>>25884352 I want to go (almost) full Gravity Falls and have a shack in the middle of the forest (that I built myself) filled with all sorts of retarded memorabilia.
I want to have a sailboat, sail into the Pacific and just drink until the morning sun rises.
I want to be able to go into a bar and make friends, not sit there quietly.
I want people whom I've done work for to look at my work and approve, call me again if they need anything, recommend me to people. Not for professional reasons (although obviously that too) but so that I can take pride in myself and know that I'm an outstanding craftsman.
I want to have a bar, not a professional bar, but a well-stocked bar in my crazy-man Oregon shack. Whether I have friends or no, I want to be able to sit at my own bar and drink until I can laugh at myself without getting sad or mad.
>tfw drunk is almost the only time I'm ever not mad at someone for something, major or slight >tfw I never asked for this
I like living and I'm afraid of dying. I wanna try to do the things I like the most and avoid dying so life has some sort of meaning. And I think I wanna fuck with bitches and have relationships and cheat on girls with sluts just to hurt them. Yeah that keeps me going.
>>25884352 Fear of death Dreams (I get sick on purpose and deprive myself of sleep in order to have really vivid dreams, feels good man) Drugs The mostly buried hope that things will get better and I'll get to cuddle with someone one day (they won't, and I won't)
Lexapro to bee quite honest fampai. Ever since I started this drug, I just feel like shit is going to be okay, even though logically I know it's not. I just lost a loving relationship a few days ago, and I tried my hardest to be sad and cry, but I literally couldn't. I lost that ability and it feels wonderful to not have my emotions rule me anymore.
>>25885379 I like that outlook, though giving hope to a man like that is a dangerous thing.
I just built a new PC and have been playing all the games I've missed out on this current gen, FOR FREE. Well not really free since this computer cost a shit load but I don't regret it. getting my money's worth you can bet on that.. God I love pirating. Plus street fighter 5 comes out soon.
God I have fallout 4 (which kinda sucks but who cares I didn't buy it) to play, witcher 3, gonna download shovel knight. Fuckin resident evil. I'm gonna pirate so much shit
I have this incredible urge to create something, anything, but for the most part that creative energy concentrates itself in creating stories and art. I enjoy writing and I enjoy drawing. I wish to one day be good at both of them to work in animation even though I'm going to college for computer engineering.
alcohol, weed, music, a record label. mostly those
>>25884719 >I want to have a sailboat, sail into the Pacific and just drink until the morning sun rises. > I want people whom I've done work for to look at my work and approve, call me again if they need anything, recommend me to people. Not for professional reasons (although obviously that too) but so that I can take pride in myself and know that I'm an outstanding craftsman. >I want to have a bar, not a professional bar, but a well-stocked bar in my crazy-man Oregon shack. Whether I have friends or no, I want to be able to sit at my own bar and drink until I can laugh at myself without getting sad or mad.
I don't believe there's any kind of afterlife, so even if life isn't always sunshine and roses (as a matter of fact it rarely is) I want to live for as long as possible because it's all I'm going to get. I also have family members who genuinely love me, which is nice. I try not to take that for granted.
There's some classic vidya I haven't played. I like dank food I'm gonna want to eat more of that. Maybe I might bet laid again that'd be cool. Maybe a few more concerts. I dunno I'm probly gonna checkout in 5 years or so still
Online friends, really. I was friendless in real life for over a decade, still am. I had people I talked with online occasionally but they came and went so I never formed any attachments, they were more like distractions which I used to ignore my mom's drug use problem and lack of friends. However one day one of those people managed to convince me to play a game with a group. I've played with that group ever since, gotten over my fear of voice chat, sent Christmas presents to each other and generally bonded pretty well. They're the best friends I've ever had and I don't know what I'll do when they eventually move on with their lives and leave me behind.
Frankly my parents. They are both good people dealt a shit hand and tried their damn hardest for me. I'm a broken sack of shit that shouldn't exist but I need to at least out live them and show I'm good.
I'm still a social awkward loser but therapy it's really helping me to enjoy the little things in life, to focus on my creative hobbies and make something worthy out of them, but for most part, it's helping to enjoy time alone and to realise that in the end no qt will ever make me happy, only I can.
The idea of having sex (seriously how can I kill myself before I experience one of the highest pleasures possible for humans)
good books >tfw reading Nietzsche is giving me confidence in my solitude >tfw reading Kafka reaffirms my view of society and the people in it >tfw reading Camus and Sartre reaffirm my view on meaninglessness and gives me confidence to cope with it
I want to build a school where I could teach people Stoicism and improve people's lives I want a manse built on a cliff overlooking the ocean where I can be left alone I want to master a stringed instrument.
>>25884352 Half a year of high school left My mom and dad Persona 5 and kingdom hearts 3 God will finally unfuck my shit life University will be better and FUCKING MANNING GETTING MY BRONCOS TO THE SUPER BOWL AND WINNING
>>25887373 You realize it has nothing to do with what you read on the internet, the fact is that is never going to happen. People in real life can tell you that. Life partners worked when people didn't really have the right to leave, whether due to gender or religion. It just does not work now.
>>25884352 >I'm going to be old enough to buy booze in a month. >They might make another good elder scrolls game some day. >Cape shit and cape shit movies. >Good food. >Pictures of beautiful women i collect of the internet. >Emperor Trump might unfuck this gay earth.
The weird thing is my infatuation with her is dying out. She's everything, everything I could ask for in a girl and it's dying out already. She seems to be pretty keen about me, messages me at least once per day, maintains to conversation. She's also a sperg, which I am too so holy shit what a coincidence. And she's a virgin, which I shouldn't know, but I'm stalker as fuck and figured it out. Oh, and of course she lives 2 states away from me. She doesn't know what I look like, so I'm worried once I send her a picture she'll stop caring. She's alright with meeting up soon. But that spark is dying for me. Please don't, I rely on her way too much emotionally. /wall of text
The fear of death. I'm so scared of even trying to kill myself. But I fucked up so badly and now I'm gonna have to spend the rest of my life as a NEET in my parents house, or as a wageslave with a shitty job.
>memes >new vidya >new anime >friends still around for now, although they're all disappearing one by one >addicted to masturbation >fully VR waifu could possibly be mine in the near future >want a dakimakura and onahole/fleshlight >the possibility that 20 years old isn't the point of no return and I could still experience sex >want to travel >alcohol >scared of failing suicide >forget about nihilism sometimes and give in to the meaningless chemical reactions inside my brain that make me experience "pleasure" Pic related: just kidding, it's not related. This post just felt empty without a cute anime gif.
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