The wincest thread inspired me to write this again. I'm just asking you guys to read it, just the thought of sharing this will probably make the pain go away.
>have this cousin
>she looks a lot like me and behaves similarly as I did a couple years ago except she's a tumblrina
>that's irrelevant to the story anyways
>we rarely see each other (maybe once or twice a year) since her family lives a bit far from us
>she rarely ever answers my texts
>last time she did it I absolutely smashed the spaghetti on the floor
>couple months back
>send her a text explaining that I can not stop thinking about her, that she inspires me to be a better person
>i didn't lie about a thing
>actually thought she would answer this time
>she didn't, obviously
>didn't see or hear about her since
>fast forward to yesterday
>my mom goes "anon, we're probably gonna go to a camping site with tumblrina next easter"
I feel absolutely fucked. I am not usually awkward with anyone but I have absolutely no idea how this is gonna go down. Send help
Also, if you guys want, I'll translate the text and type it up here I don't want to because I know it's gonna be fucking cringy
I wish how I saw this was how it really was.
"Alright, I'm writing this to get over it myself; I feel like you're always on my mind and I do everything I do for you, in a way or another. I'm aware this sounds creepy and weird, but whatever. Now that I came to terms with myself on this, I can move on. Don't bother answering to be honest"
Now I understand why she didn't answer. It's better this way I think
I wrote this text with some words in English just to sound cool
and to avoid actually saying what I thought. Absolutely cringy to read.
Fuck off desu. Off the whole board, preferably.
Literally no way
Remember when I said I dropped the spaghetti last time she answered?
Well I had just told her about some track I enjoyed listening to (I think it was Escape From Midwich Valley). She answered "Who is this?" and I answered by my name, which is pretty unusual.
She ment "Who's this song by?".
Calm down, you know i'm right.
I'm not insulting you, antagonizing you, or anything.
It's just a fact, sure something'll kill you at some point in your life whether you like it or not.
I guess by relation you choose everyday not to die by not killing yourself. So by some regard you choose when you die until it isn't your choice, but for lack of a better term, fate's.
Don't get triggered because the concept of not living anymore bothers you. You're going to fucking die one day, be it when you jump off a bridge, eat a gun, or your organs fail when you're riddled with cancer when you're 30 or 98.
You. are going. to die.
The easiest part is to stop being so fucking bothered by it.
It fucking baffles me.
And i'm not telling you to.
I'm not acting edgy.
Since when did talking about reality and it's very real possibilities become edgy?
If i'm bothering you about it just tell me, it isn't my intention.
anyone that wants to use a name on an anonymous board is fucking edgy and has a complex.
>hurr durr I am special
>I have a name in a sea of voices
STOP POSTING IF YOU CAN'T ANSWER ME
I apologize, miscommunication has been the source of many if not an equal amount of issues similar.
Would someone simply by pointing out you have the ability to commit suicide compel you to do so?
I didn't answer you because any reply would be construed as flippant or defensive.
I was going to reply when I had the realization of that.
But I guess I'll bite the bullet and tell you what I decided not to since you asked for a response.
I think I do have a complex. I'm not sure what it is yet, but i'm sure you will tell me about it.
There we go, that was the answer that I wanted friend.
The first step to solving it is acceptance.
I don't want this to come across as sarcasm or hyperbole, but I am generally pleased that you answered me with such honesty.
Good on you tripfag, now just drop the name and return to the sea.
Then I re-iterate my apology.
Maybe i've been indoctrinated to believe, with no insult to you, that people here differ from that level of sensitivity.
You know when you were younger and decided to debunk the "boogeyman" persona that this site was mantled in. And discovered it was just a wayplace of free speech without inhibition or fragility of topic.
Drop the name then. You don't need it here.
>Christmas eve present wrapping with aunt
>Alcohol involved, she's a little tipsy and we end up getting frisky
>Decide to stop before things get too far
>Christmas day late afternoon, mom is getting everyone together to go see Christmas lights and fireworks
>Aunt says she's not up for it and gives me some signals, I manage to duck out as well
>About 15 minutes after everyone is gone, aunt basically tells me to fuck her
We had the house to ourselves for a few hours and fucked twice. Acted like nothing was up when everyone got home.
Imagine the whole board saying to one single person "You know you could commit suicide right?" "Suicide is a viable option" "You could off yourself if you wanted"
It sounds really passive-aggressive, and I know for a fact that it could kill someone, regardless of their "level of sensitivity".
>You don't need it here.
I don't, but therein lies my complex.
Not exactly for attention, but for something I guess similar if you looked at it with neutrality.
