>crush invites me over to watch anime and play vidya with her
>mfw she reblogged the following on tumblr this morning:
>"i hate how "netflix and chill" is a sexualized phrase now like no if i ask you to come watch netflix and chill ima be in my sweatpants eating ice cream out of the container with a big spoon im not gonna fuck you"
>im not gonna fuck you
>im not gonna fuck you
>im not gonna fuck you
>im not gonna fuck you
>im not gonna fuck you
>im not gonna fuck you
>invite girl from work over to hang out and watch tv and shoot the shit
>she thinks I'm trying to have sex with her
>I just live a horribly empty life and want a friend
I mean, it's good she's not a whore that is just willing to have sex with you because you are good friends.
But honestly once you have a crush that invites you over, that is farther than I am right now. You're good, don't worry about her sexual modesty being better than normal.
Son, you've gotta do this shit man, you've gotta get touchy whit her and get near her and try to kiss her man if that shit don't work then fuck it man you still tried aniways
There's nothing to lose at this point. Have a lot of fun. Make physical contact. Begging wine or weed. Escalate until she says stop.
There's no point in not making a move. It's either years as a beta orbiter or it happens for you.
Orchestrate a situation where she feels as if it "just happened". Nothing is less attractive than a guy who does not at least try for a kiss and then more. It's your role as a male
If she rejects repeated advances, don't get butthurt. Just say okay cool, then make am excuse to leave in the next ten minutes. Don't hang out with her out contact her after that. You might end up a booty call somewhere down the line since she knows your dtf
>Escalate until she says stop.
Question, how is she supposed to say "stop" without pissing OP off or ruining the friendship or making things awkward?
Honestly, I think her passive-agressive tumblr post and probably maintaining a policy of being deliberately obtuse about romantic intensions is her best bet in something like this.
I don't even know what I'd do in her situation.
I don't netflix and chill, I crunchyroll and tug
>I BTFO the last cuck who thought you can't have a romantic relationship without sex family
No, you can.
The thing about dating is that without the romance angle, it really is just dating. You hang out, you get to know each other, you spend time with each other, you grow closer, you share secrets and spill controversial views, you grow to love and trust.
Dating a girl without making it explicit you're in it for the romance and expect to make progress in that department (i.e: "get somewhere", whether that's marriage or whatever) is a dumb, dumb idea.
There is no good reason to be friends with a woman, unless you are out of her league and she has friends you can hook up with. The older you get the more obvious this becomes. You cannot have close opposite sex friends after marriage unless someone is getting fucked emotionally
This thread is more fun if you imagine it's Sakurako posting about Himawari
>some poor confused fembot
How gives a fuck? If she didn't want to ruin the friendship she should realize there are different interactions between girl+boy friends and girl+girl friends. Jesus.
#1 is not inviting you over.
Never read too much into the shit girls post on tumblr. Go hang out with her again, be a weeb with her whatever until she's comfortable with you. Have some fucking patience anon. Do not get mad, wait for your opportunity.
I wish I had a female friend to play video games and watch anime with.
Those weren't his words, those were mine. You're thinking the second comment was the same poster as the first, when the statements were different.
I was talking about a romantic relationship too, I don't think there is a dating relationship without romance, I agree with you there.
not true, i orbited a girl for years and she always got me to hang out with her
she had absolutely zero sexual interest in me, i was just the entertainment untill her boyfriend came over to fuck her
i cut contact with her ages ago and i feel a heavy weight has been lifted from my shoulders
>#1 is not inviting you over.
So a guy approaches you. He wants to study with you. You take it at face value, you've studied with a lot of people over the years and it's always been 100% focused on the work. Guys, girls, transsexuals, didn't matter.
Then he starts asking awkward, surprisingly personal questions (over text) for someone you've had only one full conversation with in your life, and who previously kind of just plain avoided you. He also is clearly escalating by touching your arm, shoulder, etc. during that first conversation.
When you have your first study session-- in a public place, mind you-- how do you establish boundaries that it's only a study session? You're willing to lose this study session option, but that's a lass resort, because enthusiastic study buddies are difficult to find.
I mean, wouldn't you be a bit bewildered by this exact scenario-- previous avoidance, sudden interest in reconnecting and studying for the same class, coming on rather strong without outright being honest about intentions.
Yeah that's a date
I did one study session with a girl. She didn't even come prepared because she knew it wasn't about studying. We barely studied. Talked. Asked her to a movie at the end of it. We were together for three years
You're gonna frustrate a lot of guys doing this
Very normie thinking but this is what you gotta do OP. Otherwise you waste time and then you will dedicate time and effort and energy rationalizing your beta passivity
>finding an attractive girl who has similar hobbies
>she wants you to hang out with her
QUit bitching, faggot. You've already made more progress than me and at least 70% of the betas on this board.
Hell yeah bro at least you got to chill with her right? Let me guess she initiated everything and literally asked you over and you didn't even fuck her. Instead you talked to her or some shit it was a fucking waste of time.
Alright, well, hypothetical person was already a dumbass and agreed session before it became clear there were ulterior motives. In the dumbass's defense, this has never happened before, and said dumbass is completely thrown for a loop on this sort of thing.
Dropping hypothetical. I'll just have to establish boundaries clearly when we have our study session. If he drops me after that, fine, whatever. If he's actually interested in studying anyway, great.
Honestly, I would have much rather he had asked me in person if I'd like to have a coffee-study-date than the way he actually went about it. If he hadn't taken a more professional route, I'd have been completely flattered.
In all my previous study groups, the guys really were interested in studying (and in other cases, it was a mixed gender group). They didn't care who they studied with as long as they knew their stuff and were willing to quiz and test and correct them (which I'm good at, I learn best by teaching.)
