/britfeel/ >tfw no op edition

>>25853261

I hope you get killed tomorrow, most likely in a car accident, but anything will do.

>>25853313
That's tight mate

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Been a busy day of feeding squirrels and watching Gaki No Tsukai

>>25853313
b...but why senpai?

WHO /BLAZED/ HERE!!

THEY DON'T WANT US TO SMOKE WEED!

Who /firstdates/ here?

I love it and hate that I do

Just spent 90 minutes watching a single episode of Precure. Why did I think I could learn Japanese?

>>25853490
Never been on a date in my life mate

Hey would anyone like to come talk on Omegle with the britfeel tag I'm feeling lonesome

>>25853549
tv show m8 o

>>25853424
I love squirrels and feeding them mate what did you feed them? I like feeding them nuts and crackers. There's loads of good squirrels round here, they're a NEETs best friend.

>>25853543
I can read and write like 2200 kanji

Grammar pisses me the fuck off though, so I don't bother. Still review Kanji every day. Only takes like 10 minutes

>find out girl I was close to asking out had a bf but he dumped her on Saturday

Such a close call lads, best not to try in future to avoid embarrassment

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Snows melted now fucking annoying desu

>>25853768
Is it better to have had no snow at all?

tfw my mum confiscated my piss bottle

do i piss out of the window?

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waifus need a-postin', lads

>>25853624
Well first i put a pile of oats out to attract them over. Secondly, i throw out some broken up biscuits.

I might also throw some other things into the mix like my mid morning apple core.

In the past they've ate from my hand but this years pack are skittish around humans, maul each other though.

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>>25853943
Late night Mugi time.

>>25853942
piss in her room or in a wastebin obviously with a carrier bag and some paper in there too

>>25853818
I dunno it was comfy while it lasted

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>>25854054
OI OI OI WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

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>>25853943
I hear you senpai

Poundland's got Princes canned salmon, that shit costs 2.50 or something at Tesco. What's up with that?

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>>25854114
This was one of the few times I see a post waifus post without you already posting her, let me have this one.

>>25854054
Poogi

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>>25854339
Okay but you have to be number 2, no touching either

>>25854163
Price markups mate
You do t think every shop charges the same do you?

>>25854054
>>25854114
Was expecting some serious bantz but you weebs have let me down

Awwshit.. my internet went out for like an hour.

it was really scary. the thought of being alone with nothing to do.

>>25854572
Alone with your thoughts.

>>25854572
Really don't know what I'll do when 4chan shuts down
8ch is wank and so is Reddit
4chan truly is unique, I'm used to the culture

can potatoes join

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>>25854597
>Alone with your thoughts
>thoughts
>[thoughts]
>*thoughts*
>(thoughts)
>thoughts...

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>>25854388
>>25854466
>

>>25854404
She's been my waifu since before you've had pubes, I want 50/50.

>>25854748
2009 wasn't too long ago, I would've had pubes btw, whatever pham

>ywn have a cutie down syndrome wife that stays in at home all the time and looks after you that you can take advantage of sexually but will never actually have children with because you can't stand retards

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>>25854854
>down syndrome wife
pretty gross 2bh

>>25854854
I think they're infertile.

gone fail my test in 2 days lmao wtever

>>25854958

Wiki says they have lowered fertility, men more so than women, but they can spawn 'successfully'.

>>25855022
ergh that's disgusting

Should be forcibly sterelized

>>25853437
>sketching out
>just want to sleep it off
>need a shit
>stumble to the toilet
>find out the shit wasnt real
>throw up all over the floor while sitting on the toilet
>havent eaten in so it's just acid
>tears down my face hoping my flatmates didnt hear me
Never smoke when you havent slept in 20 hours and had a bite to eat in 15, lesson learned

>>25855022
just flush it down the toilet

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>>25853437
>tfw don't have enough disposable income for weed or the means to get it

time to light a spliff and leave this mortal plane of existence

>>25855193
grow that shit faggot

>>25853437
>>25855193
I bought some today with my ESA I got today, it was 110bong and weighs 14.5 grams, pretty chuffed desu.

>>25853490
First dates is brilliant, you actually get some genuine people on there, and the shit some people spout is very entertaining.

Got some tramadol too.

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>>25855622
Forgot pic

Hrbrjfndj

>>25855622
Where you get itt from?

>tfw ex appeared on Tinder
>i swiped right

>>25855697
My dealer. Been getting off him for like 2 years. I've reclused a lot since then, bit still buy weed from him. I don't really go out only to pick up desu

>>25855700
What did the feel feel like? firstly seeing your ex on tinder, then swiping right. It's been 5 months since my ex left me and o still think of her every day.

>>25853261
Okay so my dad was British, born in England to English parents but married an American citizen and moved to America to have me. It says on the UK government site that I have claim to British Citizenship. You think I can get a UK Passport?

>>25855810
My heart stopped and I farted and it was a smelly one.

Been 5 months for me as well. The less conversations I have with females, the more I think about her. I dread to think if she'd actually swipe right no me as well. I bet she's found it easy to move on since women can easily get mens attention.

>>25855839
Don't see why not

Would be pretty cool tbqfh. Can live anywhere in the US or Europe. The only 2 places anyone would actually want to live.

