This is gonna be a feels thread so watch out.
I'm considering suicide tonight more than I ever have in my entire life. The gist of my background is I've dealt with depression and social anxiety since I was 14, I'm now 27 and still have not had my first kiss nor have I had any serious relationships. I hate myself and I'm officially done trying to make relationships with people that always end up with me trying to solve their problems only to have them ignore me when I try to talk about what I'm dealing with. Being a nice person has done shit all my entire life. I'm so desperately lonely I feel like I'm in a hole that only gets deeper and narrower the longer I stay alive, and the more I feel like people are picking pieces off of me one by one. I don't have anything left to give, I hate people now, I don't want anything to do with them but at the same time that's all I want is a family. Do you think life is for everyone?
If you're going to kill yourself at least try something fun first. Quit your job, sell everything you have and buy a motorcycle. Cruise the world. Disappear into the mountain wilderness and live off the land. Go to the Amazon and explore for undiscovered ruins.
You can always kill yourself but I envy anybody who doesn't give a fuck anymore because I could never do any of the stuff above.
I know how you feel OP. "Friends"can often be very greedy, they only want you to listen to their problems but won't do the same in return. I never want to encourage anyone to off- themselves but I often do think life isn't for everyone, or happiness isn't at least.
In my experience sadness is a lot like freezing cold. It hurts for a while but eventually you go numb and don't feel the pain anymore. That's where I am now.
There are definitely better places than here that deal with depression and suicidal thoughts. One of the main things I learned is that suicide is often times (although not every time) a temporary feeling, and people that attempt suicide do it without giving enough time to let these feelings pass. If you've been having these thoughts for a long time, then you should find professional help and share your feelings to them. There is help out there from people who've had the same problems you have. So I hope you at least wait a day to see if these feelings can change or try to seek out help from others.
Being a nice person has done shit all my entire life.
your upbringing has failed you. your society. your schools, your family.
winners win. the strong take what the want from the weak. if you are weak, you deserve to eat shit. that's natural selection. that's nature.
for some of us it's too late. it's literally too late to turn things around. but if you even have some of your shit together. if you have your heath. if you have some motivation left. if you have some social support somewhere, it's possible for you to stop being a faggot loser weak bitch and become strong, become powerful.
in today's society that means having good people skills, looking good, talking good, being well rounded, having interests and hobbies in diverse fields. you can still be nice. but it means a lot more coming from someone who doesn't have to give a fuck about you than some pussy bitch with no power, no strengths, no personality.