating, breathing noises. It's not really about feeling judged just an intense reaction to little social norms.
to be honest it comes from growing up with parents who you had a dysfunctional relationship with
you're meant to grow up feeling you can trust your parents, but too many people grow up with parents who scream at them or hit them or judge them over every little thing or think they're too incompetent and need everything done for them, so as an adult you feel deep down everyone else will be like that
Anxiety is first and foremost characterized by the panic attacks but many people with social anxiety rationalize it with not wanting to bother others. Even if you convince them other wise the panic attacks would still happen no matter how mentally prepared.
The desire to be perfect or a special snowflake is not anxiety.
I find myself being friends primarily with people who are not judgemental because of narcissistic parent shit and they're the people who seem to be honest with you. Well and then I make friends with their friends who are as much of losers as me so full circle.
>if people realized others don't judge them that harshly
From experience, you don't just randomly start thinking people are insulting you and trying to humiliate you for no reason. It happens a lot and it feels pretty horrible and that causes an onset of agoraphobia.
I think it can be easily misinterpreted as self-absorption, but where it strays is that it's an obsessive form of it, not induced, but a natural progression from someone's inferiority complex or passiveness. Self-absorption gives it a flavor of active-aggression that I don't feel properly describes it
i'm not sure if i have social anxiety, or if i have no social skills and as a rational response to that feel terrible in social situations (like being put behind the controls of a speeding train coming up to the end of the track with no idea what to do)