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I fucked up /r9k/. Is this redeemable? Can...
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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I fucked up /r9k/. Is this redeemable? Can I still make this girl my gf?

>be me
>work at a multi-story office
>qt girl works in another office on a higher floor
>develop an intense crush on her
>barely see her since we're in different companies
>only time I see her is passing each other on the stairwell
>drink dozens of mugs of water every day to produce urine
>walk slowly on the stairwell hoping to see her pass
>sometimes we pass and make eye contact
>feel so goddamn amazing when it happens
>she sees me walk into one toilet
>hear her go into the adjoining toilet (the walls touch and are thin)
>feel to nervous to urinate
>start spitting instead hoping to make it sound like I'm peeing
>become conscious that she'll think I'm masturbating
>panic like hell
>wait until she leaves and rush out
>tell her, in a "comical" and casual way: "I did urinate"
>she turns and says "huh?"
>tell her I know it didn't sound like I urinated but that I'm a "quiet pe-er" (I didn't want to use that word)
>she raises her eyebrows like I'm retarded and leaves
>go back into the toilet and hyperventilate

Is there any way I can recover from this? I'm so fucking emotionally exhausted from this. Literally 8 months of water over-consumption and silent flirting for this.
Are you autistic by chance?
Well, that's pretty fucking weird and autistic, but as a consolation you're definitely thinking about it WAYYYYY more than she is.

Two questions:

1. Are you ACTUALLY committed to trying (for real trying) to woo this girl or are you content with years of eye contact on the stairs (be honest)

2. Have you had any other conversations with this girl besides your weird spergy piss outburst?
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Sometimes a story so autistic it can't be fake is posted. This is one of those days.
I haven't been diagnosed as autistic, so no.

1. I'm interested in knowing why you think I would be content with just eye contact? I do find the idea of dating her surreal to the point of seeming impossible / unthinkable.

2. We've exchanged a few words before on the internet crashing in the building and she smiled at me in a way that made me pull faces at myself in the bathroom mirror for 10 minutes.
Jesus christ you need to calm the fucko down
You need to fuck off back to /b/.
Anon the only thing you can do to redeem yourself is to rape this girl.

Don't worry--every girl's secret fantasy is to be raped. You must drag her into the bathroom or a closet or something and rape her. She will be upset at first but will eventually fall in love.

If you drop the spaghetti again without raping her, I'm afraid you must move on.
She most definitely thinks you're a freak congrats.
You should have just made no noise and acted as if everything was regular upon leaving, now she will always remember you as quiet pee guy.

She's probably laughing about it to her boyfriend right now, op
First thing to make me laugh in a week.

"I did urinate"
I don't think she has a boyfriend. Something about the way she conducts herself and so on tells me she doesn't. What can I do to make her forget about this or laugh about it with me? I genuinely think she is the type of girl who finds social awkwardness cute or charming in the guy she is attracted to, but I'm afraid I just seem creepy now instead of cute and awkward. Please respond.
nah dude this is pretty standard reddit-tier fakeshit
>I did urinate


god damn autists
At least you're drinking lots of water and that's important! Good on you, OP!
Maybe content was the wrong word. I guess I meant do you actually have the balls to try and woo this girl, or are you going to just settle for years of eye contact?

If you've got the balls, here's my advice. You can take it or leave it.

The fact that you've exchanged a few words before is good.

Step zero is man the fuck up and pretend this weird piss incident never happened.

Step one, which should be obvious, is talking to her more. You need smalltalk and it needs to be more interesting than talking about the weather or some shit. Figure this out yourself. The important thing is establishing more contact. People will let their guard down more with someone who they even VAGUELY know.

Step two is kind of difficult. I have a friend who looks like a spergy greasy guido and he gets more girls than most people I know. His opening line to random girls is a compliment, but NOT complimenting her beauty. Say something like "Yo those shoes are cool! I wish I could pull of Converses" to open up a simple conversation which is beyond inane smalltalk. Here is your chance to get to know this girl better, but it can be delicate and you could totally fuck it up if you say something autistic.

If you've made it this far you should be able to gauge whether or not this girl likes you or thinks you're a creepy sperg. Step two is the hard part. If you've completed it and you think there's a chance she likes you, invite her to coffee during a lunch break.

This is the best advice I can muster. Honestly, it's probably pretty hard to make some random girl you pass in the hallway sometimes your girlfriend. If you can't pull it off don't beat yourself up over it. Most people cannot pull this off unless you're 10/10 Gyan Rosling.
why even bother typing this?

it's obvious OP is beyond helping and the girl clearly isn't into him
This is irrelevant but God Damn you seem like a normalfag right now
That was pretty irrelevant get off my board virgin reeee
cuz bored

cuz I am. I come here to make myself feel better about my mediocre life famiglia. OP will probably never get with this girl but getting advice from a bunch of sexless robots aint getting anybody anywhere that's 4 sure
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well now you know she never was interested in you or else that wouldnt be her reaction.
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