>Finally re-download tinder for hte first time in months
>Match with a bunch of guys immediately because of course i did
>Start talking specifically with this cute twink
>Talking for 2 hours now, been a good mix of banter and flirting
>Finally mention that im free wednesday and that we should hang out, obviously meaning sex
>"Yeah we could meet, suppose we could get coffee?"

I FIND THE ONE FUCKING GAY ON TINDER THAT ISNT LOOKING FOR EASY SEX

GUYS ARE MANT TO BE EASIER THAN GIRLS WHAT IS THIS

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>>25855788
My old dealer is an hour and a half journey each way
speaking of ex's here's some cringe OC I feel like sharing

>>25855960
Gays are promiscuous whores not interested in relationships.

Not really a secret

>>25855960
Coffee means sex you dense retard.

>>25855968
what did mummy say?

>>25855998
Coffee is the standard "first date" now

You've been watching too many American TV shows where they invite the other in for coffee after a date

>>25855968
>I'll be forwarding those messages to your mother
Does anybody have that ohhhhh that ones going to sting in the morning wojack for this?

>>25856043
You realize that these days you have sex on the first date? Coffee is just the quick bit to make sure you're not a creep.

>>25855977
>>25855998

I tried to push it towards sex by saying

"I'm up for most things really, obviously can't guess what you're looking for on here."

His response

"I've been looking for a guy that isnt JUST interested in shagging, you seem like a good canddiate for that."

F U C K

M Y

L I F E

I BARELY EVEN LIKE GUYS THIS WAS DESPERATION STUFF

>>25856085
Faggots don't go through the pretense. If they wanna fuck, they'll be up front

Coffee is coffee

>>25855839
I'm pretty much the opposite of this, american dad, english mum.

>>25856120
Use grindr if you just want to stick your dick in something

>>25856120
He sounds easy to manipulate. Put up with him on the date and you'll be getting your dick sucked by the end of the night.

>>25855863

I've been thinking the same mate, but I guess we'll never know. I did look on her Twitter one time when I was Pissed and one said 'boy likes me. Not ready for that life rn', and then enfer up messaging ver abuse. She made it private after that and I learned my lesson not to look at it again. Also, at new years, I hadn't been on facebook in two months, and I opened it and typed the first letter of her first name into the search bar, 'G'. Her name and picture came up, shed unblocked me the day out of 2 months of not looking on there, shed unblocked me on that day, and then 2 days later blocked me again.

Youre lucky that you do have contact with females though. I've found myself uninterested desu.

I don't know about you, but when she does pop into my head now, I don't get that feeling in my chest of knots, I feel a feeling like a fondness.

We're gonna make it mate.

>>25856169
Is your dad all happy clappy and excited about fucking everything?

Would do me head in that.

>>25855863
Im >>25856193

I forgot to mention her face has gotten so much fucking fatter. I felt really good when I noticed, as I've been losing a lot of weight.

>>25856178

Tinder is at least a bit easier to figure out how safe the guy is.

>>25856183

I have my house empty this week though (still live at home, dont get my own flat till June) and hes on study leave but only for the next week and wont be free next till May and I cant guarnatee I'll have an empty house then. This isliterally the perfect time for some boy ass and he's being all coy and "oooh gotta have a coffee date first". I do not have the time for this shit but he's by far the best option.

>>25856258
You've got the whole week, it'll be very easy.

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>>25856025
>>25856079
If my mum received the messages I haven't heard about it, I would probably kill myself if my mum knew what I asked her
Here's some follow up material

>>25856286

Not really, I have uni from 9-5 Thursday and my dad comes back Thursday evening so will be working at home on Friday. MY choices are to either convince this guy t ocome to my house for coffee Wednesday or to find a looser but sketchier option which i am not going to do.

I just need to end this dry spell truswt my luck.

>>25856193
After we split up, she blocked me from everything. It was sort of after new years like your situation, she unlocked me so the option to message her is there. I hate the fact I still miss her a bit because she kissed two guys that she knew and yet I'm here feeling like I want her back.

I have one female friend I was close with and asked on a date but rejected me so we stayed as friends. I stupidly told my ex and she could never trust me whenever I went to see my friend. That was only the argument we really ever had and I gave up trying to get her to trust me.

Wish I could be uninterested. I literally want a female friend who ain't in a relationship and just do things.

>>25856288
green text this story please there's too many redactions in those images

>>25855968
>>25856288

How the fuck did you mess up that badly? Seriously, therapy?

Post what you said. I need some background.

>>25855968

>You know are not the person I had a reationship

Woah, that hit hard.

>>25856193
i'm >>25856332. Going to bed now so if you do reply, I'll read it in the morn. Look after yourself, pal.

>>25856414
No it didn't?

>>25856332
She kissed the 2 guys she knew after it ended or during? Also how did you guys split up? Also resist the temptation to message, luckily I can't do that because she reblocked me.

In mine I was quite controlling, she was a curvy qt with a really cute face and a massive arse. Was with her for 18 months. She was absolutely smitten with me and I constantly used it to my advantage, like her giving me money and her buying weed and stuff from asda etc. She had no friends too, and she was pretty much a virgin. Shed just moved down here, and the one friend she did talk to on facebook, was an absolute whore who didn't care about my ex but used her as an emotional tampon, I just made her aware of it really and she agreed.

