How can you feel like browsing the internet or consuming media when you're "depressed"?
Guilt hits me as soon as I even think about doing it. I am feeling this way because I have wasted/am wasting my time/life. Now the least painful and guilt free way to pass time is by lying in bed all day long. Yes, I am aware of the hypocrisy of posting this, but ungratefully complaining on the internet doesn't seem to trigger my guilt.
That applies to those who don't care. However you can see people constantly complaining how they hate their life and all they do is watch shows and play videogames all day long which they also seem to hate. I was thinking about those people.
I feel worse when I'm trying to be productive, all I can think about is all the time I've wasted and how I'm thousands of hours of grinding away from being successful at anything. at least when I'm drowning in porn and junk food I can numb the fucks a bit.
Yeah OP. What you are acknowledging is that there is a dissonance between people's long term goals / expectations of life (i.e. success in fitness, appearance, education, wealth, etc.) and their actual day to day impulsive lifestyle of consumer pastimes which seem immediately enjoyable or non-betraying (ex. video games, porn, internet, television, etc.).
You've reached a point in your life where it seems like you feel depressed and none of your old hobbies such as browsing the internet and consuming media appeal to you anymore.
You're not young and innocent enough to tune out the world or your problems/shortcomings with these things, instead they do the exact opposite of providing relief. They make you feel guilty and you hate them.
As you forsake these things which used to entirely characterize you, it's become impossible to relate to all of your old friends or make new ones. Your identity is forcibly shifting but has nowhere to settle.
I bet you aimlessly think/panic about what is the absolute best way to start using your fleeting time and youth. What do you actually prioritize? Maybe you want to learn how to cook, dress, work out, play an instrument, or just socialize.. though you're not sure how to start.
But for young men like us there is no real guidance or support to becoming conventionally capable and functional in society, no matter how desperate we are for it.
A lot of us are going through this. All those years of being a nerd in middle and high school...because some logistical reason beyond your control prevented you from being normal. You didn't complain then, but now you are seeing its detrimental fruition and suffer from the quarter life crisis.
You've hit the singularity of maturity and self awareness.
You don't want to be sitting in the back seat of your own life. You want to take the wheel but and nobody has taught you how to drive.
The state of keeping the car parked and not going anywhere is what it means to be a neet robot.
>I bet you aimlessly think/panic about what is the absolute best way to start using your fleeting time and youth.
Damn, been a NEET for 7 years and the only thing I cultivated was more body/facial hair and stretch marks! I don't wanna go out like this...
Also pic related robot, you don't want to end up like this fellow neet.
>feeling guilty over doing something you find fun that isnt messing with anyone else
your mother nagged you a lot didn't she
>my mind is filled with stories that never happened
even this reaction image is a lie...
This is exactly how I feel there's so much that I want to accomplish but it all seems impossible and I end up browsing 4chan all day instead of working towards my goals. I don't know where to begin on becoming successful.