>tfw hold my own hand in bed as if I'm holding hands with a girl >tfw circle my thumb on the back of the other hand as if it's a girl >tfw rub my foot up and down my calf as if it's a girl >tfw run my fingers up and down and through my chest hair as if it's a girl doing it >tfw whisper to myself in a feminine voice and reply in a deep whisper complaining jokingly to "her" that I'm tired and need to sleep >tfw lie in bed and pretend a qt girl is lying with her face towards mine and smiling at me >tfw fold up my bathrobe and put it between legs as if it's a girl's leg >tfw kiss empty air pretending I'm kissing a girl >tfw lie on my back and hold my arm out and then folded at a ninety degree angle to pretend I'm holding a girl who's lying against me >tfw go through each board on 4chan pretending I'm giving a tour to my girlfriend and giving her a humorous little summary about each one >tfw watching home videos on my laptop of my family and me as a kid and pretending a qt girl is sitting beside me saying "awww" and smiling and asking who the different people are >tfw walking home alone and pretending she's walking beside me and think up lengthy dialogue and occasionally laugh at something she or I said in the imagined dialogue >tfw imagine meeting her family and having them like me >tfw imagine her meeting my family and us sleeping and talking quietly in my room at home >tfw imagine her and my mom preparing coffee after dinner and watching her laugh at something my mom says >tfw imagine making her mom laugh and making her father a little annoyed when she and her mother tell him that he's probably boring me and that I probably want to get to bed after the long journey >tfw developing several lengthy scenarios involving me and my qt crush and replaying them mentally each night while adding minor details and more dialogue and extending them further each day
>>25850480 In the context of my life thus far it's actually a very nice period for me. I realize I may seem insane or something like that but really the less I have to do with reality the less distressed I am. I suppose I'm too weak for this life, perhaps too cowardly. But my imagination has been my most loyal friends ever since I was a child, and it remains the only source of any happiness I experience.
>tfw play "Rhubarb" by Aphex Twin and imagine us lying silently next to each other and knowing without speaking that we love each other and that our love extends to a form of friendship as well as romantic attraction >tfw ironing my shirts and turning around to my bed and smiling and performing a camp curtsee imaging her reading or on her laptop and smiling at me >tfw imagine taking her younger siblings or cousins trick-or-treating around her neighborhood and walking slowly behind them along the sidewalk as they run from home to home >tfw imagine the taste of her warm saliva and the subtle smell of her hot breath as we kiss >tfw imagine cooking her a meal and pretending as if I cook things like that lot despite having nobody but myself to cook for and despite the reality that I only ever eat the same pre-prepared salad every night in my room so I don't have to talk to my housemates >tfw sitting cross-legged on my bed and imagining her walking into the room in an oversized tshirts brushing her teeth and looking beautiful because of her lack of affectation >tfw brushing the backs of my fingers against my throat because it isn't as stubbly as my jaw and pretending I'm brushing her cheek >tfw hug myself occasionally and pretend she's hugging me from behind >tfw sitting on public transport with my eyes closed pretending she's beside me listening to an iPod I imagine having through one earbud while I listen through the other >tfw search the internet for songs with her name in the lyrics or the title and memorizing a small playlist of obscure but good songs including her name >tfw imagining watching her family's home movies and investing genuine interest in her friends, family members and childhood experiences >tfw imagine lifting the back of her hair up before going to sleep behind her and kissing her neck >tfw imagine kissing her while running my fingertips along the backs of her ears >tfw imagine kissing her while tracing her collarbone towards her shoulder
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