FEELS AND STORY THREAD

My lil pupper died this morning, he was 16 years old.

Also my only friend.

>about 2.5 in flaccid, 5.75 erect
>senior year of high school
>always been a forever alone loser, really want to change my life for the better
>finally man up
>ask kind of cute but dorky shy girl out to prom one day in science class
>she smiles and actually says yes
>feel absolutely amazing, like I'm really starting to turn my life around and become a man
>night of prom comes
>go with my best bro and his date, best fucking night of my life
>we return to his parents home, parents are out
>take girl to unoccupied room
>start making out
>she starts undressing
>pop a chubby
>she starts unzipping my pants and taking them off
>sees my dick
>starts LAUGHING
>stands and runs to door
>cracks it open and starts shouting "ANON HAS A SMALL DICK COME LOOK AT THIS" over and over while still laughing her ass off
>mfw

That was seriously traumatizing. Haven't gone on a single date since nearly 10 years later.

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> summer before i go to college
> somehow have a group of friends i see every day
> new girl enters group
> shes a 7 but an 11 to me
> fall in love second i see her: cute, mysterious, hurt, warm and cold at the same time, great laugh and smile)
> every night im excited to see her
> we talk, flirt, laugh, drink, every night with the group
> everyone says we are really cute and couple-like
> she hurt her leg and i take her to her hostpital app and hold her hand
> talk on the phone after nights out at 4am
> start telling everyone about her
> start fantasizing about us running away together
> somehow end up actually spending a bunch of nights together talking, kissing, cuddling..
> (didnt sleep with her because virgin with anxiety)
> nearer the end of summer i feel i should ask her out "just to make it official"
> out at some shitty normie club half drunk sitting with her
> i ask
> she looks horrified and confused
> "a-anon, we're just friends"
> i go outside sit in a corner and start crying
> she comes outside, we talk, hug for like 20mins
> say its ok
> its not ok

big part of me was just broken after that.. how can someone act so close to you, and then say its nothing? i guess the joke was on me..

>>25902162
i have several more parts to this if anyone cares btw..

couldn't let it go so there are several more painful episodes of embarrassment and regret

>>25902162
What was the resolution with her? Did you stop meeting her after?

>play vydia to escape parents fighting and running away from home on adulterous affairs every other year
>decide I want to make vydia for a living, take computer technician high school degree
>suck at programming, but "I'll get the hang of it someday and make vydia!"
>after a pretty rough first year where I passed through the skin of my teeth, get my shit together and graduate with flying colors
>now somewhat good at programming
>or so I thought
>fuck up Uni application and end up in the wrong course, in the wrong establishment
>try to get in in the second intake
>don't make it, join right place in "communications and multimedia" course
>lowest entrant had a worse grade than in my failing HS year, took my spot
>HS crush who gave me the cold shoulder was around when I went to reapply for Uni, wee
>bretti gud first year, everyone was surprised I did most of my courses
>my programming grades were kinda crap, but I lied to myself that I was just getting warmed up
>second year course involves Algorithms and Data Structures
>program validation through a programming contest submissions engine that only returns Wrong Answer when the program doesn't return the correct output
>Wrong Answer ad infinitum
>Teachers not answering me
>High School buddies not so buddy now
>nothing I do seems to work in any course, no one wants to do assignments with me, I don't know anyone that's willing to help
>discover Roleplay Intensive MUDs, live a second life
>Yuropoor living in US time
>graduate 0-1 courses per semester for a few years


(cont)

>>25902162
Go on. It feels so close to me...

>>25902522
>depressed, wanking too often, escaping reality and occasionally trying to "make vydia" and failing
>my degree gets canned, enroll in the original degree
>oh joy, maths shit
>get my shit together after 3 years of wanking around, start passing shit
>for some reason all the shit I'm no good at is in the second semester
>finally find buddies to work and play vydia with
>shit was going well, until dad has the biggest affair of his life, abandons home without telling mom a word
>cause was nosex, I suspect he coaxed mom into having two abortions years ago
>suddenly my life becomes trying to get pulled into dad's mix and "getting to know" the skank in the day and hearing mom crying and/or masturbating at night
>work life goes to shit, snap at alpha of the group one day over a poor joke
>suddenly I'm at a lack for buddies to work with on the shit I suck at
>oddly enough, they keep me around until I'm done with the shit they suck at
>first semester survived
>shit only gets worse during the second semester, dad tries to stealth sell the house on two occasions, fights with skank and tries to settle back at home, only to return to skank a week or two later
>no shit done during semester, former buddies think I'm trash, the few friends I managed to retain were losers as well, for different reasons
>butt my head around for some more years, squeaking by course graduations while knowing no one of note
>making vydia is a long forgotten dream at this point, but I keep around because I've been at it for years, so I might as well finish this and get a job inside a dimly lit server room in a basement being a bastard operator from hell

