NEET/Beta Greentexts

I actually have a story that just happened last night.

>friend call me around 8:00 last night and invites me to come over for a party
>wait twenty minutes to arrive fashionably late and take ten minutes to drive over
>he answers the door and asks why I'm here
"For the party, man!"
>I thought it was currently in progress but he tells me nobody else is here but I can come in if I want
>go in and sit on the couch
>we sit for a couple minutes without saying a word and he tells me he has to go do something
Sure thing, I'll just wait here
>He leaves and I'm left sitting on his couch
>thirty minutes go by and I'm just sitting there like a bum
>notice a colander or spaghetti in the sink
>hungry because I haven't eaten all day
>I'll just use my hands and eat a little bit, nobody will notice
>thebeastawakens.jpeg
>soon I'm cramming spaghetti into my mouth with both hands and getting it all over the floor/counter/myself
>door opens and friend comes in with a couple guys and like five women
>whip around slinging spaghetti everywhere
>knock it off the counter onto the floor
>friend asks what the fuck is wrong with me, everyone else is staring
>run past them, outside, out of the apartment, to the parking lot
>get in my car nearly in tears because of what a fuckup I am
>look over at the passenger seat
>it's full of spaghetti because I never let go of what was in my hands
>start laughing as I realize I was in a literal spaghetti story
>get sad again because I'm autistic

Happened to me at the beginning of the school year
>2nd week of School
>Trying to reinvent myself as a social butterfly
>Guy from Chemistry class invites me to his Fraternity party
>S-see you there
>Take a few shots of vodka to loosen up beforehand
>Get to party, feeling nervous but doing ok socially
>Need to get more alcohol, then I put social skills to maximum overdrive
>Only beer there, no hard alcohol
>Beer gives me the shits, but fuck it, I'm sobering up
>4 beers deep, start talking to Chad who promises he's "going to get me laid". He's actually a pretty cool guy
>Stomach starts to rumble
>Oh fuck
>"H-hey man, where's the bathroom?"
>"Just down the hall bro! I'll probably see you in there!"
>"o-ok..."
>Run down the hall as quick as I can to get to bathroom

>>25856740
>Open stall door and apparently one of the stall walls has been knocked down so it's essentially two toilets in one stall
>wtf? doesn't matter, about to have explosive diarrhea
>As soon as I sit down, someone comes into the bathroom
>Chad goes into the second stall, and sits on the toilet right next to me
>"Fuck yeah bro! Let's take a buddy shit!"
>Trying with all my might to hold in the liquid shit that's building up pressure on my anus
>"u-uh, can you please leave. I-I'd like some privacy"
>"Come on bro! There's nothing like taking a buddy shit, it's a bonding experience!"
>At that moment liquid fecal matter erupts from my asshole like Old Faithful
>Chad looks over and give me the most disgusted look
>Shit is still spraying out of my asshole with enough pressure to strip paint
>The smell is enough to make him physically gag. It smells as if someone had vomited half digested rotten eggs and left the vomit on a hot sidewalk
>"S-sorry" is all I can muster
>Chad doesn't even wipe his ass and just pulls up his pants and runs out of the bathroom
>Jesus christ, thank god that's over
>Mopping up after the horrible mess
>Suddenly, a group of guys walks in
>"OH MY FUCKING GOD, THAT SMELLS TERRIBLE. WHO THE FUCK IS TAKING A SHIT"
>They open the stall and see me sitting there with my pants around my ankles
>They all start laughing and I pull up my pants and shove my way past them
>Run back to dorm as fast I can with shit still running down my leg
>Have to walk up 15 flights of stairs with liquid shit in my pants to avoid the elevator
>Cry myself to sleep that night

Bumping for more beta green text

Keep them coming faggots

>>25856740
>>25856774
>Going to a frat party
>Current year

You got exactly what you deserved

>>25856666
nice quads dr. autismo

>>25856774
>>25856740
thank you for that. i was in laughing the entire read.

>>25856323
wtfbro? What does that mean?

>>25857104
Oh sorry, I'm a pretty shit story teller. Basically my friend talked to a bunch of girls in our homeroom, but they only talked with him because he was a pathetic bastard. Eventually, he manged to piss off and creep out everyone in our homeroom, and he spent the rest of high school alone.

>>25857184
It was a mediocre story lad