My first gf broke up with me last night. And she said something that's gonna fuck with me for days.
"I'd rather be [ex]'s fuck buddy than your girlfriend."
Which is probably what she's gonna do. She's telling me she still loves me, but that makes it hard to believe. It just fucked with me man, I feel like there's not a decent woman on this earth. You think they're loyal and then they drop something like that on you. And she saying all this time it didn't bother her I was a virgin. Bullshit. I wanna get drunk or get mad at somebody or do something stupid. I don't know what to do but I fear the next person who bothers me is gonna make me explode.
>>25893834 of course, it may be she's just that terrible a person, but probably she was just saying the nastiest thing she could think of so she could make it out like there was a person she hated more than herself
failing that, you're no longer in a position to have sex with her, so fuck it. She's dead to you either way
I've been feeling "different" for two weeks now. It started off with just panic attacks and altered consciousness (I have "vibrations" in my head and can't think straight). And now I have short term memory problems, light sensitivity, muscle twitching, neck pain and weakness in the arm and legs. I spend a full week 100% I had a brain tumor until the results of the MRI came 100% clear . The fear was gone for a while until I accidentaly learned about ALS and even thought I have no symptoms I can't help but obsess over it. I'm waiting for the eye doctor right now because I need his autorization to get into a boxing class, I just want to get my mind off all this and realize the weakness I'm feeling is all in my head.
I lost any interest in women, even in most beautiful and hot ones, also lost my ability to be flustered, I jerk off one time per week or two, haven't watched porn for months, thought about deleting my pictures collection, in past I was switching to more lighter porn, people tend to go for more extreme ones eventually, I've gone opposite. They're all extremely boring for me, I can't be comfortable around them and I don't know how my acquiantances want to paw girls over, flirt with them, and so. How do I return my interest? I thought I might be gay, but I don't have boners on guys, I'm not interested as well.
>>25893723 Just give me Jagermeister shots and absinthe, i want to get drunk and contemplate about meaningless of life. I'm so tired of being so realistic, whenever i see artistic people i judge them for living with head in clouds but secretly i envy them. I just want to see stuff and have a good trip into another dimension. This reality is so crushing, i literally cannot imagine anything and even my dreams tend to be static and realistic.
God I'm glad to see the FnF open again. Send five fingers of straight run my way.
So I'm so autistic and dysfunctional that even my 2d family fell apart.
I couldn't accept the idea of abandoning 3d entirely and devoting myself to a 2d woman. I felt that would be totally abandoning all hope of a normal life and good mental health. I thought I loved my Waifu, but evidently not enough to stop caring what people think.
What broke us was that I still try to sleep with 3dpd girls, despite my kids less virginity remaining woefully intact and the likelihood of that changing being low.
I couldn't stop; I felt I was a failure for not having lost my v-card and my own insecurity caused a rift in my relationship with my Waifu.
On the advice of Misaki, I let her go. I decided if I was too much of a coward to devote myself to my Waifu, I wouldn't be too much of a coward to force her to be my crutch. She took our daughteru and she left in tears.
It was the hardest thing I've done in a while. I went to delete my Waifu folder to let her go entirely but I couldn't do it.
I need to get hammered and make myself suffer a bit. Just leave the bottle.
Uni started again which blows because I have 8am classes 4 days a week. The only thing I'm looking forward to this semester is some guys I know starting a DnD group so at least I'll have something to do besides jack off and play vidya. I might buy some DXM Friday from the store on campus because they just sell robotussin that's straight DXM, at least I'll be able to forget my feels for a bit.
>>25894108 They probably went well. The problem was of course they hired a marginally better candidate. That kind of fucks you up, if you were a 8,7/10 and the one they hired was a 9,1/10 and you don't actually know how close you were getting the jobs.
>>25894456 Never done shrooms before. I'm not super experienced with doing DXM since I've done it once at a low dose (~165mg) and it felt pretty great. It mostly made me just not care about anything and made listening to music really fun since it felt like I was hearing everything for the first time. Even at the dose I took it made walking kind of hard and there's some closed eye hallucinations. It's really comfy to just lay in bed while on it and listen to music.
Ginger ale please >had to take entire week so far off school (I'm 18, leaving cert, (senior to you muricans)) due to sickness. >sister is being hostile towards me 95% of the time, only treats me like a human being when she wants something, normally help with homework. If I refuse, she goes to my mother who then chews me out for being selfish. If I help her, I get "Thanks anon xdd now fuck off, seriously" >Still don't know what to do in college.
>>25894373 Exactly. They never call me back or get back to me.
I try to bring more interpersonal skills to the interview, I try to form some form of connection or just make them feel like they want to have me around as well. I don't go in with a foot up my ass and in a sense be a dick to the interviewer.
>>25894844 Kenobi and Anakin went to the centre of the Zone. What they found there, no one knows, but Kenobi went missing while Anakin came back distraught. The latest news on Anakin is that he went to the mobile lab by Lake Yantar. Coordinates of the scientists camp are attached.