(cont)

>>25902596
>attract the attention of a group of bootlicking shitheads, we middle school bullying in university now
>try to ignore it at first
>overtime snap and begin bullying back
>It's Super Effective! being a dick is what I'm good at after all
>be too much of a dick towards the shittier teachers, overtime concerted failures and poor social skills gain me the hatred of the staff
>one course to graduate and fuck off last year
>fail because it's in the fucking submissions system that fucked me up in the first place
>fall into a depression mid-semester when the coin drops that failing a deadline means I won't secure the minimum project grade
>this is my last year
>if I don't pass Compilers, I'm done with this for good
>start playing around in Unity, hoping to get good enough to earn some quid off shitty Kongregate games or something

And so have been my last 11 years.

>>25902263
Go ahead, anon. Let's hear it.

>>25901777
16 is good for a dog, that shows that you took care of him

The great thing about pets is that you can always start again with another one, and experience the beauty of the circle of life

>>25901777
Eat his heart to merge his soul with yours

>>25902530
>>25902530
[the aftermath part 1 of ?]
> for the rest of the summer we're still out with the same group
> i blank her entirely the whole time. can't face the feels desu
> we go off to college our separate ways
> i'm just torn apart. furious. upset. but i bottle it all up
> i decide to take lots of pics at college of me with friends/girls
> upload to facebook pretending to not give a fuck about her (who was i kidding?)
> i even have photos of her on my room wall (cringe..)
> she tries talking to me on facebook several times
> i blank her, pretend im too busy
> next summer, back home, old friends come over including her
> in the night, she comes into my room at 3am or so
> wants to talk about what happened before
> too hurt. don't want to show it. tell her to leave
> she comes back an hour later
> starts crying saying she was so alone at college and i had blanked her totally
> she says she did like me or something? (cant remember)
> i tell her i really liked her but play it cool. she goes
for some reason i kept hanging out with her at this point, to see if things could change. i was still obsessed..

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>>25902895
[the aftermath part 2 of ?]

fragment 1:
> we're all drinking at a friends
> still deluded into thinking i can change her mind (really she acted so close that first summer)
> go to kitchen with her and talk
> go in for a kiss
> she lunges back and dodges it
> i'm just stood there like a retard dumbfounded in the bright white light
> she says "im seeing someone"
> "o-oh yeh so am i"
thats all i remember of that night desu

>>25902475
to summarize whats happened after that. shes in a solid relationship with a pretty cool guy, he is a way better dude than me cause hes not a robot and probably nicer too. that said, i dont sense the chemistry we had and iv heard they always have some distance/problems. could be my bias for her though.. they come out with the group and i always pokerface that im ok, but obviously i mostly feel the same feels as before just jealousy. i heard from her friend at some point "yknow she did really like you. she just thought you were too clingy and full on" ...

its about 5 years later. she comes out with the friendship group sometimes, though i barely see them anymore. everytime i see her i am reminded of my painful feels.. we still hit it off really well, but i don't allow myself to let things get too close again. dont want that hurt.. desu she is still around (her bf is long distance) and seems pretty lonely.

iv considered repairing that friendship because i still basically love her. though iv accepted that it will never happen. is this a bad idea? we used to just "click" and i think understand each other more than iv felt with almost any other girl.. i dunno if i can trust that feel, but feels are feels yknow.. (desu i still feel no closure at all and wish we could talk about it, but id only come across as a thirsty faggot all these years later)

>>25902162
>> somehow end up actually spending a bunch of nights together talking, kissing, cuddling..
>> "a-anon, we're just friends"

I really can't comprehend this shit

>>25903121
I'd go with the direct approach and tell her you're not interested in friendship, you want romance, so she either accepts that or stops wasting your time and draining your mental resistance.