I fucked it up with my only female friend before I met the ex, I tried it on with het and she didn't appreciate it.

it should get better with time, what was once a lot of pain, will end up being healed by the only constant we have. Time.

>>25856458
I'm >>25856532.

Same to you mate. And so will I.

Guys can we take this gay feels shit somewhere else? It's really not the place for it. Add each other on skype or something. None of us want to read these boring walls of text.

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I know you must see these. I know you're out there.

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We don't plague kew game

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>>25856387
>>25856360
>have 1 and only friend
>comes out to me as a self proclaimed sex addict (pic related) and her boyfriend won't have sex with her
>"Haha if I didn't have him I'd be fucking someone I assure you that"
>have always liked this girl very much and wanted to dump my seed in her (whorish personality turns me on a bit), send her "I'll show you mine if you show me yours?"
>"You shouldn't ask strange questions
When I have a boyfriend and I've already told you no you should respect that"
>no longer have any friends

pt2 is where it gets to my drug binge, but I don't know if I should share it 2bh
As the previous images suggest I fucked up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-ah5xJz6ZU

>>25856756
>has lupus
>will be dead within a couple of years
mate stop posting this irish faggot

>>25856816
she's northern not irish and no I will not

>>25856855
she sounded irish when she was sucking my dick mate

>>25856813
>literally normie shit
who cares

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>>25856756
>but dongle with far high 'yer noses up and hack with the mind
>orange bud
>find

>>25856907
I'll be here all year round

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-putting caps on spoilers
>OPPO

>>25856879
You must not be very good at distinguishing accents then

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>>25856988
>my team have me
>still winning

>>25856203
Yeah I know what you mean, he kind of is actually.
It's used to be a little bit embarrassing, I'm used to it now though.

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Thinking about going down the jobbie tomorrow and signing on. NEET with money but I think I'd be foolish not to get some extra dillies and pass up shit like free dental care at this point. It's been many years since I last signed on so anyone got any hints, tips or cheats I should be aware of?

>>25856085
Surely not commonly. I really would feel awful if it's actually common to fuck on the first date.

>>25856813
I'd like to know about your drug binge anon.

>>25857547
The best thing to do is go to your doctor's, and get a sick note for depression. Just go to your doctor's, make an appointment, and bullshit the doctor saying you're depressed, no motivation, whatever, lay it on thick. Then call up the jobcentee number and apply for ESA, employment and support allowance. Also, if you get a walking stick, you can get extra money because it 'restricts your mobility'. You won't have to sign on, you just need to keep getting medical certificates from your doctor. You can get up to 125bong a week

>>25858563
>if it's actually common to fuck on the first date
If they like you then it is

its 5am, why are you guys up?

as for me i just didnt stop using the computer and now its 5

>>25859073
Playing some duelyst senpai. It's pretty fun actually. Getting alot of wins because its a new game.

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>>25858563
>tfw 0 friends
>take 3/4g of MDMA
>start asking both girls to fuck me
>say to them they can do anything they like, say to one I'll pay them
>send them dick pics, ask them to show me their feet and ass tell one if she doesn't want sex I'll pay for a video of her boyfriend ass fucking her
>get messages next day telling me if I have social problems to get professional help and never message them again
>lost only opportunity to rejoin society via friendship
>went to doctor and they put me on CBT
>mfw it did nothing

>tfw cant sleep

what do I do? I'm bored but tired /britfeel/

>>25859329
been completely fucking up my sleep schedule in the past month or so

>>25859210
Oops

Urbdifbfifb

>tfw woke up at 6:30 am and I'm not even employed

Breakfast and then an early gym session it is then lads, might have a cheeky sauna after too

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>mum gone to work
>playing some cheeky melodica

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>Morning time for wagecucks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkZLl1CUT9s
UNTIL THE WALLS FALL OUT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSVnVJrTDGM
OOH MAMA OOH MAMA

>practicing my tuesday Tibetan throat singing
>feel like I've pulled a throat muscle
What do I do now?

Tuesday morning rap music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upvu_W5jW1U

>8:40am
>/slowfeel/

>>25853437
>weed

Normie out

>DJ Khaled

Hyper memer normie out reeeee

>>25858563
>The best thing to do is go to your doctor's, and get a sick note for depression. Just go to your doctor's, make an appointment, and bullshit the doctor saying you're depressed, no motivation, whatever, lay it on thick. Then call up the jobcentee number and apply for ESA, employment and support allowance. Also, if you get a walking stick, you can get extra money because it 'restricts your mobility'. You won't have to sign on, you just need to keep getting medical certificates from your doctor. You can get up to 125bong a week

Really helpful mate thanks. What is the difference between ESA and the normal dole? I could easily get a bi polar diagnosis from the doc do you think this would be even more useful?

>Glenn Fry dead
>le kill everyone year XD
>2016

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Would anyone here go travelling alone? I'm not talking like spending 6 months in Asia or someshit, more like spend a few weeks going around museums and galleries in comfy europesn cities and stuff.

Or would I regret leaving my computer?

And hour and a half before thearpy.
Odds I down this vodka to get through it, evens sober-mode.

>>25863720
No mate that sounds nice I would go alone. The nice thing about other countries is they don't speak English so you don't have to listen to normies talking bollocks when you walk around.