I'd have recognized it as a date much, much earlier if he hadn't sent me a very formal email asking if I'd study with him (and these emails aren't unusual for me, it's just that they've all previously been completely honest without hidden intentions.)
>In all my previous study groups, the guys really were interested in studying (and in other cases, it was a mixed gender group).
Or you were just autistic and oblivious and missed the cues.
> lack any kind of empathy
>Honestly, I would have much rather he had asked me in person if I'd like to have a coffee-study-date than the way he actually went about it. If he hadn't taken a more professional route, I'd have been completely flattered.
nigga do u even read
oh wait U have no empathy
Thank goodness I'm not alone. I use KODI for tv shows and have a really good net hookup so we could have watched a bunch of stuff no problem and I had shows she might like ready to go but she just thought I wanted some pussy.
>because you lack any kind of empathy at all
...because I took someone at face value, which I've done many times before without problem, and am now backpedaling because they were not only dishonest about intentions (which would actually have been forgiven, I understand nervousness and wanting to develop it "organically" through exposure) but just came on strong and pushy over text? Asking personal questions of someone you barely know and approached in an entirely formal and professional capacity?
I'm not lying when I say his email sounded like he was asking a professor to work in their lab, minus the resume.
>escalate until she says stop
>then she doesn't say stop
>regrets it and sets you up next time she invites you over to a room full of cops serving you an order of protection
Happened to me senpai. We really liked each other too, she even seemed to like me more and wanted to lose her virginity to me. She dropped the bomb on ME that she wanted to be my girlfriend and I got scared it was getting too serious too fast and I was in for a world of hurt. Still hesitantly said yes even though I really liked her and didn't want to get hurt from it but I never thought it would escalate to the point where she called in law enforcement, just a simple "I don't want to see you ever again" would've been enough pain.
>inb4 did you rape her
No, she would've taken me to court.
I've never been more scared of getting close to a woman, mostly avoided them for the past 4 years and don't see it getting any better for me around them. All I get is a flashback of very possible jail time.
>Or you were just autistic and oblivious and missed the cues.
No, they either had girlfriends, were flamboyantly gay, were interested in someone else, etc... I'm not oblivious to signs once they're there. I'm at a female-majority school, girls are not in shortage here and I am not a first pick for anything except homework help.
>lying on the internet
Why even bother to say this? No one's going to believe you were a perfect angel led astray but a weird and consistent alternate reality string of occurrences?
Own up to your part of it, you nutcase.
>Why even bother to say this?
Because it's true, and gives context for the circumstances?
Not sure why it isn't perfectly believable. He sent a professionally sounding email that only asked about studying, it was very polite and formal, I said yes of course. We arranged times and dates, exchanged numbers, etc. That was it. Then the questions and constant texting came pouring in.
>OMG ONE WHOLE GUY HIT ON ME IT'S TERRIBLE!
Why are you even complaining? Did you fucking believe it was NEVER going to happen or what? WTF are you even going on about with this whole, "Setting boundaries," bullshit if you, yourself, said it only FUCKING HAPPENED ONCE YOU GODDAMN WHORE?!
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST KILL YOURSELF.
Pay attention to if she objectively seems to be attracted to you. If she isn't, move on and find someone else.
It's always best if the guy is upfront with the girl if he specifically wants to date her and is not okay with just friendship. Never pretend that you're okay with being friends if you're not. It's just a waste of time for everyone. If she doesn't like you in the same way that you like her, don't hang around hoping that she'll eventually say yes - find someone else.
If you enjoy her company and are okay with being just friends, that's another story. But if not, forget about her and keep looking.
Calm down, Sparky. I didn't say it was terrible. I said I was bewildered by the situation and having difficulty navigating it. Which I am-- I've never been in this situation before. I asked a couple questions further up to help me figure out how to handle it. Not a terribly big deal in the grand scheme of things, but its pretty nerve wracking if it's the first time that's ever happened to you, and you don't want to offend or hurt anyone.
>I said I was bewildered by the situation and having difficulty navigating it.
And now we're right back to: (Also dropped for immaturity and lacking in basic social interaction skills. >>25906810)
First of all
>reading her tumblr
you dumb fuck.
Pretend as though you haven't read it. The next time, be sexually aggressive. Show her you wanna fug her. Either it works, and you can get your dick sucked, which is great, or it doesn't, and then you can just cut her off and move on with your life instead of getting emotionally hung up on her. Both of these options are vastly superior to staying her beta friend with your silly crush, you're just going to get crushed and used as an emotional tampon when she tells you about this really dumb, stupid, asshole she dragged home last nite that fucked her in the ass and didn't even clean it off before she gave him a bj, what a total dick that guy was! I sure hope she meets a great guy like you some day!
It's probably a shit test.
Question is... do you really want to have a girl around that puts you through shit tests?
Oooooooooorrrrrrr... you could just fuck off. Chances are you'll just argue with everything we tell you anyway.
>Chances are you'll just argue with everything we tell you anyway.
Only if you wrongly attribute characteristics of the circumstances that are incorrect, such as assuming I led him on, or that there wasn't anything in the email that a reasonable person would have interpreted as flirting.
But yes, I'd like some advice for how to handle this going forward.
Well, you led him on. You probably missed the flirting.
It was also probably not nerve wracking. Or a problem for you. In fact, you probably contrived this entire situation to fuck with robots.
Also this: >>25907290
If you really wanted advice for it you'd FUCKING POST THERE YOU GODDAMN WHORE.
>Well, you led him on. You probably missed the flirting.
>It was also probably not nerve wracking. Or a problem for you. In fact, you probably contrived this entire situation to fuck with robots.
Neither of which are true. Just because I'm not freaking out with multiple exclamation marks doesn't mean I'm not staying wide awake figuring out what the fuck I should do.
I'll go back to lurking. Have a nice night.