>>25903192

Me neither man, bitches just cant make up their minds it seems.

>>25903224
no..
shes in a serious relationship.
she already rejected me years ago, when she did, i told her "i dont want to be friends, its a relationship or nothing" (i was scared of the friendzone meme), but we still end up hanging out even now because of a shared friendship group

> a while ago at a friends birthday
> first time iv seen her in quite a while
> others go ahead to a club and we walk there together through the rain
> i say something about feeling anxious at clubs
> "anon you're so interesting, you're the person in the group id like to get to know better"

wtf is this shit. i guess she has no idea the kind of mental backflips and feels my mind will do with statements like this. i just brushed it off and acted cool, but of course those kind of things stick in my mind like splinters of "what if"..

>>25903397
Unless she's married, it's not a "serious relationship". Go ahead and do the amerifat cucking ceremony, that's part of your culture anyway.

>>25901785
Had a girl laugh at the size of my dick in school when I was 13, so I dragged her behind the sports hall and raped her. Not so funny now, eh Laura?

>tfw used to have a 4.0 in college
>tfw my mind is being turned into mush by the alcohol
>tfw can barely think logically any more. Anything more complex than if/then statements confuse me.
>tfw trying to find an easy way to an hero

>>25902596
>Bastard operator from hell

Ayy I have that in my closet somewhere...

>>25902162
>how can someone act so close to you, and then say its nothing?
Because women are fucking cold.

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Here's a feel for you guys.

>tfwnogf
>tfwnevergf
>tfwneverwillgf

it hurts as much now as it did the day it first arose in my heart.
this is the eternal feel

>talk to girl running on the street
>ask her age
>"I'm gonna be 23"
>get her number
>whatsapp her up
>ask her if she's finished studying
>"how old do you think I am?"
>'23 right?'
>turns out she's almost 33 and I misheard cause she looked young
>lose my shit for a few seconds
>regain my cool
>'well I must've misheard. That doesn't change anything anyways'
>she stopped replying
Damn I thought I was going well. She was probably just being nice, serves me right for getting my hopes up anyways. She's so hot too I felt so close to normie land.

>>25904952
>talk to girl running on the street
you are already a normie

>>25901777
get it cloned

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>finally get first gf
>perfect girl, we share the same interests, a solid 8/10

>she cucks me with some Chad she met on tinder

>>25905017
>7/10+
>not sluts

>>25905081
I'm just thinking how the fuck I thought a beta robot like me could get a hot gf and expect her to be faithful.

>>25905117
sorry man, just keep trying
skanks will be skanks

I have a feel to share.

My gf broke up with me yesterday.

Over text.

Today she completely avoided me. However, in the texts she said that maybe we could pick up again in the future.

I really wish she hadn't given me that hope because now it will be even harder to move, she will probably become a bad oneitits.

>I wish I never even started talking to girls

>>25904978
I thought it was original, I mean who the fuck does that?
It worked, too. My self esteem skyrocketed for a couple of days, but I'm already coming back to reality. I'll try with this chick again anyways, I mean which 32 years old girl doesn't dream about dating a 19 years old robot.

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>>25901665
>killed a fuckhuge cockroach like a year ago, but it's internal juices glued one of it's legs to the wall
>didn't remove it, for some reason
>just left it there
>each time I woke up, it'd be pretty much among the first thing I see
>same for each time I fell asleep
>when I felt ike shit, instead of staring blankly at the wall, I'd stare at the lone cockroach leg that got stuck on the wall
>mfw after all this time, it's gone now
>mfw gonna miss it
Obscure feels.

>>25905213
Wow you just topped every feel in this thread.

>>25903523
This is seriously fucked up. There's no way she deserved that because nobody deserves that. That's disgusting.

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>>25903569
>tfw my mind is being turned into mush by the alcohol

>>25901785
The average American male penis is 5.6". So forget about her, she's a total dumbass.

