>getting a gf wont make you happy/fix your depression.
is this true? because it's the only hope i had for not feeling like shit. i never had a gf so the hope that one day i would get one and finally experience joy was the only thing keeping me going. if that's just foolish then i really see no reason why i shouldn't just end it now
A partner is not a fix to your problems. Being happy and generally having your shit together attracts a mate. IF you're not happy with yourself she'll just be another problem for you or she'll leave your depressed ass. Fix yourself first.
it's a lie normals tell us because they don't operate like we do.
I thought I was getting close to making a girl mine, improved mood and started some self-improvement, it all went away when she told me she was married.
If you long for something e.g. a ferrari, a girl a well paying job you will never be happy once you achieve it
Only you are responsible for your happiness. Why are mtf trans suicide rate higher post op? Because theyre no happier and its not fixed anything in their life.
Point is, if youre depressed there is no magic fix other than beginning to love yourself
i have no idea what that means though. i am physically healthy: i lift and eat well, haven't been sick in 4 years. i have a car, a pc, a tv, clothes. i can cook, i have a job that gives me more money than i know what to do with (i have very frugal tastes). the only thing i feel like i am missing is a gf and a passion. and i never had either of those and i think the latter is even more unattainable than the former which is a result of me being a shut-in
I got a gf after 22 years of being khv, this is what happened
>when nothing to do had someone to call/text with, like all the other normies on their phone during downtime
>happier/more confident/harder working/more intelligent = girls attracted to you, boss happier with you, co workers impressed by you
>girls attracted to you while you are taken = snowballing effect into Chad
>more talkative = more friends
>not awkward during sex stories with friends because you can laugh and contribute to it as well
People saying getting a gf doesn't solve your problems are absolutely full of stinking shit.
It's not that they won't make you happier than you are now, it's because your depression and self loathing arent caused by your lack of a gf, believe it or not. Getting one will only make you realize this.
Placing the source of your happiness on something outside of yourself and your own accomplishments is setting yourself up for failure, because when you lose it you're going to end up back at square 1 or worse. And believe me, it's not a matter of "if" you lose it, but "when". Believing that a gf will alleviate your depression is just as foolhardy as believing more money, a new car, or moving to a new city will. Sure it might lessen some of the symptoms temporarily, but you'll soon realize that the ennui you're experiencing isn't due to lacking these things, but due to lack of something inside yourself.
Ask yourself, why do you want a gf? And don't answer "because it will make me happier". Why would getting a gf make you happy? And why is this form of happiness only achievable through getting a gf and not other means?
How the FUCK are you supposed to love yourself if nothing but bad shit happens to you,anon?
A girl didn't fix your problem, she only validated your worth as a human and made you think "hey maybe im not that bad of a person"
She made you begin to love yourself which helped. If she fucks chad does it matter really? You know your ability now and wouldnt have a problem getting another woman because you realise people talk to you because THEY LIKE YOU AS YOU.
what does this even mean? i do love myself, i just hate my society, I don't feel like i belong. but that's unchangeable, at least i can't change it by myself and the great mass of normies will never change willingly
> Ask yourself, why do you want a gf? And don't answer "because it will make me happier". Why would getting a gf make you happy? And why is this form of happiness only achievable through getting a gf and not other means?
i am not happy
i don't know what could possibly make me happy, from experience
i never experienced a gf before
anecdotal reports from other people suggest having a gf is rewarding
sex is apparently enjoyable, moreso than fapping
that's basically it. it's just hope. i don't KNOW that a gf will make me happy because i never had one. it's as if i never ate pizza before, i wouldn't know for sure it would taste good. i can only notice that other people eat it and are happy, and in fact often choose to eat it over other foods when they can. but maybe i don't like pizza. maybe i don't like any food at all, but right now i'm starving
You wouldn't chase for approval of people if you loved yourself. Being cocky and being confident are two different things. Why dont people who live in mudhuts get depressed surely their lives are worse than yours?