>>25863778
>going sober mode

Unlucky m8

>>25863720
Might fuck off to Australia for 6 months in the next few years. Nothing left for me here desu lads

>>25854854
When yellow fever goes wrong.

Be warned weebs....

>>25863720
I wouldn't do it in the summer, the most popular thing for normies right now is doing exactly that to 'experience the world' aka get pissed in a countries capital then take some nice instagram pictures of that monument everyone knows.

"Boiler guys" are in house lads, are they actually boiler people or are they robbing me?

Just to let you know I'm back from the gym lads, the sauna was out of order which annoyed me a little, now cooking myself a steak and some broccoli

Cheers

>>25863936
Pretend to make them a cuppa then burn their achieving faces.

Watching Jeremy Kyle some druggie cutie with tattoos on her face.

Why is this guy such faggot?

>>25863991
>cutie

Mate...

>>25864008
I want to go take over her from beard man i he goes to rehab and leaves her. I'd do heroin with her.

looking for qt ass to fuck in the central belt

No homo, maybe a little, will be fucked too

>>25864036
Not fucking grindr m8

Scottish people on Jeremy Kyle now

>the city of Scotland

>everyone's a normie and gone to work instead of shit posting

Fucking sell outs

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>loads of commotion outside
>look outside across the street everybody is dressed up smart with presents
>they see me so I give them a smile and a wave
>mfw the hearse pulls up

>>25864179
just on a conference call with Belgium now bored af senpai

>>25864187
Who are the presents for?

>waiting for the men with the clothes washer machine to turn up

Anxious as fuck desu have no idea what time they're going to be here they're just going to turn up whenever they want. I bet they're going to be Chads. Would be better if they were pakis.

>Jew on Sky News saying Christian schools shouldn't be allowed to choose to let Christian students in

Why do Jews want a Caliphate? I thought Muslims were their sworn enemies?

>>25864258
They put them in the back with the big wooden box, some guy called RIP

>>25864340
What a fucking waste. It's like a house warming present for the world's shittest flat

Had a dream last night that I was walking around naked and slapping people with my dick.

What does this mean?

>>25864289
They know they can crush muslims with ease, the white man is the problem.

>>25864371
It means you had a dream, last night most likely, that you were walking around naked and slapping people with my dick for some reason.

sometimes when my mates are talking about weed for hours at a time i think 'is there more to life then this?' then i take another bong hit and get wavey looooool

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>>25864407
>is there more to life then this?
Probably not, we're like the a wick, slowly running out of time until we are nothing and replaced

>>25864407
DUDE WEED LMAO!!?! XD

Thought I'd get in and steal the autist's thunder before he had a chance.

Also

>having friends

Okay Norm

>>25853261
Tfw its 10 57am and im stoned of my tits and ive got a bunch of uni work to do due for my test on wednesday fml

>>25864448
looooool

OC

Anyone else believe they are immune to the propaganda on TV and shit?

>>25856532
What happened was that I told her I was going for a bite to eat the night before with a female friend who I've known longer than her and told her how I knew her. She interpreted it as a date then did a little split up then went out and met up with a friend and apparently kissed him.

Second one was her old school friend who got in contact with her when they saw each other on a night out. She told me and I was fine that she started talking to him again. He asked her for a drink and I said go ahead cause the way I see it, if she does anything, it's her fault. I expected her to be home at like 10pm but it got to like 1am when she said she was home then she admitted that she kissed him a week later. I forgave her cause I loved her.

Then a month down the line, We were going on holiday together and she'd been talking to friends about me and my female friend and they all obviously didn't agree with it so she made me choose between her and my friend. I chose her cause I didn't want a holiday to go to waste but I never loved her as much since she wanted me to choose. Then we finished out holiday and then we had sex and I told her I didn't love her as much as she loved me.

Few days later, I meet up with my female friend at Costa and my ex walks in with her mother and sees us both and I knew she'd think we were some sort of item even though my friend has a boyfriend.

Also she was one of those girls where every time my phone went off, she asked who it was. I had that for a year and a half and I got tired that she kept fucking asking because I never asked her who she was talking to.

>>25864402
What does it mean tho. Like the teeth falling out dream means you're afraid of losing wealth, what does a dickslapping dream mean?

>>25864502
You have a subconscious urge to rape
I'd suggest meditating or something
Tuesday morning jazz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cFPTM35qio

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>>25864496
>this blog is still going

>>25864535
I can relate to the guy. You don't have to read our blogposts, bruv.

>>25864502
Dreams don't mean shit.

>>25864530
Dis good man

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>>25864535
>tfw helped keep the thread alive all night for this purpose
>people being mean to some gay people keeping the comfy

Want to have a wank but don't want the clothes washer men to show up and there is jizz everywhere

>Black people boycotting the oscars because they get BTFO ever year

Should white people boycott 100m sprinting then...?

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>>25864289
>The Jews did it

isis are not the enemy.

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>you will never be in an anime

come for me death, I am ready

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>tfw you wake up after a heavy sesh on the ol /maryjane/

Don't know what's worse, feeling half blind or needing to go for a shift 5 times because of all the junk you ate.

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>>25864616
>you will never be a wee hobbit roaming middle earth smashing the shit out of people of another race with a dwarf, wizard and an elf doing all kinds of mad shit to some momentum building music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwIVs_F2kMo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MWxAAQoNiw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYGud45nkwg

>tfw Stacey compliments you on your thigh gap

Feels good tbqh lads~

>>25864835
Why are you not in school?

