When did it all go so wrong? Or were you doomed from the start?
Everything started falling apart for me when i was 13 and discovered anime.
i went out with a girl right after i started high school, we dated for like a month before she cheated on me with a bunch of chads at a party. shattered my heart irreparably. been a robot since
I fucked my shit up in stages
>age 6-7 - unconsciously decide I didn't like leaving the house or meeting new people, I could have fun at home and I had enough friends to hang out with already
>age 10-11 - take mild teasing too seriously, get seriously ashamed when someone accuses me of liking a girl or having any sort of interest in girls in general, avoid talking to girls as a result
>age 13-14 - develop mild acne, completely ignore it and let it get worse while spending most of my spare time on my computer
all the stupid shit I did after that contributed to my current state of course, but I think they were mostly symptoms of my previous bad decisions
How long has it been since you last had friends anon?
I still have friends, but the same feeling hasn't been there for a couple years now.
Shit, that hurts. What's it from?
>back in HS
>return to group of friends after a trip to the fountain
>you see them talking
>they whisper to each other "Shit, Anon's back!"
>they change the subject
In middle school I was an awkward kid because all my hobbies were beta-tier like "exploring experimental music" and film or whatever
that caused me to be really alienated from the rest so i made up for it by playing online vidya and slowly replacing that with real friends. by the time i came to high school i was socially anxious and isolated.
not even kidding here. i started becoming much more self aware after i started browsing r9k. 2 years of r9k have given me depression, anxiety, all that shit. then i lost 50 pounds and gained it all back and got even more depressed
I found a girl that made me feel good for once. I felt like I belonged. She had nice siblings and I felt like I had a family. Her mom hated me and drove us apart. My life has been a downward spiral since that.
Stand by me, beautiful movie, very much recommend it.
When I was 14, 8th grade, and realized I was lacking developmentally. I was still holding on to the belief everything would just happen that all kids have.
Not sure how everything works out in the end for most others. I suppose my failures have to do with an avoidant personality.
I never felt a connection like it before. I often wonder if we are still together in another universe. I have always been an outsider and for once I felt on the inside. I have high function autism and she was blind and albino. I tried to tell the few people I talk to about it but my parents don't listen. I think about her all the time
>i thought i would become more like the bigger guys
>i thought high school would turn me into an adult
>i thought i would get a gf
My father got remarried. New wife pulled me out of a magnet school where I had friends and sent me to public school so I wouldn't be socially maladjusted. Since I was 2 years ahead of the class I ended up being "that guy" because I was bored. Now I'm socially maladjusted, a druggie, and hate myself.
I'm just making excuses. My biggest problems are ones I could solve if I had the motivation.
Her dad abused her a lot as a kid. Pretended to kidnap her once to scare her. I yelled at her mom when she was trying to drive us apart. Her mom started talking to her about how I was just like her dad. They emailed me saying if I ever make contact they would get a retaining order. I would loose my job if that happened
When I finished 5th grade my parents started homeschooling me due to disillusionment with the public schools system after a kid threatened to beat me up and didn't get punished. (That was literally all it was, he never beat me up) After that I went from a normal kid who played sports and had friends to a full blown transition-lenses-wearing "computer nerd". After 3-4 years of homeschooling the damage was irreversible.
I love you guys. The people here on 4chan. I have been here a long time lurking newer to posting now. Thank you everyone for being here
200?-2005 kindergarten was chill AF, had a lot of friends, and was in soccer
07-10Got out of soccer, started packing a Lotta weight, was once 100 then went to 130, then 180, people start out casting me cuz "weird", start picking on me, calling me ugly and other names.
10-2016 weigh around 240, I'm 5'8 (18 yrs old) still in HS, mom thinks I'm a failure NEET, sperg out when I try to socialize , insecure as fuck, at least no one really pickson me, now right? They just think I'm weird