Because they don't care about their situation they just strive to continue life. They dont have to compare themselves to others
Take control of your life before circumstance forces you down a road you dont want. Who cares if you fuck up or embarrass yourself? If people still talk to you then they like you. Go on a roadtrip or something force yourself outside your comfort zone to realise nothing bad is gonna happen
here come the droves of normalfags, who are likely in relationships right now, to tell us how it won't fix our problems.
they don't even have the self-awareness to realize we aren't like them, we can't love ourselves and have to outsource it, there is no way for us to make it on our own.
>Why dont people who live in mudhuts get depressed surely their lives are worse than yours?
You fell for the racist noble savage meme.
Poor people in third world conditions often do get depressed, especially if they're suffering from other health issues and are so poor they can't eat.
Other poor people in third world conditions are happy because they're only cash-poor, but have their needs met and are hale and in good health with happy families.
There's also the fact that many third world countries have HUGE stigmas against depression, which causes a lot of people to cover up their depression and not talk about it to avoid stigma.
>Because they don't care about their situation they just strive to continue life. They dont have to compare themselves to others
Are you shitting me? Have you ever met an Indian or African or Chinese person in your life?
>add another person's problems to your own
>somehow not making things worse
i am not chasing for approval, i want companionship. i want to have someome to sleep next to and take care of and be intimate with. i don't want to jerk my dick in solitude forever just hoping that all the normie talk about "SEX IS SO GREAT I LOVE IT" is an exaggeration.
> Because they don't care about their situation they just strive to continue life. They dont have to compare themselves to others
there is no happiness in my life though. and yes, i only know that because other people are actually happy, legitimately. sure i can just accept that i am miserable and just live with that because it's my life and i shouldnt want to be happy just because some people are. but that's fucking stupid.
> Take control of your life before circumstance forces you down a road you dont want. Who cares if you fuck up or embarrass yourself? If people still talk to you then they like you. Go on a roadtrip or something force yourself outside your comfort zone to realise nothing bad is gonna happen
this doesnt mean anything to me. you're saying "just do what you need to do to fix it" but the ONLY THING i can think of that would make me less miserable is a gf, based on my observations of people with gf's. a road trip would not make me happy, i don't see anything appealing about it tbqh
gotta love how gender-neutral those statments always are. "Being happy and generally having your shit together attracts a mate." I've seen depressed, insane, highly unstable girls get bfs in an instant. the problem of "attracting a mate" only applies to men.
but a girl did fix my fucking problems, if I never lost my virginity to her I'd still be a lonely depressed person.
I don't understand your normie logic. You're telling me that what happened was that I was just beeeeeeeeeeeing myself.
No, this is not me. This is a person that got laid.
Note the difference.
>the problem of "attracting a mate" only applies to men.
and that doesn't even apply to a decent chunk on the high end of the attractiveness scale, they don't have it as easy as women but they can still manage to find someone while being an emotional wreck.
Having a gf can be nice for awhile but over the years you will definitely find out that it is in no way a cure for things like depression, especially if you actually have shit like clinical depression and not just sad because >tfw no gf
I got a NEET gf, helped her out, things were good and I thought I had it made. Years down the road I found out she was lying and backstabbing me as she made normie friends, went to a party, got drunk and fucked some chad who already had a gf (aka her friend) like any other worthless whore would. Even a seemingly pure girl can easily flip to typical whorish women behavior, and you can never guarantee yourself safe from such things if they see somebody better come along.
If having a gf was really the only key to your happiness, what would you do if the person you loved the most became what you hated the most instead? You need to find happiness on your own, otherwise you will be absolutely broken when you learn the true nature of women the hard way.
let's not forget these people often have religion because they dont know any better. if i legitimately believed in some supernatural diety and a pleasant afterlife i would probably be happier. but sadly i can't convince myself of such a lie
No it'll just add to your problems, they always do. the negatives they provide always outweigh the positives, always, they don't care how you feel at the end of the day, you're only there for them when it's convenient. Just get a son out of them, make him your best friend, you'll be happy then.
I hear this story time and time again, a guy gets some nerdy NEET shut-in girlfriend and she turns into a slut with the help of her boyfriend's attempts to socialize her. why do guys keep fawning over these sleeper-sluts again?
