Ok so i have recently realized that i am all alone and have nobody to talk to (except my gf).
All friends that i had have gone their own way while i was literally stuck in horribly decaying house filled with rat shit, fungi on the walls and other fun things.
Now, i am not complaining because i was the one who "pulled out" and isolated himself more and more. Met my gf when i was 17(she was 22) and moved in with her after couple of months. Still living with her btw.
One of my new years resolutions was to reconnect with at least 2 old friends, but the problem is i cant even think of anyone i would genuinely like to spend time with.
Whenever i meet one of the "old people" they seem genuinely interested in how my life is going, where i live what am i doing etc, but for some reason i just dont give a fuck about them and get seriously protective/paranoid about my life. It all feels so goddamn fake, as if they just tried to probe me for info so they could talk about that shit with other people who know/knew me.
They all seem so different yet completely same. As if the kids (as i have known them) just got jobs/money and stayed exactly the same mentally. Sorry guys but talking about "dreamcars" and shit was fun for the first 16 years of my life, it just doesnt do anything for me. Same goes with sex, it was fun talking about it and making fun of it, but since i had sex daily ever since i was 17 its not really anything "nasty" or new to me either (22 now).
I dont even remember what it is like to talk about random shit with someone. Ever since i turned 15 and got stuck in that fucking house, life became very solitary for me. I did not attend any school or anything (tried but could not cause "family" issues), so most of my days were spent in complete isolation and silence (no adults around either). I am starting to think that it affected me in a very deep way.
Then when i moved in with my gf i did the same with the exception of her staying at home between work.
>(except my gf
the fuck would I give a shit about your problems then
Dont be salty anons, its not fun like you are probably imagining it.
Over the years she just feels like combination of a sibling, room-mate, not very good friend, a mother and a daughter.
There is basically nothing sexual or fun (in the way being around women is fun) about her or us anymore.
look man, we're just giving you a hard time. sounds like you are taking everything in life for granted. you're right, you have gone over the deep end but the only person who can change that is you. you need to get out and do things for other people. play with some animals do some sort of charity for the world, anything to make people smile. you're not going to be happy if you do things for yourself. you can't always force yourself to reflect on yourself and change
>have nobody to talk to (except my gf)
get the fuck out
>except my gf
Fuck you. I'm all alone in this world. No friends or nothing. 4chan is my only interaction outside of work. I'm tripping balls right now, and I have no one to talk to. And I don't want to either. Being alone is the only possible life for me. Fucking normie scum.
Yeah but how? I have literally spent majority of my life being indoors (mostly in front of some piece of screen).
>The "normal" people
are horribly boring to me as i guess i am to them. Their lives seem all completely the same, get a job, be a slave day in and day out, go to a pub, get into passive/aggressive social domination bullshit drama, spend the rest of the evening anxious and or in denial and then repeat. Have sex with someone you have nothing in common with and then whine about it. Aaand, repeat.
And to be honest, its not even fun drinking with them and/or doing drugs. Simply because they are waaay too self-centered and cant handle their booze/drugs. They also dont have time to truly party for few days in a row, so...thats too timid for me, when i go out to get drunk i like to drink at least until the next day and go places and do stuff, not just sit in a pub.
>The people who understand (at least slightly)
where i am coming from and what made me the way i am are social outcasts, living on the verge of society as migrant workers, immigrants, homeless or junkies.
I have to admit, i feel way more comfortable with people like that, but still not comfortable enough to completely relax and just be myself and enjoy the company. Because frankly, people like this are usually dangerous in one way or the other.
>Then, the third group of "anons"
AKA boring losers whom i met over the internet and who can relate to most of my daily problems, but they are too timid or "weak" for me. Yes, i am the same fuckup as you, but once in a while i do something adventurous or fun which is where the link between me and this group of people ends. They also seem to get almost mad at me for stepping out "our internet bubble" and doing other stuff too.
>When i am alone, i feel nothing
>When she comes home i feel anxiety, stress, bit of hatred and/or jealousy.
Thats how i would summarize my relationship.
Nah man, thats not my reality if it was i would have no problem finding something fun to do (with dat dolla dolla).
Basically a girl found me (i had shitty self-esteem to do anything), had me move in and then we kinda stayed together.
Not sure where did you get the idea that i work or have ever worked.
Thats the thing though, i am not a normie. Thats like basically my whole point. I have nothing to tell normies and they have nothing interesting to tell me. I am the same loser as you fuckers, just luckier. I spent my entire life sitting in a darkened room and staring off into screen.
There is nothing "normal" about the way i live or lived.
Would it make you rage if i told you she was not the only one, not at all? That she was just the one who tried to hookup with me the most? I had about 14 girls trying something, but i always either thought its impossible (no self-esteem), its just them making fun of me (used to be bullied, not physically tho) or i simply lacked the "balls" to reciprocate.
You motherfucker think its easy seeing you complain about lack of female attention and remembering all those fucking times i COULD have had girls/women but was too scared or whatever to do anything?
Its like living in a prison i build myself for whatever fucking reason
I just wanna say minus the gf, you've described me also OP. It is a good feel to know I'm not alone in this experience. My life has been drugs, drinking, and a dark room lit up by a screen. This moment included. Nothing to say to normies. Nothing in common with anyone but druggies and outcasts and other losers, but an outcast even amongst them. I'm brutally alone now. In the end, you'll be alone in a dark room again. That's how the cycle goes.
>except my gf
>(except my gf).
>I have recently realized that I'm poor as fuck and I ain't got no money (except for the 500 million dollars in my bank account).
I'm not sure if you're serious but I'm going to capitalize on the fact that you already like me and ask you to marry me. I'll watch you play Megadimension Neptunia VII.
It is settled then, sweetie. But you'll have to punch the avatarfagging out of me and I'll feed you healthy home cooked meals.
>tfw your fiance is immediately stolen from you
I'm sorry anon, I didn't mean to cheat on you, I thought it was just you and me in this thread.
There are no grills on the internet, anon. Only different flavors of boys. There has to be one that you like.