>>25905213
10/10 obscurist feel

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>tfw lost my virginity last November to my neighbor's wife while he was at work
>she is 36 and I'm 26
>she's a solid 9/10 white girl with a terrific ass and pretty face
>noe we occasionally have sex ever since I lost it to her
>I'm now in love with her
>cant do anything about it because she's married

No worse feels than falling for someone that is already taken

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I'm sitting here doing nothing. I can't think of anything to do. I have a good amount of games, books, movies and the internet at my fingers and not a single thing seems even remotely interesting.

I feel really hollow on the inside and alone and afraid. It feels like there's a weight in my chest and I don't know how to get rid of it. I just don't want to exist anymore and suicide is starting to sound better and better the more I think about it.

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>I had an imaginary friend named Red when I was 5
>We would play in my room whenever mom and dad fought... so we played a lot.
>Mom would drink a lot, and she didn't take care of me or my brother.
>Dad tried to take care of us but he was always at work.
>One day mom packed her bag while dad was at work.
>She walked to the front door and said to "Anon, I'm leaving, tell your dad when he gets home"
>I knew I couldn't stop her, but to slow her down I said "Wait! You need to say goodbye to Red first.
>She looked at me like I was autistic and said, "Grow the fuck up!" then left.

>That was the last thing my mother ever said to me.
>That was the last day I ever saw Red.

>>25901777
Sleep tight, puppers

;-;

>>25905538
Good pasta.

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>>25901665
My story isn't really anything special

>shy virgin autist in his first year of uni
>always went to boys school, so really scared around the opposite sex
>somehow i make friends with a girl on my course
>over the year we become really close, best friends
>move into a house together in our second year
>i like her but i'm a fucking dolt and don't really explain myself properly
>she breaks up with her bf
>too beta to do anything
>a couple months later, she gets a new bf
>get really jealous
>start getting distant with each other, despite living in the same house
>start arguing with each other towards the end of our final year
>things end on a really bad note, we leave to go to separate cities after uni ends
>she texts me a few times, but i end up blocking her number and deleting facebook so she can't find me
>haven't spoken to her in nearly 3 years

The way I handled that whole situation makes me think I might legitimately be autistic. Everything's clear to me in hindsight, but I just had no idea how to behave when those situations came up.

>>25901665
>Learned what "Live with purpose" meant today

Far too late

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>>25906043
dude...
What does it mean?

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>tfw your gf keeps texting you
>annoying af
>tfw i dont reply and she assumes blame and trys to make up
>tfw she is becoming more and more submissive
>tfw im pushing the dominance
>tell her what to wear, cook for me, control her during sex
>tfw cum on her, inside whenever i want
>tfw everytime she does something i tell her to do the guilt builds up
>tfw i know im taking a good girl, taking advantage, making her a submissive whore
>tfw she's letting me do this
>tfw she let me she loves me while i do these things to her
>tfw the whole time i can't help but feeling empty, angry and disgusted by this. Knowing that a worse man would take advantage of her even more and do even worse things, and she'd love it and love him more for it. A better man would do good things for her, but she would still want a bad man.
>tfw im going to cheat on her and she'll love me for it

>>25906459
You are giving me the wrong kinds of feels

>>25901785
Man, that's fucking brutal

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>birthday today
>everyone too busy for it

I guess I'll celebrate playing vidya like every other day.

Sucks.

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>>25906817
birthdays are depressing. i'll likely be spending mine the same way

>>25906817
Mine is in one week anon. I'm going to dinner and a movie by myself.

Happy birthday to you for what it's worth from a stranger on 4chin. I'll be there soon.

>>25906817
happy birthday anon!

seemly original comment

>>25906817
What hurts the most is when you realize that nobody but your mom knows about your birthday. But you're normie enough to go to birthday parties and shit, but you realize not a single person will even wish you happy birthday on yours.

>Going to a crazy party for friend's birthday
>They rent a cabin in the woods
>Get fucked up, do all kind of manners of drugs, then all shower her with gifts
>Realize that you'll never be this happy on your birthday

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>>25906817
Happy Birthday Anon, my Birthday is today as well.

Don't worry Anon, it sucks being alone but we'll get through it.

>>25902162
well you didn't slip her the dick.

>>25905287
Please go away you fucking redditor.

>>25905795
Honestly it might be too late by i'd try reaching out to her. I mean what do you have to lose at this point?