Nah mate I just stopped caring about chasing for girls years ago after a bad breakup
Ive never been happier. Life without sexual desire makes you godlike - Nofap is the gateway because you stop relying on fapping to medicate your desire for happiness
I'm nearly 29 and retired full time neet now, focused on my work and nothing else - 7 year grind but now Ive got the rest of my life to enjoy it.
I was hoping to get a gf and settle down but now im here I really dont care about getting a roastie
Victim of circumstance :-)
but what is there even to do in your free time? i am at a loss of how to spend the 2nd half of my day after work & gym. i just lay in my bed 10hrs before i have to get up for work so i can have extra sleeping time
Did you get laid or did some other guy get laid?
No it was you, YOU GOT LAID not your gf but YOU
Its all about YOU once you realise youre unstoppable. Dont ever become dependant on someone because people come and go
It baffles me how retards like you come here to spout lies just "for teh lulz"
I know this is 4chan and that you shouldn't believe anything in here, but fuck you.
>tfw mainly want a gf for the reason that I can make a thread here about it and post pictures of various objects stuffed into her cunt
I can already imagine a cup with a straw stuffed in there.
If you're not happy with yourself and your life and just gonna cling to her for happiness she will leave you immediately. This kind of dependency is total turn off for women.
There's the rare chance that you find someone who's into that but judging where we are I doubt anyone would be into you so though luck.
Speaking from experience I can tell you its absolutely true, in fact, being depressed at all will make any relationship you have much worse in all likelihood, but don't take my word for it, here are some very realistic, down to earth examples of things that can happen to you.
>Your self esteem is so low that if she goes out to do what is honestly a regular activity like something for school or work, or just see one of her girlfriends you will be insecure and untrustworthy. Confronting her about this is bad, and not confronting her about this is bad, you can only win by breaking up with her if she's unfaithful, and not being an annoying paranoid faggot if she is faithful, leading to my next point.
>You won't break up with her, or at least it will be much harder to. You know you're not a good catch, she can replace you in a weekend, but to you, she's all you got. You will both know this and it will effect you both subconsciously in some way. More coming in next post.
Ill just tell you my day:
Wake up about 10-11
Take meds, shower, coffee
Go out somewhere for breakfast. I force this to give me a reason to get dressed
Read a newspaper and browse 4chan, slashdot etc until im bored
Go back home
Check my open positions on fx
Tasks done for today - 3-4pm
Then usually music production or photography. Ive DJ'd at a few small venues in London so im trying to level up that
Otherwise I bike about, few weeks im going to spain to bike with a group i know along the north coast
Main thing is to hit about 4-5pm with your normal routine. Then you can meet people who work up and do stuff with them.
Continuing my last point,
>This may cause you to be afraid to speak up for yourself if she's doing something unfair or that bothers you, and again, if you don't speak up about it and just bottle it up, that creates future issues.
>Your negative, unhealthy lifestyle will get tiring overtime to a normal, mentally and emotionally sound girl. Sure people can care for each other in times of great pain, but if you last years on end with her, which is the goal, when she meets a fun, happy guy who may very well be more attractive than you, it will strain things. If she's a bad person she will cheat, if she's a good person she will break up with you and move on with her life.
>Second guessing everything about yourself can lead to huge issues in the bedroom, you may not be able to get it up, last very long, and god help you if you cum too fast and end up depressed for the rest of the night because you know you failed to please your woman. She will pick up on that, awkward.
>is this true? because it's the only hope i had for not feeling like shit. i never had a gf so the hope that one day i would get one and finally experience joy was the only thing keeping me going. if that's just foolish then i really see no reason why i shouldn't just end it now
People say it isn't true because, in their specific situation, it was not true and they had other issues.
Only you can know if it will be true for you.
If everything else in your life is bearable, it may certainly be the one thing you are lacking.
PEOPLE ARE DESIGNED BY EVOLUTION TO HAVE A MATE.
Not having one will cause your brain to inflict pain on you i.e. unhappiness. (It may even be that suicide is the proper evolutionary response to somebody who cannot manage to breed.)