>>25864835
Are you a girl?
Remember you do have weight problems so your thighs will have a large amount of space between them

>>25864835
>thigh gap

Absolutely disgusting

You disgust me

The gmail phishing was a complete disaster

>wait until midnight to log in
>something seems different about ho you're logging in: verify that it's you
>don't know her phone, security question or backup email
Complete fucking waste of time

Fucked it up further though by accidentally sending her 2 facebook password reset emails too

>>25864902
Tried to get on my mums facebook, she doesn't even save her password on her computer, it's not even in passwords or internet files

>>25864884
He's not a girl he is a 17 year old boy and he is in fact fat as fuck despite not eating

>>25864902
You are seriously thick. Did you not know when you try to log onto Google from a different device it stops you? Proper spacker you are mate.

>>25864902
good, glad it failed you utter cretin

crawl back under your rock

>>25864902
>Sent her a facebook phishing email
>She did type her password in
>but she has changed both her facebook and gmail emails even though now I have her recovery email

>>25864951
On my throwaway emails, I only get asked for the city I usually sign in from

Anyone have that family member that buys shit in excess? I don't even know if this is a thing but my grandfather does this so hard.

>live with grandfather
>take it in turns to shop
>he does most of it due to me working
>ask him to pick up some biscuits
>literally buys 30+ packets over the course of few days
>ask him for some lemsips because I have a cold
>literally buys 5 boxes of lemsips and another 5 boxes of other pills
>buys some pizzas
>asks me what I think of them
>tell him they aren't bad
>buys 10 boxes with a constant supply of them coming in

Is this some form of OCD or what

>>25864971
Sounds like CBD.

That is pretty odd, does he shop at cash and carrys or just buys shit at retail?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGf5Oar3H5I
Apple go smoosh

>>25865086
>CBD
What's CBD?

He doesn't buy cheap shit, he always buys top brand stuff. We also have a dog and there are literally a couple hundred tins of dog food stashed away under the stairs. He just buys a few tins everytime he goes. The dog only has 1 a day...

>>25865091

I rather suppose it does, yes.

>>25864971

All grandparents do that, it's the war babies, they just hoard shit because it makes them happy, and live off of the giant pensions they gave themselves.

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Holy shit, This Morning is a laugh.

They just had a doctor on and they were answer calls from painkiller addicts and the first woman said she is mentally tormented and she doesnt feel like she can go on amd they didnt have a fucking clue what to do. The doctor could barely speak English and then they just said to her "ummmm stay on the line and we'll give some advice.

Then the other woman had a ma who would take like 10 a day then the doctor was like "thats not that much 8 is the limit, so dont worry" and Phillip amd holly were clueless what to do

Btw I'd fuck holly

>>25865164
>10 a day
>mfw I take 250mg of codeine just to get a nice buzz

Not addicted though. Will be stopping soon as my tolerance is getting higher than I want.

>>25865109
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_buying_disorder

Obviously the stereotype of this disorder is some tramp buying shoes and handbags but in my opinion, grocery shopping in itself is the most accessible form of retail therapy.

>>25865248
He started doing it after my grandma died a couple years ago. Maybe it's something to fill a hole or maybe he's trying to make me happy like he tried to make my grandma happy?

Most stuff he buys in excess is for me.

>>25865164

>using people's desperate cries for help to entertain NEETs and "stay at home mums".

ITV are just the fucking worst.

>>25865164
>This Morning, sponsored by Boots

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>see this on course group chat

Why are normals so fucking annoying?

>>25865272
Well as long as he's not in debt or eating in to your inheritance, let him live (no pun intended)

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Reminder to transition if you're under 5'10"

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>An exciting opportunity has appeared to...

NO ITS NOT YOU FUCKING TWATS ITS A BORING MANUAL LABOR JOB TO CART AROUND BOXES FOR 9 HOURS A DAY FUCK I HATE LOOKING FOR JOBS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

How much more effective are electric razors on your balls?

I shave my pubes and balls but I always end up getting an ingrown hair on my balls and they are incredibly painful. So painful that I have to walk like a cowboy unless there is a plaster over it and if I accidentally catch it whilst drying myself I will go through the roof.

Will an electric shaver minimize this?

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Fruit, Vegetables & Flowers
ASDA Grower's Selection Mixed Chillies 60g
Quantity1
ASDA Grower's Selection Mixed Peppers 3pk
Quantity1
ASDA Grower's Selection Tropical Fruit Salad 380g
Quantity2
Meals, Pizza, Pies & Snacks
ASDA Chicken Tikka Masala & Chicken Jalfrezi Indian Meal for 2 1360g
Quantity1
ASDA Classic Chicken Hotpot 400g
Quantity1
ASDA Classic Lamb Hotpot 400g
Quantity1
ASDA Chosen by You American Sizzler Deep Pan Pizza 10in 430g
Quantity2
Meat
Butcher's Selection Beef Mince 750g
Quantity1
Rice, Pasta & Noodles
Pot Noodle Bombay Bad Boy 90g
Quantity5
Sauces, Meal Kits & Mixes
Nando's Peri-Peri Rub Hot 25g
Quantity1
Old El Paso Cooking Sauce for Chilli con Carne Chilli & Bean
345g
Bakery
ASDA Custard Doughnuts 5pk
(13.0p/each)
Quantity1
Crisps, Nuts & Crackers
Walkers Sensations Sensations Thai Sweet Chilli Coated Peanuts 150g
(66.7p/100g)
Quantity1
Old El Paso Spice Mix for Roasted Tomato and Pepper Fajitas 30g
Quantity1
Soft Drinks, Juice & Water
7up Regular 2lt
(5.0p/100ml)
Quantity1
Pepsi Max Bottle 2lt
(5.0p/100ml)
Quantity1
Shopping total *:31.66
>mfw going to refund the pizzas, 1 fruit salad and any subs they give me