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Some of these stories are powerful. I feel so bad for some of you robots, I really do. I know you don't want my pity nor give a fuck what I have to say. Before you ostracize me, I will tell you that I am a robot myself...I just feel so bad. I guess I am emotional because I am close to suicide. I won't do it, but the thought lingers. I wish I could tell you to stay strong and that it will get better. I wish I could tell you that everything is okay. But it's not okay. Perhaps we can hope for the world to collapse before our own spirits collapse. I know I am not alone in this. I pray that you guys will feel at least a twinge of relief. I'm so sorry.

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>>25905389
I know that feel too my friend.We have achieve true robot status, a point where we no longer feel anything.

I feel hallow as well. I don't feel anything, i just feels like a mindless corpse shuffling to get through the day. I wake up every morning, go to work all day and go home. After that it's just rinse and repeat. At this point I don't even know what to do with my life, I have a decent amount of money saved up but really I wouldn't know what to do if I quit my job.

Nothing is interesting to me at this point. I'm just living my life on repeat, just waiting until my final moment approaches.

>>25901777
>tfw my cat died three days ago
I was really sad at first but I'm already over it
I'm a pretty shitty person
He was 19, lived a long life at least

>>25908415
Well, the thing about that is she's a successful schoolteacher and I'm a friendless virgin NEET loser.

It's best if we stay apart, there's too much water under that bridge.

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>>25905287
I'm not saying you're wrong but who fucking cares nigger

>>25901777
I know this feel. It's not a good feel

>love girl more than anything
>get balls to ask her out
>she says yes,what the fuck?
>date for over a year,love this fucking girl
>go full robot and fuck things up
>both still love each other,but never get back together.what the fuck?
>leave after highschool to go in military
>she marries wanna be Chad
> we start talking a few years later,still great together,but she's married
>out of the blue she sends me a letter basically telling me she's through with me forever
>tfw I drink alone

>high school prom coming up
>want to ask girl im good friends with and have hung out with a couple times
>get flowers beforehand to give her when I ask her
>she gets the hint beforehand and tells my best friend if im going to ask her
>she tells him she doesn't want to go and is seeing a guy already
>im crushed
>give flowers to my mom and don't go to prom
das it mane

>>25909079
Pretty sure prom was designed to send robots into spiraling depression
I'm sorry anon

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>>25909079
>going to Prom
You're maybe a cyborg, but not a robot.

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>>25909391
did you even read the post

Does anybody else have legitimately nobody that likes them?

>tfw realizing people have just put up with me all my life
>tfw girls initially go out with me because I'm tall and okay face, but always grow to hate me the more they talk to me
>tfw I'm losing out on my youth because nobody wants to spend it with me and people would just rather leave me alone
>tfw everyone always tries to make fun of you
>tfw nobody respects you or cares for you
>tfw they all laugh and jeer while I rot in loneliness and pain

I don't think life is worth living if I'll just always be this lonely. Maybe antidepressants will make it better, maybe I can even become a little likable if they work on me

>wake up
>do nothing all day
>go to sleep

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>>25905362
>No worse feels than falling for someone that is already taken

this hits so close to home

>>25911656
Worse then that, is falling for someone who lives far away from you.

>see a 8/10 grill at a party who looks lonely
>decide to go talk to her, we connect over our love for radiohead
>an hour later we are making out
>we connect very well on all kinds of things
>end of the party everyone goes home
>i feel like i love this girl because she is the only girl i've ever connected with so well
>decide to ask her out on a date
>she agrees
>fuckyes.jpg
>go get coffee together
>she acts like a different person than at the party
>she shows me no affection
>the date ends very awkwardly
>still decide to text her the same night
>she really seems to like me and ask for us to go on another date
>wtfishappening.jpg
>so exited to see her again hoping she acts like she did the night we met
>we text everyday for hours
>she suddenly starts ignoring me
>two days ago she sends me a text calling it off for no reason
>few hours go by
>try to text her
>she ignores me
>i still think i love this girl
>cant get over her
>been drinking for 18 hours since she ignored me
>haven't talked to her since

this may seem like a small problem compared to some people on here but still wanted to share this

>>25905287
>There's no way she deserved that

and there is no way anon deserved that either, so who gives a fuck about roastie.