I can just go on and on with this shit to be honest OP. I'm not trying to put you down, I just don't want you to have false hope. You have to look for happiness somewhere else. If the perfect girl fell in your lap right now and your life is in shambles and you're not mentally and emotionally put together at all, you wouldn't do anything but drive her away. And even if she does hypothetically grow to like you a lot, which is already a giant stretch to begin with, how long can you keep that up?
These underlying issues will eventually tear apart your relationship, and if you were depressed before, and during your relationship. Once it ends you will probably just kill yourself. This may make her feel bad for a few years at most, but of course she will end up moving on with her life and perhaps finding happiness. Thinking any other reality is possible is just being way too fucking optimistic and intentionally dishonest with yoursel
i don't have low self esteem. i think rather highly of myself, i am quite intelligent so things like work and school come so easily to me i don't have any stress in my life. however, i am eternally bored. i have no hardships or struggles, my life is *too easy*. i want to do something good but if i try to make the world a better place i am labeled a bad person. i hate the society i live in and only wish to insulate myself from it. my life has zero purpose because it's just too easy for me to survive and get the things i want (food, electronics, rent) apart from a gf but i don't even leave my room
Honestly I could have written the post you just wrote, I feel the exact same way.
My advice to you is to stop bitching and realize you have it fine, calling yourself depressed is an insult to depressed people. Stop doing that. I recovered from a decade long depression last year and I think you have too. Putting pussy on a pedestal where you feel like you need it to be happy even though you have all your needs met, high self esteem, no stress, and all the freetime you need is fucking sad man. That's part of why women treat us like shit now. Go and enjoy your stress free life and stop bitching on r9k about nothing.
It becomes another source of anxiety or depression. I have a gf and I can't help but be paranoid about her leaving me. I feel if I was a little more stable I wouldnt feel this way.
this stuff doesn't really apply to me. just imagine yourself in my shoes. you have a job, money, a car, an apartment, lift 3-5x a week so decently /fit/. you don't have a worry in the world. now imagine every interest you have (music, art, vidya, anime, whatever you do for 'fun') is now as boring to you as staring at a wall all day.
that's my problem. NOTHING is fun, and everything i need to do is too easy. i just want a demanding girl, maybe even a golddigger that will reward me for making money or something because if i have a full belly and place to sleep any extra money is not rewarding in the slightest.
I was depressed before i met her, was depressed almost a year into our relationship. Took pills, had panic attacks and talked to a psychiatrist every week but eventually everything worked out.
I started realizing that i was caught up at a dead end job, wasn't feeling good about myself and needed a change. Now i feel better than ever.
So to answer your question; No. Getting a gf wont fix your depression. Getting in line with yoursel and your needs will.
>Inb4 girlfriend and job fucking normie REEEE
> You have to look for happiness somewhere else
i'm afraid there is no happiness to be found anywhere else for me. i have no passion or interests and it's too easy for me to achieve my basic needs
i don't worry about money at all though... i am not rich but i don't have expensive tastes. if i won the lottery i would probably end up killing myself via heroin OD. in fact i did try to order heroin before because i had money to waste, fortunately it never came in the mail
this is what I want to do but i don't have any idea how to achieve it. i lift weights & eat healthy, but after that i am at a loss for what to do so i just distract myself with video games
To be honest I hated photography growing up but I took it up after snapping stupid shit on my iphone. Its a surprisingly geeky hobby when you get into shutter speed and aperture
On the other hand, i took up DJ'ing after going to a wagon christ gig and seeing the visuals luke made which went with it. Amazing
If youre in London Id be down to meet if you wanted to check out some hobbies
If you learn to use cfd's on a liquid market its not that hard. After 2 years of dabbling in fantasy stocks I used my returns as a resume portfolio and was in charge of a high profile hedge fund just after the crash
75k base salary plus 250-900k bonuses in my last few years. Retired last year with 1.5m in the bank and approx 750k in low risk funds with 50k i play about with
Before then i worked as a shift engineer at a factory so dont let where you are dictate the rest of your life
I can give you some websites to start if you want to try
i'm in florida. music just isn't very enjoyable to me and it's also a very personal thing i dont like sharing with other people. idk about photography or what i would take pics of
A lot of people have probably already said this. But if your sole reason for getting a gf is to be happy, you're going to fail in your endeavors.