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NANCY FROM EASTENDERS AND JASON MANFORD CONFIRMED FOR CELEB BAKE-OFF

>>25865518

She seems cute. Keep that Northern beast Manford away from her though.

Amazon customer service is spot on. There have been a few times I've had problems. Once the item never arrived, I contacted them and they sent a free replacement the next day, just took my word on it. And twice the item was faulty, again, they sent me a replacement the next day and just took my word on it.

Which way to turn radiator thing to turn on/make hotter? It's not got any numbers on it it's a really old plastic circular thing.
>>25865518
I'd fancy Nancy if she let me dancy in her panties with her fancy, or just dump my seed in whichever terminology she likes best

>>25865564

>dump my seed in whichever terminology she likes best

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmezIIrFQmY&feature=youtu.be&t=1m2s

Guys, it's my mum's birthday next week. She's been having a rough time lately (breakup etc) and I'd like to get her something nice but I have absolutely no fucking idea what to get.

I asked her what she wanted and she just said she didn't know...

Any ideas?

>>25865690

An early edition of a book she really likes.

>>25865749
She hasn't read in years. She's quite a busy woman.

>>25865690
I'd like to add that usually I just give her cash and have done this for years but cash is really half arsed and doesn't really mean anything. I'd like to get her something that means something.

I had a wank and dropped the tissue into what I thought was an empty bag of crunchy m&ms (my favourite) but it was actually an almost full bag.

I went to eat some later and there's this fucking tissue in it so I take it out and the m&ms on top are all melted and shit. I'm still considering eating them at this point but I try to remove the gross ones and they're all covered in what I can only assume is bright blue food coloured semen.

such a waste

>>25865764

Something she read as a child?

>>25865610
Accurately describes the situation 2bh

Just had a telephone interview lads, fucked up on almost every question but somehow still passed.

Now I have to fill in a references form and go for an assessment.

But here's the question: how do I give 2 references when I've only had one job that was all of last year. My boss, sure, but who else?

Why won't my oneitis return my messages the past 3 days?
>>25865815
someone from education

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>waiting for new microphone
>want to play vidya
>don't want to be that retard who plays without a mic

HURRY UP!

>>25864492
You're not immune. You're an idiot, though.

Even if you see an ad and realise it's propaganda...they still have you. You're still thinking about it regardless...

>>25865488
>American Sizzler Deep Pan Pizza

That was the worst pizza I've ever fucking eaten.

>>25863506
Esa means no job search and no signing on, jsa means you have to do those two things.

>>25865857
what are you playing that really needs a mic?

also >having friends reeeeeeeeeeee

>>25865926
It's grandiose pham

>>25866043
Rainbow six siege.

Communication is really important.

>>25865690
Subscription to eharmony

>>25865690

A nice big black dildo.

>>25866089
>>25866098
You guys are hilarious.....really.

>>25866020
>jsa means you have to do those two things.

Fuck that bollocks mate. I need to get on this ESA. All you need is depression and you're good to go?

>expecting interview result on whether I got the job or not today
>still no email

>>25864407
>Weed
>dude so high right now
Normie out reeeeeeee

>>25864460
Oh look another weed normie

Get your own general on a normie board reeeeee

>>25865690
>female having a tough time
>breakup

Does not compute.

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Might go get something to eat lads.
Whats everyone else been having today?
Could use some new ideas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82u6liH6Tl0

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>>25864964
>Thanks to the polish whiteknight anon you get to enjoy either Pakiboo failing or this twat stewing in anger

>>25866149
yeah man. It's been enough for me for nearly two years. The doctor will ask you how it makes you 'unfit for work', so you have to say stuff like you get scared to go outside, and get sweats etc, and your depression makes it impossible because yada yada just make it up. If you're like me, the doc will prescribe you flouxetine, you don't have to take them, and he'll say check back in a month. That gives you another excuse to get another medical certificate in a month.

I think being on Esa makes you tend to be more of a recluse, as there's no face to face stuff, only with your doctor. If you're already a recluse like me, it won't matter I guess.

>>25866287
I had some Garlic Bread from last night's pizza take away.

>>25864902
Not only does it stop you from logging in at a different location/device, it then tells you about blocked login attempts and WHERE they came from.
She's going to know it was you.

>>25866334
>WHERE
Thank God I was using a VPN
Made like 10-20 attempts though, that must have freaked her out

>>25866327
I prefer being a recluse desu don't like seeing other people.

Thanks for the help bud might not kill myself if I can pull this off.