Guys I have a question about hair, had a nasty shed all of a sudden in August and thinned quite a bit but no it's slowly getting better(I think) and I feel this short, prickly hair when I run my hair through my scalp. Is this regrowth, will the thinned areas fill back? What is this, I have no idea.
>be me >fall in love with a girl >talk about her in my friends house >she adds me the other day on normiebook >i say i dont really get active on this shit site so give me ur number >she gives it and we start to talk on whatsapp >my friends texts me that she is in love with a really old friend i dont know what to do robots.please help me i want this girl so bad.
>>25897561 Not sure how much use this will be to you but i'll tell you anyways. > Don't pursue one girl at a time. > Start talking to a few others and get some on the side to help distract you from this girl. > Make it clear to the girl you're in love with that you wanna bang her. > Since she's in love with the other dude she'll most likely reject you. > Take on the chin act like it's no big deal and cut down the amount of attention you give her and keep banging other girls. > Let the situation between her and the other guy play out. > If you still want her by then start giving her a bit more attention then go in for the kill. Disclaimer: Don't tell her you have feelings for her try to make it seem like you just wanna bang her. That's the I'd play it. Good luck!
I need some help; feel free to berate me as much as you want as long as you're actually giving advice while you do it.
> senior in hs > inb4 underageb& im eighteen > few months ago did a bunch of shrooms > scrolling through FB for fap material > at this point I believed I had come into contact with fifth-dimensional beings (long story) > see girl from one of my classes > faptime.jpeg > nope > fifth-dimensional beings explain that she's actually deeply sad and my mission is to make her happy > compelled to obey > no idea how exactly I'm going to go about making this girl happy
Should I explain what happened or what? I've only spoken to her a handful of times since and it was just small talk.
I feel I have not done what the beings wanted me to do.
>>25894341 >I might buy some DXM Friday from the store on campus because they just sell robotussin that's straight DXM, at least I'll be able to forget my feels for a bit. order 3-meo-pcp it's under $1 a dose and not illegal yet
>got friendly a group of people whom I really click with couple of months ago >first time in this shitty town I live in I found a group of people who are not brainless "woohoo party hard xDDD" twenty year olds or high brow ivy league wannabe fucktards >all of them are either doing exchange studies now or moving to a different town (or both) >have to be around shitty people again because I got 2 more years left on my program
>>25893723 it's the time of year I'm nose deep in tests for uni emotions start acting up can't stop feeling, days of pure rage probably won't go to any of the remaining tests and just stay home and punch random stuff. haven't got this worse before, better start doing s.th.
Heya Barkeep Just some Coca~Cola right now, a little too early to be drinking.
Things are okay, I'm not gonna be able to crash the course I wanted to get into so I'll just apply for a bunch of jobs. Gonna make a list and start applying from there after I brush up my resume even though this'll be my first job.
>>25899028 What are your goals, relax man. Try to take it easy, it's just school and if it's CC no one gives a shit desu. Never made any friends in CC and never made any enemies either, everyone's just there to do what they're trying to do.
>>25899051 H-heh I don't need that kind of attitude right now. But as long as you're trying to improve yourself, are you really as useless and undesirable as you really think you are?
>only 19 and already feel like I've fucked up my entire life >have little hope for the future, on both the micro and macro scales >things that I used to find fun are getting boring as fuck and unfulfilling >spend a lot of my time mindlessly browsing 4chan and watching YT videos
I'm fucking up in college. I was really down about it on monday and went out drinking. Woke up on tuesday in a cell and went back to sleep. Woke up this morning, chatted to a solicitor. Don't remember anything else till court. The judge told me he would defer my case for good behaviour on the condition I suck "immediate medical help".
My memory is going all over the place and I keep seeing and hearing things. It's over bros. I've finally snapped.
>>25899943 It's anhedonia, which is probably a symptom of depression. I would reccomend seeking help if I were you. If he offer you antidepressants, request that he gives you one other than fluoxetine. Say you want to start on a low dose of a weaker antidepressant. If he asks why just say you knew someone who took fluoxetine and had bad sides. I forget what the merriclap name for fluoxetine is though, prozac maybe?
I'm brit m8. Though my mum used to take prozac so I'm not sure what it's called here.
I don't want to get into antidepressants right now. I can still function, I'm doing decently in uni (despite hating it and doing a dead-end degree) and I still laugh and shit. It's kind of like having an elephant in the room, and even if you're happy for a bit it's still there at the end of the day.