All Memes aside, men and women both want to be with someone who can give them direction and be someone who they can be happy around. If you hate your life, you aren't that kind of person.
It has to be mutual. If you are entirely reliant on her making you happy, she's only going to do it for so long before she gives up on you.
I'm not telling you to magically get happy, but at least pretend if you're going to try and get a gf.
i did this, i learned about programming (my job now), diet/nutrition (for health optimization), cooking (so i can prepare healthy food). not really sure what else i can learn that will be rewarding in itself, you know? i can't think of something that i could learn that would improve my lif3 apart from hunting & preparing deer meat (something i always wanted to do) but i don't have the option to try that now, and it's not hunting season until September anyway so it would be illegal
Best thing about having a gf is no longer feeling >tfw no gf
Seriously that feel was the worst
I think you should get help for your depression before trying to find a girlfriend.
In your state, anything bad that would happen in your relationship would be crushing to you and you would be worse off than you are now
it might even make it worse anon you really have to just take it with time. maybe some girl will show up but most likely they wont unless you put the effort into. as for me I have accepted the loneliness that comes with this modern age.
tl:dr either try and accept failure or succeed which may not be likely if your posting here with us
not really. rejection never hurt me at all. it was just **back to normal**
and i really don't see how my depression can be helped. i'm going to a doctor for it (i signed up for a paid depression study) but they can't really do much but prescribe drugs
>All Memes aside, men and women both want to be with someone who can give them direction and be someone who they can be happy around. If you hate your life, you aren't that kind of person.
nah that restriction only applies to men. men will agree to stay with the most depressed, suicidal lunatic girls. I don't really get why people try to make it look like relationships are somehow symmetric between men and women
The rejection is not a big deal. Anyone can handle rejection.
But if you get a gf and fall in love and rely on her as your source of happiness, what do you think will happen to your psyche if she leaves you or cheats on you? Obviously it's not certain she will, but divorces and breakups have fucked up even normal guys, how do you think you would react if your only source of happiness suddenly scorned you?
You'd be even more depressed than now.
Create a CFD demo account with any provider who uses MT4 (investment banks use either this or Bloomberg). You begin with usually 50-100k fantasy money based on realtime markets
You can use leverage up to 1:200 (you put down X dollars and the broker will times it by 200 with their own money) this is dangerous for beginners but can make you profit very quickly from small movements in the market
You bet on currency pairings, e.g. usd to yen
If it goes up 0.010 pips (so dollar is 1c more) you gain 1c on every dollar youre playing with. For 20k (or 1000$ with 20:1 leverage) youre looking at a 200$ profit from a tiny movement which happens almost daily
Times it to 200:1 and youre looking at 2k in less than 20 mins work, 5 of them an hour and you can return 10k a day with minimal effort
Its very risky so learn on a demo account first
Investopedia forums are a great resource too
if she doesn't want to be with me i wouldnt want to continue the relationship. i don't think i can "fall in love" like that. i will just love her like i love my puppy, or cheese, or tobacco or any of the other small # of things that give me happiness in this world. if she doesn't love me back she cannot give me happiness and i will drop her like i would an old, moldy piece of what was once a delicious piece of cake
Yeah you're not even depressed. You're just bored, nothing is good enough for you.
I envy that mindset but at the same time, I don't think you'll ever find something or someone good enough and you'll always be miserable.
Good luck m8
well shit i guess it's better to be eternally bored than depressed, maybe. i don't even need fun to be happy tbqh, i just need to know i'm doing something constructive and i'm better off for it. and if it's doing something for a girl that provides me affection in return i'll do her homework or give her all my excess money or whatever, idgaf. unless i'm in physical pain it's not any worse than this
girls will never like you because women look for you for strength and they see you depression as weakness. also women only care about themselves they don't care about your problems.
no, if she fucks other guys i wont want to be with her. but i will give her anything she wants in return for her giving me what i want (affection, possibly children) so long as it doesn't get in the way of my basic needs, which is pretty much only food