Post stories of your edgiest childhood moments.
>10th or 11th birthday at TGI Fridays
>mummy, a couple of mummy's friends, the one friend I had and his family
>waiters and waitresses come over with loud bells and whistles and whatnot
>bring over the cake and stuff, blah blah blah
>muttering "alright alright shut up now" under my breath
>waiter with a silly hat and microphone approaches me
>who is this fucking skrub i'll rek him
>"aaaand what's your name, little guy?"
>suddenly blurt out "Jeffrey Dahmer!"
>had only recently learned about him on TV
>waiter looks kinda shocked
>"...ahem, and how old are you today?"
>that shut him up, the gassy cunt
could use some work
>tfw clawed a girl's eye out
>tfw there was no fixing it
>for non-britbongers it's basically liberal/sjw propaganda, setting beta white males up for a life of cuckoldery and self-guilt
>today's lesson is teaching men not to rape
>teacher pulls up blown-up stats, says "1/3 women are raped, so that means a third of the girls in this class will experience rape"
>I jump up with my arms in the air and shout "YAAAAAYYY!!"
>expected everyone to laugh for some reason
>no-one is laughing
>teacher gives me the look of death
>tells me to get the fuck out now
>spend the day in detention
>every girl in that class hates me forever
Actually surprised I wasn't punished harder for that. Maybe it's the sort of thing that boys can be expelled for nowadays.
>could use some work
Hold there, wretched fiend
*teleports behind you*
Hold there, cunt
Are you seriously implying...
*shoots up school*
Are you seriously fucking implying...
*glares at you with eyes of death*
...that I'm not edgy?
*cowers from group of girls*
Not sure if edgy but
>english class assignment is to have a presentation about a song you like
Teacher was surprisingly cool about it.
Oh god my fucking ears
Why did our 14 year old selves make such shitty musical decisions?
>drag my only friend to the bathroom wall
>swing my right arm, then kick him in the nuts with my knee
>"never let your guard down"