>>25900083 i'm going to a clinic on friday to get checked for depression. i signed up for a paid depression study but they said i have to get diagnosed first and take an AD for 8 weeks first.
are any of the anti-depressants they prescribe actually good? i've been self-medicating with tianeptine, uridine, caffeine, and memantine but none of them helped. the only thing that happened was the memantine made me enjoy tobacco less
>>25900167 I gets worse man. The biggest issue is depressed people never seek help. They either ignore it or just get meds. Consider meds a temporary measure, and then work on finding the root cause of your depression (9 times out of 10 it's reactionary rather than endogenous, meaning it's caused by something bad in your life) and see if you can find a way to fix it. If you're still struggling and feel there's nothing you can do to fix your situation, seek therapy. Gl anon. >>25900182 Sertraline worked great for me. Also made me rather aggressive though. I'd reccomend avoiding fluoxetine because it seems to be really common for it to have really bad sides, and can even occasionally make depression worse.
>>25900351 >nofriends >nogf These are legitimate social issues and it's understandable that they could get to you. Humans are social animals. Seriously mate, get down to the doctor. The NHS is wasting enough time on OAPs and Farah's acid burns after her husband's latest honour killing attempt. I think at the very least they can take some time to look into you.
Also, you're 19. Don't tell your parents if you don't want to. Get a bus into the clinic or something.
>>25900522 This was me like 9 months ago before I got even worse, dropped out of school and could barely muster the willpower to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. Christ's sake brother, just get to the fucking doctor already.
>>25900263 >Sertraline worked great for me. Also made me rather aggressive though. I'd reccomend avoiding fluoxetine because it seems to be really common for it to have really bad sides, and can even occasionally make depression worse. eh, i've just only heard bad things about SSRIs. is that all they prescribe? i think i'm just low dopamine. maybe i'll ask about getting some tests
I don't know where I'm going in life. I'm 20 yo and recently got kicked out of the military due to severe depression, suicidal thoughts, and being put in a psych ward twice. I'm currently working with my friend in Omaha, NE at a computer repair shop. Money is decent and the housing is the best I've had in years (though it's not much of comparison when you've been living under government housing).
IDK, man. I just feel burnt out already. There's no more passion in my life. I used to rock climb, hike, sky dive, read, write, draw, play guitar, and cook, but now I just don't give a fuck any more. Maybe it's the depression, or maybe it's because like half of those things were more so for the future complements I thought I would receive. While my depression isn't nearly as bad as it was in the military, I still wish that I was dead. I can have an amazing day full of joy and laughter yet before I go to sleep, I hope I don't wake up. There's no suffering or pain, just a want to finally die.
Part of me says wait it out and see if it gets better. While another part knows what I'm like. How unmotivated, self-destructive, and selfish I am. I've even gotten to the point where if my waifu popped up right in front of me, I'd refuse simply because I don't want her and I know how much of a broken, terrible human being I am.
I turn 21 in 9 days. I keep imagining that I'm eventually going to drink a bunch of alcohol and down a bunch of sleeping pills to see what happens. Getting a gun would be my primary option, but my records of mental health might say otherwise.
Regardless, bartender, I'm just tired of it all....
>>25900801 You'd be much better asking a doctor these questions. As for dopamine, any sever deficiency in the ability to produce or receive through the synaptic clefts that sort of hormone would result in parkinson's like symptoms.
I just got started on fixing my shit I have been a depressed fat neet faggot fo a year and it got to the point where i wouldnt even go out of bed and planned to kill myself.
Last week i started to fix my sleep schedule by going up 1 hour earlier everyday and recently i started to workout.
Now to current events. I have broken shit worth over 1k in a couple of days. My computer broke becasue of some electrical issues. I tried to get my ssd into my dads old laptop and it broke after 2 min from starting. Then I trid to put back the ssd into my broken comp and somehow ruined the ssd. Also my phones touchscreen started to spass out and i accidentaly broke it when i was mad.
So now i use an old 200 dollar comp adn have no phone and no cash. I feel like god is testing me by destroying everything I have when I finally decide to get my life together.
>Low dopamine: Tends to result in symptoms similar to Parkinson's disease. People with abnormally low levels of dopamine may have difficulties with thinking, memory, and have slow reaction times. They may also experience anhedonia or lack of ability to feel pleasure. They may also feel similar to individuals with negative symptoms of schizophrenia in regards to having no motivation (avolition).
>Low serotonin: Results in OCD-like symptoms including obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. It also may result in impulsivity, feeling suicidal, aggressive behavior, etc. Lower levels of serotonin are linked to mood swings, sugar cravings, worrying, insomnia, and sadness.
the 1st one describes me much better than the second
Rum and cola. I'm feeling pretty good, I've only had one meal these past two days but I spoke to my master's program coordinators about getting reinstated. Looks pretty likely but I have holds on my account. Thankfully, I have a job lined up and another optomistic interview. I just have so much trouble finding references. I graduated two years ago so I've used only family members.
Pint of bitter please. Dunno why but my loneliness has really started to bite back just as I thought I was getting better. Trying to improve my fitness and my image to get my confidence up but so far there's no light I can see at the end of the tunnel.
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