Is it possible to go too far with the depression? I've heard if you tell them that you want to kill yourself they might actually just send you straight to the looney bin with no bennies.

this is my first post on /r9k/ and i dont know what this board is about but

how many of you are NEETs?
im off to work at the local spar soon and earn shitty supervisor wage for 9hrs love this job

>>25866357
Are you not worried about jail? The way you are carrying on you will end up there sooner or later.

>>25866327
>Esa makes you tend to be more of a recluse, as there's no face to face stuff, only with your doctor
Uwotm8? If you're in the support group you don't have to see the doctor anymore for a year/2years.

>>25866379
>how many of you are NEETs?

I'm a NEET

How did you get a job at Spar are you a paki? I always think Spar looks like a cosy place to work. My dream job is working at one of those tiny little Post shops.

>>25866380
Why? I've got little to lose

It's everyone else who should be afraid of continually pressing me

>>25866387
no im not a paki, its not too bad ive been there 3 months and im already a supervisor and the manager loves me so hes putting me up for a manager job at a different spar but i cant afford a car so fuck knows how ill get there, but yeah i just asked for a application and filled it out had a interview and that was it hired 3 days later plus theres some QT im trying to fuck that works with me

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http://youtu.be/nnY2UJqiGUE

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>all these oldfags getting mad on BBC news because interest rates aren't going up

God I fucking hate these greedy old cunts.

>>25866404
You're talking to the redditor who wants to see you hung for daring to upset milady.

>>25864902
I'm glad to hear this. You've improved my miserable week

>>25866452

The only rich people where I live are old people, it's insane, and they never do much with the money other than a massive car they have no idea how to drive. They are wealthy as fuck and they just want to hoard it until they die.

>>25866361

Just don't go too far, dont be completely honest with him.

Also >>25866381 is right. Although to be in the support group is hard, and usually requires a serious physical ailment. How are you on the support group mate?

>>25866452
WHERES WALLACE

Can a Britbot redpill me on university
Is it really that important which university you get your degree from?
I'm taking an extra year in 6form to grab further maths so I can apply for some sort of actuarial science

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>>25866452
>who ate smot at toms table
Sheep

>>25866504
Employers don't care about uni or a first

It's internships/experience that counts

Now fuck off, you underage little shit

>>25866504
>Is it really that important which university you get your degree from?
Incredibly. Unless you're going to a top, TOP Uni then an internship beats it out hands down. Witch is why it's so comical seeing every young person try to get to Uni to 'make something' of themselves when a trade would much better suit them.

>>25865319
>3/5 autismo profile pictures

Do they share weeb shit as well

>>25866504
Employers care more about where your degree comes from than if you get a first or 2.1 (though anything lower than a 2.1 and it won't matter where you got your degree).

>>25866494
>How are you on the support group mate?
Muh suicidal feelings, depression and social anxiety.

just been shopping got tendies and meat feast pizza 2 for 3 quid bargain

>>25865319
>look at these guys I hang out with an associate with daily
>oh, but I'm not like them, I'm not a normie

Yeah, you are. Fuck off. I hope they see your post and you become a paraiah.

>>25865690
Tacky as fuck bruv, but how about a SPA day or week?

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>>>/ic/2357314
>b1tco1nc1
phawen|d

>>25865690
A bit of jewellery that has your name on it or something.

Something that shows you appreciate her

just had a posh wank

>feels good

Lads the clothes washer Chads are here I've left them in the kitchen bit uncomfortable though bit anxious. I asked them if they wanted a cup of tea and the guy goes 'HAHAHA A PAY RISE WOULD BE NICE MATE!!' I didn't know what to say I just stood there like 'h-ha okay...'

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Boring day today. Got stoned last night and just cannot be fucking arsed today. Normally when I feel like this I go to the gym to come aroudn a bit but I can't be bothered.

Think I'll just listen to some music and maybe watch some TV shows.

I wish the blanket I've ordered was here.

>>25866840
Never interact with chavs

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>>25866404
>It's everyone else who should be afraid of continually pressing me

HAHAHAHAHA fuck off you dirty skreb

>>25866840
"Alright... well the kettle's on the side if you change your mind. I'll be upstairs"

>>25866910
They weren't chavs they were friendly they have left now the man also told me I have a hole where the old pipe was or something and how I can fill it I'm too beta to understand what he said but it is the thought that counts.

>>25866893
>weed
>gym

reeeeeee

>Watching BBC news
>interviewing the sister of the ISIS guy who was in the video with the baby
>I still think my brother is a good man
>Okay but you know he takes part in enslaving women and brutally gang raped a 12 year old
>I don't know about that but he is a good man

>the city of terrorist sympathisers

>>25867014
>you know he takes part in enslaving women and brutally gang raped a 12 year old
no you don't

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>>25866893
>mfw I just found another blanket I remember I had from years ago

>>25866488
This desu mate they're wankers

I used to work with a lot of oldags as clients and they all had like a million quid in the bank they were never going to spend but still bitched about how little interest they got. They'd literally be 75 years old with more money than they ever intend to spend and would say shit to me like

>these interest rates are appalling, they need to put the interest rates up. I know that would be bad for people with mortgages but they have to give something to us older people too.,

They are fucked in the head.

>>25866831
>want to have posh wanks
>to embarrassed to buy doms

>>25867027
I wasn't interviewing her personally mate, the BBC news woman was.

>>25866831
>>25867068
Why the fuck would anyone want to have a posh wank?Sex doesn't even feel good with a condom how could you wank with that shit?