I'd tell you about it personally, but I don't think it's worth the effort.
idk if it's interesting but it makes me want to shoot myself every time i think about it
it was much more awkward and cringy than my retelling could ever be
>growing up, hate cousin
>she's homeschooled christian and unfunny
>only see each other on christmas vacation in florida
>when we're maybe 14-15 her brother was bullying her
about her tits being too bigso i comforted her and that was the first time i'd ever physically touched a girl
>weird pining for her grows
>later that year her mom gets fucked up in surgery and gets addicted to all kinds of prescription drugs, they don't come to christmas holiday anymore until 2014
>we're both 19
>i was /fit/ the year before so looked pretty good
>she looked great in her christmas outfit, perfect ass, perfect tits, cute face
>while the adults talk about boring shit after christmas dinner like how many of their friends died that year i invited her for a night walk around the block where we just talked and shit
>we held hands and she cuddled up against my arm
>the next day we have another get together at the same place
>she tells me her boyfriend cheated on her before and is probably doing it again but he's literally a millionaire so she doesn't want to ruin her future
>cries into my chest
>i tried to kiss her probably 3 times that night and she awkwardly rebuked me every time but still cuddled/hugged/handheld/etc
said our goodbyes for the year, she gave me her number
>we texted for like a week but it just fell off
>every time i think about it i cringe into myself
and then this year (cont)
>I don't think its worth the effort
That sentence has made me more engaged to the issue that you have.
Please elaborate on the issue at hand, and maybe I can put my two cents in, if you would like to share and discuss the issue that is?
>I know for a fact that it could kill someone, regardless of their "level of sensitivity".
I don't believe this to be true.
I don't believe that the population of people here have truly lost it's mass of people with mental hardiness. Not with the information and culture that's been passed around here for nearly a decade.
Strangers on the internet are not capable enough to drive a person, a person who is already confident in their will to live, to suicide.
>go to the house for christmas
>she's really friendly and happy to see me
>always hugging and being physical
>while the family opened gifts she sat on the arm of my chair with her arm around my shoulder
>get her alone later in the night
>apologize for last year
>she says it's fine, says it's cute that i have a crush on her
>proceeds to tell me about the 9 boyfriends she had this semester and the new one she's been dating for a week
>this eats away at me for the rest of the night, because i've been fantasizing about her for a year now and she's fucking ten guys every half year
>every time i see her text him i get a pit in my stomach
>by the end of the night i'm barely talking to her at all
>the next day we have a family game of crazy rummy (fun game, i recommend it)
>she's playing footise under the table with me and smiling and laughing, but i'm sad and angry that she's doing this while texting her fucking boyfriend at the same time
>after like an hour of the card game i'm completely despondent and fed up
>5 hours later the card game is over but my dad says "why don't you stay here while i go fix something at your aunt's house"
>say i don't want to but he forces me to stay anyways
>try to ignore cousin as much as possible
>two awkward hours later dad and I leave
>third day I have to pick up her mom to go somewhere and do something
>see cousin while waiting for her mom
>feel like i was too harsh yesterday and go to talk to her
>end up awkwardly hugging her for like 3 straight minutes
it makes me cringe so fucking hard just thinking about it
sorry for no payoff but i told you it wasn't interesting at the start :^)
Pretty much yes, having the information or affiliates of the said information brought up over and over, and making you see a pattern in it. Like how the brain likes to see faces in things because of how it's programmed.
To imagine patterns in things where they generally aren't, but only appear that way to you. Whether it's because it's a confirmation bias because you're looking for it, or if it really is an obvious connection. You can't really be sure until you ask someone to observe it who isn't looking for what you are. It's a hard thing to do without influencing their perception.
Like staring up into the sky looking at a shape you see in the clouds. You can't ask a person if they what you do, without mentioning it. And if you do, you've dashed away your chances a genuine, I don't know the word i'm looking for. I sat here for about five minutes trying to describe to you what i'm saying, and I can't.
If I told you anymore, if you wanted to know more about it.
Understand by all means that what you define as the line between heartfelt opinion and edgy beliefs may blur, and i'll apologize for have taking up your time in trying to explain something that I myself don't have a tight grasp on.
And i've written a fucking novel.
Its very interesting, I don't mind the length as you did your best to describe it with a decent example and explanation.
Does it become an obsession to see patterns then? does your mind focus on this too much and causes you to lose touch with everything else?
And you didn't take up my time, its nice to actually understand and talk to someone about something that is interesting and engaging to talk about!
>Does it become an obsession to see patterns then? does your mind focus on this too much and causes you to lose touch with everything else?
Like a 'robot'
If you really want me to tell you about it give me something to contact you on.
As i've said about >>25843474, I believe in the resilience of people against mental damage here.
But also so in its ability to deal it out. My time here in its length has shown me that in full force, and I may have mistakenly and regrettably been a part of it in the past.
So much so its sharpened my carefulness as not to openly make myself a target by my own shortcomings.
If you're curious about what i'm talking about, i'll tell you about it personally. But I won't expose a wound in my mind for others to make a pisspot out of. I'm not so naive to make such a rookie mistake.
you're not gonna get any wincest breh
>>send her a text explaining that I can not stop thinking about her, that she inspires me to be a better person
you sound so thirsty in this oh god she didn't reply 'cause this text is just really cringe. just pretend you've never sent it when you see each other.
Did I not get it.
its me the waifu poster btw.
I suppose i'm merely helping my point by alluding to the behavior you asked me about to be not unlike a machine.
Constantly surveying and comparing information without reason or cause like a malfunctioning machine.
I've got a really dogmatic opinion about what I think a robot is and should be, but my beliefs don't make them true.
Maybe i'm just something else really.
>tfw jerking my big fat stink juicy neet cock
>mfw read to blow a thick load
>tfw shoot ropes of hot cum all over myself
w h o h e r e / l e w d /