>>25905017
>perfect girl
>8/10

>tfw you're losing it.
>why's it getting to me now?
>I'm not even that old.
>I want to die.
>people younger than me are much more talented than me.
>I'm wasting my life.
>faking it and making it still hurts.
>rarely get depressed anymore.
>shit posting at 6 am and my eyes hurt.
>I want to cry.
>I want to die.
Night r9k.

>>25914132
>tfw gave up on the faking it to make it stuff

The good news is it removes a shitload of stress from you're life.

The bad news is it makes you feel even more powerless and suicidal.

>>25914200
It's all I have, just got to keep smiling and rolling with the punches.

>>25902162
You're a normie, and this story is normie as fuck (group of friends, going out everynight, clubs, etc). Now get out.

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> tfw no personality

Honestly this is worse than being dumb or ugly. Wish I weren't so bland.

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>>25914257
>tfw real personality is an opinionated right-wing asshole, so I have to restrain myself irl 24/7 to not get fired or in constant fights with coworkers and customers, resulting in effectively no personality at all

>>25911879
Shut up. You're making me feel.

>>25914257
Personnality doesn't matter if you are attractive.

I know Chad that are fucking weeb and furfag and open about it like autists (in a "cool manner" btw).

Guess what ? They still score pussies.

>>25914257
Bland by normie standards or in general? What are your interests and hobbies?

>skipped so many classes that embarassed to show up again
>incompetent in literally every single life competition
>desire to kill myself intensifies
>hate myself everyday
>don't want to break my parents heart


I'm tired

>grandma finds dying cat outside
>asks me to kill it
>being an autistic sperg, dont know what to do
>decide to drown it
>the thing was missing a leg and had a hole in its stomach full of maggots
>suffering a lot
>try drowning it in the bath
>goes from inert cat to panicking half dead zombie
>flails around in the bath and gurgles a lot
>panic and crush its neck

I like kitties a lot, they can sense my regret

>>25901785
In all seriousness that story doesn't even make sense senpai

>>25905583
>good pasta
Is this bait? Fuck off reddit

>>25914685
lil wiener buddy detected

>>25914706
Oh so it was a troll I see.

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> sat next to her for the last two years of high school
> couldn't stop thinking about her
> finished high school
> she moved away
> i stayed
> i can't forget her and i've never loved anyone this much

>>25915055
love doesnt exist

best to get that into your head while youre young

> dick 6"x4"
Will i make it, bros?

>Be interested in girl
>She is probably feigning interest in me
>ask her out
>She says yes surprisingly
>Date goes well
>Message back
>She wants to go out again
>Go out again
>Date goes well again
>Book a hotel because I'm on holidays with family
>She likes the idea of it
>Day before we meet up
>"I actually don't think it's a good idea to see each other this coming day... Sorry if I hurt you"
>Tell her
>"It's okay, you can't actually hurt me because I'm already dead inside"

>>25914394
She likes me too.
Why I have fallen for someone so far away? It's really sad to know you might never see the person who loves you the way you are.

>>25902625
Holy fuck dude, I would have just given up to be honest. If this is your last year just push through (I guess).

>>25912856
Was she drinking when you first met her?

>>25915431
just a little i dont think that could be the reason she was so open when we met

>>25915458
That's the reason dude..

>>25915212
>"You can't actually hurt me because I'm already dead inside
That screams that your hurt

>>25915212
That is legitimately the most autistic thing I have ever read on this board or 4chan in general.

>>25914437
>weeks and fur fags
That's personality, and it's more than I have.

>>25916097

Sounds like you haven't been around long enough.

>>25916097
It's gay but you're exaggerating

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>>25914541
This is me.
I burnt myself out trying to get to uni.
Now I'm here and I'm tired.

>>25915055
Lol it wasn't love.
That seems like lust and infatuation.
Did you ever speak to her?
Was she aware of your existence?

>>25901785
Lol. I hope you autists don't believe this

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>>25915094
Nope.
Needs to be at least 7 inches with 5.5" girth.
Soz, Bubba.

>>25910947
Your not alone

>>25905538
sick pasta, been years

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Only posting this cause I've had a very similar story happen to me a few years back

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>>25916767
This really got me. I don't even care if it's real or not.