>>25867114

I used to treat myself to one every now and then, it saves on cleanup a bit.

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>>25867044
Pretty comfy looking blanket, huh?

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>>25867138
>cleanup

Just jizz on the carpet mate

>been desperately lookin for a job, last 800 quid
>finally got a full time position on monday on a hotel 20 mins away(30 if I walk), decent money, tips and free foods so why the fuck not
>suddenly
>agency accepts me after skype interview
>interview request with another agency tomorrow
>tesco accepts me for a cushy night grocer shift(fucking 1 hour away till I move to the city centre, but still would rather stay in the hotel so I never need to pay for the bus after moving).

Why the fuck is life so shit?

it's like you search for a qt GF for so long, then all of a sudden when you get one all the bitches just fucking flock all over you when you ain't need that shit anymore.

>>25867198
stick with the hotel gig mate

>>25867217

Yeah man.

Seriously I had 7 fucking thousand quid when I moved, all that fucking spending, shopping, lavish eating, partying while months unemployed.

fuck I coulda gotten cosmetic cheek+jaw surgery and still had thousands to spare.

Now I learned the value of work. Neetbucks ain't payin for shit unless you live in the basement like a fag.

>>25853261
How soon do I have to tell jobcentre that I've got a job?

>>25867198
>it's like you search for a qt GF for so long, then all of a sudden when you get one all the bitches just fucking flock all over you when you ain't need that shit anymore.

That literally happens. I spent 19 years being a KV then finally managed to get gf and as soon as I did had countless opportunities to bang other girls and would have loads of girls coming onto me. It's something to do with perceived social status I suppose.

>>25867276
You don't have to tell them, just stop turning up.

What job did you get?

>>25867291
accounts assistant.

I did work experience at the job centre until two weeks ago and my appointment is this Friday so I'd feel weird/uncomfortable not telling them, also my dad would complain at me. I think I've only been on UC for a month, what a meme.

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Yes,new pics of this cumdump. I'm jerking to this worthless,stupid toilet trash again. Alison you fucking whore I'm gonna blow over your whoring body tart. You cockwhore,you take loads of cock at weekends you slag,here it comes bitch in your hair you slag.

I feel like I should try phishing her again

Play on recent events

>we detected even more unusual activity, click here to review

poleaboo has been watching beastality porn recently and has been enjoying it

>>25867329
It's so stupid it might just work.

>>25867329

So then she clicks there and then what?

Are you going to build a website just to fuck with some girl?

>>25867364
>So then she clicks there and then what?
She enters her login info and gets redirected somewhere

Pretty sure google doesn't have that phishing detection page like facebook

>Are you going to build a website just to fuck with some girl?
It's just stealing code and making a few adjustments

>>25867401
google does have it

log into your gmail from a different browser or device

>>25867401
You know you can get around those by spoofing your MAC address to match hers?

>>25867434
>log into your gmail from a different browser or device
no, I meant the one where it tells you to change your email if you've been redirected to facebook from a website that isn't facebook

>>25867452
I don't know her address

>>25866494
I'm in support group for "panic disorder"

Been in it 3 years now... My review should have come up by now

>>25867475
Get her IP and MAC address when she accesses your site, then spoof these and you'll be able to log in as if you were at her computer.

>>25867505
Wish I'd know that last night

Deleted the site to cover my tracks

>6 Dominos around me

All collection only. This has got to be really bad for business. Just think of the money they could be making if they just hired a minimum wage driver.

>>25867576

Just use a paki store mate, even the worst ones are cheaper and better than dominos even on 2-for-1 pizza tuesdays.

>>25867639
They're not though

>>25867639
I usually use paki shops but they're hit and miss. Sometimes the food is nice, other times it takes 2 hours to arrive and is garbage.

Stopped ordering from my favourite place recently

>local
>nice food
>cheap
>old driver left
>got new snivveling little chav driver and a fat bastard
>ordered 3 times since new drivers
>twice at home
>once at work
>took over and hour each time even though they're 10 minutes away

RIP.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-35341256

kek, these morons will never be able to defeat us.

>>25866608
>>25867496
Any help you two could give me? I've just said depression and I'm not on the support group. Me and my mum are struggling and I, too have panic attacks etc. How should I go about getting onto the support group? By mentioning these things to the gp?

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Not going to be aushwitz anymore lads

>can hear my 18 year old next door neighbour banging his 12 year old gf

Then people wonder why I want to end it all

>>25867835
>us
fuck off, george

>>25867835
lel what a fucking idiot

just farted into a Lucozade bottle and drank from it

tastes like dense cabbage air

>want to play my guitar but chavs outside

scared desu

>>25867873

Excuse me but i'm actually allah. Please cut your fingers off that you used to type that.

>>25867837
>By mentioning these things to the gp?

I contacted the jc a while back asking about changing to the support group.

I suggest you do the same, that's the first step.

I was told from what I remember, I have to write a letter asking for a re consideration or something. because they don't just swap you over.
like you need to rre apply but for the support group or something.

you send a sick note with that application also, you do that with every review too.

personally Im waitinig till my review comes up, which it does in june then im going to ask again about getting into the support group.

I don't know if its a different application form.
I wasn't told there was a support group when I first applied for esa.

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>>25868130
careful now, la'